I Wanna Live
By: Dark Nuriko of Freedom Aozu
Disclaimer:Prince of Tennis, or Tennis no Ojisama, does not belong to me. Nor do any of the many hot characters. cries There, you made me admit it.
Author's Note: This is a song fic that I can up with on a road trip to Northern California. Once we stopped for the night at our destination, I pulled out my Josh Gracin CD and once again listened to the song that started the idea. The song 'I Wanna Live' by the once American Idol contestant, made me think of a certain stoic and rather serious Buchou. Namely, Tezuka Kunimitsu. Thus, this story is for him. Told from Fuji Syusuke's POV, mostly because I couldn't do Tezuka if I tried. Yet it goes along with a story that was done by Kasey Sanada and myself, under the pen name of Freedom Aozu, named 'The Spring That Melted the Ice'. So please enjoy.
'Italics' means lyrics.
/word/ means thoughts.
I Wanna LiveBy: Dark Nuriko
Sometimes I feel like I need to shake myself, to wake myself.
I feel like I'm just sleepwalkin' through my life.
/He's not really into it again/
"20 laps, now!" I watched Tezuka Kunimitsu holler at his team, his brown eyes serious, but almost dead. I couldn't stand seeing him like that. Was there nothing he was feeling any more? He seemed to be moving through life just dreaming... nothing really touching him in order to bring something to him.
It's like I'm swimin' in an ocean of emotion.
But still somehow slowly goin' numb inside.
Walking over to Tezuka, unable to resist the urge to crack that cool shell he had erected around himself, I knew I wouldn't stop until I saw something. "Buchou," I called out, using my calmest and sweetest tone possible. My eyes gave the appearance of being closed, but I could see. A smile that I constantly wore was on my face. Tezuka glanced at me from over his shoulder and dismissed me with out even saying a word.
/Don't think I'll let that slide/
"Buchou, why so hard today?" I asked, now close enough to him to catch the slight flecks of gold in his rich brown eyes. He would be so very stunning if he would just show something.
I don't like who I'm becoming.
I know I've got to do something.
Before my whole life passes right by.
"There is nothing different between today and any other day," Tezuka replied in his deep voice, one finger on his right hand raised as he pushed up his glasses with it. I frowned mentally, while externally, my smile was still in place.
/There is nothing positive about acting like the iceberg that sank the Titanic/
Moving in for the kill, I pressed up against his back and leaned in on tip toe to softly blow on his ear as I spoke. "If you believe that, I've got an iceberg I could sell you," I purred. A fine tremor coursed through his body and it was only from being pressed against him that I could feel it.
"Don't you have laps?" he asked, his voice still stoic and calm. I sighed, the large breath falling across his neck and ear and slowly slid away. Once again, a tremor caught the buchou's body, making me smirk inside. At least he was feeling something, even if he wasn't really showing it yet.
"Hai hai," I agreed. I moved to join the others, who were already running. Yet I paused long enough to look over my shoulder. "Yet we should talk later. At a late lunch, since I know you didn't eat."
Tezuka's eyes flecked over me, almost as if curious as to how I knew such a thing. Being friends with everyone on the team had it's merits. Inui knew everything that went on, and if he said the buchou had been too busy to eat lunch, then it was true.
"If I agree will you leave me alone?" he asked, his voice almost as cold as that iceberg I wanted to sell him.
"Of course, until then." Tezuka's eyes narrowed, just a small display of something... some small emotion. Then they returned to normal as he ran a hand through his thick brown hair.
/But you never believe I'd be even harder on you once we're alone/
It was true. In other company, I was sly and slow. I didn't push him too hard because I didn't want to allow everyone else to see the feelings and passion I knew was hidden just under the surface of Tezuka's facade. That was reserved for me and me alone. With a genuine smile in my heart, I took off to run my laps, knowing the sooner I finished, the sooner I could torment Tezuka again.
I wanna cry like the rain, cry like the rain.
Shine like the sun on a beautiful morning.
Sing to the heavens like a church bell ringin'.
Fight with the devil and go do swingin'.
Tennis practice ended and once again, Tezuka headed straight for the office. I swiftly showered and changed before lifting my tennis bag over my shoulder and heading after him. He was not going to get out of our lunch date.
/He would forget it in a heartbeat... he's just that one track minded/
I sighed, a crack in my constant smile showing as I watched Tezuka pouring over papers. He wouldn't agree to go anywhere. He was wrapped up in all that paperwork that there was no way he'd want to leave. Sadly, I couldn't force him to keep his promise either. I knew he loved tennis more than anything, and taking him away from it would hurt him more than anything else.
/But we have a date, Tezuka. You are not getting out of it/
That in mind, I left my bag just inside the door without Tezuka noticing and headed on over to the closet restaurant. Luckily, I had made him some of my apple pie for my home economics class. So he'd get his favorite desert. I wasn't stupid. I knew there was one way I was going to get to the man I loved, and it was going to be with a pie he couldn't refuse.
Picking up the Chinese I ordered, I turned back to the school, a slight skip in my step.
Fly like a bird, roll like a stone.
Love like I ain't afraid to be alone.
Take everything that this world has to give.
I wanna live.
Walking back toward the office, I watched the old woman leave. She gave me a smile and I smiled my constant smile back at her. She was so sweet sometimes. She knew I tried to keep Tezuka from over working himself and would see to it he took care of himself. While Oishi was able to make Tezuka laugh, it was me who took care of his body. Oishi, who was madly in love with Eiji, just cared for our captain as much as the rest of the team. He saw him like a brother, who was in need of loosening up.
/Man, if he kept himself any tighter you could bounce a quarter off him/
Rolling my eyes at my thoughts, I sighed and went into the room, holding up the bags of food. "And your savior comes, bearing gifts of food," I called, announcing my presence at the same time. Tezuka looked up from his papers, surprise coloring his eyes for a moment.
"Fuji. I forgot all about..." I waved off his words, my usual smile a little less severe.
"Don't worry about it, buchou. I figured you'd be busy, so I brought the food to you."
Tezuka looked at me for a moment before nodding. I could tell he had wanted to smile. It had been in those stunning eyes of his. Yet he hadn't. His expression was still as stoic as ever.
/Dammit... just once... smile for me/
"Thank you," was all he said. I sighed silently and brought the food over. Clearing an area away from all of the paperwork he was in need to do, I the went over to him and placed a hand over his left, making him stop writing.
"Welcome. Food now, papers after." That said I pulled him up, plucking the pen from his hands and setting it down. Tezuka was so startled that he followed without complaints. That was good. I enjoyed ruffling those perfectly placed feathers of his.
Sometimes I wonder why I work so hard, to guard my heart.
When I hardly feel anything at all.
We ate and I talked. I could tell Tezuka was only half listening, his mind still lost in the mound of paperwork still left to handle. So I began to work on cracking that ivory tower he had built up around himself in order to protect himself.
"You know, buchou, you shouldn't do all this by yourself. Why not have Oishi help? He is Fukubuchou, after all." Tezuka's eyes seemed to stare at me then.
"Oishi has other things on his mind right now. Paper work is not one of them," he answered coolly. I rolled my eyes, of which he couldn't see.
"Other things on mind or not, he should be helping you. It isn't nice of him to let you work alone." I could tell Tezuka was thinking over my words. After a moment, he seemed to nod.
"I don't see you really busy, so you can help me. You should have been vice-captain anyway, yet you didn't even half try for the position. You let me win."
I opened my eyes at that, and I knew I didn't imagine the slight flinch that crossed Tezuka's body. Everyone worried when I opened my eyes fully. For that was when they realized I was not joking.
"You can believe what you like, Buchou. I was pushing just as hard to win." That was a lie, of course.
/Ha, you let him win because you didn't want to re-injure his arm. You're the only one who knows. He was of course, far above the other ones who were playing. But you simply let him take the game/
I mentally glared at my mental voice. If it believed I would admit that to Tezuka, then it was seriously not wanting to win the best prize. Which was Tezuka himself.
"Humph," was all that passed Tezuka's lips as he finished up his food. Once he finished he tossed the empty try into the trash. I did likewise, finished as well. I wiped my mouth on one of the napkins provided and looked at Tezuka seriously.
"I'll help with the paperwork, but I'm not going to admit I went easy on you. I was just overly tired."
I've spent my whole life building up this ivory tower.
Now that I'm in it, I keep wishin' it would fall.
We worked side by side in silence, the mound of paperwork shrinking steadily as we seemed to work as one. Occasionally I allowed my shoulder to bump against his. My leg rested against his own. It was heaven and hell. And all through it, fine tremors passed through his body with every brush of contact.
So I can feel the ground beneath me.
Really taste this air I'm breathin'.
And know that I'm alive.
Once the papers were done. We stood and stretched, both of us at the same time. We looked at one another, and for a split second there was a small smile on his lips. My breath hitched and my heart sped up. He was the most handsome man I knew when he smiled. It was so rare that I knew I fell a little more in love with him as he did such a thing.
/Don't just stand there you moron, do something/
My mind was right. This was a chance to find out if Tezuka liked me like I loved him. "I love you," I whispered softly.
Tezuka's eyes widened at the confession before he whispered back words so low I almost missed them. "I wanna live."
Without another thought, I leaned in and kissed him.
I wanna cry like the rain, cry like the rain.
Shine like the sun on a beautiful morning.
Sing to the heavens like a church bell ringin'.
Fight with the devil an' go down swingin'.
At first, Tezuka seemed frozen as my lips meet his. He didn't move, yet he didn't reach up and slap me either. I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. It wasn't usual to get nothing from him.
Fly like a bird, roll like a stone.
Love like I ain't afraid to be alone.
Take everything that this world has to give.
I wanna live.
The it happened. The barest brush of his lips pressing back to mine. It was in heaven and hell once again. Only this time, it seemed as if flood gates had been opened and now that feelings had been felt and he had allowed himself to show it, there was no stopping it.
I wanna live.
The kiss suddenly took on a hot and hungry manner. Tezuka began to kiss back with a passion that was stronger than anything I had ever expected, even from what I believed to have been hidden just beneath that cool exterier.
His tongue traced over my lips and without even having to think about it, I parted my lips. His tongue slipped inside, tracing the warm carvern of my mouth and learning it. Passion, desire, need, and want all flavored the kiss. It was the best I had ever felt and I refused to let it end.
His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer against his hard body as we kissed.
/Dear god! I think I've been burned for life/
Something deep inside me sayin' life is like a vapor.
It's gone in just the twinklin' of an eye.
Then, just as I moved to wrap my arms around his waist, the kiss ended. He pulled back, his lips slightly swollen, as I was certain mine were more so. His breathing was a little ragged and his eyes slightly glazed with unspent passion. I was fairly certain he was feeling as aroused and hard as I was. His erection pressed against my hip hadn't been imagined.
I wanna cry like the rain, cry like the rain.
Shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin'.
Sing to the heaven's like a church bell ringin'.
Fight with the devil and go down swingin'.
He pulled himself back together almost instantly. Once agian falling into the iceburg. No emotion in his eyes. His breathing normal. His swollen lips the only sign it had happened at all. He also bowed to me, which made my barely open eyes grow wide and fully open at the action.
"I sorry. That was, uncalled for. Good evening, Fuji. Thank you for the help."
/What the hell was that/
I had to agree. One second he had been hot and passionate, exactly what I had wanted in my arms. Then next, he had turned cold. It just hadn't been fair!
I watched him walk away, his body tense and ram rod stiff. A frown formed on my well-kissed lips. Sometimes, it didn't pay to hide emotions. Even I knew that one. More so than anyone else could.
Fly like a bird, roll like a stone.
Love like I ain't afraid to be alone.
Take everything that this world has to give.
I sighed and picked up my stuff, realizing that I had never gotten around to giving Tezuka the pie I had baked. Staring at the box I had placed it in, an idea struck me. My eyes fell to their seemingly closed position while my constant smile once again crept up on my lips.
/You think you win this, Tezuka? You haven't seen anything yet. I've only begun to fight./
With a full smirk suddenly on my lips and Tezuka's kiss still fresh in my mind, I locked up and left as well.
Oh, there would be a next time. And that was when I'd really let him have it. He would find out that kissing me once and showing me exactly what was hidden beneath that stoic facade had only made me hungry for more.
/First, I'll need to get invited to his home/
True... an invitation could be hard to get. Especially when I don't normally manage to get close enough to Tezuka to even talk of such things.
/Oh, but if you got all sad... because you had to be alone... he might let you.../
I smirked, my mental voice perfectly right. Tezuka had proven that he cared. He wouldn't have kissed me back otherwise. So if that was the case, then all I had to do was make him want me more. Make him want to have me near. And seeing as my family was away for the rest of this week, why not enjoy this moment? Use it to my advantage.
/Then, the apple pie.../
I smirked. That would be the final touch. Tezuka's family were big on always having apples and other such things in the house. I knew because his family and mine were fairly close friends. Well, occasionally they were big on talking. That was all I knew and all I needed. It gave me the information I needed.
So get an invitation to Tezuka's house and then bake him an apple pie to die for. That was my goal for tomorrow. With a smile on my lips and a happy spring to my step, I headed on home. Tomorrow, I would make Tezuka mine.
I wanna take every breath I can get.
I wanna live.
To Be Continued in "The Spring That Melted the Ice"