Naruto loved Mondays, which was unusual. In fact, it was downright strange, considering Naruto was Teenage Boy, and Teenage Boys do not love Mondays. In fact, most people in general hate Monday's guts.

Naruto loved Mondays because that was the day Haku came over.

To be fair, Haku was paid to be there; she was Naruto's tutor. Naruto didn't mind this at all though; she was there and that was enough for him.

On this very Monday, Naruto ditched his two Best Friends (One of them was his ex-girlfriend, but that's another story) at the school gates with a yelled, "Bye, Guys!" (Almost every word out of Naruto's mouth was said at an uncomfortably loud volume), before bounding down the street toward home.

Naruto raced home, slung his backpack onto the floor by the hall and microwaved himself a bowl of ramen, which was the best food on the world. Believe it. Slurping contentedly on beef-flavored broth, Naruto waited for Haku to arrive. He didn't have to wait long.

When the door bell rang Naruto vaulted out of his seat only to find Haku had already let herself in and was toeing his carelessly thrown backpack out of her way. Skidding around the corner Naruto nearly barreled into her. "Woops," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry about that."

Why did he always screw up?

Haku smiled and Naruto practically melted. Well, not melted, maybe. That was a chick thing, right?

Hake brushed herself off, picking a piece of lint out of Naruto's hair. "It's fine. How was your day?"

Naruto shoved his backpack out of the way, and made his way to the kitchen counter, which doubled as a dining room-table-desk- and- everything-else, tripping over his untied shoelaces. He made a mental note to invest in Velcro. "Great! Plus…," Naruto trailed off, biting his lip to contain the grin that was trying to burst its way on to his face.

Haku glanced at him inquisitively, sliding the graphing calculator out of its case. Naruto bounced up and down on his toes. "Plus, I got a B on my math on my math test."

"That's amazing, Naruto!" Haku said warmly, putting the calculator on the counter. Naruto's already blushing face turned brighter red as she pulled him into a hug.

"It's all thanks to you," He said, beaming, once they had sat down, "You're a good teacher, believe it."

"That's so sweet, Naruto." She was blushing now, except it didn't make her look like an idiot. Naruto's heart skipped a beat; Haku was even cuter than Sakura. Thinking of Sakura made Naruto think of Ino, and speaking of Ino…

"Hey, Haku? Um, my friend Ino is throwing this party thing for her boyfriend's birthday or something," Naruto fiddled with his pen, spinning it across the countertop, "I mean, I think he's still her boyfriend, Sai's kinda a weirdo. Anyway I-" His pen snapped, sending ink pooling across the counter.

Haku laughed and put a finger to his lips, effectively shushing him. "I would love to go to a party with you, Naruto."

Naruto could barely contain his grin for the rest of the study session. Wait until Sasuke and Sakura heard about this.

_ _ _ _ _

Sasuke leaned back in his seat, arms crossed behind his head, wearing his customary Disaffected Scowl. Naruto, who sat next to him, was doodling on what was supposed to be his History homework. Sasuke leaned over to look at the drawings, desperately trying to avoid the kisses Karin was blowing at him from across the cafeteria.

Naruto's tongue was hanging out as he intently scribbled spirals and little stick figure ninjas.

"That's not half bad, Naruto." Sasuke glanced up, disinterested, to see Sai and Ino setting their trays down across the able.

"Thanks, Sai!" Naruto beamed. Sasuke snorted; couldn't Naruto tell Sai was lying through his teeth?

"Hey, Naruto," Ino said, picking at her salad, "I was thinking. You should take someone to my party. You know, to show Sakura you aren't totally whipped."

Sasuke allowed himself a small smile; many others would call the expression a smirk. Sai nodded sagely and added, "You're such a pussy when it comes to Sakura, Naruto."

"Fuck you." Naruto was beet red. "I'm totally over her now."

"Good." Ino grinned in a way Sasuke could only describe as predatory. "I suggest Hinata. She's totally into you, you know."

"Hinata?" Naruto seemed perplexed, as if Hinata was a totally foreign concept. God, Naruto was such a moron. "She doesn't like me. Besides, I'm already bringing someone. Her name is Haku and she doesn't go here. She's in college." He grinned, looking irritatingly smug.

"Moron," Sasuke said under his breath. He hadn't even thought that Naruto knew girls out of school. That Haku person was probably an old woman or something. Sasuke stood up, dumping his mostly uneaten food in the trash. Annoyingly, nobody noticed him leave because they were too busy interrogating Naruto about that Haku girl. Nobody was too busy for Sasuke

Sasuke wandered his way outside where he was joined a few minutes later, to his increasing irritation, by Sai. Sai leaned against the school's brick wall, and smiled in a disturbingly sweet way. Why was he so damn happy all the time?

"So, Uchiha, who are you taking to Ino's party?" Sasuke wondered that if he ignored the question long enough Sai would go away. After employing this strategy for a few minutes with no effect, Sasuke gave in with a sigh.

"No one." Sasuke muttered, patented Uchiha glare fixed on Sai.

Sai seemed unaffected, and stared at him incredulously. "No one. Wow, you are gay, aren't you?"

Sasuke stared at Sai. "What."

"I mean, I always thought so…have you even kissed a girl?" Sasuke thought about it. He had kissed Naruto by accident in middle school, but he was pretty sure Naruto was a certified male. And, well, there hadn't been anyone since, except Itachi, but he had been about five. Not to mean there hadn't been propositions; Karin practically tried to rape him on a daily basis.

So Sasuke hadn't kissed a girl. But that didn't mean anything. He could totally get laid if he wanted to. But the thing was Sasuke didn't want to.

Oh God. Maybe he was gay.

Sai nodding sympathetically put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "It's okay, Sasuke. Sex with women isn't all it's cracked up to be. I remember the first time with Ino…"

Sasuke almost died a little inside. "You've had sex. With Ino." What the fuck? Not only did he have no experience whatsoever, Sai was getting laid? But now he was curious. What was kissing, not to mention sex, like?It seemed unhygienic and messy for the most part; not appealing at all.

"It's all just a waste of time. Besides, I doubt you're an expert."

Sai just smiled again. "Compared to you I am. But don't worry; I'm sure you're not too bad in bed."

That was going too far; Sasuke's pride was wounded. He was an Uchiha, and as such was a born genius, with unparalleled skills and talents. With only restoring his bruised ego in mind, Sasuke grabbed a startled Sai and kissed him.

Kissing Sai was odd. Enjoyable, certainly, but odd. It was if Sasuke forgot that the lips against his belonged to irritating, perfect-skin, always-smiling Sai. And those lips felt fantastic.

Sasuke's eyes jerked open in surprise (when exactly had he closed them?) as Sai suddenly leaned in, fiercely reciprocating the kiss. Sai's tongue snaked across Sasuke's bottom lip and he shivered at the sensation. He felt Sai's hands on his stomach, hands that were sure of what they doing, unlike his own which fluttered nervously at his sides.

Sai broke away all too soon, smiling impassively. Sasuke scowled, pulse racing, hating the blush that spread across his face. "You're not too bad, Uchiha, but there's definitely room for improvement."

Sasuke stared, open-mouthed and lips tingling, at Sai's retreating sickeningly chiseled back as he sauntered away.

The bell rang, and Sasuke got to his feet, glowering. This was war.

_ _ _ _ _

That night, after hours of tutoring, college-induced stress, and General Hideousness, Haku was more than ready to soak in the tub, vanilla scented bubbles and classical music included.

The last thing Haku wanted to do was explain to Naruto why he peed with the toilet seat up. But oh, well. That was a problem for another day.