It was a dark and stormy night………Why do all murder mysteries start with "It was a dark and stormy night."? That's bullshit, not all murder days are dark and stormy!?! Murders happen everyday, and everyday isn't dark and stormy! Fuck that shit, this day wasn't dark and stormy! It was fucking sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, everything was going fine until that old woman Tsunade called me and Sasuke for some stupid special mission! Now normally, I loved missions, especially the special ones that have been assigned to me personally but the after effect of this mission, PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. Basically this entire story will be told in the Traditional Naruto way….In flashback…-___-.

I know what you're thinking, "Nooo, not another flashback!" Trust me, this Naruto fan fiction won't be like one you've read before! Why? Because Yozuik wrote this one that's why!!!! Now like I said, this all happen because Tsunade called us into her office for an awesome mission that will soon be the downfall of all the manliness that I had in me….if I had any to begin with.

(___This is supposed to be a Transition__)

"Finally, a mission worth my awesomeness," I squealed like a freaking fan girl, as that basturd Sasuke was there rolling his eyes.

"Naruto, this isn't a ordinary mission, this is a murder case, I'm assigning you," She said in all seriousness.

"Big deal, it can't be that hard, this is just a filler episode,"

"Mind me asking why can't the medical team or other ninjas deal with this? I know we're main characters, but we're just genin, why would you assign this to us?" Sasuke asked in bluntly.

"Cause I'm awesome," I stated proudly.

"We have our hands full right now, most of ninjas are at Sand having they're annual Ninja Convention," She explained.

"We're the main characters and we weren't invited?" I asked.

"Look, it's the excuse for you guys to do this stupid mission because even though you're genin, and don't have the experience or skills to handle it, we're sending you because are main characters and have zero possible chance of dying,"

"So why the hell should we do this?" Sasuke gave her a look that clearly read, WTF.

"Because it's in your contract, you have to blindly accept missions, whether or not you know how dangerous they are." Tsunade threw papers at them.

"Good enough for me, let's go" I grabbed the mission file and ran out the door grabbing Sasu-basturd along with me.

"Fucking Main characters," Tsunade murmured.

(________)

"So what do we got?" Sasuke asked peering over my shoulder. Too close.

"Oi, basturd, don't get so close to me," I warned.

"With you hogging the murder report, I have no choice, now what do we got?"

"It says the Victim's name was Kyousuke Tokiwa. He died at 3:23 pm. The main suspects we have is the wife, the brother, and….oh god, his mistress."

"Anything else?" He leaned in closer, I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Sasuke, why does you breath smell like ramen?" I sniffed.

"It doesn't," He covered his mouth.

"It does, dude, I'm the villages Ramen whore, don't you think I know ramen when I smell it?" I leaned my nose closer to his face, sniffing.

"Dammit Naruto, would you guys answer me about the report,"

I hid the file away, "Tell me about the ramen first,"

"No,"

"Then we're just gonna stand here,"

"Naruto!"

"Tell me, basturd," I said with a sly smirk on my face. I was actually winning an argument! Holy shiz!!!

"Alright, fine, I ate some ramen, to see what the fuck was so awesome about it," He said in almost a whisper.

"You ate ramen, cause of me?"

"No, I ate it, cause of your damn breath, you smell of it constantly,"

"You smell me?"

"You smell so bad, anyone can smell you! Learn to fucking shower. Second, I'm at ninja, I can smell you a 1 mile away,"

"Still, you're smelling me,"

"Dammit, would you just fucking read?"

"Alright, Alright, it says that the guy was a once a poor man, hooked on gambling, then he struck gold one day and became rich, bought some companies and the rest is history,"

"Then lets go to the wife first," Sasuke said walking off.

"Why her?" I asked.

"The guy has a mistress, its kinda of obvious it's the wife,"

"Oh…right….just what I was thinking,"

"Shut up and follow,"

"Yeah, Yeah,"

I followed, still happy that I won an argument. I didn't really bother much to keep up with Sasuke, I stayed behind him. I admit, of all the asses I've seen, Sasuke's was nice.

AN: Awesome!!!! I have finish the 1st chapter of this awesome crap! This story is based off of a murder mystery I wrote for school..its just…Naruto style. This is my first SASUNARU that doesn't have complete sappy romance, horror, my life is so hard please kill me crap in it. This one is just based on my wonderful and friendly personality that is me!!! So embrace the insanity and welcome to hell where the 4th wall doesn't even exist!