Author's Note: I wrote this story as a present to my good friend for his birthday. We had been playing Dwarf Fortress over the course of a few months, and this is the combined history of our two fortress attempts. We often nickname our dwarves after people in our lives, including ourselves, but with a few exceptions, I mostly kept their names in a sort of dwarvish-sounding realm. I hope you enjoy, friend.
Trofost Brekuinn, Leader of Fortress Ancient Relics.
10 Granite, Year 120.
My name is Trofost, but very few close friends call me Trish. It is a childhood nickname from when I fell in a river and nearly drowned, and when I resurfaced among the waves, they said I looked like a fish, sputtering and gagging. Trovost… fish…Trish.
I am leader of a small band of dwarves traveling south from the Mountain Homes to establish a new fortress for our people. The seven of us are a solid and sturdy bunch, fond of drink and industry.
After days of traveling, our company has found fertile land at the edge of a mountain. Much of my small group is unaccustomed to being out in the sunshine for so long, or at all, so I've endured much grumbling. If not for my friend Sigun, I would probably lose my mind.
At the first sight of this mountain, it was decided we would settle down. Honestly, I could not stand to hear another complaint about how bright it is outside, how much everything smells too sweet, and how few plump helmets there are on the surface. I hope I have made the right decision in choosing to lead this group. They seem like a big lot of moaners. I pray to Drogan this goes well.
12 Granite, Year 120
The miners are the only dwarves worth keeping in this damned place, them and Sigun, who everyone has started calling Andy for Drogan knows why. He has been helping me measure out spaces for the small herd of us that has stationed ourselves in the shadow of this great mountain. The fortress is but a hill of dirt for now, really, but I have big dreams, and with Sigun's help, we will make something grand, I know it.
17 Granite, Year 120
I have taken upon myself the duties and responsibilities of carpenter, as well as leader. Normally doing a majority of the work would irritate me profoundly, but I've found the carving and creation of beds to be a great comfort to me in times of stress. Sigun has found a home in the militia, training himself to protect us all. He will excel at this, as he was a superior axedwarf back in the Mountain Homes.
The walls and floors are still dirt, but everyone has a place to sleep, and eat. They spend much of their spare time drinking and eating in the dark, however, despite the perfectly nice benches I created for them in the mess hall. We have well-made lanterns, traded to us from those knife-earred weirdos, and yet every time I go in my office, there is someone sitting there in the dark doing Drogan knows what.
The liaison from the Mountain Homes will reach us in one months' time… To say I am nervous of what he will think of our lot is an understatement.
20 Granite, Year 120
I have finally convinced the savage horde to migrate their eating habits from my office to the mess hall. Once that plump helmet farm gets rolling, I will be golden.
25 Granite, Year 120
These idiots have started using the water shoot that feeds that underground farms as a water slide. Sigun and I have started a betting pool with one of the miners, Chan, on who will break a bone first. I think Sigun is right- it will be Mat.
28 Granite, Year 120
Mat broke an ankle, and also somehow managed to injure a child in the process of going down the slide, so Sigun has boarded up the entrance to the water shoot. I am hopeful everyone's laziness will win out over the fun they had ruining the plump helmet farm with their fat feet.
2 Slate, Year 120
I received word today that a new horde of morons is coming to stay with us within the month. Just when I have everyone set up with a simple job they can perform, Sigun and I have to train up a new batch of dumb dumbs. He says the worst case scenario is they can dig around the lower floors for minerals, as our new mountain fortress is sorrowfully lacking in fine gems.
10 Slate, Year 120
One of our fellows, Dhanpo, has petitioned me to start what she calls a cat club. I told her she is welcomed to collect all the stray felines she wants, but their main employ is to be mousers, and she should not keep them from that noble quest. The last thing we need is this fortress overrun with rats so our Chief Medical Dwarf can cuddle the little fuzzballs.
Personally, I would prefer if she spent her time fixing people's injuries.
15 Slate, Year 120
The farms are producing as we march steadily on. I have written to my brother back in the Mountain Homes, but received no reply. I wouldn't be surprised if my family has forsaken me completely. They were never the adventurous sort.
I'm still having issues keeping people out of my office at strange times, but I suppose it could be worse… They could want to hang out in my bedroom.
22 Slate, Year 120
There are giant bird people constantly hanging around the entrance to the fortress, annoying many of the wood cutters and fishermen, and scaring some of the other women. Their flapping is extremely obnoxious, with feathers and loud whooshing noises outside all day long.
Sigun tells me they are called the Kea People. When I asked how he knew that, he told me he has killed 15 of them already while out hunting. He wants help in creating a pillow from the feathers he's collected.
Serves them right.
3 Felsite, Year 120
With our first group of refugees, Sigun has a proper militia of two now. The new recruit, Jack, is quite skilled with a hammer, and he uses it… at every opportunity. Sigun had me construct beds for them in the training room so Jack's hammer would drive the rest of the fortress insane.
Whenever I go to visit Sigun on my breaks from woodworking, they are sparring together. It's quite humorous to watch them wrestle about, as large as they both are. Sigun has become quite beastly in size, with giant braided sideburns. If we were still in the Mountain Homes, he would have hordes of women beating down his door. Needless to say, the Kea People have stopped loitering outside.
18 Felsite, Year 120
I'm kept very busy making beds, tables, chairs, cabinets, and wooden balls. Chan has become quite the formidable wheeler and dealer when the caravans roll into town. She sells the useless (though well-made) wooden balls I spend my days creating to the dwarvan and human caravans for six times what they're worth. Brilliant, though I worry with this new wealth we'll also attract goblins, lurking and sneaking.
I thought perhaps I hated stupidity more than anything, as we have it in abundance here, but no. I hate goblins much more, though they do smell better than our average fortress goer. Simple hygiene is unfortunately lost in our new backwoods mountain home.
25 Hematite, Year 120
The liaison from the Mountain Homes arrived a few days ago and I have been running around the fortress like a turkey with my head cut off trying to keep him busy. He follows me everywhere, constantly asking questions.
"Tell me, Trofost… are there plans to upgrade the accomdations on the first floor? I know the fortress is but a few months old, but I find the dirt a bit of a letdown, I'm afraid."
"And you create these beds yourself, Trofost? Exquisite craftsdwarfship."
"Trofost, tell me about these wooden balls you are creating."
Oh, these wooden balls? These spiky wooden balls I'm creating right here in my workshop? They're for clobbering you over the head, Urvan Jorahansenn.
Sigun finds it hilarious that this idiot follows me about incessantly. He says I am at a find marrying age, and I should think of settling down, and a liaison is quite worldly and blah blah blah. Drogan help me, I'll add his name to the Dwarves Who Need to Get Hit with a Wooden Ball list next.
3 Malachite, Year 120
In an effort to escape Urvan, I have begun work on a latch door system on the empty room near the militia's training area. The project is the brain child of Sigun, called Let Slip the Dogs of War. The general idea is that when the fortress is threatened (the fear of Goblins is ever-present, especially by those who work outside on occasion) the latch system will be activated and the war dogs will stream out of the door and attack. That is the theory, anyway.
I mainly agreed to this scheme because Zon, one of our war dogs, just had a litter of tiny war puppies.
19 Malachite, Year 120
A new batch of homeless dwarves has come to the fortress from the Mountain Homes. None of them appear to have any useful skills, though they at least smell better than the last batch.
21 Malachite, Year 120
I have seen Sigun having meals with one of the girls from the new caravan of homeless dwarves. She has pretty brown hair and large liquid eyes, much like a cow. She seems nice enough.
25 Malachite, Year 120
I haven't seen Sigun for a few days. He is having relations with Uni, the cow girl, I bet. Good for him, though I find myself immensely jealous. The only person who would have relations with me is Urvad, that obnoxious liaison, and I would rather use a plump helmet as a sex partner than that halfwit.
28 Malachite, Year 120
Nath, one of the newer dwarves to the fortress, has taken on the responsibility of counting our dwindling rations. I think it is probably more useful for him to continue to brew beer for the masses, but he has been quite insistent (and loud) about this being a very important skill he would like to develop.
I've had the miners carve out a side room for him to work in so he would stop hanging about my office asking.
30 Malachite, Year 120
Sigun asked me to be a witness at his wedding in 3 days. A whirlwind courtship, he is quite in love with Uni, the cow girl. (I suppose I need to stop referring to her as that soon, as she will soon be my best friend's wife.) I am creating a large wooden wardrobe for them as a wedding gift. It's made of highwood and inlaid with ribbons of galena. Uni spends much of her time in their now-shared room, so I hope she likes it well enough.
2 Galena, Year 120
The wedding is today. Sigun looks very handsome in wedding clothes. I don't remember the last time I saw him out of armor or those funny togas they wrestle in for sparring practice. Chan and Dhanpo braided his beard and hair, and decorated Uni's hair with wildflowers. I think it terrified Dhanpo to go outside to collect them.
We're having the reception in the new mess hall. The miners just finished engraving and setting up all the new tables and chairs I made for it. Chan decorated the walls just for the occasion, and it seems like the whole fortress is coming out for the wedding.
2 Galena, Year 120
I cannot stop crying and stuffing my face with plump helmet soufflé. I have never seen Sigun so happy.
Urvad keeps trying to cuddle up to me at the reception, whispering about secret trade treaties. I want to stab him with a fork.
3 Galena, Year 120
Sigun told me Uni loved the wardrobe and it is the nicest object they have in their room. She's already filled it with shoes and outfits. He gave me a big hug that nearly broke a rib, though I did not tell him that. He is jolly and smiling like I have only seen him after he kills something. His beard and sideburns are still braided from the wedding.
10 Galena, Year 120
I've heard rumors of some kobold snatchers from one of the llama herders, Rayla. She said she saw one tussling with the Kea People. I hope they kill each other.
11 Galena, Year 120
I've doubled my work on the door latch, but Sigun assures me he and Jack could handle any gobs that thought we were an easy mark. The rumors make me very nervous, though.
Urvad has finally finished his "trade treaty" and will be leaving in the next day or so. Small mercies, I suppose.
13 Galena, Year 120
FREEDOM! MY OFFICE IS MY OWN AGAIN.
I danced on my chair in celebration and broke the damn thing. I have a bruised tailbone now, Dhanpo tells me. She gave me a pink bandage for my scraped elbow and sent me on my way.
Sigun brought me the head of a giant badger he caught and killed. He had it stuffed by Dom, one of the dwarves we have slaughtering turkeys. Sigun's going to help me hang it on the wall behind my desk.
I'm going to name it Urvad the Halfwit.
16 Limestone, Year 120
One of our dwarves has been taken by a strange mood. Big Toe Joe, a nickname he received for having the largest feet in the fortress, has barricaded himself in the weapons workshop. He came to my office, babbled off a list of supplies and wandered back out before taking over the workshop. Nothing good can come from this.
24 Limestone, Year 120
Joe made a turkey bone dagger. Apparently once it was finished, he rushed straight to my workshop, wild eyed and out of breath, shoving the dagger towards me (which was more than a little disconcerting, I'll tell you.)
"It's engraved with bands of fine pewter and menaces with spikes of nickel!"
"Yes, Joe, well, menace it somewhere else, huh? And take this bed with you on your way out."
Why in Drogan's name Joe thinks I would care about that when I'm up to my elbows in handcrafted wooden balls that menace with their own spikes is beyond me.
5 Sandstone, Year 120
It's beginning to get cold out, and the farmers and herders are complaining of a lack of warm clothing. The dwarven caravan will be here soon (and Urvad with them, blast it) so we can trade these wooden balls for more llamas. Rayla has shown an interest in learning to knit sweaters from their wool, so here's hoping that will keep their grumbles to a bare minimum.
16 Sandstone, Year 120
Urvad is not with them, it's a new dwarf liaison named Lokum. He isn't entranced with my every move, thank Drogan, but he and his compatriots still pay 5 times the going price for these useless wooden balls. Chan could sell them their own goods for double the price, I'd bet.
The war dogs project is finally complete. Sigun has talked about building an archery tower in the courtyard before the snows set in, but we shall see. The new floors still need lots of work, and I would prefer if everyone focused on collecting and growing food for the winter months ahead. I can tell Sigun is bored though, and simply wants to hunt again.
24 Timber, Year 120
Two dwarves are pregnant, one of them Sigun's wife Uni. Good for them. Personally, I hope it's a boy. We could use more farmhands. Or brewers. These dwarves drink like it's the first day of Minedirons every damn day.
Our numbers have swelled to 50 dwarves, all told. Most have very few skills, and only a handful are skilled at anything useful like mining or carpentry or smithing, but I'm confident we'll get there. Before the winter is over, I expect we'll find a few more dwarves are with child.
13 Moonstone, Year 120
The snow is thick against our doors, keeping everyone inside. We even had to bring the grazing animals into the courtyard to shelter them from the freezing winds.
Time is ticking by slowly, with everyone becoming restless for excitement. Luckily for me, my assistant Dorcas brought in tons of wood blocks before we were snowed in, so I have plenty to keep me busy. Sigun tells me he is going to brave the cold to hunt snow rabbits. His plan is to make a new pair of rabbit fur shoes for his beloved.
25 Moonstone, Year 120
Human thieves attempted to break into our open-air courtyard this evening whilst the majority of the fortress enjoyed the Droganmas festivities that Dhanpo, Chan and Rayla set up for them. Luckily Sigun was spoiling for a fight anyway, and dispatched the four of them with his giant axe. Jack helped him carry the bodies to the trash pile, and nobody in the fortress, save myself, was any the wiser. I imagine the humans were looking for a place to stay, but sadly for them, this is not that place.
Sigun got me a badger claw necklace for Droganmas. I made him a headboard engraved with him decapitating a giant Kea bird with his axe. He likes it very much.
4 Opal, Year 121
One of Dhanpo's many cats had kittens, so the living area is a giant mewling mess. I told her to take the lot of them to the room where we keep the goats and turkeys, but she's worried the goats will eat the kittens. (Goats do not eat turkeys, why would they eat kittens?)
The tiny mewing is bound to drive me insane. My new room cannot be done soon enough.
17 Opal, Year 121
Kobold snatchers invaded the fortress, with one actually escaping with a small llama. Luckily they did not take anything of more value, like one of our dwarven children. Sigun caught one of the kobolds, but we were unable to get much information out of him before he succumbed to his wounds. Who speaks whatever low tongue those filthy lizard people speak anyway?
23 Obsidian, Year 121
My new room is finally finished! It's four times the size of my old bedroom, and I've made a double sized bed, with two dressers and a magnificent highwood cabinet. It's a bit opulent for just me, I'll admit, but I have been feeling a touch lonely lately, what with many of the dwarves pairing off and such.
Sigun came to visit me- not many of the other dwarves have assigned rooms on this floor yet so visitors are very few- and helped me break in my new beds by jumping on them with me. It reminded me of when we were children living in the Mountain Homes.
I'm thinking of carving the headboard into something fantastic, but I have not been inspired lately.
26 Obsidian, Year 121
Another litter of kittens has been born. I want to tell Dhanpo to keep the males and females apart, as soon we'll have more cats than dwarves. One of them has adopted me, I think, and slinks about my room like he owns it.
I'm going to call him Bomrek, after our greatest dwarven leader.
2 Granite, Year 121
Uni is dead. I hadn't noticed, but she had apparently shut herself into Sigun's room for the last month or so, writing cryptic things on the wall with a large bit of charcoal. Dhanpo surmised she had been possessed by a fell mood, and when Sigun entered the room to greet her, she attacked him. His defensive training was too strong, and he raised his axe, cleaving her in two. Blood pooled into the hallway… I cannot imagine a worse way to go.
Sigun is beside himself with grief. The loss of a spouse is unbelievably hard for dwarvenkind, and the fact that he accidentally… well, I am unsure of what to do to help. My best friend is in pain… I am keeping him up to his eyeballs in drink, but I worry that isn't enough to soothe.
I am engraving a coffin for Uni tomorrow with all of the flowers she liked. We must bury her quickly, as I fear she will begin to haunt the fortress, due to the tragic and violent nature of her death.
8 Granite, Year 121
Uni's funeral was today. It was a closed coffin. Sigun has stayed in my room with me the last few nights. I don't think it's good for him to be alone. I wish I could ease the pain he's feeling, but I have never known what it feels like to love someone as much as he loved Uni, so it is difficult to understand what he needs right now. For now, it is lots of dwarven wine.
29 Granite, Year 121
Sigun has returned to the militia barracks after a few weeks of staying with me. I think he is feeling better, but it is hard to tell. Since the snows have subsided, he has started hunting every morning. We have an abundance of dried squirrel meat to make our way through… enough to last until probably next spring.
10 Slate, Year 121
Another batch of kobold snatchers invaded the fortress today. Vile scum. Sigun has started work with one of my carpentry assistants to build the archery towers he has been drawing up plans for.
12 Slate, Year 121
Kea people continue to hang around the front courtyard. I'm unsure of how sentient they are as creatures, but I think they are looking for some sort of protection from the snatchers. I won't have them killed if they mind their manners, but one annoyed dwarf will ensure their swift demise.
13 Slate, Year 121
Sigun killed all the Kea people. I collected a bunch of feathers for the pillows in my room.
17 Slate, Year 121
I have been feeling quite under the weather lately. Perhaps it is bird flu. I had Sigun burn the pillows.
29 Slate, 121
The next caravan as come, bringing with it all of the llamas I requested last fall. I'll have Mat shorn them down and Rayla can begin knitting the sweaters as soon as possible.
3 Felsite, Year 121
More kobolds have come, this time with archers. We completed the archery tower just in time, and skewered the lot of them. Kobold pincushions. That ought to make them think twice before they try to siege this fortress again.
18 Felsite, Year 121
A refugee from the north happened upon our fortress this evening. He goes by the name Kentos, and tells us he is the lone survivor from a fortress fifteen miles to the northeast. The fortress was completely overrun by a "monster" that had a great spike on its head and shot webs every which way. I asked Ketos if it was a spider, maybe a giant spider, as those are quite common, but he claims it looked much more prehistoric, "like a dinosaur".
I've had him put in one of the rooms that we can lock from the outside, in case we find him to be mentally unstable and dangerous to the rest of the group.
20 Felsite, Year 121
Kentos is still rambling about the dinosaur web shooter to whoever will listen. He also demands plump helmets at all hours of the night.
Get them yourself, dwarf. We aren't your servants.
25 Felsite, Year 121
Sigun has pushed a pair of trousers under the frame of Kentos door. He can't get out, and we can't hear him. We're hopeful a little fasting will help him learn to accept the quietude of our fortress.
4 Hematite, Year 121
Kentos has taken our 'hints' and has quieted down significantly. We briefed him on the fortresses' different traps, drawbridges, and other machinations that we use for safety. (I did not mention the Let Slip the Dogs of War project, though. Some things should remain secrets, in my opinion.) He seemed very appreciative that we take safety more serious than those poor souls lost at his previous dwellings.
Rayla volunteered to bring meals to him, so I believe she may have spoken to him and gotten him to soften up to our way of doing things. He's certainly much quieter and more amiable in mixed company. Chan is still weary, and refuses to share any of our brewed goodies with him. I don't blame her.
28 Hematite, Year 121
I've started creating large wooden statues as a hobby. Until a new batch of dwarves come from the Mountain Homes, I'll continue to work on the statues since no new beds are needed.
I completed a statue of a pig last week, and have begun work on a llama for the courtyard. Sigun likes my statues, and paints happy faces on them when I'm done carving. It's quite sweet.
It is good to see him in better spirits now. He keeps himself very busy, training up the three new recruits that volunteered in the aftermath of Kentos coming upon the fortress. Fear is an excellent motivator, it would seem. Sometimes when I am bored or lonely, I go down to the training area and watch them throw each other around the room for a while.
16 Malachite, Year 121
Rayla told me today she believes she is pregnant. She is very excited, though I don't see why. She is unmarried, and I know it was that weirdo Kentos she has a soft spot for. I suppose we could use new blood around the fortress, and at least she's quite skilled, otherwise I'd worry we're just breeding the idiocy right back in.
23 Malachite, Year 121
Bomrek is getting quite fat. He's a smart cat, and has somehow tricked the small kittens from Dhanpo's room into bringing him dead rats from around the fortress. He is not living up to his name, the lazy ball of fuzz.
1 Galena, Year 121
A new group showed up alongside the human caravan. 10 new dwarves. I'm scheduling them with Chan and Mat to learn how to swing a pick and brew a plump helmet. Those are simple but infinitely important jobs they could do.
Everyone here is very fond of their drink, so we could always use more beer brewers. If only they were a little more fond of their industry…
25 Galena, Year 121
One of the new guys, Derc, somehow lit one of the farms on fire. How do you even…?
You know what? I don't want to know. I am surrounded by idiots.
8 Limestone, Year 121
It's getting cold rather early this year. Rayla is teaching me how to knit so I can make a blanket for myself. I might also make one for Sigun for Droganmas. I'm horrid at it so far, but we have an abundance of llama wool, so hopefully I can make something worthy of a present by the time Moonstone rolls around.
Rayla is knitting a tiny blanket for her unborn child. It is gray with flowers. I am making a lumpy gray lump. I'm hopeful I can learn how to knit an axe shape so Droganmas isn't a complete disaster.
21 Limestone, Year 121
The militia is a hefty 6 people now! Jack and Sigun are still the only ones worth their weight in power, but at least we have some meat shields we can use for fodder if the kobolds get… bold.
6 Sandstone, Year 121
Goblin snatchers killed a llama this afternoon. It was that sweet spotted one I would visit sometimes, too. She had the softest fur…
Sigun has been sharpening all the axes in the armory since we discovered the corpse.
18 Sandstone, Year 121
Two more llamas were murdered, and Dhanpo found one of her kittens in the courtyard, its' head smashed in. She is devastated. We are holding a funeral for "Humphrey" tomorrow evening. The entire fortress is on edge, especially Sigun. I can sense it when we take meals together.
I hope he doesn't think this is a reflection of the militia. The Clan of Beards is the finest group of axe and hammer dwarves I've ever seen formed, and he and Jack are doing a wonderful job with them. I hate to see either of them stress over this goblin business. I should be the only one worrying about it…
31 Sandstone, Year 121
Tonight we carved pumpkins in celebration of Armok's Eve. I made mine have a big silly grin. It is the only smiling I'll be doing if these goblins don't let up.
10 Timber, Year 121
A strange creature attacked the fortress this morning. Jack and Sigun went out, despite my rather panicky protestations, and Jack punched the monster right in the face, killing it instantly.
Upon closer inspection, we found it was a minotaur, which I'd only ever read about in books back in the Mountain Homes. The whole thing is quite strange- the body of a large human, and the head of a giant cow. It's very ugly, and smells horrid.
We put the corpse near the trash pile for burning. Disgusting.
2 Moonstone, Year 121
Another Droganmas is nearing, and my knitting skills have become quite formidable. I am very excited to start work on Sigun's gift. It is going to be a very large blanket with two crossed axes. His bed in the barracks is rather barren, and he doesn't enjoy staying in his bedroom very often as the objects remind him on Uni, so I thought it would be good to make the barracks a bit more homey for him. I hope he likes it.
13 Moonstone, Year 121
Rayla is getting quite large. Her baby will probably be born soon.
17 Moonstone, Year 121
While I should be excited for the coming holidays, I find myself plagued by uncomfortable and lonely thoughts often. I have some friends, but it feels as if the entire fortress is pairing off… Even Chan has taken a lover.
Perhaps it is my position as leader. I can see how people would find that intimidating, perhaps.
25 Moonstone, Year 121
Sigun cooked a lovely meal as his present to me for Droganmas. Rabbit stew and baked biscuits. Biscuits are one of my favorite foods, but the wheat is very difficult to grow, especially underground where we keep the majority of our farms. I cannot imagine the trouble he went to to do this for me. What a wonderful friend.
He liked his blanket a great deal, giving me a giant hug. He hung it on the wall above his bed as a decoration.
3 Opal, Year 122
Goblins are sieging the bloody fortress. We've lost Jack already, and a dwarf everyone calls Fish, who ran out into the melee to try to retrieve Jack's body. Sigun wants to fight with them, but I am worried for everyone's safety. I've locked the doors. I don't even want to send the dogs out.
I'm sure after a few days they will become bored or distracted by a passing butterfly and leave.
5 Opal, Year 122
Sigun went out. He killed three of the filthy gobs before they took him down. He's dead.
I'm lost.
7 Opal, Year 122
The goblins have left, their pound of flesh extracted.
I have cried for two days straight and have no more tears left in my entire body. I am hollow. I have failed my friend, my fortress. I have no reason to go on. I will only get more dwarves killed.
9 Opal, Year 122
We buried Sigun and the others today. I laid his axe blanket over his coffin as they pushed it into the tomb we have constructed for the fallen. Kentos is penning a sonnet about the fight. He asked me how to spell Andy.
I want to stab him with a fork.
15 Opal, Year 122
I've stopped taking meals. I've lost a lot of weight. I don't know what to do. I love Sigun, and I feel like my heart has been torn from my chest. I should have told him so many things when he was alive and now he is gone. So many are gone.
NK, Rayla, Chan and others have tried to lure me out of my room, but I don't want to go. I can't leave. I can't see anyone. I am broken. Only Bomrek can see me now. I bury my face in his fur and cry for hours. He doesn't seem to mind.
? Opal, Year 122
I have lost track of the days. Everything is gray. Armok guide me, I don't want to live in this agony. I have that turkey bone dagger Joe made. I keep it locked in my cabinet, but what is one more death now?
? Opal, Year 122
NK broke down my door. Kentos, Rayla, Chan, Dhanpo… they were all there. I am a mess. They forced me into the bath. I haven't bathed in Drogan knows how long… they were saying things to me, but I didn't know what to reply. I miss Sigun so much.
? Opal?, Year 122
I visited Sigun's tomb today and sat beside it for a few hours, carving some wooden animals.
12 Obsidian, Year 122
NK is running the fortress while I recover. I was taken by a strange mood, made an immaculate coffin that menaces with spikes of opal, and passed out in my workshop.
I believe I made my own coffin.
28 Granite, Year 122
Rayla had her son last month. He is very cute for a baby. Big pink cheeks and blonde fuzz on his head. She has named him Sigun. I couldn't help but cry when she brought the little bundle into my office.
I knit him a small woolen badger to play with. Rayla tells me he sleeps with it.
15 Slate, Year 122
I am retiring as leader of the fortress at the end of this week. I believe NK will do a fine job. He has a good way of motivating the laziest of our brethren into actually doing their jobs. In my retirement, I plan on working in the courtyard. I want to complete some more statues… and maybe start a garden. I have found flowers to be a pleasant distraction from my inner turmoil.
I am beginning to find peace. Though I still miss him dearly, Sigun would not want me to be unhappy, and would not want to know he was at the nexus of my unhappiness should it occur. I will try to do my best and live well by his memory.
Rest in Peace, my friend. You are missed every day, and will be remembered always.