The Confused Adventures of Thunderclan
Disclaimer: We don't own any songs mentioned, and we don't own warriors. Only our sugar highs that inspired us. And our frozen yogurt, which is in the freezer.
--This story is written by both Centrinity(me) and xxbluewingsxx(BW)(she's sitting right beside me, eating her lovely frozen yogurt)-
The Dance Party
Centri: Welcome to……………………………..
BW:….Centri…..
Centri: oh…yeah…This story!
BW: We are at Centri's house eating FROZEN YOGURT!
Centri: No, YOU'RE eating frozen yogurt.
BW: Because I'm on lent and can't eat chocolate!
Centri: True. Story?
BW: Story.
Once upon a time, Firestar was going for a walk with his girlfriend, Greystripe.
BW: Graystripe's a man!!!
Centri: Oh yeah…. Wasn't it supposed to be Spottedleaf?
BW: Or was it his wife Sandstorm?
Centri: He's allowed to have ex-girlfriends!!
BW: Oh, yeah, right. Back to his walk.
Firestar was going for a walk with his girlfriend, Frostfur. As they were walking across the Riverclan border, Whiteclaw jumped out of the river.
BW: Hey! Whiteclaw's dead! No one liked him! He stays dead!
Centri: Get out of my chair!
As they were walking across the Riverclan border, Mistyfoot was fishing across the river. "Hey Fireheart!" she called.
"Dude! It's FireSTAR! Get it right, dude."
"Yeah, dude!" Frostfur copied. "He's been Firestar for two moons already!"
"Dude, dude is my word. Don't copy me. We are SO over."
"Fine! I never liked you anyway!" Frostfur bawled, while running away.
"That reminds me of a song…." Mistyfoot commented, then began singing. "I know a girl who's obsessed with a guy. She talks for hours—"
"Dude, not now. I need to find Graystripe and talk to him about this horrible incident." Firestar interrupted.
Centri: Graystripe is his best confidant? Cool.
BW: Well in the story, he's not married to Sandstorm yet.
Centri: They get married?
BW: Well, a cat-ish marriage.
Centri: Oh.
Firestar walked into the camp. "Clan, we are having a meeting!" Randomly, as he passed Dustpelt on his way to the highrock, he commented, "Dude, Frostfur copied my dude thing!"
Dustpelt gasped in disbelief. "Not your dude thing! That's HORRIBLE! She must be punished!"
"She's copied your DUDE thing?! Oh my Starclan!!" Graystripe gasped.
Firestar looked about to cry. "I know." He sobbed. "So, to make me feel better…we're going to have an all clan party!"
"I'll get the frozen yogurt!" Sandstorm yowled happily, running into the warrior den.
Centri: Frozen yogurt?
BW: Dude, I'm out of frozen yogurt. Someone has to bring it.
Centri: BW…There's some in the….the….the…Freezer! That's it!
BW: There's a lot of 'e's in freezer…
Centri: I know, eh?
"I'll get Windclan!" Brackenfur called. He ran out of camp.
"And I'll get Riverclan!" Cloudtail yowled. He ran out of camp also.
"Ah, rats, that means I have to get Shadowclan." Longtail complained.
"Not necessarily." Firestar said mysteriously. He grinned. "Mousefur will do it!"
"No!" She cried. She slammed her paw against a rock. "Ow! I need medical attention!"
"Shoot. Now we need someone else who's as quiet as a mouse…" Firestar stated.
"I'll do it! I'll do it!" Cinderpelt was jumping up and down with her paw raised and waving wildly.
"Someone who can be in and out in the blink of an eye…" He continued.
"I can, I can!" She cried again.
"You're a cripple." He looked down on her in disdain, and then turned to Fernpaw. "Fernpaw will do it."
"I'll be as sneaky as a spy!" she stated proudly.
"I was thinking more along the lines of a hermit…but a spy will work."
She quickly left, headed for the Shadowclan border.
BW: Dude…………
Centri: What?
BW: I don't know. Let's get back to the story.
Throughout the forest a pulsing beat could be heard from the depths of the Thunderclan territory. More specifically, the Thunderclan camp. It was bursting with crowds of cats, all dancing to "Smack that".
BW: Smack that –slaps knees- All on the floor. Smack that –slaps knees- Give me some more. Smack that –slaps knees- Till you get sore. Smack that –slaps knees-
Centri: BW, we're trying to write a story.
BW: Right. My bad. Just way too tempting.
Shady
Convict
Up front
Akon
Slim Shady
I see the one
cuz she be that lady
Graystripe was dancing with Willowpelt. Mousefur was with Swiftpaw. Mudclaw was, in turn, with Ashfoot. Darkstripe was with…. Longtail… Firestar was traveling between she-cats trying to find a replacement for Frostfur. Who hadn't shown up. Suspiciously, Tigerstar wasn't there either…
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
BW: Dun, Dun DUN!!!!!!!
Centri: BW!!
BW: Dude…Darkstripe is gay….
Centri: Who cares, he's evil anyway.
BW: Longtail isn't though…
Centri: Yeah, but he becomes old later on.
BW: No, he became blind.
Centri: Whatever. Let's write.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.
Sandstorm's tail was the only thing showing from a giant bucket of frozen yogurt. Runningnose was trying—Unsuccessfully—To sing along with the music. All the cats around him were yowling for him to shut up, while cringing and covering their ears. Then he sneezed and blew snot all over them. They all left the party temporarily, to clean themselves. They consisted of Blackfoot, Littlecloud, Bramblepaw, Brightheart, and Shadepelt.
Up front style. Ready to attack now.
Pull in the parking lot slow with the lack down.
Convicts got the whole thing packed down.
Step in the club. The wardrobe intact now.
I feel it. Go on and crack now.
Ooh, I see it. Don't let back now.
Im'a call her. Then I put the mack down.
Money? No problem. Pocket full of that now
Centri: Um, dude, Shadepelt isn't known.
BW: Well, he is now. Or is he a she? Lemme check.
Centri: Okay.
BW: Dude, he's a she.
Centri: Really? Didn't know that. Anyway….
BW: Now we know.
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
Suddenly, Tigerstar walked into the camp. The music froze, and everyone gasped in surprise. Oddly enough, Darkstripe was the loudest gasper. "Dude, I brought Ravenpaw, Barley and…." He stepped to the side. "Princess."
"Dude…you say dude too?" Firestar said.
"Dude, I am a dude."
"Sweet!" Then something seemed to dawn on him. "Dude, you, like, didn't touch Princess in anyway did you? Because if you did, I may have to kill you. And I don't want to be the only dude dude around here."
"Dude, she's almost a grandma!" Tigerstar said, disgusted.
"True. Come on in!" He yowled, just as the music started back up again.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh
Centri: Umm…. when is this chapter gonna end?
BW: When "Smack that" is over.
Centri: Got'cha.
-BW is in the background singing to "It's not over"-
Ooh! Looks like another club banger.
They better hang on.
When I throw this thang on.
Get a little drink on. They goin' flip.
For this Akon shit. You can bank on it.
Pedicure, manicure, kitty cat claws.
The way she climbs up and down them poles.
Lookin' like one of them Pretty Cat Dolls.
Tryna hold my woody back through my drawers
The five cats that had been snotted on returned now and began dancing to the music. Firestar was still traveling between she-cats, trying to find a girlfriend, while Tigerstar already had a crowd gathering and fawning over him. Some of them being the deceased Yellowfang, Bluestar and Spottedleaf.
"SPOTTEDLEAF?!?!?!?!?!" Firestar screamed in disbelief. "How COULD you?!" He wailed.
Spottedleaf turned. "Well…He IS the evil cat. And evil tom cats are always better."
Firestar drew himself up. "All right then." He turned to Tigerstar and turned old English like. "I challenge you to a duel!"
Cats nearby gasped. There hadn't been a duel in over a hundred years! Aka: Two days.
Steps off stage, didn't think I saw her.
Creeps up behind me and she's like, you're -
I'm like, yeah I know, let's cut to the chase.
No time to waste. Back to my place.
Plus from the club to the crib's like a mile away.
Or more like a palace, shall I say.
And plus I got a pal. Every gal is game.
In fact he's the one singing the song that's playing!
BW: Dance off!
Centri: That's what I was thinking!
BW: Great minds think alike.
Centri: Of course, because they are great.
BW: And if they weren't great, they wouldn't think alike!
Centri: Back to the story, Great mind!
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
"What kind of duel?" Tigerstar asked, slipping a paw away from behind a random she-cat, who happened to look a lot like Spottedleaf.
"A Dance off." Firestar declared, eyes alight with…. something…. some sense of…victory…or triumph…. or failure…No, it was definitely victory.
"It's agreed!" Tigerstar yelled valiantly, shaking paws with his opponent, who was, of course, Firestar.
"The kits—Rainkit, Sootkit and Sorrelkit—Will judge." Firestar laid down the terms, which were readily agreed.
Sorrelkit ran into the middle of the clearing. "Duel!" She yelled to start them off.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh
BW: Who's gonna win?
Centri: Shut up, and you'll find out!
Eminem's rollin', D an' them rollin'.
Boo an' Oh Marvelous an' them rollin'.
Women just hoin'.
Big booty rollin'.
Soon I be all in them an' throwin D.
Hittin' no less than 3.
Block will style like wee, wee.
Girl, I can tell you want me, 'cause lately
Tigerstar began waving his arms in the air very slowly. Like you would associate with the "Graduation" song by Vitamin C. Firestar began turning slowly back and forth, slightly hunched over, with stiff forelegs. Like you would associate with the song…umm…."Leaving on a jet plane" by Janis Joplin. Well, sort of.
Ravenpaw looked at Barley, promptly exclaiming, "Let's kick it old school." They gave a short nod to each other and walked into the middle of the clearing and… well, kicked it old school.
BW: Like White Chicks!
As the end of the allotted time approached, the kits began agreeing. "We decided on the winner!" Rainkit said.
"Ravenpaw and Barley!" Announced Sootkit.
Sorrelkit went over and gave them their gold medals.
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me
The rest of the cats continued dancing, while Tigerstar and Firestar squabbled over Spottedleaf like kits. Until the end of the party, when all the cats had to leave. But, they would meet again at the gathering in two days.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore,
smack that, oooh
BW: Look-At-The-Pic-Ture.
Centri: BW…they can't see it….
BW: Oh. Well, that concludes this chapter.
Centri: See you all at the gathering! If we get any reviews…
BW: And we regain our energy.
Centri: Yup. Anyway, off to find sugar! Let's go!
-The two march out on a sugar hunting mission-