Temple Bar

An: Just a little something, enjoy.

Dim lights, nicotine smell, squeaky tables, a smoky atmosphere; the usual ambience at a Piano Bar. Too bad they are almost extinct here in Seattle; fucking law that prohibits smoking in public places.

I've had develop a habit during the last three years, apart from smoking and forgetting dialogues when the god-dam hangovers appeared. The Piano lessons my mum made me take with Melanie while in elementary school have pay off, they have help me to cope with some issues.

So every other Saturday I'd come here and take the stage on open mic night, like right now. I sit behind the grand piano and start playing a soft jazz melody, eyes closed, and voice full of what could be mistaken as passion but it's really resentment.

Sarà foschia
Ben oltre la marea
Sarà o no
Più tempo per noi?

Che parlo con Dio
Solo se ascolti tu
Si io te lo dirò
In qualche angolo a Temple Bar

Solo per noi
Da Grafton a Ormond Quay
Ricorderai
Il tempo in cui ti amai

Che piango con Dio
Te lo racconterò
Quando ritornerò
Con te a Temple Bar

Stringendoti un pò
Come allora a Temple Bar
E ti ruberò
Un lieve "Ti amo" e poi
Risentimento e poi sgomento
Rabbia e dopo il vento
Urlano...di
Ci pensi più...a noi
Tra la foschia di Temple Bar"

I finish the song and stand slowly, as usual the few people that are still here at this time give a round of applause. I walk towards the bar and Shay, the bartender serves me a drink. He says its courtesy of someone sitting on the far table near the door, I shrug. Nothing new. Probably some random guy that thinks he can get into my pants showing that kind of courtesy. He'll be coming closer soon full of expectation, hopping to heal his grief and I'll have to tell him to fuck off.

I sip my drink slowly, lost in thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I've been here half of my life, alone with no exit asking myself the same recurrent question over and over again without getting a different response. Perhaps I should try changing the question because I'm fully aware that if I'm looking for a different outcome I should perhaps paraphrase it, but still I don't. I blame my stubbornness for it.

Why did everything narrowed down to this?

Another sip of my drink descends down my throat, and someone sits adjacent to me. I just keep my carefree composure without taking a glance to my right or anything, holding my glass with my left hand and playing with the blue straw with the right one.

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the monotonous conversation the person besides me will try to sustain with me, and a familiar aroma bring back memories that should better stay imprisoned in the far corners of my mind.

"Hi…"

That familiar voice, I turn my head slightly and close my eyes. Maybe my restless mind its playing tricks on me; insomnia does that kind of things to people, make them hallucinate.

I open them again, it wasn't an illusion. She's sitting here in all her glory. Pink-ish glossy-full lips, big-brown orbits meeting my lifeless blue eyes, long-dark-silky-wavy hair falling over her shoulders.

"Hi…" that's all I manage to spell out, still in disbelieve.

I turn my whole body along with the chair so that I'm facing her completely; she offers me that same sweetest poisonous smile she gave me back then.

"Lovely song" she comments. I nod.

She opens a purse she's holding and drags out a box of cigarettes, takes out two white sticks and handles me one. I can't help but stare as she places one between her parted lips, lights it and breaths in the smoke. Fallow act I mimic her actions.

"What are you doing here?" I spat out without further ado, exhaling the misty substance out my lungs. She crosses her legs, showing a little skin due to the shortness of her skirt.

"I've been trying to reach you for a while now and you won't answer my calls, emails, letter, and messages. Nothing…" there's a slightly hint of sorrow on her voice. Slightly.

"There you go then, you're smart. Didn't occurred to you that maybe I didn't want to be reach by you?"

"That's why I'm here…" she comments as if it was the most natural thing to do exhaling smoke out her pretty little mouth.

"Good-bye then" I say coldly, turning my face to my drink. Half expecting that when I look back to my right she won't be there. Her name was the answer to my question. Because of her everything was turn to nothing.

"Samantha…"

She placed a hand on my shoulder after leaving her cigarette in the ashtray on the bar, and my insides tremble involuntarily. I can't believe she still has that kind of power upon me. It was a weird sensation, as if her touch could burn me I jumped a little. Matter of fact, it did once. It burned me down to ashes. But I didn't leap out of the flame, I stay put. It's like if she has some kind of charm over me.

I turn my head, waiting for some lame excuse. For another 'I'm sorry'. It didn't come. Instead, she stood from her seat and hugged me tight. I stayed sitting there, numb as a mannequin.

Hot tears could be felt sliding down my neck, hers. She muffle a few inaudible phrases, 'I've miss you' being the only one I could make out. I didn't say anything back. How could she mean that after what she did?

Carly pushed herself back to her seat after a few minutes sobbing on my shoulder; I passed her a napkin from the table. Her eyes were puffy and a bit red just like her nose.

There were so many thought running through my head. I wanted her to hurt how I did, but that could only make me feel miserable at best. I love her, after all. But I couldn't forgive her because in my eyes, she did things deliberately.

"I loved you" I manage calmly, putting emphasis on the past thence of the verb knowing I still did.

"I know…"

"Then, why!"

"Because that was something I couldn't afford, Sam! My father would had killed me! My grandparents would have died, and I wasn't going to hurt Freddy… there was too much at stake…"

"I get that! You've repeated that to me like a thousand times, Shay. What I still don't get it's why you invaded my apartment the day after your wedding with the dork and…" flash backs of the memory stared playing in my head like a movie.

Sam was sitting on the couch. Her favorite blue pj's pants and white tank top on, hair freely falling in front of her face and over her shoulders. She was looking sorrowly through some pictures on her laptop.

The thunderstorm outside was heavy; pouring rain hitting hard on the glass windows of her apartment reminded her of it.

She sighted. The wedding's tomorrow, she remembered as Mayday Parade's The last something that meant anything played in the background. She couldn't believe her best friend was getting married to that tech-dork.

A knock on the door brought her out of the stupor andshe frown her brows, that was unexpected. What normal person would come knocking at your door at 1:36am?

Sam peeked through the door whole, and she recognize the figure outside immediately.

The door was open immediately to let and the wet figure walk in the apartment slowly.

"What the fuck, Carls" she said in increduly. Carly shrugged. "You're all wet, let me bring you a towel"

The brunette nodded and sat on the same spot Sam had been sitting minutes ago while the blonde looked for a towel. She fixated her gaze on the black laptop on top of the coffee table, looking absently at the slideshow on the computer.

Various pictures of her along with Sam played across, some were pictures frames from iCarly and others from random moments they had share together.

"Here you go" the towel was placed over her head in a playful manner and she laughed silently.

"Where did you get theses?"the brunette asked, not taken her eyes off the screen.

"Some Freddy, some Spencer, some I stole from you…" she confessed, sitting by her side.

A melancholic smiled was drawn on her face as brown eyes traveled from the blonde's face to the computer screen and vice versa.

A deaf silence fell upon them for e few minutes while both females stare at the screen. All of the sudden, in a unexpected movement like a flash a kiss was being stolen from the blue-eyed and she returned it.

Carly's hands wrapped themselves around Sam's neck, pulling her closer to herself and both figures stumble to the floor, the brunette landing on top of her.

The kiss grew frantic radiating need and logging. Her hand stared fighting with Sam's t shirt in a desperate attempt to pull it off. She logged to feel her, to touch her.

The feeling was worst than necessity. Sam was like oxygen to her, and she was slowly dying of asphyxia.

It was enough, Sam grabbed Carly strongly by her neck and pulled her to herself, looking her in a deep slow-sensuous kiss. It went beyond needs of the flesh and carnal satisfaction, the kiss was full of more powerful emotions; sorrow, desperation, love.

"I need you." She whispered into the brown-eyed ear, her voice rasping.

Carly cupped her face, rested her forehead against the blonde's. Brown eyes piercing blue ones "Take me, I'm yours…" she breathed before their mouths collide once again.

Sam's hands moved under Carly's wet blouse, warm palms traveling on cold damp skin sending shiver through her spine.

Minutes later both their clothing were scatter all over the living room. Their bodies resting on the soft carpet besides the coffee table cover on salty sweat, breath coming back to them slowly. Carly curled against her warm body as she closed her eyelids.

"Carls…" there were many things Sam would have love to let out but a finger placed on her lips kept her from exteriorizing her thoughts.

Carly kissed the tip of the blonde's small nose, then her right cheek to finally end up snuggling between her neck and the rug on the floor.

"Just hold me" She murmured.

Those were the only words that came out of Carly's mouth, much like a plead. That was exactly what Sam did, terrified. Deep down, she knew what they meant.

The blue-eyed embrace grew stronger and with the hint of jasmine on the tip of her nose due to the brunette's shampoo, she felled asleep.

"…all I got when I woke up was a stabbing loneliness and a lousy letter written sloppily on a piece of paper you ripped from one of my books saying you were sorry" I was aware of the rage portrait in my voice, it was escalating with each words mention but I couldn't help it.

"Sam…" a comfort hand reached towards me and I reject it.

"You have an idea of how much pain you cause me? You were the only person in the world between all these miserable excuses of human beings that could actually hurt me, and you did without hesitation…" I let out in reproachable manner.

"You have all the reason in the world to hate me" she told me flatly, tears in her eyes.

"No shizz…" I spat ironically.

"But I don't regret it, Samantha…"

I couldn't believe the goad of her words. I was about to open my mouth when she cut me off.

"…I don't regret sneaking into your apartment and making love to you because I knew that after the fallowing day I was never going to be able to, so there you go. I don't blame you if you hate me. I'm terribly sorry I caused you so much pain, but you weren't the only one afflicted. I apologize for everything I've done and/or put you through, but I will never say sorry for what happened that night" she finished the sentence agitated, angry tears pouring down her cheeks.

She reached for my hand once again with shaky fingers and this time I let her, she hold it tightly between hers while I look intently at how perfectly they fitted between one another.

"I have to go…" she whispers to me nostalgically, my tired brain still trying to process all the information it has just gather. The bar was almost empty except for Shay who was gathering the chairs around us.

She stands up, my eyes are still focus on our interlocked hands and her aroma grew stronger in my nostrils. Her left hand stared caressing my right cheek and my eyes automatically shut close, my body absorbing her touch as if I was made of sponge.

Few seconds later her moist lips were over mine, kissing me softly and tenderly without any hurry at all as if she wanted to memorize their form, their taste.

Fallow act her forehead was press against mine. I open my eyes and place my free hand on her cheek, our gazes fix on each other.

"God, I love you so much it literary hurts" she breathed.

"I know exactly what you mean" I manage out and she manage the saddest little smile I had ever seen upon her lips.

Carly grabs her purse and stars walking in direction to the exit. Once there she turns.

"I do think back at us every single day, and yes there's gonna be more time for us…" a smile form on my lips, once that was said she open the door and disappeared into the bright sunlight.

An: Its nearly 3:00am and I just haven't been able to sleep due to the fact that I had to paint this story. Hope you liked it. The Song I made Sam sing it's called Temple Bar, just like the story and its interpreted by Tiziano Ferro. If you like to read the English translation of it go to my profile, there's also a link to the song so you can hear it to. Thanks.

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