"Falling. Yes I am falling. And she keeps calling me back again."
Ever since we were little kids playing in our yards I was always enamored by her. Every giggle she made, the sweet lilt of her voice, the innocent eyes she would smile at you through, the way everyday was dull, forgettable, and merely bearable until the moment she came in and lit everything up like the sun, and then your day was bright, vibrant, and you never wanted it to end.
When she was at the tender age of seven, and I was eight we went wandering through the deep trees in my backyard. The foliage was green, like my eyes she told me, and it was sparkling in its liveliness, I had told her. I always had quite the vocabulary, even at eight. We spent an hour jumping over branches, stepping over stones, admiring the wilderness around us. I held her hand as she began tripping, relishing in the warmth she radiated. That day we stumbled upon a beautiful meadow. It had violet flowers peppered everywhere, the grass was even greener than before. Impeccibly so. I gazed at her face as she looked on at the field in awe. I hoped that someday she would look at me that way.
Ever since that day we went there every saturday morning.
On her tenth birthday instead of having a party with the few people she communicated with in school she invited me to come with her, and her parents to see Disney on Ice in Seattle. I was already eleven, in middle school and missing her terribly. I had no interest in other friends, and was quite the loner. I disregarded the fact I absolutely loathed all things Disney, and went along without complaint. Once again, as she grinned and watched the beast turn into a man again, I hoped she would smile at me that way one day. That was the first time I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She probably saw it as a sign of affection from her brother/best friend. I saw it as me trying to evoke the butterflies I felt in her mere prescence onto her.
It was on her thirteenth birthday that I was no longer allowed in her room when her father was home. Of course, I understood. I was having some...unsavory thoughts about her. I was in the midst of puberty with a beautiful best friend, could you really blame me?
She was furious though. I blamed it on the hormones, and PMS. We rarely saw each other enough as it was. I had just started the ninth grade in high school, and apparently some of the girls found I had "grown out of my childness." It was true, I had grown several inches, and my cheeks went from baby fat to what my mother called "chiseled cheek bones." However, it only made my best friend, and hopeful lover scowl.
"You're way too tall now. I have to stretch my neck to see your face." She complained with her narrowed eyes.
My shoulders slumped, I had hoped she would find me more attractive now that I had gotten older. I ignored the pain in my chest, and gently teased her about her younger age. I kept to myself the remark I really wanted to make. This height gives me a great view of your breasts when you where that blue v-neck sweater I love so much.
Hey, I may have been infatuated with her and respected her with all my heart, but I was still a teenage boy.
It was the summer before she entered high school when I got invited to the "It" party of the year. I barely even talked to anyone aside from my lab partner in science. I asked her to come with me. I told her I didn't want to be the awkward loner guy, but really I just wanted to experience my first party with her. I wanted to experience everything with her. Hell, I wouldn't even watch a movie with my father when he asked. I had to ask her to come over first.
Yeah, I was so whipped and she didn't even know it.
When we arrived at the party music was blasting obscenely, people sipped alcohol in red plastic cups, and more than half of the crowd were grinding on the poor excuse of a dancefloor. Bella clung to my side nervously, and with my heart stuttering in my chest I wrapped an arm around her small shoulders. She shrunk into me, and I smiled in exultation.
After mulling around for a couple minutes I asked her if she wanted to dance. It took much persuasion on my part, but she finally aquiesced.
Instead of grinding or anything that involved letting my, cough,...other head take control, I placed my hands comfortably on her waist. She slowly placed her hands around my neck, and we swayed. It didn't matter we were completely off beat to the music, or that we stood out to everyone else. As long as I had her in my arms I didn't care.
Our eyes were locked and I hesitantly leaned my head down. Her eyes grew wider, but before I could chicken out she leaned foward a bit on her toes. My lip curled a bit in the hint of a smile. Our lips met shyly, chastely. We remained frozen for a couple seconds, none of us having any experience in this, until I slowly moved my lips against hers. Her lips followed mine.
It was like a wildfire throughout my body. I felt too hot. Sweat began forming on the back of my neck. I completely lost it when her hands went into my messy hair. I gripped her waist tighter, and crushed her against me. Her hands tightened in my hair, pulling my face closer to her. I slanted my head slightly for a better angle, and pressed my lips more firmly against hers.
That was ten years ago. And now as I reflect before I step onto the miniscule stage before me, my heart swells with the amount of love I have had for this woman my whole life. She had it, quite literally, at first glance.
"Mr. Cullen, its time for you to go on." The stage manager interupts my musings, giving me a weird look. Probably because of the chesire cat grin I'm now sporting.
Once I step on the stage with my guitar, and immediately I look out into the dim pub audience. This has been what my nights consisted of every weekend lately. It wasn't easy trying to make it as a musician.
Taking a seat on the conveniently placed stool I adjust the mic and my guitar. Looking more thoroughly into the crowd I find the brown eyes of my muse, my love.
"Thank you for coming tonight. This first song isn't an original from me, but it's dedicated to someone very special sitting in this very place." I smiled into the microphone. Throwing a wink at her from where I was perched I delved into her song. Although it was slightly altered.
"I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
That we'd just met, she's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met
Na na na na na na
Had it been another day
I still wouldn'thave looked the other way
But I had never been more aware
And as it is I dream of her tonight
Na na na na na na
Falling, yes I have fallen
And she keeps calling me back again,"