Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Author's note: Just a little something that came to me when I was pondering the hierarchical structure of the Gotei 13. Enjoy.
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"Ken-chan, Ken-chan!"
"What is it?"
"Ne ne, Ken-chan! Don't you wanna play tag with me?"
"I told ya I've gotta slash some things first!"
The pink-haired little girl giggled and grabbed Zaraki-taichou's sword, running away. "Catch me, catch me!"
"Damn brat! Come back!" the spiky-haired man roared, chasing after her.
Rukia and Renji sweatdropped as they looked at each other. They had just come by on their way to the Sixth Squad's barracks and become witnesses of the Eleventh Squad's taichou's and fukutaichou's curious antics once again.
"You know, he's about the only person in the whole wide world who would let her get away with that without killing her," Renji stated, looking after the two.
"And she's the only one who can do such things to him without getting slashed," Rukia agreed. They walked quietly for a moment, before she spoke again. "Come to think of it, it's always that way. Even though the different squads often disagree with each other, they never argue within themselves."
"Well, they can't afford to. Bad enough that there are quite a lot of discrepancies between the squads …" Renji said, smiling. "Just think of how nobody wants to go anywhere near the Twelfth Squad's labs …"
Rukia shuddered. "That's because nobody trusts Kurotsuchi-taichou."
"I wouldn't either."
"Yeah. The only person getting along with him is Nemu-san."
Renji snorted. "And that's because he built her."
Rukia nodded. "Because nobody would ever want to be his fukutaichou …"
"… since fukutaichou, in that case, would be a better term for personal guinea pig."
They both grimaced as they imagined the things the Twelfth Squad's taichou could possibly do in his labs.
"But it's not just the Eleventh and Twelfth Squad," Rukia finally broke the silence. "Or could you imagine having someone like Ōmaeda in your team?"
"Uwg," Renji said disgustedly and waved his hand. "Soi-Fon-taichou sure is brave to put up with him."
"But he is, too," Rukia pointed out. "Personally, I wouldn't want to be under Soi-Fon-taichou."
"Right … Me neither," Renji mumbled as he thought of the harsh and merciless way of the Second Squad's taichou.
"Somehow they always seem to fit, don't they?" Rukia pondered. "Like Komamura-taichou and Iba-fukutaichou."
"Yeah, he's so loyal to him that it's almost disgusting," Renji laughed. "And they get along just great … considering Komamura-taichou's, uh, face."
Rukia nodded again. "Others would perhaps ridicule him."
"Iba wouldn't. He'd rather die."
"And that's just how it works," Rukia declared, pointing to their right where an utterly infuriated Hitsugaya-taichou was chasing a laughing Matsumoto-fukutaichou around the place. "Just look at them. Can you think of any male person except Hitsugaya-taichou who would not let Matsumoto-san get away with everything she's doing just because she has boobs?"
Renji snorted with laughter but almost choked on it as he caught the cross glance Rukia was giving him. "You included, baka."
"S-Sorry," Renji muttered and sweatdropped.
"Well it's not like I'd care," Rukia huffed.
Again there was a little embarrassing pause, with Renji scratching his neck sheepishly and Rukia walking with her arms folded in front of her chest.
"T-The Eighth Division," he finally dared to say to get her back to the topic, and she raised her eyebrows, looking at him.
"What about them?"
"Any other person than Ise-fukutaichou would've long since fallen into despair with Kyōraku-taichou, always lazing around, especially when it comes to paperwork …"
"Yes, and she's still enduring his stupid advances …" Rukia had often heard Ise-san complain about her taichou's constant hitting on her. She grimaced as she imagined her own taichou doing such a thing – she could never put up with it.
"Perhaps she likes it?" Renji asked innocently, this time ignoring Rukia's glare. "She has to, or else she wouldn't still be there."
"It's not like she's asking for it, baka."
"But still," he insisted. "Either way, he needs her for her competence."
"That's true."
"What else do we have …" he reflected loudly, now seriously into the topic. "Kotetsu-fukutaichou and Unohana-taichou."
"Kotetsu-san needs someone as calm as Unohana-taichou," Rukia stated, looking at the sky in thought. "If she had someone around her who'd always yell at her … oh my, imagine her as Zaraki-taichou's subordinate …"
Renji gulped. "Poor girl'd die …" he mumbled.
"But then again not everyone would get along with Unohana-taichou. As I've heard, most men wouldn't."
"True …" Renji said, "she's scary …"
"I'm sure Kotetsu-san is seeing that differently, and that's why they just fit."
"I've never seen it like this …" Renji smiled. "But you're right, it's little short of a miracle that everything is as it is."
"Well of course people can decide for or against something. Ukitake-taichou also let me decide, but of course I'd never say No. He's the best taichou I can imagine …"
"And once again it fits," Renji remarked, and she smiled.
"Then there are the cases of the Third, Fifth, and Ninth Squad …" he said slowly.
Rukia sighed. "It would have been great if those three just hadn't done whet they have done …"
"Yes, Momo-san and Izuru-san as well as Hisagi-san were absolutely devoted to their taichous …" Renji said, shaking his head. "It's a pity."
"It is," Rukia agreed. Once again they walked silently, both of them deep in thought until Rukia said, "And what about the First Division?"
Renji raised his brows. "Yeah … what about them … perhaps that they're both … uhh, how shall I put this …"
"Old, you mean?" Rukia giggled.
"Yeah, exactly," he chuckled.
By now they could already see the Sixth Squad's quarters, and Renji, who was absolutely able to count, already thought about the answer to her unspoken question. He almost dreaded it – could he tell her? Didn't she know already? That girl had always had the ability to read him like an open book, but it had never been the other way round. What could he possibly say to her when she asked?
"And …" she said softly, and they both stopped as if by command, "what about you?"
Renji looked to the ground, struggling with himself. Give it up, she knows it either way, he finally concluded, and let out a sigh. "You know I'm looking up to him …" he started, and took his arms up to fold behind his head. When he threw her a quick glance, he saw her staring at him intently. He had to look away quickly for his face not to turn red. Nobody … okay, nobody except Ichigo and Zabimaru knew this.
"I'm looking up to him because I need that to become stronger. And I need to become stronger to be able to surpass him one day. And I need to surpass him because …" He hesitated, risking another glance at her.
She was smiling. "I know," she whispered almost inaudibly. "I know."
"Tsk." He turned his head away for her not to see that silly smile he just couldn't hold back. "Why force me to say it, then?"
"I just like to hear it."
He turned to her, surprised, but she was already walking into the building. "Tsk," he muttered and followed her slowly.
He didn't see the soft smile on her face as she pushed the door open. If he had, he would never have been able to stop grinning like stupid again.