My eyes stung, like I hadn't slept for days; My head felt heavy so I layed down on My desk. After what felt like a half an hour but must have been only a few minutes of wallowing in self pitty I heard the annoying noises and random voices of everyone stop, and heard the teachers voice boom over the almost deafening silence.
"This is Jennifer, from Puerto Rico, she's new here, welcome her with open arms." she said in a tired voice that sounded like she couldn't care less if she was introducing a 5 foot pink elephant that had just casually walked into the class. ... I looked at her and suddenly didn't feel tired anymore; The new girl was... well, let's just say she was bewitching, from the caramel color of her skin, to the thick, dark curls that feel to the side of her face... From that cute little beauty mark that was placed on the corner of the cheek. I really thought she was fascinating in every way...from the way she walked to how she nervously smiled when the teacher pointed her to her seat. Looking down trying to hide herself off from everyone, looking afraid and a bit sad.
I found myself unable to take my eyes off of her for the rest of the period. ... When I walked into the cafeteria, I had gotten my food and was getting ready to leave when I saw Jennifer sitting there all alone... weird. I though to himself, why would someone like 'her', not have anyone to sit with? ..., so I took the opportunity to walk over and introduce myself to her;I sat down and she kinda jumped as if it was a shock to her that I was there,
"You probably don't want to do that." she said in a low but a bit angry tone. "why wouldn't I want to sit next to a beautiful girl?" I asked. Her face lit up at that, I LOVED it. ... "well; it's just that... well, no one really likes me here... It's like they try to break you down to your last resort to where you start to believe what they are saying." she stammered, her eyes watering. "I know how you feel, I mean I know that everyone says that but I really mean it, they were just as bad to me, but after a while, you learn to tune it out and that your better than that." I smiled and her eyes lit up, I could have died from how radiant it was... =).
We talked for the next half an hour about basically anything and everything. Her school before Degrassi, her teachers she had now, video game, etc. ... It was weird, it was unlike talking to Fiona, or anyone else in the world for that matter. Sadly lunch came to an end.
The rest of the day I was practically floating on air, until after geometry. ... I was just walking to the mens room when Jennifer came rushing past me, with tears and mascara running down her face, clutching her books to her chest and slamming the door behind her...
I knew what I should do; I should just walk away right now and let everything be the way it was before, she most likely didn't feel like talking to me anyway; I looked at the sign nailed to the door, (girls), ... I would just go in there, see how she is and go. .. I stared at the sign once again, inhaled, and proceeded to walk in.
When I walked in the first thing I heard was sobbing, very intense sobbing, I then saw Jennifer through the bottom of the stall sitting on the floor crying in the fetal position, I lightly knocked on the stall door and the crying immediately stopped. And the room grew really silent as if she were afraid that she would be heard by someone other than me, someone that she was scared of. "Jennifer, ..., it's just me" i felt stupid as soon as i said that , me, I me she probably doesn't recognize my voice by heart. "Adam?" ... I guess she did.
"Yeah, you ok?" ... She didn't respond, she just unlocked the stall and crawled to where I was standing...
I looked at her and felt my eyes water, I ended up sitting next to her where she was and wrapped my arm around her,she leaned her head against my shoulder and burst into tears, telling me that these girls locked her in a storage closet, she heard them saying all these things about her, calling her ugly, stupid, fat, everything that she was not.
When she decided to defend herself, they hurt her, real bad... I had just only noticed when she told me that one of the girls had took one of the box cutters from the closet they locked her in and cut her; that there was blood dripping from her arm and from the side of her face. I was disgusted, and I wished that there was something I could do help her. She looked around just then and her eyes slightly widened; "What is it?" I asked her, concerned. ...
"Oh Adam I'm sorry, I just realized your not supposed to be here." It took me a while to register what she was saying, realizing we were in the girls room. I looked down at the floor and felt myself swallowing back a lump in my throat. I figured to repel her away from me now, before I became too attached; As if it wasn't already too late for that.
"Technically, I am... You see.." I grabbed my head trying to come up with a way that she would understand it, "Im.. I'm a female to male trans gender..." I would have continued but I was just too, I don't know, scared, nervous. So I stopped there and looked up at her reaction. She looked confused, and deep in thought and stayed like that for a while. Finally, she looked up.. but still didn't say anything to me. I couldn't stand the silence. "I know this is a lot to take in and I would totally get if you don't like me or be around me anymore, kinda..." I sighed. She just sat there looking at me, she didn't scream or call me a freak, she just kept on staring... I was trying to read what was going through her mind at the moment, how she was processing all of this, but before I could even think correctly, she did something that I thought I imagined at first but no, It was pure, and real... She turned so that she was looking directley at me, into my eyes, even with make-up and tears running down her face she still looked beautiful, and then she gently placed her hand on the back of my head, smoothing my hair between her fingers, leaned in, closed her eyes and lightly kissed me. Then she looked at me and smiled, and kissed me again, this time it was longer and more passionate...