Luke wailed, Lily screamed, Emma silently counted backwards from ten, and Will groaned as he entered the front door on his fifth day after returning from work at the start of the school year. Emma was faring much better at dealing with an infant than she had with Lily, but it was the firstborn child who was the main source of frustration for the family of four. Her wild jealousy and still-untamed OCD were the cause of frequent meltdowns and full-blown panic attacks. Both parents were facing the struggle of dividing their attention between their equally needy children.
Will wiped his hand over his face and unlaced his shoes before forcing his already exhausted body to take on dealing with his emotional daughter. He found Lily holding onto Emma's legs, screeching at the top of her lungs while Emma changed Luke's diaper. Will stepped into the room, pried the four-year-old off of his wife's legs, removing her from the chaos and taking her to the kitchen to convince Lily to drink a glass of cool water to calm down. As her face grew redder and angrier with frustration, Will felt himself aging.
He was tired.
It took a few additional minutes, but Lily had settled down to the point of hiccups and looked up at her father with remorse. She could see the exhaustion in his eyes, and shrank at her own lack of self-control. "Lily, this has got to stop," He demanded, "What on earth made you that upset?"
Her lower lip trembled and eyes grew watery again. "I just wanted Mommy," She blubbered.
"Oh, Lily Ann, that is not a reason to act this way," Will sighed, disciplining his unstable daughter as gently as his low-levels of patience would allow him to. "Honey, you cry about this way too much. We need to find a way to understand that sometimes Luke needs Mommy more than you do. He's just a tiny baby, Lily. You are a big girl who knows she has to be patient. You can take care of yourself for the most part. Lukie can't."
Lily sniffed heavily three times before speaking. "You...you and Mommy love-love baby Luke more than me!" She bellowed, throwing her head back. "You do-o-o!"
"That is not true, Lily," Will retorted sharply. "your Mom and I love you and Luke just the same. Don't you believe otherwise." He pulled her close, keeping in mind to stay gentle. Kissing her temple he asked, "Should we see of Mommy and Luke want to go for a walk?"
"Can we leave Luke here?"
Will carried her down the hall, giving his daughter a look. "What do you think the answer to that is?"
She hid her face in his neck, playing with the button closest to his tie. Upon seeing Emma cooing at her baby brother, however, the tears started all over again. The mother paused her bonding with her son and looked up at her husband warily. "Just put her down and get changed," She sighed, "We'll deal with it slowly."
He did so, depositing is howling daughter on the floor, giving her leeway to attack Emma's legs again, kicking at her ankles. Will didn't look back at his disaster of a family as he shut the door to his bedroom. Instead, he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the wall, trying to regulate his breathing and calm his frustration. If he had known a year previous that Emma hadn't actually started her birth control again, he would have gone to great lengths to ensure that they remained a family of three.
With his five-month-old son screeching down the hall in response to Lily's tears, there was nothing he wanted more than to turn back time.
Emma placed Luke in his swing and took Lily's hand, gently forcing her into her pink-themed bedroom, directing her to a white stool in the corner. "Lily, you were given a warning by your Daddy and myself to start behaving instead of screaming. You didn't listen, so now you need to sit here for four minutes.
She exited at Lily's shrill protest, closing the door most of the way in need of peace. She wasn't sure what she'd been thinking the year before when she'd disposed of her medication, but clearly she didn't have the best interests of her daughter in mind.
Luke had calmed considerably in his swing, and after the afternoon they'd had, Emma felt it best to leave him to drift off to sleep and attempt speaking with Will about his day.
The joy of having a son had worn off quickly for Will and he'd all but shut down communication with Emma after July began. He threw himself into work, claiming he to redo his unit plans for every class; most nights he fell asleep on the sofa, 'working,' and didn't get back up to join his wife in bed. The tension was wearing on Emma, and she wanted to deal with their problems instead of letting them fester. Yet time and time again, Will refused.
The only time they'd been close was a single night of intimacy they spent together after Will had returned home late from a night with his father in mid July, which had him not in a sober state of mind. Emma, exhausted from the emotional strain of their thinning marriage, initiated the action, knowing her drunken husband would never refuse her, and hoping it would bring their spark back.
It had failed. By the time they'd finished, Will had returned to his mood, showered, and moved to the couch to watch TV, then ended up passing out. Emma cried for three hours, but instead of letting the depression take over, she poured her time and energy into mothering her infant.
"Hey," Emma breathed upon entering their master bedroom, watching as Will pulled a T-shirt over his head. "How, um...how as work?" He shrugged, buttoning a pair of jeans and running a belt through the loops. "Sorry you came home to that level of chaos...Lily was—"
"I've come home to it every day this week. Don't make an excuse today," He said gruffly, gripping the handle of their door, staring at her shocked expression. "I'm taking Lily back to therapy next week."
Emma's eyes went from surprise to pure anger at his statement. "Excuse me?"
"It's been a year without progress. She's only getting worse because you put your want before her need. You pulled her out of therapy, out of daycare, then threw another baby on top of the halt in her progress. She is a total disaster, Emma, and I'm not coming home one more day to that hysteria."
"You're wrong," Emma fumed, "You are completely wrong. I took her out of therapy because it made her worse, if you don't remember. And there was no need for daycare! There is plenty of socialization in preschool—"
Will opened the door and marched into his daughter's room, where her tears had dried to her face and sniffles reduced. His tone was much gentler with Lily than it had been with Emma. "It's time to go for a walk, Lil. Let's go, now."
She scurried from the naughty seat she'd been assigned to, asking if Luke would be joining them. Will shook his head, explaining the baby would be staying home with Emma.
As they walked out the front door, Emma choked on a lump of tears, completely lost as how to fix the mess she'd made.
"Daddy, I was bad at school today," Lily confessed as Will pushed her on a swing at the park.
"Oh, yeah?" He questioned, slowing the swing and moving to face his daughter. Every day that she'd been in the preschool that week had been a horror story. Monday, she'd bit Emma as the mother attempted to leave her. Tuesday she'd run out of the preschool when they attempted to finger paint, flying down the hall until a fifth grader with good timing caught her in the bathroom and convinced the four-year-old to go back to class in the form of a piggy-back ride. Wednesday, Lily threw up at circle time and Thursday she'd smacked a teacher in the arm when they attempted to help her with scissors, then crumpled up her paper and thrown herself to the floor in a fit of despair. "And what did you do that was so awful, hm?"
The redhead sniffled as she tried to avert her gaze from her father's face. "Daddy...I screamed. When Mommy dropped me off. She was trying to give me a hug and I didn't want to stay. So I started yelling and when she asked me to stop, I started kicking and gave her a booboo on her leg. I didn't mean to! It was only a accident!"
"But it happened, Lily. And you know you can't act like that when Mommy drops you off. Just because you don't want to stay doesn't mean you can throw a tantrum. Was that all that happened?"
"No," She muttered, letting a fat tear roll down her freckled cheek. "Daddy, I screamed at Miss Kaypee. And at Scottie. And then I thew a fit. I ran into the hallway and Miss Kaypee's helper had to chase me."
"Sounds like you've had a really rough day," Will sympathized with his emotionally distraught daughter, squeezing her shoulder in understanding. "What do you think made you act like this?"
"Mommy!" Lily said affirmatively, "She stays with Luke all day! He gets to be with her all the time! It's not fair, Daddy! I don't want to go to preschool! Make Luke go to school and I'll stay home with Mommy!"
"Lily," He exasperated, shaking his head. "Honey, that's no excuse." Her bottom lip quivered and Will gently pressed his thumb against her chin. "No crying. Just listen to me. Mommy has to stay home with Luke until he's bigger. Just like she stayed home with you when you were Luke's age. It's his turn now. You need to do what you're supposed to throughout the day to make it easier on Mommy. That includes going to school."
She folded her arms over her chest, pouting intensely.
"Lily." Will said sharply. "It's only been a week. You'll get in the swing of things and learn to have fun at school. But for now...I think you need to remember to keep your crying in check."
"I don't know how!" She choked, fresh tears spilling out of her chocolate eyes. "See? See, Daddy, I just started crying!" Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I don't know how to stop!"
Will pulled her into his hold, rocking her gently, standing and moving them to a bench in a quiet area. "It's going to be alright, baby. Daddy's going to get you some help so you can learn to control this, okay?"
Lily wound her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "You're the best Daddy ever."
He buried his nose in her windblown hair, inhaling the strawberry shampoo she was so fond of. "Anything for my baby girl, right?"
She sat up, kissing his nose, bringing a smile to the teacher's face. "Daddy, can we get ice cream?"
"After dinner," He responded, standing up, drying the remainder of her tears with his thumb. "How about we play for fifteen more minutes and then go home?"
"Sounds good," She nodded, scampering out of her arms and running towards the slide, shouting, "Catch me," Over her shoulder.
"Mommy, how come you and Daddy don't tuck me in together anymore?" Lily pouted as Emma pulled a plush pink blanket over the little girl's chest.
"Well," Emma sighed, raising her eyebrows and shaking her head. "Someone's got to take care of Lukie, so Daddy's doing it tonight."
Lily turned over, giving Emma her backside. "Luke ruins everything," She murmured, closing her eyes.
"Lil," The elder redhead rubbed her daughter's back, "Baby, look at me, please?"
"No!" Lily shouted. "I want Daddy!"
Emma swallowed hard; Lily rarely called for her dad when she was upset. Feeling defeated, Emma kissed her moody daughter's forehead and turned out the light despite her calls of wanting Will's attention.
The father in question exited Luke's room when he caught sight of his wife, brushing past her and into his daughter's room, where he closed the door behind him.
Emma told herself to let go of the feelings of guilt and failure that were screaming from her inner being, but it was impossible. Shedding her emotion in form of tears, she lifted a squirming Luke out of his crib, holding him against her shoulder and collapsing into the rocking chair that had belonged in Lily's nursery, its cushion now draped in a blue slipcover. Luke relaxed against her body, curling his tiny fingers around the edge of her shirt collar. Emma shook her head at his action, kissing each tiny finger softly after unlatching it. "Don't you start doing that, now...I don't know that I could handle two hysterical kids."
He cooed, opening his mouth and sucking on the fabric covering her shoulder, making Emma giggle. "Are you hungry, little man? Want Mommy to feed you?"
"Aaeao!"
"Oh yeah?" She dried her tears with the corner of a clean burp rag, then unbuttoned her cardigan so he could feed. "Here we go, baby boy..." She stroked his brownish-red hair away from his forehead, staring at her baby with content as he nursed away.
She rocked slowly, enjoying the silence, save for his suckling—
Silence. Will had gotten Lily to stop howling.
While Emma was thankful for his intervention, she resented it nonetheless. Will had clearly said something to their daughter when they were alone earlier in the day. She was determined to figure out what.
Five minutes later, Will stepped out of the former nursery, closing the door until barely a sliver was left open, then moved to the middle of his son's room, meeting his wife's eyes hotly.
"Next time, when she calls for me, you best let me see her."
Emma felt a fire swell within her stomach and she was pretty sure it wasn't due to the attraction she felt towards her husband, but from two months of pent up anger and frustration. Gently, she encouraged Luke to let off, and adjusted herself while setting him back in his crib, meeting Will with her arms crossed defensively over her chest.
"And what are you going to do if I don't?" It wasn't what she wanted to say. She didn't want to come off as aggressive. But at the point they had gotten themselves to, she didn't know what other method would be effective.
"Excuse me?"
"Will, I understand, okay?" She was soft, her tone quiet as to not stir the baby. "I get it. You're tired. Quite frankly, I'm tired, too. We had a baby we weren't ready for..." She shook her head with a little laugh. "Actually, in honesty, we had two babies we weren't ready for...but that's not the point, Will. There's something bothering you, and I know you feel like Lily hasn't made much progress, and I know you blame me for that. And that's fine. Blame me all you want. But do not drag our daughter into this."
Will looked beyond Emma as she ranted, watching as Luke attempted to sit up by himself, his five-month-old frame not quite developed enough to do so unsupported. He walked past the angry mother and lifted his son, cradling him in his hold. "I'm not discussing this, Emma. When my daughter wants my attention and my reassurance, don't deprive her of that."
"Your daughter? Will, it's not like—"
"Don't. Emma, don't make this into something it isn't. There doesn't need for the drama—"
"Well then stop creating it!" Emma demanded, glaring. "Stop being so facetious and ignoring me! I've been trying to work with you. I've respected your space. I've given you the time I thought you needed to get over...whatever this is! Will," Her voice cracked and he cast his gaze on the ceiling to keep from giving into her emotional rampage. "I just want my husband back."
Will finally looked at her face, meeting her eyes with a near growl in his voice as he hissed, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You're so different! You come home, completely ignore me, brush me off when I try and talk to you, demand that Lily goes back to therapy — somewhere you know I don't want her to go, say something to turn her against me—"
"Don't insinuate things you don't know," Will interrupted, his eyebrows lowering as he placed Luke in his bed, walking towards the door and turning out the light, indicating he was through with the conversation.
But Emma wasn't. She followed him to their bedroom, scurrying in front of him to block the entrance of their bathroom. He might have been mad at her, but Will would never dare lift a finger to move her.
"Get out of the way," He bit, shaking his head.
"No! Not until you talk to me! I don't understand what is going on, Will! Please talk to me! I don't care if you yell, or tell me everything is my fault! I don't care! Just explain to me why you feel what you do!" She was hysterical, her words coming out in high pitched breaths, but not upset enough to convince Will to back down.
"There's nothing to say. You've made it impossible for me to look at you without feeling so...so...angry! You've pushed me to the point where looking at you makes me..."
He tapered off, hoping Emma wouldn't ask, "Makes you what, Will? Makes you crazy? Welcome to my life!"
"No, not welcome to your life! This was our life. I used to look at you and want to kiss every part of your face...now I just want to leave the room and hope that I can fix Lily before I feel the same towards my own daughter!"
"She doesn't need to be fixed," Emma spoke lowly, her eyes darkening with anger as she defended her firstborn. "She needs to get better. She isn't broken."
"Then how come every god damn time I walk through the door, she's on the ground, screaming and crying? How come you can't get her to stop? How come, Emma, how come?"
"Because she doesn't understand! She just needs time to mature and—"
"No, she doesn't! If you hadn't stopped the therapy, she'd have been a perfectly normal four-year-old by now—"
"It doesn't happen overnight! In case you can't recall, it took me twenty-three years to be able to do half of what I can do now without a meltdown—"
"Because you never got help!" He shouted, grabbing hold of the hair on top of his head and whirling in a circle of anger. "Everyone catered into your habits and let you do whatever you wanted! If you'd gotten help, you'd have been fine a long time ago!"
Emma raged in response, her lips in a thin line and eyes wide with retaliation. "I didn't think I needed it! Until you came along. You changed me, Will! If you hadn't been here I would still be polishing grapes one by one. There's no way on earth I could have given birth to a baby, let alone raise it! Will," Her voice lowered as did her arms. "Will, you changed me. You made me a better person. I thought that was mutual. I thought I'd changed you for the better." She was quiet, her face downcast and voice cracking with the first signs of tears, "But now I see I've ruined you. I put too much on you. I gave you a child who's broken. And I can't fix her."
Will had no reaction to her sudden change in tone, and rapid drop of defense for herself and daughter. Since the middle of July, he had wanted nothing to do with Emma. He was done. She'd devoted her attention to their son and given into the demands of their daughter. He thought she was focused on being a parent, on having her way with raising their children. He thought he could let her. He thought he could dedicate himself to winning Teacher of the Year title back and all but forgetting the family he'd helped create. But as he saw the woman he'd married, having moved to sob on the edge of their bed because she didn't have the strength to stand any longer, her head buried in her hands, he realized he'd thought wrong.
"Emma," He attempted to speak, but her name came out as a wail and he collapsed on the bed next to her.
"I understand if you want nothing to do with me," She cried, "I'll understand. I'm a mental case who thought she'd been self-cured in a muddy field. But clearly, I'm nothing more than an anxiety-ridden loon. Who would want to live like that?" She choked, "Who would want to be married to someone who can't comfort on their own child because they're too hysterical on their own? I don't know what to do now, Will. You've got to make a decision. I've tried. I've tried, so hard, to make this work. And you want nothing to do with it. There's nothing more for me to do."
Will shook his head, trying to grasp what she said. She was giving up on them, because she thought that he had.
"I don't know what to say," He finally admitted, tossing his hands up in defeat. "I'm not looking to break up this family, if that's what you think I want. It's not, Emma."
"Why not? You clearly don't want anything to do with me. You hardly ever spend time with your son, and when you are with Lily, it's usually just to stop a meltdown. Why do you want to stay, Will?" She asked, as seriously and realistically as she could while sucking up tears.
"You're my family. I'm not just going to walk away from my family. Not now, not ever. I guess...Ignoring everything seemed better than this constant arguing. But obviously it's only made it worse. I don't know what to say beyond that. I don't know how to make it right again."
"You could start—" She sputtered, a fresh wave of tears cascading down her cheeks, "By just...just...just holding me, a-and telling me...you love me?"
When the words came from his wife's mouth, not his daughter's, Will knew he had broken her spirit. What he'd done over two months was not okay.
He would not be able to forgive himself for his selfishness.
"Emma," He managed to whisper, gathering her into his arms and moving them to lie on the bed. "I love you," His voice was hoarse, but he knew it didn't matter. She simply needed to see the words falling off his lips to believe them. "I love you."
She cried loudly, her face never leaving his chest and her fingers curled tightly around the creases in his shirt. She was not okay, and he didn't know what he could do to make her that way.
"Will," She finally spoke, her voice a level of hysteria he usually experienced from Lily, "Please...Please...I need...I need..."
He positioned them so he hovered above her, tracing her face with his hand. "Sweetheart, what is it? What do you need?" She closed her eyes, trying to calm down, trying to breathe but her attempt was in vain. "Em, is your anxiety medication in the top drawer still?" She nodded and Will scurried off of her, throwing the top drawer of the bathroom open and popping a pill into his hand. He hated that he was the reason his wife needed Xanax. Filling a glass of water, he helped Emma take the antidepressant and gulp the water down, sitting her up and talking her through breathing exercises until she appeared calm. "There we go...okay, Em...you're alright. You're alright."
The redhead placed her head on the top pillow and closed her eyes again, still breathing deeply.
A knock came to their opened door, where a concerned Lily bore worried eyebrows and her bottom lip, sucked beneath her teeth. "I heard yelling," She said quietly. "Is Mommy hurt?"
Will rubbed Emma's arm, kissing her cheek before preparing to take his daughter back to bed. "Wait..." Emma mumbled from the blankets. "Could, um..." She inhaled sharply, and Will picked up her message, lifting Lily to the mattress and silently encouraging her to snuggle up to her mother while a lonely cry from down the hall had him fetching his son.
Once the whole family was united, with a brief break for pajama changes for Will and Emma, the husband and father turned out the light and cuddled next to his wife, who had Luke sleeping soundly on her chest, with Lily nestled into her opposite side. He brushed a strand of hair off her forehead and pulled the comforter over the four of them.
"I think...we should...talk in the morning," Emma whispered, not making eye-contact with Will as she stroked Luke's spine. "With no kids here."
He nodded, fingertips playing with the straps of her nightgown. "I'll call my dad when we wake up."
The family soundly slept until the sun rose, even Luke had only stirred through the night. Lily was the first to arise, declaring that Saturday would be "Super fun day!" While bouncing her parents awake.
"Daddy, can we go to the park again today, pretty, pretty please?" She begged, sitting on his chest while Emma had stood to change Luke and prepare him a formula-based bottle after taking her anxiety medication the night before.
"Sweetie, I'm actually about to call Papa and see if you can go over to his house today."
"Oh. Well, Papa will take me!"
Will cringed. "Honey, Luke's going to go as well, so I think you'll probably have to stick to the swings in his backyard, okay?"
She pouted before shrugging, demanding, "You'll just have to take me later, Daddy," and standing to jump on the bed until Will growled, grabbing her legs, making the four-year-old shriek. He tickled her until she laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes and Emma re-entered the room with a smile while Luke downed a bottle.
"Mommy, save me!" Lily managed to say while Will attacked her belly.
"Oh, dear," Emma shook her head and Will's fingers made their assent, instead pulling his daughter into a hug.
Emma sat back down, cradling Luke while Lily stared him down. "I think that Luke should go somewhere else while I go to Papa's house."
"I think you should be nice to your baby brother," Her mother responded, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "If you would like, you may go pick an outfit out of your bottom drawer to wear today."
Lily's eyes lit up, she enjoyed matching her own clothing — like a big girl — and dashed to her pink room to get dressed. Will yawned and stretched, reaching for his cell phone to call his father, apprehensive about the conversation that would take place with Emma while the kids were away.
Once she had given Luke five hundred kisses and ensured he had more than enough bottles and diapers to make it through a few hours, Emma buckled him into her father-in-law's vehicle, nervous for her first time away from her son when he wasn't with Will. Lily of course, demanded equal attention, wanting to be buckled in last so she could 'have the best kisses! You always save the best for last!'
Will placed a hand on Emma's shoulder as his father drove away, squeezing it lightly as he swallowed hard in anticipation.
"Don't be afraid to talk to your wife," She said, turning around with a gentle smile and cupping his cheek with her hand. "I'm not mad at you, Will."
He then took her hand, guiding them toward the house and into the kitchen, where she'd prepared breakfast for them. He pulled out a stool for her before sitting on one himself, serving them both before clearing his throat and beginning what he wanted to say.
"I've been frustrated, Emma. That's the simplest way to say it. And I think I'd be lying if I said that it was all unjustifiable. I'm not trying to put the blame on you, for anything, but..." He sighed, scratching at his face for a moment before continuing, "I just really do not agree with what we're doing with Lily. She needs something more than what we're giving her, Em. Yesterday," He shook his head, "Yesterday at the park, she told me that she can't control her crying. And she wants to, but she doesn't know how. We need to give her the tools to be able to do that, and giving into every single tantrum is not the way to do that."
Emma bit her lip and kept her eyes down. "I know, Will...I just...when she cries, something inside me just...it breaks and I want to do everything I can to make her happy, to give her what she wants. I don't mean to constantly give into the tantrums, but—"
"But you do, we do...We give in and we're not helping her learn to cope. She needs to learn how to comfort herself; look at Luke! He's only five months and already he's learning how to stop his own meltdowns. The way he grabs his blanket and hides his face in it when he's crying, that's him controlling his own behavior, even if he doesn't really know what he's doing. I think that because Lily was our first, we never let her learn how to regulate her own emotions. We picked her up at the first sign of fussing, and we still do. I also know that her behavior, not just her emotions have been on the brink this past week. She's acting out at school, getting violent with you around the house...It's got to stop."
She didn't respond and Will continued. "We've got to either find some sort of parenting class and try to learn to handle it ourself, or put her back in a therapy program. Maybe not with the same woman. But something has to be done. I emailed her teacher, last night. I asked if we could set up a meeting and try to get her some services through the school. She should qualify for something." He paused to let Emma think, taking a bite of his food. "But, on a lighter note, Em..." She faced him, blinking rapidly as she was trying to control her own emotion on the subject of her daughter's anxiety. "I think that you're doing an amazing job with Luke. He's such a happy, content baby, and you're just so calm with him. I appreciate you staying home with him," Will alluded to an argument they'd had in July, when Emma wanted to return to work in the mornings while Luke stayed at a childcare center. "I think he's going to be better for it."
"I-I don't mind it...being home with Luke. He's so much easier to deal with than Lily was...I guess it also helps that I know what I'm doing this time, too."
Will nodded as they both stopped their conversation to eat. "I'm glad to hear it, Em. Really. But," He stood, clearing off his space as he was finished. "There's still one more thing we need to discuss."
"Us," Emma breathed, still finding it difficult to look at him as he spoke.
"...Yeah, that'd be it," He said, washing a pan in the sink and placing it in the drying wrack before turning back around, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. "Where are we?"
"Well, we're in the kitchen...finishing breakfast," She rolled her eyes with a smile that said she'd rather smuggle herself with their kitchen drapery than have the conversation they were about to.
"Em," He shook his head with an equally unprepared smile. "Let's just talk. Just...talk. I know that I've been horrible, and distant. I've poured all my energy into work and...neglected you. And I kind of thought that's the way you wanted things...you weren't trying to—"
"Will! No, god, no! I wanted to be with you so bad! Every night I fell asleep in tears just wishing that you'd come lie down with me," She felt tears welling up as she tried to express how she felt. "I wanted you to hold me and kiss me goodnight, but I thought that I'd really messed up. I just...I wanted to be close to you, so badly, that's why the one night...when you came back pretty drunk, I convinced you to...have sex and...when it was over you just...left the room...and I thought...I thought that I'd messed things up permanently. All I wanted was to be with you," She dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand, sniffing. "All I want is to be with you."
He stepped forward, moving her abandoned plate of breakfast food to the side, taking her hands in his, rubbing the back of them with his thumbs and leaning over the counter until his forehead touched hers. "There wasn't a point where I didn't want to be with you, Emma. I guess I just didn't know how to say what I felt."
"Can we not do the silent treatment thing anymore?" Emma questioned, nuzzling against him.
"I certainly hope so. I don't want to be angry at you, Em. I want to be able to talk out issues, like we're doing now. I don't want to look at you and think that we're falling apart."
"Then don't," Emma cried, pulling away to meet his eyes. "Don't think that, Will! We're stronger than all the frustration! We can make it through whatever it is that's going on. Please, please don't ever think that we're not going to make it. We are," She cried, "We have to."
Will whipped around the island, wrapping Emma in a hug that lifted her into a cradle hold. Wordlessly, he walked them down the hall into their bedroom and laid her on the bed, hovering over his wife with a long kiss. Her fingers found themselves tangled in his curls, holding his face to hers while tears continued to cascade down her face.
He paused to sit up, brushing the damp trails off her cheeks and kissing them both before removing his t-shirt and unbuckling his belt. "Emma...I love you. I don't want you to think I don't. I don't want you to be worried about us not making it. We will, I promise."
"Promise?" She whispered, her eyes not betraying her sensitivity and the importance of his assurance.
"I promise. I want to work on being a better husband, a better father...And what I want, here and now, is to show you that I still love you. Can I do that?"
She nodded hard and he took her eager invitation to lower himself back on top of her, finding a sensitive spot on her collar bone and nipping at it, eliciting a moan from his wife.
"I love you," Emma whispered before Will's lips descended to hers again.
He pecked her lips lightly while a hand slipped up her shirt, rubbing the curve of her side as he repeated her phrase. "I love you too, Em. I love you, too."
Emma groaned as she pulled herself up from the tile of the bathroom floor, hastily moving to the sink for mouthwash after expelling the contents of her stomach, cursing herself for having taken the Xanax the night before — it often led to nausea and vomiting for several days after the emergency dose was needed.
Will had gone to his father's house an hour previous, giving Emma time to make the family an early dinner and finish laundry before her daughter and son would demand her attention for the remainder of the night — yet as a second wave rumbled through her stomach, Emma was fairly sure she wouldn't be spending much time with either of her children.
She pulled herself together long enough to finish the meal she'd started and fold the last load of clothes, setting steaming plates of food on the table as Lily rushed into the kitchen, wearing noticeably different clothes, screeching in excitement, tackling Emma's legs.
"I missed you, Mommy!" Emma grinned, as she didn't quite feel the same, having been relieved to have a few hours without a screaming fit.
"Did you have a good time at Papa's?"
"No!" She said firmly, "Luke spat up on me!"
"That's why you're wearing something different, I see," Emma said, referring to the t-shirt and sweatpants combo that had apparently come from her father-in-law's. "Good thing you haven't grown too much since Papa stopped watching you everyday."
"Mommy, it was really yucky! I...I might have yelled at Luke."
"Might have?" The mother raised a brow. "And what did Papa do when that happened?"
Lily looked down at her feet. "He said accidents happen. And Luke didn't mean it. And it wasn't nice to yell at him."
"That's right. I know it's really gross to get thrown up on, but it happens, honey."
"I cried real bad, after, too. I had to have a bath, so Papa gave me one and found me some clothes in the closet. And I wanted to come home. But he said I had to wait."
"Oh," Emma felt a sudden burst of sympathetic emotion for her daughter and wrapped her in a hug. "I'm sorry that happened to you, sweetheart. It's okay, though, right? You're alright?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm can we play?"
"We're going to eat dinner first," She kissed Lily's temple and released her. "Go wash your hands."
Lily threw her head back, prepared to start a tantrum when Emma warned, "Do not start crying. We will play when you're all done eating. For now, I need you to wash your hands and sit at the table.
Will stood in the doorway with Luke, who was smiling and reaching for his mother. Emma took him gladly, telling her husband that dinner was ready. He quickly made up a bottle and sat down at the table, while Emma fed her son, willing her stomach to settle down so she could eat as well.
"Can you tell me one good thing that happened at Papa's?" Emma pried good news out of her daughter, who was slumped in her chair.
Lily shook her head, sticking her index and middle fingers in her mouth, clearly not in the mood to talk, or eat, it seemed, as she pushed her vegetables around her plate.
"Honey, can you take a few bites of your carrots or broccoli?" Will pleaded with her, brushing her messy hair away from her face in hope to make her look up.
"Not hungry," She muttered, jumping out of her seat and slowly leaving the room, dragging her miserable frame to her bedroom and shutting the door.
Emma watched at a loss for what to do as Luke finished his bottle. She sighed, her shoulders heaving forward. "I don't even know what to do with her."
"I think she should be alone for a little bit. She went to her room of her free will, and didn't ask for either of us to join her. Maybe she needs some time to be by herself."
The mother shrugged and repositioned her son in her lap so she could eat. Halfway through the meal, her phone rang, displaying a picture of her parents. She let it go to voicemail, receiving a concerned look from Will. "When was the last time you spoke to your mom and dad?"
"A few weeks ago," Emma shook her head, clearly frustrated. "I got into it with my dad, like always. He thinks that I'm making a bad decision by staying home with Luke. He's afraid I'm going to be depressed again, or that me taking care of Luke is going to make him have the same symptoms as Lily. I ended the conversation feeling like a failure of a mother and I have no intention of speaking to either of my parents any time soon." She was honest, having nothing to hide from Will anymore.
"Wow, Em...I don't even know what to say," Will sighed and reached out, offering to take Luke into his hold as he had finished eating. "I think he's wrong. I haven't seen any symptoms of depression from you...and if I had, they'd probably be my fault, not the baby's." He muttered, feeling guilty. "You don't feel that way, do you?"
"No, not at all," She answered truthfully. "I mean, aside from what we talked about last night, I'm actually feeling very well."
Will looked down at his son, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and bouncing him on his knee, earning an ecstatic giggle from the boy. "My dad said Lily didn't eat her lunch. She didn't touch a bite of it."
"Hm," Emma bit her bottom lip as she stared at the full, sectioned dish across from hers. "She's been really picky lately, especially at dinner. Last night I don't think she ate more than a third of what was on her plate."
"Maybe it's time for a visit with her regular doctor. When she opened the door wearing the same clothes that fit her in the spring a year and a half ago, it sort of hit me...she isn't growing, Em. Put her next to Scott, and she's a full head shorter than him."
"She was premature, though. She might not ever catch up to a normal growth curve. She's always been small...but...on the other hand," Emma blinked and shook her head. "I haven't had to buy her new clothes because she's grown out of anything...in a long time...I'll call the doctor on Monday. Did you hear back from Miss Kaypee?"
Will's eyes lit up in hope and he stood, carrying Luke to fetch his laptop, returning moments later as Emma cleared the table, wrapping Lily's plate in cellophane in case she got hungry later.
"Aieaaaaaa!" Luke hollered as Will typed his password into his email account, waiting for his inbox to load.
"Oh yeah? You're a noisy thing, aren't you?"
"Just like his Daddy," Emma giggled, returning to her seat after quickly loading the dishwasher, leaving the pans to scrub later. "Isn't that right, baby boy?"
"Aaaayeoooo!"
"I've got a reply," Will stated with a deep breath, nuzzling his nose into Luke's shoulder before reading it out loud. "Mr. Schuester, I've also taken note of the behaviors you stated concern over. I've been taking notes for the past week to show to our school psychologist. We'll probably come together as a team next week, along with her teacher from last year to talk about potential solutions. Once we've come up with something, we'll contact you and your wife for a meeting. For now, I think I'm going to set up a quiet corner, separate from time out, for Lily to go when she's having a meltdown. Hopefully this will teach her some self-soothing skills, as well as prevent the rest of the class from being disrupted. I'll speak with your wife on Monday after school to get more of an idea on how Lily acts at home. Thank you for expressing your concern. We'll be sure to get this sorted out as soon as possible."
Emma was silent as she absorbed the words, contemplating them before stating. "That all sounds extremely reasonable."
Will seemed to let out a silent sigh upon her reaction. "I agree. Maybe she'll have you writing a journal like I did for the psychologist last summer. Whatever they do, it'll be better than nothing. We're going to jump through this hurdle." He eyed the time on his computer. "Lily's been alone for almost a half hour. We should probably check on her."
He deposited Luke in an exersaucer in his bedroom before knocking softly on his daughter's door. Emma opened it slowly, surprised to find the room dark. "Lily?"
The four-year-old in question was sitting on her naughty stool in the corner of the room, head hidden in her arms. Will turned on the light and the couple approached her slowly, not wanting to disturb her.
"Honey, it's Mommy and Daddy," Emma said softly, "Can you...Lily..." Her eyes widened as she noticed long clumps of red, curly hair on the floor in front of the stool. "Honey, sweetheart," She attempted to stay calm, "Look at me, Lily."
Will also spotted the small piles of hair and shook his head, mouth open in shock. "Lily Ann, please look at us."
Her little shoulders shuddered suddenly and her head shook violently in her arms. A loud wail resounded in the room and Emma took control of the situation by lifting Lily into her arms and removing her from the room, nodding for Will to follow them to the sofa, where she sat the preschooler down, gently finger combing her curls in attempt to discover where the strands had come from. Finding a quite small, yet noticeable patch of red skin on her daughter's scalp, Emma swallowed her own tears and met Lily's distressed gaze.
"Lily, why did you pull your hair out?"
"I'm sorry!" She screeched, covering her ears and rocking back and forth. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"No, no, don't be sorry, we're not mad," Will insisted, sitting next to her and pulling her little body closer to his, only to have her slide away. "Lily, baby, it's okay. No one is mad at you. We just want to understand why you did that."
Lily shook her head, "No!"
Emma met Will's face for a sign that he knew what to do with their daughter, but he appeared just as hopeless. "What would you like us to do for you, Lily?" Emma finally settled on asking, not wanting the four-year-old to grow more distressed with their attempts at consoling her.
"Go away!"
This was a new behavior, as Lily never wanted to be left alone. She craved the attention of her parents, no matter what the situation.
"We're not going anywhere," Will stated firmly. "We're going to help you, Lily."
"No help!" She threw her arm out, hitting Will in the chest, causing Emma to leap into action, grabbing Lily's arm with a light grip.
"We do not hit in this house," She said sharply. "Ever. Even if we're upset. We do not hit. Do you understand me?"
Lily squeezed her eyes shut and began screaming again, her face growing an angry red as she struggled to wrestle her wrist free. "Let go!"
Not giving in to the power struggle, Emma knelt taller and used her free hand to tip Lily's face down to meet her own. "Open your eyes and look at me, Lily."
"No!"
"Lily Ann," Will warned, "Listen to Mommy when she's speaking to you. Open your eyes, now."
"No!"
Neither parent knew what to do, but thankfully they didn't have to figure it out as Lily finally opened her eyes, red from crying, to meet Emma's. "Mommy, you don't love me," She whispered.
Emma released her arm and chin, then wound both her arms around the middle of her little girl. "Lily, I love you unconditionally. I love you if you cry, I love you if you scream, and I even love you if you pull your hair out. But sweetie, I need you to tell me why you did that."
There were five minutes of silence until Lily finally answered the question, with her mother's arms still warm around her waist. "I had to."
"You had to pull your hair out?" Will questioned, trying to understand. "Why did you have to do it?"
"I had to."
"Did your head tell you to do it?" Emma asked, making the girl shrug. "Did your fingers just feel like they had to do it?" Again, another shrug and Lily squirmed out of her embrace, trying to crawl off the couch before being caught by Will and emitting another ear-piercing scream.
"Let go!" She commanded, kicking her legs furiously, but was met with no compliance as Will held her struggling body tightly, kissing the top of her head and whispering nonsense until her breathing evened out and her eyes dropped.
Emma finally stood up, shaking her head in defeat. "How about a bath, Lily?"
The four-year-old agreed for the first time that evening, accepting her mother's hand and following her down the hall. Will paused in Luke's room to ensure that the baby was content, rolling the round entertainment device into the master bedroom so he could keep an eye on his son and be present for his daughter in case another strange meltdown occurred in the bathtub. "No Luke!" Lily shouted when catching sight of her little brother while Emma undressed her and the water ran warm, with a capful of a soothing scented bubble bath.
"He's not going to come in here," Will assured her. "He's just going to hang out so he doesn't get lonely by himself."
"No!" Lily whined as Emma turned off the water and deposited the girl into the bath tub, where she splashed the water bitterly.
Will whispered that he was going to clean up the hair off of Lily's floor, and the mother asked him to take a picture and save the strands so they had proof when they talked to someone about the issue.
"Will do," He said softly, passing Luke with a silent prayer that they would never have to face the same issues with him.
"Mommy, I want to go to sleep!" Lily cried as Emma worked shampoo into her thick curls.
"Honey, when we're all done here, you may go to sleep. We'll brush your teeth and do a story—"
"No story! Just sleep!"
Emma bit her lip. The little girl in the bathtub was hardly a shadow of her daughter.
Nearly an hour later, after three additional tantrums and Will's failed attempt to get Lily to eat again, the four-year-old had fallen asleep on the love seat in her parent's bedroom, where the couple left her, intending on moving her into their bed so they would know if she woke up during the night.
Emma gave Luke a bath and fed him before putting him down in his crib, where he went without a fuss. She kissed him and whispered, "Thank you for being such a good baby," Before turning out his light and closing the door most of the way.
Will caught her in a long, much needed hug as she stepped out of the blue room, crying into his chest. He cried, too, and they held one another for the better part of ten minutes until Emma felt a lurch in her stomach and moved swiftly to the bathroom hallway to throw up.
Her husband joined her in the bathroom, pulling her hair into a fist and rubbing her back.
"You okay?" He questioned when she finished, earning a nod as she swished her mouth out before answering.
"I will be. I was sick when you left to get the kids, I think from the Xanax. This was probably just because I'm so overwhelmed...Will," Emma shook her head, admitting to herself what she should have long ago. "Lily is sick. She's really, really sick."
"If it happens again before we can get her to the doctor...I think we should take her to the emergency room. Whatever that was," He referred to the zip-lock bag of red curls on the counter, "It was not a normal meltdown. That behavior is dangerous, Emma. It was just hair this time...but thinking it could get worse? That's terrifying."
Emma continued throwing up throughout Sunday and into Monday morning. Will insisted she stay home and he would leave during his second hour prep to take Lily to preschool, that she'd just have to sit quietly in his room until that time. Emma protested, but as another wave of nausea hit her, she agreed, promising to call the pediatrician when their office opened at eight.
It was a battle getting Lily ready, as Sunday had been nothing but hysteria and tears. Will was now breaking her delicate morning routine and as he buckled her crying body into her car seat, he was beyond thankful that Emma would have a few hours of peace at home to hopefully recover while Lily stayed at school. He didn't care if she spent the entire day in her corner crying. He just knew that both he and his wife needed a break from the preschooler.
He entered the building with Lily crying into his shoulder and he stopped in the office to explain to his principal why he had the four-year-old with him in the first place.
She didn't react when the Indian man greeted her with a jolly, "Oh, Lily-flower! How are you my beautiful girl?"
"We're having some difficulties," Will admitted, receiving an understanding nod from Figgins, who was aware of the girl's mental condition. "Emma's been throwing up all morning and I didn't want her to have to deal with his. I hope you don't mind, she'll just sit through first hour, and I'll drop her off real quick—"
"Daddy, no!" Lily shrieked suddenly, aware of the conversation. "No, I don't want to go to school!"
She cried loudly, throwing her head back, only stopping, suddenly, with wide eyes when a resounding, "Shut that kid up, good lord!" Echoed through the office.
Will's eyes grew in size as well. That overbearing, commanding voice only belonged to one person.
He whipped his head around to see a tall blonde walking with a smirk towards him. "The key is making them fear you. Making them actually believe you just might," She reached a hand in Lily's direction, making the four-year-old flinch, "Hurt them. Children need to be frightened. It helps them learn their place."
"Sue...what the hell are you doing here?" Will hissed, not caring about swearing in front of his daughter.
"Come off it, William, I'm obviously not here to destroy you and your precious Glee club, since you failed that adventure without even needing my interference."
"You aren't allowed to teach anymore!"
"Oh, yes I am. Figgy, you haven't told our friend here about my new position?"
Figgins cringed and Lily scrambled out of Will's arms to hide behind his back, clutching his pant legs tightly. "William, Sue is now the acting head of the foreign language department."
"What the hell—?"
"Watch your language in front of the kid, please," Sue said with mock concern for the preschooler who was trembling in fear. "Although I'm not shocked to find you failing as a parent, just like you've failed in every—"
Will stood and was prepared to push Sue through the window if she dared make a comment about Lily. Thankfully, Figgins stepped in the middle of the long-time enemies. "Will, Sue has a formal letter from the governor reinstating her as a teacher. She has a new teaching certificate and after viewing her credentials, and since Mrs. Ramarez so suddenly passed away last month, the board of ed was forced to rehire her, and after a brief campaign, announce her position of authority."
"What does she have on them? What does she have on you? This is total bullsh—"
"Will! I won't ask again!" Sue demanded, eyes glued to Lily. "Please, do not use such harsh words in front of the innocent! Think of the children."
"She doesn't even speak another language!" Will shouted at Figgins, pointing to Sue with angry eyes.
"Au contraire," The former cheerleading coach contradicted his statement. "I'm fluent in French and the lost language of Elamite. I'm sure you've never heard of it, so allow me to explain, that Elamite was the language of the Persian Empire at the time when Alexander the Great was in charge. I learned this culture when studying for special forces to become a commanding officer. It was learning from one conquering champion to another. I know you've got one language on me, as you speak English, Spanish, are fluent in the sounds of aerosol hairspray, and failure, but—"
"Alright, Sue," Figgins pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, William, I know this change is going to be a bit disruptive for you, but it's something you've got to deal with. It's out of my hands."
"Isn't it always," The Spanish teacher said darkly, This isn't over," Will warned, lifting Lily into his arms where she molded to him. "I will not stand for this kind of injustice in this school."
He stormed out of the room, but not before Sue mumbled. "It's like looking at a tiny, pathetic, baby monkey on display at the zoo for the first time," In regard to Lily's frightened demeanor.
"That's it," Will shouted, turning on his heel, prepared to take his nemesis down for good when Figgins guided him out the door.
"Take Lily to your classroom and take time for both of you to calm down before your first class. We'll discuss this later."
In a move of fury, Will kicked the door open and marched down the hallway with a scowl he'd never worn before on his face.
"Daddy!" Lily cried when they entered his room. "I want to go home!"
"Me too," He whispered, putting her down on his desk while he threw himself into the chair, his head in his hands. "I want to go home too, baby."
"Oh, gosh," Miss Kaypee's expression was unreadable as Will told her about Lily's hair pulling. "I'm going to call our psychologist right now, and I want you to explain this to her so we can try and resolve it right away. We certainly don't want a four-year-old hurting herself."
Lily had seated herself on the floor of the hallway, her arms crossed, refusing to go into her classroom as her father and teacher spoke in low tones a few feet away from her.
"Baby, come here," Will said with open arms as the preschool teacher made a few phone calls. "Lily, now."
"No!" She shouted, scurrying to her feet and taking off running down the hall. Will, not one to give into a chase but not wanting to find out where his daughter intended on heading, tore off after her, catching her small, argumentative frame before she could turn the corner. She let out a blood-curdling scream and flailed her limbs, nearly giving Will a black eye as she fought against him.
Miss Kaypee grimaced as she returned to the hallway, motioning for the Schuester clan to follow her.
Lily yelled the entire way to the office, pushing against her father's chest and kicking his legs.
When they finally entered the room, the psychologist met Will's eyes in understanding and motioned for him to have a seat.
"Hello, Lily," The woman started off with a friendly greeting. "Do you remember me from last year? I'm Mrs. Riley."
"Go away!" The redhead screamed, continuing to kick her legs in anger.
"Mr. Schuester, it's obvious that this is a serious meltdown, yes?"
"Yes," Will sighed as Miss Kaypee locked the door so he could let Lily go. She threw herself to the floor and attempted to open the door, pounding it with her tiny fists when it wouldn't budge. "Up until last week, a meltdown meant she wanted my wife or I to hold her, to be with her, not to leave her...now she can't wait to get away from us, and..." He pulled out his phone, showing Mrs. Riley the pile of hair from two nights previous. "Saturday she pulled her hair out."
"Alright, this is quite serious, then...I have her notes from last year, and just skimming through them, I noted that she was on an SSRI? Is she still taking that?"
"No," Will responded, watching Lily fall to the floor and throw her head back. "It was only for about six weeks."
"Did it help?"
"I think it helped with her PTSD symptoms. She got over the car accident within that time. She'll still tell us to 'drive safely' quite often, but not like she was."
"It was a very low dose, so I doubt it helped the other parts of her anxiety. In any case, I'd like to have more of a chance to observe her behavior in the classroom before I do too much with her. I'm sure you've filled out some home reports before?" Will nodded. "I'll be sending something specific home with her today. My suggestion for the hair pulling would be to watch and see if it's an isolated incident. It could have been just a fluke thing, it's hard to say. We'll just have to keep a close watch on her. Once we start a regular therapy program, whatever that may be, we'll be able to target that behavior specifically, if it continues."
"I just don't understand...where she got the idea from and what possessed her to do it in the first place," Will sighed, pleading for answers.
Lily began kicking at the door rhythmically as the psychologist answered. "Hair picking is a nervous disorder, which isn't uncommon among kids with anxiety. It's more popular with adults, but Lily's issues aren't really typical in children in the first place. As for where she got the idea...it was probably just a neurological impulse. There's no reason for it. Especially for a four-year-old, whom I'm assuming hasn't been exposed to anything that would probe mutilation."
"God, no," Will shook his head as his daughter appeared to finally be giving up beating the door down, slumping to the floor indignantly.
"As I said, we'll monitor it. I'm going to spend the morning in Miss Kaypee's room taking notes on her behavior. I'll speak to you or your wife in the morning tomorrow when you drop her off."
"My wife was going to call her pediatrician today, too. We've noticed that she isn't...growing. She refuses to eat most of the time, and she's still wearing clothes from the spring before last."
Mrs. Riley took a long look at the tiny preschooler. "That could be attributed to her anxiety as well. Emotional state affects the physical development of children. If she's emotionally unstable, she's likely to flatline physically from the psychosocial aspect of her growth. The good news is, once we've got her on the right track mentally, the rest of her will catch up in no time."
Will stood and lifted the exhausted Lily into his arms, kissing her cheek, surprised that after all her struggling, she leaned into him, snuggling her face into his chest.
"Thank you, Mrs. Riley. I'm glad that you'll be helping us get to the bottom of this. Come on, Lily, let's go to your class."
Her eyes shot open and her head flew backwards in a primal cry. "No!" Her legs twitched, prepared to kick, but Will caught them with one hand while she remained supported on his side with the other.
"That's enough, sweetie," He said, surprised that he had any amount of patience left. He deposited her to Miss Kaypee, promising that he loved her and that Emma would be picking her up, then left the building and sat in his car.
He cried for half an hour before driving back to work.
When Will arrived home that afternoon, his house was suspiciously quiet.
Feeling a sense of panic, he moved through the hallway, stopping first at Lily's room to find it empty, then to Luke's to find the baby sleeping soundly in his crib.
Finally, he walked with urgency to the master bedroom, where Lily was asleep on his bed and the bathroom door was shut. He knocked quietly, not wanting to disturb his emotional daughter, and pushed back the wood to find Emma sitting on the floor with her head resting on her arms, much like Lily had been two days previous.
"Em? What—what's wrong?" He was afraid to ask, not sure if he could physically handle any more stress than he'd already been given.
"I'm sorry," She cried. "I'm so sorry."
"For what?" He cupped her head and stroked her damp cheeks. "What happened?"
"L-look...at the...the counter. I wasn't...I wasn't trying. It shouldn't have...have been possible, I don't know...what...how...I, I'm so sorry, Will."
He swallowed hard as his eyes fell onto three separate, white sticks, resting on paper towel. They all presented him with the same horrifying message. In the back of his mind, he registered Emma continuing to apologize, but he couldn't comprehend her words as he stared numbly before him.
"Emma...what the hell are we going to do?"
She clutched a hand around her stomach as she cried. "I don't know," She muttered.
Will sank down next to her on the tile, staring into the light and willing himself to wake up from the nightmare that was his life.
Emma turned her face towards his and gave him the most apologetic expression she could muster. "I'm so sorry, Will. This is the last thing we need right now. Where are we going to put another baby? How are we going to afford it? What if it's like Lily—?"
Will didn't know how to put her mind at ease with his words. Instead, he reached into her lap, took her right hand in his left and squeezed it tight.
Thank you for joining me in the continuation of the Beautiful series! Be prepared for some angst! Also a big thank you to jaymafans and tenseconds for helping me with this, and be sure to check out tenseconds' AU fic Rescue Me because it is so damn addicting!
I hope you can stick with the story even through it's angst! I promise there will be some lighter moments in the next chapter. Also, if you are interested, there is a link to an OC character list in my profile page. Unfortunately I've had to create a vast amount of them as RIB have given us little to work with in regard to outside Wemma's world at school. If you're trying to recall who someone is, just take a look there!
Thanks again for reading! A new chapter is already finished, and it is full of surprises; including a heartbreaking decision for Will and Emma, along with Sue's true intentions! Check back in a week or so!