I'm still sitting on my sofa, knees drawn up against me, almost as if I'm trying to hide away from everything by drawing in to myself, a tear tickles lightly as it runs down my cheek. There's a light streaming from my kitchen window illuminating the dark not that it's making much difference in my living room but that might just be because I closed my curtains and I haven't bothered to turn on the light. I don't exactly feel a pressing need to know what time it is or even if it's night or day, everything seems like it's in the dark.
I don't think I've ever quite felt this deep darkness descend on me except once, after Max, I didn't want anything to go on after that. I've been terrified and horrified so emotional I didn't think I'd ever stop crying, But when this darkness descends it's just overpowering, I'd cried and screamed after Max had died, Now I'm facing the possibility of dying myself.
I wipe my tears away from my face as I hear a knock on my door. I get up, walking towards my front door, smoothing down my clothes, not that it makes much difference but that's usually the way for Stephanie Dean, Always one to paint a smile on my face and pretend everything is alright, like I'm not breaking apart into pieces behind my carefully sculpted facade.
I manage a weak smile that anyone who really knows me will be able to tell is false but it's all I can manage for now. I take a deep breathe, exhaling as I take hold of the latch on the door, As I pull it open to reveal who's there my facade slips away. It wouldn't be much use with him anyway.
I stare in disbelief; I never thought he'd be able to get here, that he'd be able to come for me. And suddenly it's too much and with a whimper I burst in to tears, feeling his arms go surround me, my knees buckle and he holds me up for a split second before gently letting us sink to the floor. Sobs wracking my body as he whispers comforting words that I don't even really take in, but how reassuring he is, how sure he sounds, sooths me and I feel safe enough to let myself go.
It occurs to me that I should be the one comforting him, He is the youngest after all, My little brother Craig and he seems so grown up, I couldn't stop the sobs wracking my body if I tried and I don't feel the need to. We went through hell and back, He'd protected me then, and I'd screamed and begged as a knife was at his throat and I could have sworn I was going to have to see him die. And yet he'd still tried to protect me and he had. It seemed like he was planning on trying to do it again now.
What seemed like hours after he'd arrived I'd finally stopped crying, and He'd half carried me to the couch, sitting with me and letting me keep hold of him, his grip on me almost as tight as my grip on him. I swallowed trying to find my voice. "You're supposed to be in Dublin." I look up at him from where my head's laid on his shoulder. "Yeah, though I had a feeling I would be of better use here." I lay my head back down. "How long are you staying?" I know I'm hugging him tighter now, already hating the idea of him leaving to soon. "As long as I can, and even when I have to leave I'm only a phone call away, whenever you need me, I promise." He answers and I close my eyes as he softly places a kiss to my forehead.
"What about John Paul?" I ask, suddenly worried for my brother's love life, and even though he'd probably agree I'd meddled enough in it. "Lucky Me, He gets what it's like to know when you have to be there for your sisters, He's as loyal to his as I am to mine. Although, I'm not to fond of the in laws." I find myself smiling at his joke, I ask him to distract me and he does, I fall to sleep listening to his story of when He and John Paul went to Ibiza for John Paul's birthday. I can rest for tonight and I'll start again with a new day tomorrow.