A/N: Okay so someone asked for this prompt. Just said 4x19 so I ran with the idea I had for it... I hope I do it justice for you. If you asked for it and are reading this, can you let me know your thoughts?

This was 4800 words, but silly me stopped saving around 2300... and then my word doc sort of... kinda crashed? And I hate the world right now lol I'll re write the other half tomorrow probably.

What did everyone think of Med? Guess I don't need to worry about my fanfic becoming irrelevant lol Considering I actually came up with a storyline for Jay's and his fathers relationship... and Erin... and Linstead. I mean, what more could you want? Okay, I'm done now... story time lol

Enjoy :)

Finding Comfort In You – Part One

Jay POV

I watch Erin from the corner of my eye, much like I've been doing all day. Usually during these cases she'd lean on me, we'd decompress together.

We'd offer each other words and glances full of courage to push through, just the right sprinkle of humor if the situation calls for it.

We have always known we have each other's back, a seamless partnership.

I know she hates these cases, her facial expressions having a mind of their own showing her pain and anguish.

She faces everyone with a brave face, fire in her eyes and vengeance coursing through her veins.

I rely on my solider instincts to push down my emotions, lock my feelings away.

My tunnel vision leads me down a path of justice, keeping the rest at bay. Until I can't anymore.

I'm painstakingly aware of the weird looks thrown my way by Erin, trying to act normal but hurt still consuming her. There a small moments of reprieve when she looks at me the same knowing way, sharing a wavelength before one of us acts on the thought.

The unit is debating the case around me, Anna from the State's Attorney's office poking holes in the case. Exploiting the angles a defense attorney would, urging us to build an air tight case.

"Erin, go down and talk to Platt. See if you can find a female officer to partner up with. The rest of you, meet in the roll up. We're going undercover." Hank's gravely voice fills me with terror, fear making my hair stand up on edge.

My eyes take in the pictures on the whiteboard; I know Erin's one hell of a cop and the toughest person I know. I understand the need to commit to an undercover assignment, but the personal ties aligned with Erin's dislike of these cases have me on edge.

With us apart I'm not sure what reckless mistake she could make to pin these guys.

My mind runs through the assault on Burgess's sister and for a brief moment I see a flicker of an image, picturing Erin like that. Bruised and battered, I stand suddenly to make a move for the roll up, burying my feelings deep down inside like I do best.

I'm standing by the door when Hank opens it to speak to Burgess and Erin.

"Okay, we know these guys like to come in at last call, target the most available women. Their MO is to slip drugs into cocktails, so nobody drinks anything under any circumstances. We clear?" I watch Erin tap her hand against her jean covered leg and I can't help my eyes wondering over her body.

"Copy." Kim nods.

"You want us to grab them after they spike the drinks?" Erin's forehead creases in the way I usually love to smooth out with a gentle caress of my fingers or a kiss to her forehead.

I shift awkwardly as my eyes take in her body again; the smoothness of her exposed back, the curve of her ass highlighted by those jeans, her heels shaping her legs and the swell of her cleavage in that top.

Against my wishes my body reacts, my arousal causing my manhood to twitch. Internally I curse myself, reminding myself this isn't the time or place.

I force myself to remember, she's no longer mine. Not really.

"No. We're gonna wait for them to cross the line of consent first. Till that happens, we just keep eyes on them." My eyes finally leave her to glare at Hanks back, crippling fear grabbing my chest.

I vow to run in at the first sign of danger, not going to wait for a safe word if this undercover op goes too far. I won't have Erin falling victim.

A safe word is decided and Hank informs them that we're ready outside.

I wait impatiently for Kim and Erin to walk outside, I quickly grab Erin's arm gently, ushering her back into the roll up.

"Jay?" Her perfume greets my senses, longing filling me after all this time of keeping our distance.

Our bodies are so close we can feel the hum of the electricity between us; her hazel eyes are looking up at me question. I wonder if her heart is racing like mine, finally being so close after so many weeks apart.

Her hazel eyes are shining with conflicting feelings, desperation to create space between us, and the want to pull me closer.

I shuffle on my feet, my body brushing against her softly. Her breath hitches in her throat, my penis twitching again.

My hand reaches up and pushes some of her hair behind her shoulder, fingertips grazing her bare skin.

Her flowing hair framing her face, the huskiness in her voice and the makeup highlighting her features tempting me to kiss her.

Sorrow fills me briefly when I realise I've only seen Erin in make up for weeks now, missing the comfort of seeing her in sweats, messy bun and make up free.

She's so beautiful in every way, and she doesn't even really know it.

The spell is broken when she averts her eyes, taking a step back. The air around me feels cold, loneliness setting in.

"Be safe okay?" My voice is a whisper, wishing I could bring back the earlier moment.

"I will."

"I mean it Erin. Please don't do anything reckless. I need you." She blinks at me for a few moments, taken aback by my declaration.

"Doesn't seem like it." Her eyes drop, a rare moment of vulnerability where she shows her true feelings. The brave face of a woman taking on the world is gone for just a flicker of a moment.

"I do. I always will." My fingers gently lift her chin, bringing her eyes back to mine.

Her lips quiver as her eyes search mine greedily.

"Okay. Watch my back out there." Her hand finds mine for a moment, bringing it away from her chin to rest with hers on her chest.

"Always." I promise fiercely.

"Oh I bet." She allows herself a small but playful smirk, that mischievous spark back in her eyes.

"I mean, have you seen those jeans on you. I wouldn't dare look anywhere else." There is a double meaning behind my words, my eyes trying to declare this to her.

"Good. Because we're it Jay." She moves towards the door, her back to me.

"We're it?" I question, making sure she understood my words.

"Yeah. The real thing, problems or not. I'm yours and you're mine. And that's how it always will be." She turns her head to the side, not looking at me but not looking away.

Love and relief flood my body as I smile, with the knowledge we aren't over. Not completely, maybe we never will be.

"Always." I whisper in her ear before pulling the door open and letting her exit first.

Her breath hitches and she seems to shudder before composing herself as she slips her jacket on.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I look over at the guy who made a beeline for Erin; I feel the distinct scent of jealousy even though I know she's not interested.

I can't blame the guy for approaching her; she's the most stunning in here by far.

I swallow down the jealousy, trying to keep a clear and professional head.

A small smile comes across my face as she turns him down, Adam sending me a knowing look. If we weren't working a case, I'd know he'd grill me about it.

"Erin looks good tonight." Adam whispers at me, eyes knowing.

"She looks good everyday Adam." I reply, not caring who hears it. Finger itching to turn on my comms so she can hear.

My eyes look back over in time to see Erin scrunch her face up, my forehead creases with a smile at how cute she looks.

"Is this what single life is like?" Her voice full of shock and disbelief, her tone implying she's not enjoying it at all.

My smile falls as I evaluate her words. Is she saying she doesn't see herself as single, or it's a harsh reality for her situation now that she is single?

"At Division Street at 1am it is."

"Great." She practically deadpans turning away to take a drink.

My heart drops into my stomach at that one word, it's almost as if she's displeased this is the life she's in for moving forward.

I urge myself to stop overthinking everything, given our confession in the roll up. Even if our conversation was swayed by our bodies practically touching, we've never had a clear head when our bodies hum, so close and wishing to touch.

"Frick and frack, just walked in." My eyes scan the room, brushing over Erin as they move towards the door in search of the targets.

I swallow back a groan as I see her bite down on the straw, her eyes also seeking visual confirmation on the target. I curse myself and try and get my body to join my head in the game.

We diffuse the situation quickly when they lock onto an unknowing woman at the bar. Ruzek and I keep eyes on them as they walk around the room, ready to steer them towards Erin and Burgess if required.

Erin's smooth back and curve of the ass keep summoning my eyes, diverting my attention back to her.

I'm waiting impatiently for the targets to lock onto Erin unsure why they are taking so long to spot the most beautiful woman here. She's laughing with Kim and I smile, missing the sound of her laugh, the happiness on her face and above all us I miss being the one to make her laugh.

"You girls look lonely, and thirsty." My blue eyes watch them approach Kim and Erin. My eyes betray me by glaring at their back, disgust at how they treat woman and the fact they are hungrily eying my girl.

"Contact." I speak over the comms, using any means I can to push down my personal feelings and focus on the case. Something I learnt to be really good at.

"Is it that obvious?" Erin all but giggles back.

"What are you girls up to tonight?"

"Oh we had a friends bachelorette party."

"Cheers to being single." Erin sings out as they clink glasses. The sentence coming from Erin affects me more than it should, bitterness left behind.

My hand wraps tight around my bottle as I hear them extend an invitation to a party, protectiveness making me want to never take my eyes off her.

I stand my ground, knowing as much as I want to protect Erin she can take care of herself. She'd despise the insinuation she couldn't.

"We can keep this party going on all night long." They try to persuade the girls, with what they believe is charm.

"Oh." Erin's voice is full of realization, her tone pretending to like the idea.

"Parties on the move." I provide the update, once again falling back on protocol to distract my thoughts.

I watch the small screen, the guy next to Erin too close for my liking. I see her body language silently screaming out her dislike for the situation.

She's sub consciously leaning away, her body turned away from him.

Kim and Erin are exchanging glances, trying to wiggle out from underneath the guys pressure for them to drink.

"Uh. Nothing. I think I'd rather smoke pot. Do you have any pot?" Erin uses her experience to create a distraction from not wanting to drink the spiked alcohol. Instead asking for drugs to deflect suspicion from them suspecting cops are setting them up.

He leans closer, begging her to drink it just for him. She shrugs at him, her body still screaming with her discomfort of him.

I'm tapping my fingers nervously; sure that Erin wouldn't take the shot but part of me worried she'll ditch the rules.

My eyes close briefly in shock as Kim takes the shot, Erin's worried face shown clear on the screen.

I place my hand on the car door handle, just waiting for the safe word or Hank's order.

My worried eyes flicker over to the building before gluing them back to the screen looking for any signs of danger.

If it comes to it I'll disobey Hank's direct order, to keep her safe from having another nightmare to live with.

To protect myself from having another nightmare to survive, my worst nightmare would be if she were taken away from me.

I curse silently when Kim takes the camera from the living area, anxiousness filling me on the inside when I have no eyes on my partner.

On the outside I look calm, unless you look into my stormy eyes.

The second Kim calls out the safe word, my door is flung open and I sprint to the building, the unit right beside me.

"Erin, we're about to breach." I call out over the comms as the door is kicked in.

I see the guy leaning close to Erin's face on the couch; the second the door is open she's grabbing his arm and forcing him face down onto the coffee table.

"Chicago PD! Get down! Stay down!" She calls out, her voice loud and full of heated authority.

Her hand pushed forcefully on the back of his neck, her knee pressing into his back.

"Where's Kim?" Adam asks.

"She's in the back. Go!"

"You okay?" I check with Erin and she nods while keeping her weight on the perp.

"I'll take him. Give me your hands. Hands!" I order as I pull his arms back harshly to cuff him.

"I've got him, go check on Kim."

"Thanks." Erin nods and rushes off.

"Get up." I order angrily, yanking him up and forcing him to the door, making sure to knock his shoulder on the doorframe as we walk through.

A/N: Review and let me know what you think. I could seriously use some motivation to re write the second half. Argh. :(

I know Jay wasn't anywhere to be seen when they entered the apartment at the end... but this is my story so I fixed that right up lol

Next up is the interrogation with Erin and Jay, then an extension of the episode... Linstead edition.