Title: How to Catch 'Straight' a Guy
Genre: Romance/ Humor
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I no own
Note: This fic is AU, has OOC, Yaoi, Yuri, and some odd couples. Pairings include: 1x2, 3x4, 5xR and various others. If you are uncomfortable with any of those this is not the fic for you.
PROLOGUE
I suppose you could say that it all began the last day of spring break of junior year. My family and I were driving home from the supermarket, and that's when I first laid eyes on him. The car was parked at a red light and he was riding his bike to an unknown destination. He was wearing a loose green tank top and black basket ball shorts, his clothing showed off the right amount of muscles.
His hair was a dark, chocolate brown and windblown. It mostly covered his face, so I couldn't tell what color his eyes were, but it didn't matter. He was handsome, and I'm sure I openly gawked at him in awe. I probably drooled a bit too. I wanted to tell my mom to just let me out the car right there, just so I could follow him into the subdivision he was headed towards.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Once the light turned green he disappeared from my sight.
"That guy was pretty hot," My younger sister, Hilde, commented once the car began to move again.
I almost nodded in agreement. He was very hot indeed.
In case you're wondering, my name is Duo Maxwell. I'm currently seventeen years old and stand at a proud five feet and seven inches tall. What I lack in height I make for in length – hair length that is. I have a three foot long braid.
One thing you should know is that I never tell a lie. No fooling, I was kind of brainwashed by my parents about it as a child. Liars are the ultimate sinners and go directly to hell. Pretty sick and twisted thing to tell an impressionable seven year old, but I digress. My motto is "I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie." That's me in a nutshell.
So what am I forgetting here? Ah, my eyes are a sort of cobalt, although everyone swears that they're lavender. I really don't see it. My face is a bit of a heart-shape, and my nose is a little crooked due to breaking it about three times.
All in all I'm a sexy beast; just about every girl wants me. And hey, if I were into them like that then I'd so want them to scream my name as they writhed beneath me. Unfortunately for them I'm about as straight as the letter 'S'. That's right folks, I am a homosexual! I'm queer and here, get used to it. I'm actually pretty damn proud of myself for it too.
There's just one problem that I have. See, I have this crush on this guy. A really good looking guy, and kind that's popular to boot. The problem? I'm pretty sure that he's straight. Typical, huh?
Woe is me!
However, I have great, marvelous, fantastic, and brilliant idea of a plan. I dub this plan "How to Catch a 'Straight' Guy". And I'm pretty sure that I WILL succeed, because Due Maxwell does not know failure. AHAHA.
Originally Posted: 10/20/07
Edited and Reposted: 7/21/11