--------I DO NOT OWN J.K ROWLING'S FINISHED BOOK SERIES HARRY POTTER------
One upon a time in a flower fetish town with a street labeled, "Private Drive" and a run-down house full of ugly society excepted people with the rusting magnetic "4" lived a orphan living with his ugly Aunt and Uncle because his parents were upset and committed suicide the day after he/she was born. ((He was already a year old though, in ways))
(12 years later)
A orphan living with a family with the name "DUURSLEY" was cooking eggs and bacon in a small bronze pan in a run-down fireplace because the Dursley's liked their eggs to have a nice peasant-made flavor and Mrs. Petunia Dursley was a fan of the 16th century, while her husband Vernon and gay child Dudley went to eat at Ihop every day.
"WHEN ARE MY EGGS GOING TO BE READY SCUMMY PEASANT!" Petunia said freely due to her real family's daily eating at Ihop. "They'll be coming out in a few decades ma'am…" Said the poor orphan who was so use to being called peasant he didn't care except the fact that after this he could hang the clothes. (It was his favorite duty)
Later that day at dinner while Dudley was secretly reading Gorgeous Carat and watching for his next Shojo mag
"Mum!!" He silently whispered across the table gay and loud, "What is it?" His mom replied in shock because she rarely ever heard his voice for some unknown reason, it was, really, girly? "Mom! We got a letter today for someone named Harry Potter should I open it or stuff it back in the mailbox like what daddy does whenever he sees a magazine with Victoria Beccum? " He said, and at that a massive big red blush appeared on Vernon's face and Petunia suddenly said, "I thought you just needed some Viagra!"
A few minutes later
"Hey Peasant boy! What do you think she's doing to daddykins out in the woods?" Asked Dudley. "I dunno, they're not my parents…" The peasant boy said with teary eyes and a carp-sized frown.
"Well you could at least guess!" He said in his horribly female voice which made him want to pop the "Question" about if he likes boys. "Um well, I think their just.. talking it out.. y'know, serial style" Dudley suddenly gaped in surprise to see that his (LITERALLY) stork dropped slave was smart. "Well, now that I think back on it she was carrying an ax and daddy looked dreadfully pale." At that point the peasant with the name Harry grabbed all the mail that he had heard about at dinner and ran for it.
To be continued
Author's note: Okay, don't hate me if you hated this. BLAME THE SIN NOT THE SINNER! Mmmkay? ;o
-Reviews are wanted. - hypno-wheel. Reeevviiiewww.