Ok lets get a couple things straight... picking me nose XD
2.I don't own anything in this story!
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Well... that's all
Hello, my names Leon and im randomly here with no plot because the writer is to lazy to think of one for this parody thought Leon to himself. "Yo, who are really? Said the first police men driving the gigantic duck. "I`m a Russian spy... uh I mean i`m a American" said Leon. Thirty three minutes later they pulled up to a big shoe with a door and a window on it. "Alright, here's were the mean old hag from the retarded story lives" said the second cop guy " go kill her" "yes sir" said Leon. He stepped off the duck and heard his cell phone rang, he took it from his pocket and pressed the on button "hello?" "I hope you have room for my fist cuz im gonna shuv in yo stomach" Leon heard the rugged voice say and before he could ask how it was the other cell phone click off. Oh well he shrugged as he entered the rotting shoe. A moment later he saw a old women reading a book about pies and without a word he shot her right between the eyes. He turned around an heard one of the cops say something he ran outside an saw that they were getting dragged unconscious over to couple of bushes. Next thing he knew he heard footsteps and turned around and saw the granny was walking really slowly over to him "crap" he said as he jumped through the widow he remembered. He got up and saw four granny's walking over to him with pitchforks cooking knives and magazines about sexy bikinis. F#ck said Leon as he ran over to the dead police officers in the bush. He took a hand grenade off the first cop, pulled the pin and chucked the hand grenade at the enemies and in a few seconds they blew up in a mushroom cloud of smoke. "Well... that was easier than I thought it would" sighed Leon. He looked around and didn't see the duck he drove to get here and then he looked at the trail he didn't come from..."sh#t" he breathed. About fifteen minutes later (walking on the trail he didn't come from) he found a big gate " this is gonna suck he said to himself" he took a big breath an entered the gates. On the other side he saw a bunch rotting houses each one had a window with pies cooling on them. He looked to the left and saw a sign that said hi welcome to the pie village oh and your about to get ambushed :D. And then he heard a bunch of doors sling open and a lot of old husky voices yell at him. He got his 9mm out of his pocket and started shooting but quickly he ran out of ammunition. "Oh sh#t burgers" he said as he ran into a two story house with a picture of a turtle on the door. He locked the door behind him and looked around and saw a box and it said break me with a stick. Without saying anything he found a stick that was placed conveniently right next to the pikichu, and hit the box with it. He picked up a box of happy pappy handgun ammunition. Quickly he reloaded his 9mm handgun and a moment later the old people busted in with the help of an old guy with a chainsaw. "Oh how come I couldn't hear that chainsaw" said Leon panicking. At that moment he shot the chainsaw's gas tank and all the old geezers blew up. Before he could do a little dance because he won boss, a ear blasting sound came up... but this was no ordinary song... he was being Rick Rolled! The noise horrible he put his hands over his ears but it didn't help and soon he was unconscious on the ground. Later he woke up at another rotting house with a tv on and it had blues clues on really low volume. He got up really slowly and found some handgun ammunition, he reached were his pocket was and figured out that they stole his 9mm handgun. M#th#r f#ck#rs he muttered under his breath. Just then his cell phone rang and took it out of his pocket and pressed the on button "hello" "hey your mom has the but the size of a walrus" "who the f#ck are you" "Saddler and you`ll never find me loser!" said the voice on the other said of the phone and before Leon could curse at saddler the other man turned his phone off. At that moment he heard a voice call him he turned around and saw that a man in a robe with a bunch of guns but soon he noticed it was the merchant from the game manual "whatcha buyin stranger" the old guy in the robe said huskily. "Can I buy a knife?" "Sure" the merchant said as he handed him a free jewel in crested knife "this ones on the house because I got to much of them". "Thanks" he said as he cut the merchants throat and killed him "oh look what I've gone an done oh well better take some weapons". At the end he ended up with a 12gauge pump action, a full auto tmp, a rocket launcher, a really powerful handgun and a first aid spray. "Ok nothing here`s left for me he said opening another gigantic fence. On the other side there were granny`s every were "crap". As he ran to the entrance at the end of the field (while shooting granny`s) "damn it`s locked it looks like a emblem shaped like me trying to open a locked door" Leon said as the granny`s were closing in on him. He shot a couple of them and kicked the door down "well that worked" he said to himself as he ran into a gigantic weird looking plate of spaghetti. On the other side he found out that there was a trail. He followed it for about five minutes until he ended up right in front of another house except this one, it wasn't rotting heck it was nice, real nice! He entered the two story nice house and looked around but saw nothing so he entered the hall and got grabbed by a big man by the neck. He got strangled for about five seconds and then the big man let him go. I would strangle you to death if the writer of this story allowed me to but he wont so get ready for the first boss fight with me in one or two stories "oh yeah" said Leon grabbing his rocket launcher and killed (or blew up) the big man. These were his last words, "oh f#ck you creator you lazy sack of shi..." and then he died a not so sad death. After that Leon took a key out of his pocket and after a while of looking around the village he found that the key went to a room inside one of the churches storage rooms and found the presidents daughter. Well lets just say that you wont ever hear from her ever again. In that room he found another key which took him out of the village and that's all from this chapter because I feel like stopping.
I hoped you people liked the first story of re4 parody and don't forget to review this story and check out my profile.
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Hungryman8