A/N New story. Just some an idea floating around. This is going to be a little of a darker side of Edward. One who isnt so Victorian but still has the same struggle of doing what right while battling his demons...The demons will almost always win in this case.

Academia

EPoV

Want…

How long had it been since I'd actually wanted anything? Needs yes…I had needs…needs that had be met for the sake of simple survival but want…to actually want….this was foreign to me.

This was the 10th night in a row of my watching her. The longest stretch so far and she was completely oblivious to this fact because she was sound asleep.

To say aloud what actually brought me back here every night would have painted me a fool. The very idea of my…wants…was utterly ridiculous yet there I was again…and there she was…and there she was. Apparently someone did know why I was there.

"What do you want Alice?" I whispered towards the window. If I could hear her snickering from a half mile away then I knew she could hear me.

"Just seeing what you were up to little brother. Jazz and Em are off hunting…Carlisle and Esme are um…occupado…and Rosalie…well…I was bored. What are you doing?"

Like she didn't already know. Reaching over I slid the window up just as she glided in, landing lightly on her toes. My sister, the pixie, looked around the room before her eyes zeroed on my sleeping Bella and I could see what she saw through her thoughts. Bella in the middle of her bed curled up in fetal position. Her long brown hair was strewn across her face covering most of it; only her tiny mouth visible.

Taunting me.

"I'm surprised she doesn't realize you've been coming here…her room reeks of you. What are you doing? Marking your territory?" Alice laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed. She landed so lightly the normally noisy mattress didn't even squeak.

"This is a little rude you know. Us standing in the middle of her room talking while she's asleep. Maybe…maybe you should go," I told her as I sat back in the rocker. It squeaked under the bulk of my weight at the same time that Bella sighed and rolled over. Alice froze; glancing over her shoulder to see if Bella was woken up by the noise and relaxed when her mouth fell open.

"Don't worry…you could bring a marching band in here and it wouldn't wake her up. She sleeps like…"

"The dead?" Alice finished my sentence raising her eyebrow at me. We sat in an uncomfortable silence while she waited for the shudders to finish running through my body.

Alice laid back on the bed and I leaned forward ready to tear her away. I couldn't stand to see anyone this close to her, let alone one of us, but Alice was laughing in her head so I knew she's teasing me.

"Do you do this Edward? Do you come and lay by her side while she's sleeping?" Alice leaned her head up, mocking me with her eyebrow arched.

"No! Are you out of your mind? I just watch Alice. I just watch and listen. She talks in her sleep and since I can't hear her thoughts…I wait to see if she says anything about us."

"Sure… that's the only reason." Alice rolled her eyes and moved to the other side in the room in an almost invisible movement to Bella's closet. I was torn between watching her and watching Bella. It was late…rather early…and the time when she was the most somniloquent.

The early morning sun peeked through her windows, the rays catching her face. I was rendered breathless for a moment. She was by far the most beautiful girl I've ever seen…even when she's asleep and drooling.

"So when are you going to tell her you're in love with her already?" I jerk my head towards Alice but my eyes are still on Bella.

"Why on earth would I tell her something like that?"

"Because it's true," she answered laughing.

"Is not. I'm just curious that's all. If there were someone's future that you couldn't see wouldn't you want to be around that person to see if you can find a way past them…well that's all I'm doing."

"If there were someone I couldn't see I'd probably want to stay as far away from them as possible. I wouldn't want to get them on my bad side…which is what you're gonna do if you don't talk to her. She already thinks you hate her."

"That's impossible….I could never."

Alice narrowed her eyes at me and moved back towards the window. "You're playing with fire here remember that…and you're not the only one that's gonna get burned in this. I'll support you in any decision you make but remember…curiosity kills the cat…or in this case…the human."

"Why do you think I haven't talked to her?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders, swinging her legs out the window. Her fingers gripped the ledge as she stared outside into the distance…my distance. A smile stretched across her face and she turned back to me with twinkling eyes.

"Never mind what I said. Just be careful."

"Before you go…do they…do any of them know…where I am?" I didn't really want to know the answer. I had hoped to avoid ever having to ask by breaking my dirty habit of following Bella, of coming to watch her while she slept, of wanting her, before anyone had the chance to call me on it. But as I had failed at many things in this life…I had failed at this too. I was, admittedly, obsessed with her.

It wasn't just her blood that called to me like nothing ever had or the silence of her mind; she was my siren in more ways than one. It was her eyes, those deep chocolate pools that so clearly displayed her every emotion. They haunted me. Bella had unknowingly wrapped herself around my every thought. Even if it wasn't my own. Everything always led me back to her.

"No." Alice answered so casually she was actually looking at her fingernails. "No one knows but me. They think you've been off over-eating so you can bear to be in school with her, or running from here to Canada every night to keep yourself occupied. Emmett suggested off masturbating somewhere which isn't all that false."

"I don't-" I started to defend myself but Alice cut me off.

"I was kidding. Anyway don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. I'm not going to tell anyone….that is unless I see some reason too."

"And do you?" I cringed as her mind quickly ran through numerous visions she had before she shut me out.

Alice sighed, turning her attention back out the window. "I see a lot of things Edward but they keep changing so I'm not gonna waste my time reporting every little thing to you. Once you make a decision I'll let you know what I see, but you already know that."

With that she was gone leaving me in a sort of mental limbo. How was I supposed to make a decision when all of this…was so new to me? I had no more idea about what I was doing than I had about what was running through Bella's dreams at the moment.

Slumping backing into the rocking chair, I listened as Bella's heart rate sped up and she rolled over onto her back. Her feet kicked at the blankets until one of her beautiful pale legs was free and hung from the side of the bed. Every fiber in my body wanted to touch that leg. To run my fingers along its muscle and feel it's soft skin beneath my fingertips but, of course, I remind myself that my wants were unfeasible.

"Edward?" Bella whispered and I froze for a moment. If I had any color in my cheeks it would have been a puddle beneath my feet. I thought while I was fantasizing she had woken up.

"So beautiful…" she whispered and raised her hands as if she was running her fingers over something. My body moved across the floor like there was a leash around my neck until my face was mere millimeters from her touch. I could feel the heat from her skin raising the fine hairs of my face and I wanted so bad to push into her hand.

"Please…kiss me," she whined and in a moment of clarity I saw that my wants had instantly turned into a need. I needed her…and if my straining erection were any indication…more than I would have liked to admit.

Charlie's alarm clock blared down the hall. He would come in to wake her up in a few minutes but I couldn't seem to tear myself away. The rise and fall of Bella's chest had me entranced and the way my name sounded being whispered from her lips carried my coherent thoughts away to things I only permitted myself to think about in absolute privacy but I needed to go. Charlie's footsteps were only getting louder as mine were retreating towards the window.

There was a change of clothes folded neatly in my front seat when I climb into my car around the corner with a little note saying "Don't worry. Rose will drive."

"You know…If I didn't know any better, I'd say our boy has a little crush on her." Emmett bumped my shoulder, as he bent to sit in one of the plastic chairs that surrounded the lunch table. I briefly considered pulling it from underneath him but wouldn't have an explanation for the giant hole in the floor so I just growled at him instead.

"Oh leave him alone, would you Emmett? He's just developed some morbid curiosity that's all," Rosalie chided, "I'm so sick of hearing about this. It's been weeks. He doesn't even talk to her…what makes you think he actually likes her?"

"Look at the way he's staring at her."

"It definitely jungle fever," Jasper threw in. This of course turned into the two of them singing the song and even though I knew it wouldn't help, I covered my ears, just to give them the hint I didn't want to listen to their stupidity.

"If you two don't shut the hell up," I sneered, turning to them "I swear I'm going to-" I had to stop breathing for a moment. Bella's scent overwhelmed me and I felt venom rush into my mouth. Swallowing it back, I noticed each of my siblings eyes turned a shade darker as she came closer.

Um Edward, I think you've got company, Alice thought at me.

"Um…Edward? Could I…could I uh…talk to you for a moment?" Her voice was quiet and shy in a way that made me feel guilty.

"Sure Bella," I answered getting up from the table and doing my best to smile in a warm friendly way. She stepped back, giving me room and then nodded towards the doors leading out of the cafeteria. I held my hand up, motioning for her to walk a head of me. "After you."

Alice shoved my books into my hands as I passed her glaring at me you. I'm watching you! Don't do…or say anything stupid.

I shrugged her off, jogging to catch up with Bella who was already out the door. It was pouring raining, as usual, when I stepped outside. Bella was next to the door with her back pressed against the wall, her eyes staring off into the woods.

"Penny for your thoughts Bella?" I half smiled at her at not meaning to. She gasped and her eyes rolled around in her head like she was trying to focus on anything other than my face.

"Um…yea…I wanted to…ask you…" she stuttered and then said more firmly, "I wanted to ask you something." She turned to stare into my eyes defiantly, like she was proving to herself that she could, but now it was me that was uncomfortable. I turned my back easing against the wall as she had and stared at my feet. Those eyes man….

"What did I do to you? Why won't you talk to me?"

Her words came out in a rush and I could smell the blood rising to her face. I peeked up at her from under my lashes, holding my breath, hoping she didn't notice. There was venom leaking into my mouth that I was trying to swallow but at the same time I was trying to keep from growling at my brothers.

Of course they could hear everything she was saying; they were only on the other side of the wall.

"What are you talking about Bella? I'm talking to you now aren't I? I turned my eyes up to hers and she staggered backwards, catching her balance by reaching for the wall. "And I talk to you in class don't I?"

She was clearly dazzled though I hadn't exactly meant to do that to her. Really, I was trying to be nice. Show her that I was a friendly but again…I reiterate…situation new to me.

"You…do…but what I'm saying is…You…you…you know…I can feel you…" she closed her eyes, shook her head, and turned, falling against the wall again. "You know it's really hard to talk to you when you look at me like that."

Nice going smooth operator, Emmett thought from the other side of the wall. I ignored him, waiting patiently as the Bella caught her breath. Each heartbeat pounded loudly in my ears until she calmed and its soft melodic thudding returned to normal. It all started to sound like music in my ears, notes on the bass end of a piano, deep and sensual.

"What I meant is that you don't talk to me outside of class yet you sort of stare at me all the time- and not that I'm trying to call you a creep or anything- but what gives?"

"I like you."

So enthralled by the rhythm of her heart, I hadn't even realized I'd said it until the beat soared and Emmett was screaming "See! I told you! Now pay up!"

"Oh."

"Oh?" I asked, sound a little more peeved than I had meant to. "Oh? That's all you have to say is Oh?"

She stared at me, with a blank face, blinking and then reached out to grab my hand which I inconspicuously pulled away and shoved into my jacket pocket. If there had been a rock in front of me I probably would have kicked it.

Of all the lousy way to react to someone telling you they like you, especially when that person knows for a fact that you'd been dreaming about them…

"I just wasn't expecting you to say that. It was...honestly…the last thing I would have expected to come out of you mouth. My first day here you looked like you wanted to kill me?"

"That was your first day…there have been plenty of days for my feelings to change."

Just as she was about to open her mouth to respond the bell rang, startling her out of whatever she was about to say. She looked around nervously for a moment and then turned her eyes to the door, grabbing for the handle.

"Okay then…I guess in that case, walk me to class?" She smiled, letting half her hair fall into her face. I could still that her eyes were looking down at the ground and the slight pink tinge on her cheeks as she leaned forward to grab her bag from the ground. I beat her to it, hooking it on my index finger, and then remembering that a normal teenage boy shouldn't be able to do that, grabbed the strap and heaved it over my shoulder.

"After you, Bella."

There was a slight tremble in her frame, which for a moment, brought my mind to elsewhere. I pictured myself exhaling slowly across her skin, watching her body react before my lips touched her.

The sound of the other students' thoughts bombarding my brain distracted me from my lewd thoughts as we walked through the halls. Bella was silent, from the look on her face as uncomfortable as I was. My siblings were just fine with being on the spotlight amongst the student body –none of them were single- I on the other hand had been called a pretentious snob more times then I cared for. Not that I really cared what any of them thought about me, but it was still annoying. Now, as I walked beside Bella, it wasn't the thoughts that were directed at me that irked my nerves. It was all the catty thoughts directed at her.

"Was that as weird for you as it was for me?" Bella slid onto the stool, her eyes watching me as I moved behind her then sat at her side. "I felt like everyone was watching us."

"That's because they were. I don't really get around with girls in this school?"

"Oh, why's that?"

"None of them are particularly interesting," I answered nonchalantly.

She laughed under her breath, pulling her hands between her knees. "You find me interesting?"

"Quite interesting to be honest." And beautiful, honest, the embodiment of good, the only glimmer of sunshine in my eternal darkness, I added mentally by smiling at her.

"Oh yea, and just what is so interesting about me?" She looked at me dead on. I was choked up by the intensity of the curiosity in her eyes.

"If you don't know then you don't see yourself clearly." I had unconsciously leaned in towards her. Our faces only inches apart. Staring into her eyes had somehow blocked out the other voices in my head. Her branding stick scent clawed its way down my throat but there was hint of something new that stirred up desires other than my thirst. I felt my jeans getting tighter and twisted to the side to hide what I knew was about to come up.

The bell finally rang and Bella smiled turning her attention to the front of the class. I focused my attention on relaxing myself, looking at her out of the corner of my eyes, pretending to pay attention. If she noticed, she didn't let on. She sat there, a serene look on face, like she'd accomplished something, and when the bell rang she reached for her bag even though I already had it in my hand and started towards the door.

"I guess you're walking me to my next class then?"

"Is that an objection? Or are you just doing that girly thing where you pretend not to expect me to even though we both know you'd be in a sour mood if I didn't."

She looked honestly offend. "Neither…geez. Our next classes are in opposite directions. You'll be late if you walk me to class."

"I don't mind." I was already moving out the door when she jogged up behind me.

"But what if I didn't want you to walk me to class?"

"Too late, I'm already doing it and I think it would be a little rude of you to stop me now. It's not like I do this for everyone you know," I teased. "Besides, my car is this way. I'm cutting out early."

Bella stopped in her tracks, grabbing my wrist before I had a chance to stop her. I looked at her hand on me, momentarily reveling in the touch I'd only hours before been pained to feel, before my temperature registered in her brain and she recoiled, staring at her hand like she'd just been burn and then up to my face.

"You're so..so"

"Late," I snapped, shoving her her bag. "I have…someplace else to be."

"Edward wait!" Bella called out behind me but I was half way down the hall already, moving faster than I normally would. I could hear her sneakers skidding on the linoleum, the huffs of air as she bumped into people trying to reach me.

My wrist still burned where she touched it touched it. Not a painful burning. Pleasant… warm. Making feel that absurd want again. Making me feel the need I'd never known.

I spent hours running laps in the forest, taking out my frustrations on the little deer. Now I really had to watch my ass. No..human was that cold and it only took her seconds to realize something was wrong. Mere seconds, squashing whatever little daydreams my ever-running brain had conjured up in the short hour that it took for everything to take a turn for the worse.

"Are you going back tonight?"

"Of course I am. I have to now don't I. I have to know what she thinks," I sneered. Alice had snuck up on me, hanging upside down from the tree I was sitting under. I loved her but she could be so annoying sometimes.

"You could always ask her tomorrow…or next week. Tell her you were sick."

"She's not stupid Alice. You should have seen her face. It was like her eyeballs had Vampire written on them when she looked at me."

"Oh, now you're just being ridiculous and you know that. Quite being a fraidy-cat would you? I really think this would be good for you…in fact we all do."

"Would it be good for me if I killed her? Would any of you think it would be a good thing if I lost control and ripped her throat out?"

"First off, quit being so morbid," she scolded, twisting out of the tree and landing almost soundlessly next to me. "And second-off, or second of all….whichever…I think you're reading far to deep into what happened. So she touched you…big deal. It's not like she's going to figure out our big secret just from touching your wrist for two seconds. Besides, she's not the only human to have ever touched you and Carlisle touches people all the time. I love you Edward but you can be such a drama queen sometimes." She sank down Indian-style next to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"And you can be a real pain in the ass," I said glaring at her from the corners of my eyes.

"But you love me nonetheless so there!" She stuck her tongue out at blowing a raspberry in my direction. Tiny drops of her candy-scented venom splattered across my face and I pulled back gagging in disgust. Her twinkling laughter filled the air around us, her thoughts occupying both our brains for the moment.

Bella and I sitting on her back porch in the rain, a thick blanket covering our laps. My hands aren't visible but I can see movement beneath the blanket and Bella's face is flushed a deep red. Just the thought of her blushing sent my venom rushing. My face is buried in the curve of her neck and her small hands are gripping my arm.

Alice barked out a laugh and moved to stand up. "Looks like your not so distant future is going to be pretty busy. You better get a head start now and get back to her house."

"You're crude."

"And you're horny, or didn't you realize that's what all your 'strange emotions' were."

Again if I could have blushed I would have. I pride myself on being discreet but I had been planning to have a conversation with Carlisle on what I could do to curb my urges. The usual 12 laps around the town limits just weren't cutting it anymore. It doesn't help that even through the concrete walls anyone of my family members can hear the slightest rustle of clothing. One of Emmett's favorite pastimes is trying to "catch me in the act" of relieving my frustrations so even if I wanted too, no place was safe for me to have at it.

"That conversation is supposed to be private between me and Carlisle. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep the details to yourself."

"Then…that means I have something to hold over your head does it not?"

I growled, reading her thoughts before she had the chance to speak. She planned to use her little tidbit of information as leverage to get me to go and see Bella.

"That's evil."

"It's for your own good," she said with a smile and an unnecessary cartwheel.

"I won't talk to him then," I sneered thinking I'd beat her at her own game.

Her thoughts rushed at me again. This time I wasn't a vision per say, just an explicit visual picture of Bella's swollen lips pressed against mine, her bare legs wrapped around my waist as we lay in the grass of my meadow. Needless to say that her pants and mine were in a pile next to us.

That want ripped through my body again, this time so strong it actually shook me.

"Oh, yea…You're going to go talk to him…Or else you're going to POP!" Alice's lips puckered on the P's. She then showed me all the ways she'd envisioned Emmett making my life hell.

"Fine, I'll go talk to her," I said shaking my head in acquiescence.

"Now?"

"Not now. Tomorrow."

"Nope. Tomorrow will never do. We'll be hiking tomorrow. So you're going to talk to her now."

"What do you want me to do…just ring her doorbell?"

Alice smiled as if the answer were just that simple and so was I. "Yes stupid. Ring her doorbell and ask to speak to her properly instead of sneaking in to her window like a stalker creep." She laughed as she pulled me to my feet and I fought the urge to knock her down.

"Fine I'm going. But I have no idea what you're expecting me to say to her."

"You can start with I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier."

I nodded and both of us took on in a sprint, her back to the house and me back to my car where in the passenger seat sat a single red rose compliments of my meddling sister.

The drive back to Bella's was a short one. The whole time I twirled the rose between my thumb and index finger, letting the foremost part of my attentions focus on what the hell I was going to say.

I expected my nerves to be all over the place, here I was the bloodthirsty vampire heading towards the innocent maidens house in hopes to lure into the darkness with me. I laughed because it sounded like some lame story out of a crappy B-list horror film, but the reality was what I wanted was something as innocent as her.

All I wanted was to just talk her. See her smile and laugh at my awful jokes. I wanted to be a normal teenager for a moment and take her to the movies. The picture of Bella and I sitting side by side in a dark room, our fingers linked together made me think of the other things most people did in movie theaters.

Okay, so maybe all my wants weren't all that innocent but the fact remained that once I realized that there was something else from her that I desired, I mentally no longer wished to kill her. Physically my body still reacted to an onslaught of her scent with a craving that killed me to be quenched but mentally, I wanted something else.

Pulling on to Bella's street my nerves calmed but my instincts went out of whack. The smell of musty dog flooded my nostrils and I stopped breathing for a moment long enough to get my senses under control. The steady stream of thoughts from Bella's house grabbed at my attention, and I snapped to just into to see Bella walking out of her house behind it.

It turned, grabbing her in its arms and I almost shot out of the car to rip its head off. But she laughed like she was having a good time and kissed its cheek.

"See you tomorrow Jake," I heard her say. She smiled, ear to ear and took a step back into the doorway.

"Yea, see you tomorrow Bells. Night Charlie," this Jake called, waving to her father. As my car crept closer it's back stiffened. It whipped around to look at me, our eyes locking through the dark tints of my windows. With hidden irritation he pushed Bella back in the house and closed the door, whipping around to face me.

Fighting a werewolf in the front of Bella's house before I even had a chance to explain to her what I was didn't seem like it would make a very good impression on her. I popped a U-turn and sped off just as he was reaching the street.

It wasn't anger that clenched my insides into knots. It wasn't fear for her safety or mine either. The pup didn't scare me in anyway whatsoever and she seemed to know him. She was comfortable with him. She hugged him…kissed him…

And that's when I knew what this new feeling was. Jealous rage. Eating at me, that I couldn't be the monster she loved.

I wanted to punch something. Namely Alice…right in the head.

My sister meddled in my business far too much.

A/N So what did you think?