I don't own anything even though I'd wouldn't know what to do with it even if in some weird universe I actually did. Anyway I hope you like it, but be warned I might keep editing it like crazy unless I get some reviews! So please read my second story and review or I might end up like poor Emily Dickinson.(from what I've heard about her, not such a great life story)Peace, love and write.
"You Didn't Love Me"
Ron's Side
I didn't love you... you know It was all just lust, just lust
Ron collapsed in the garden bed, forgetting the chair intended for him.
He had just finished bathing his mother, who lost all her strength when his
father died at the hands of Bellatrix Lastrange. Molly Weasley was lost in
despair of longing for her husband. It was all quiet horrible to see. She
could barely register the passing from day to night. Ron had come back
home 5 years after the war with Voldermort was over to take care of her.
Ron knew how his mother felt, losing everything in one moment, and trying
to survive in the next. Harry was gone, also. They could never find his
body, so they pronounced him dead. Ron had hope, but it had been a
year. His family was broken with harry's death. Ginny especially. She
didn't laugh or talk as much. Ronald understood this to, well maybe not,
being pregnant with a dead( or missing) husband was not a level of
hardship he could possibly reach.(not that he want to.) But Ron missed
Harry too. It was weird not talking with him or not seeing him everyday,
not playing Qudditch with, even not plotting schemes with him and
Hermione anymore. Hermione. She was the one that hurt him the most.
The one that betrayed him the most. Not to mention Harry too. But she was probably
In another part of Europe right now snuggling up to Krum.
The way I held your hand, you know?
The way you squeezed and rubbed... you know?
Out of all the pain and gore, and death, Hermiones' hurt the most.
Ron had (and still did) loved her and he thought she had loved him, loved him
enough to stay . He had remembered that day of the battle, how he had tried his best
to protect her. And how he had almost died doing it. But that whole 'dieing thing'
didn't bother him what did was when he and Harry had needed her the most , she ran.
Now Ronald Weasley wasn't stupid, he knew Harry had feelings for the girl that he
loved. But he also knew Harry would never act on them because of their friendship.
He knew he probably didn't deserve Hermione, (because no one really does) but he had
let The -Boy Who Lived have everything he ever wanted, but not her, not his 'mione.
Ron had guessed that Hermione never felt the same way Harry had felt about her. She
loved him, him Ron, not Harry.(hope you got that straight) Ron knew this because
Harry had called out to her during the war but she was heading in his direction.
So, yeah he thought she was coming to save him ( he did do it for her) but she didn't
even see him. Hermione looked scared and preoccupied and ran in another direction.
So he called out to her and she turned around, she stood blank and with tears falling
down looked as if to turn back and help him but instead she continued to run. Ron
thought that Hermione Jane Granger loved him, but how could you run away from love?
He had lost all hope and was a second away from the end, his end. The hooded figure
raised his wand, but then a screamed shot out through the night and the hooded figure
Looked up giving Ron a second advantage to attack. But that was all in the past, Harry
was possibly dead, and Hermione married. How would he know? Ron was ( however he
didn't want to phrase it this way) stuck taking care of his mom till Charlie came back
home tomorrow ( finally) so Ron could go back home to finish his search for Harry and
(however he didn't want to admit) Hermione. No matter what Ron had remembered
everything that happened that day, all the deaths and horror, but mostly he remember
Hermione turning her back on him.
All those silly names, you know?
Those silly faces we made, remember?
Flash Back
He was bent overlying across her stomach, rubbing her side and running his hand up
and down her hips. Hermione moaned and ran her fingers through his hair. Hermione
laid silently , absently rubbing Ron's scalp. Ron took her other hand and knew he had
To quiet the fears she had about the ending of their story. Because that's how Ron saw
this whole deal; a adventure story with a happy ending. Ron would be her king and she, his queen.
But Hermione looked anything but a queen. She looked so frighten and small it just
tore him apart to see her so uncharacteristically weak. She looked up into his eyes when
he asked her what was wrong. Hermione replied that she was thinking and that was it.
But Ron knew something was the matter but didn't want her to get upset.
So he said the only thing he could without Hermione getting upset. Ron looked her in
the eyes and said "No matter what, Hermione, I hope you know that I care about you and
Will always respect you, and I would never judge you, but I will always protect you."
Ron finished meaning every word he said and stared at her. Hermione looked shocked
but laid back and said "Okay." Ron looked at her once more before laying back down.
"I love you , Ron," She finally said. "I really do, love you." Ron smiled.
End flashback
I didn't love you, you know It was all just lust, just lust, You know?
Ron smiled back into the bed of mashed flowers, remembering that moment.
They had just had their first time, together. He was a little nervous but only because he
knew it would be a bit painful ( a bit?) for Hermione. Ron felt so stupid, he knew there
was something wrong with her, so why couldn't he just talk to her. No matter how
angry she could've gotten. Hermione, the last time he saw her was on the way boarding
a plane. He was getting off a plane to go see his mother when he thought he heard a
familiar voice. Ron had turned around to see Victor Krum standing over Hermione
speaking and his ( still ) weird accent. Ron didn't even know they were still talking.
Anyway Ron had confronted her, asking her questions maybe a little incoherently. He
didn't even want to know the answers, all he wanted to do was hold her and never let
her go. Ron wanted to forget her faults all that she did and forgive her. Hermione hid
her face and cried, the tears falling down in absolute horror. She was crying
incoherently mumbling unheard excuses. Ron had had enough , he just wanted to
know why she had let him, was it because she never really loved him? Hermione said
nothing but looked sadly into his eyes. Ron had token the worst from that look,
thinking she didn't love either of them. Him or Harry. Krum had taken to trying to hold
him back seeing as he couldn't possible take on Krum in his wildest dreams Ron looked
at Hermione with so much hate she nearly crumbled. Ron felt so bad on his way home
thinking of making her cry like that, and that bloody Krum holding her , when he was
supposed to be the one defending her. Deep down Ron knew he still had feelings for
Hermione, but still he knew she deserved to feel ashamed for leaving them. For turning
her back on the ones she was supposed to care for , supposed to love.
Hermione's Side
The way you tugged at my waist, you know,
Pulling me closer and licking my lips, you know?
Hermione had made up her mind, she was leaving England. Leaving all
misery and memories all behind. Victor Krum had even agreed to help her.
Victor arrived at twelve that day, kissing her forehead, and picking up her
few bags. Even some of her clothes had now painful memories. He had said
he would set her up with an apartment, and , of course, learning language
tapes. Hermione didn't know why but he understood her, understood
weakness, her weakness. She called him as soon as she had stopped crying,
and he agreed immediately, and started making plans for the departures.
Flashback
Hermione was drenched and tried her stomach was hurting and she felt like it was
almost time, She wondered how fast Harry would come. She held her knees to her
chest trying to hold on a little bit longer, to compress the pain. What was she going to
do? Would she leave the country and just hide from everything that happened only a
few hours ago. She could barely breathe without feeling a sharp pain in her stomach.
Tears wanted to run down her face as she tried to keep her emotions in check.
Hermione couldn't afford to waist time on a crying session. Why did she run? Why
couldn't she ignore her body and that worried voice in her minding telling her all would
be all right. Oh! But why'd she keep asking herself that question when she all ready
knew the answer? Simply Hermione wasn't brave, not even enough to be in Griffindor.
Well she was in Griffindor but only because she asked the hat too. She was too
embarrassed to admit to Harry and Ron that the hat wanted to put her into Ravenclaw.
The only real reason she wanted to be in that house was because of Ronald Weasley.
Who she thought would never even look at her in Ravenclaw. Liking him, being in that
house, was what started all this complicated mess. How stupid and smitten she was
over that warm-headed red head. A little too proud to show it though. Hermione would
never see how truly foolish it would be to be in love with a Weasley. Mainly that one.
But of course this was another result of her wants, needs and deeds.
How I felt on are special night, remember?
Somehow it was only you that night, you know.
Flashback
Ron was bending over her. Hermione was breathing rather hard and fast.
He was going to do it, finally thought Hermione, finally here their moment. Ron was red
all over and absolutely bright. She was posted on her elbows, Ron, naked, was leaning
towards her holding her back. Hermione could see that Ron was obviously scared of
hurting her. He wasn't a virgin, but she still was. He was taking too long, she thought,
probably too frighten to go any farther.
"Hermione, are you ready yet?"
Hermione was baffled, as if she was the one sweating off half his skin. Well, actually she
was sweating as well. It was a tight, and heated situation.
"Ronald, I've been ready for
like 2 years now, it's you that is slowing me down." Ron laughed nervously,
"Geez, 'mione, harsh aren't we?" Ron and Hermione fell out laughing. It took a adoring look
from one another to get the mood back. "So, you want to do this thing?" asked Ron with
a cheeky grin.
"Yeah ," said Hermione lying back down. Ron positioned himself once
more into Hermione. Taking a deep breathe he gently pushed himself
through. The night ended hours ( yeah right) later. Ron lying lightly on top of her, she
had her arms enclosed around his neck, hands in his famous hair.
Hermione loves Harry Not
I couldn't love you, they said it wouldn't make sense,
But, the way I see it not loving you wouldn't make any sense,
You know?
Hermione still felt so ashamed, so horrible no matter how many times she
told herself it was something she couldn't change. The regrets and
decisions she made would haunt her till death. The worst was Harry, not
living anymore she couldn't possibly make it up to him, he would
understand why she didn't tell Ron. Hermione knew there would never be
anyone like Harry, she loved him. She knew she would be there when ever
he needed her, always. Harry loved her too but in a more than sisterly way,
He never told her that but she could tell. Part of her wanted to return his
feelings, cause she didn't want to ever think of hurting Harry, but she just
couldn't she loved Ron. Still did and she probably always would. Harry kept
everything to himself probably thinking no one could see the admiring stares, and the
long and warm hugs.
But then again he always thought no
one noticed him period, away from the Boy-Who -Lived image, of course.
Hermione was pouring herself some freshly made coffee waiting for Victor
to call and tell her the time of her departure, when she remembered the
week Ron left.
Flashback
The tent was dimly lit. The rain was coming down hard and she was rolled
over on her bunk bed, crying so low as to not let Harry hear. Harry was
hunched over in his corner, sitting in a low chair looking at small items in
his hands. Hermione was thinking of Ron, and the night he left. He didn't
even turn around even though she screamed his name at least a dozen
times, with tears rolling down her cheeks. Hermione didn't know at the
time what she could've said to make him stay, but now quotes and words
were forming in her mind. It was too late now, Hermione thought. Ron was
gone now and wouldn't be able to come back. All she could hope for now is
that she would see him when this whole war was over. Over; this war could
last for months or even years! And she wouldn't see him. Hermione
wouldn't be able to tell him how she loved him, how she been chose him
when she first saw him. Because right now Ron was probably having a lot
of doubts whether she loved him or Harry. Hopelessness fell over
Hermione, she loved him, and didn't even know how he felt about her. She
knew he cared about her but he never really said those three words, did
he? Thought Hermione. She continued to cry softly on until she heard
Harry shift in his dark corner. He got up to walk over and bend beside her
bunk and shook her. "What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked a little bitterly.
She guessed she did blame him a little bit, but she didnt know why.
"Hermione, please talk to me, don't shut me out, I miss him too, you
know." Sure you do, thought Hermione. She wanted to shut these
thoughts out but she couldn't help it. At least she didn't say it.
"Hermione," Harry pleaded after she didn't reply.
"Harry its not your fault, I just don't feel good." She lied. "I didn't think you blamed me,"
said Harry, obviously surprised. "I, just thought you were hurt, so you do blame
me?" Hermione was stunned into silence, she didn't think Harry would
catch on that fast. "No, well yes, in a way a do, Harry!" She admitted. "In
what way? Harry asked timidly, he sounded as if he was dreading the
words that' she might say. Its just Ron thinks that, you um, have feelings
for well, me... Do you, Harry?" Hermione was right, Harry's face came into
a reluctant frown. "Well, Hermione, .. yes, I admit I do have feelings for
you. I don't know why, I mean, I know I love Ginny but sometimes I just
get confused about the both of you." Harry finished, he had his head
towards Ron bed as if pleading with an imaginary Ron to understand.
"Harry, I love you, with all my heart and soul, but only in a brotherly way,
I wish I could feel the same way because I don't want to hurt you, but it
just wasn't meant to be, I mean I love Ron. I'm sorry, Harry, I really am."
Harry turned to her with a strange expression. He shifted his position to
face her. "How would you know it wasn't meant to be if you've never even
kissed me?" said Harry. "You've only been with one man in your life, so
how can you be so positive?" Harry had obviously hit a spot. Hermione
thought about it and suddenly wasn't sure. A second later Hermione had
her lips pressed up against Harry's . She held on even when he tried to pull
back, probably thinking of Ron. Hermione was thinking about Ron too. She
had to do this, to be sure that he was really the one for her. She couldn't
make such a big mistake. Tension was building between them and both of
them needed more. Harry pulled Hermione off the bed tugging at her
waist to do so. Hermione grabbed his shirt and ripped it off his head,
breaking apart no longer than a second. She next went for his neck with
her mouth while her hands were pulling at his pants, which he pulled her
up to take them off. Harry was unbuttoning her blouse pinching at her
nipples when both her blouse and bra was on the floor. When finally all
their cloths off, Harry pushed her down slowly and grabbed both of her
breasts. He massaged one and gently bit and licked her other one, while she
squirmed under him and had her hands on the back of his neck. "Harry,
oh ,Harry, please more, now!" she muttered.
She could so strongly feel her hot pussy waiting for him to take
it in his mouth, if he wanted to. Harry moved slowly down her stomach,
laying butterfly kisses among her flushed skin. Hermione was on to Harry's
game of making her want it even more. And it worked she was burning up
and just wanted him right than. She pushed her hips up against him
making him move faster, because plainly she couldn't take it anymore.
When Harry finally pushed himself in her she quickly hung on to him.
Grabbing his shoulder she met up with his thrusts. Harry felt so good
against her she just couldn't believe how good he was at this. Harry was
literally attacking her neck, planting hard kissed lower and lower.
Hermione pulled his face up to hers, he thrust into her even harder making her
attach her lips to his. His tongue was massaging hers and with the crazy
thrusting technique and them clutching their arms on each others
shoulders, they finally came. Together they grunted in the release and held
on more tightly. Harry was so wore out that he asked her if she wouldn't
mind him lying on top of her. She said yes, loving the weight on her body,
and parting her legs a little bit to try to get comfortable, unsuccessfully.
They laid like that for hours only to get up for another go. Later that week
Ron came back and everything went back to normal.
Not Love
Hermione, still. Flashback, still.
The week that Ron came back was an awkward one. Hermione didn't know
if Harry thought she had used him or was using Ron. But she was sadly not
using Ron, she did really love him. What she had with Harry was nice, well
amazing but she knew she still felt the same about him. And she didn't
know how to tell him. What would his reaction be? Would he be upset, and
tell Ron, out of anger, what they did when he wasn't there? Hermione
knew Harry wouldn't tell, probably out of fear of Ron killing him, but also
because Harry didn't want to hurt Ron. Ron was Harry's best friend, his
most closets friend, other than Hermione. And lets face it she was a girl and
it was way easier to talk to Ron than her about boy stuff. But again what if
he was that desperate? One day when Hermione saw that Ron was asleep
she went outside to finally talk to Harry. Ron was constantly by her side,
still ashamed about leaving her, and Harry. She saw Harry leaning against a
lone tree definitely thinking hard. When Harry finally turned around he
smiled at her.
"Hermione, I don't love you, well.. not in that way, it just
didn't feel right sleeping with you, . I mean 'it' was nice but it didn't feel
right." Harry finished, he was probably unsure how she would react, not
knowing whether after all that she might now have loved him. But then Hermione
smiled and she could see Harry relaxed. "Oh Harry! I don't love you either!
Well except in a best friend kind of way, too!" Hermione started laughing
from relief, and soon Harry followed in suit. Hermione than remembered
that Ron came out of the tent wondering out loud what the 'bloody hell'
was so funny. They kept on laughing, even when Ron stomped back in the
tent a little upset about not being let in on the joke.
End Flashback
The way their eyes followed us everywhere,
Didn't you see? Didn't you here? Didn't you know?
Ron. Her Ron. Hermione didn't know what she could've told him at the
time , but she was sure nothing could have made him understand why she
had slept with their best friend. She felt like a down right coward. How
could she ever possibly make that up for him? Hermione knew she
couldn't, not a billion apologies in the world would make Ron Weasley
forgive Hermione Jane Granger, and that's why she was leaving. This was
the way she saw it; better to have him think she deserted him and Harry,
than him knowing she slept with both him and Harry, and now she was
pregnant with one of their babies. Babies as in twins. Hermione learned a
week before the final battle and she told Harry first because she was
positive the babies were Ron's. Truth was she knew she could trust Harry to
take it all in stride, like he always does. Hermione didn't know, though how
she would tell Ron or admit she slept with Harry. Maybe she could've just
slip a pregnancy potion in him when he wasn't paying attention. She knew
how she could tell if it was his or not because Ron, himself would turn pink,
that is if they were his. But that plan was over when the Dark lord attacked
them at Hogwarts when they weren't expecting it, and after that battle
when he was destroyed by Harry she didn't even know if Ron would ever
look at her anyway. Then twins weren't born yet, she still had a week to go,
but she needed someone to be there for her, to help and it looked from
here it would be Victor. How Hermione wished that she would have enough
courage to tell Ron, but the day was coming that she would have to leave.
Anyway she wouldn't be able to find him cause he moved closer to London
after the battle and she had no idea where he would be, and she didn't
dare ask Ginny or the other Weasley because they knew no more of her
dirty secret then Ron did. Finally it was when she was at the airport getting
ready to leave when Ron came out of no where screaming and yelling at
her. Hermione knew she deserved it in some way she just wished she had
had the courage to answer him, but she was no prepared for that sudden
scene. Plus Victor was holding off Ron the best he could. When Ron had
finally left she picked up her bags and, with her face held down so he
couldn't see the tears, she told him she wasn't going, she had change her
mind. Hermione was shocked Ron didn't say anything about her stomach,
he probably thought it was Krum's baby. She knew she had hurt him when
he finally stopped screaming he just looked at her like the only thing he
wanted to do was hold her. Which in his mind was out of the question
seeing as (in his mind) she was pregnant with Victor's baby and probably
going to marry him too. Now she knew he was taking care of his mom
because she had explained the whole story to his sister, Ginny, hoping she
would understand and help her. What are friends for anyway? She thought.