AN: Hi, Marvel world! This is my first ever Marvel fic, so yay! I love the Marvel verse and I love this pairing. I haven't read the comics but I was super happy when I found out they were canon in the comics, I hope they're canon in MCU as well so here's just a little something. There are some lines in here from the comics, I'm sure comic book readers or people like me who have seen those line often online will recognize them otherwise no warnings, enjoy the fluff.
He hadn't remembered how much he missed this. He was lying in bed with Natalia's arms wrapped around his waist and her head on his chest while her breathing remained steady with sleep. He hadn't remembered how good it felt to be wrapped up in a body warmer than himself, how safe it felt. But then again he hadn't remembered a lot of things up until six months ago and it was hard to miss something you didn't remember. However, the memories did come back. Not just of Steve and their friendship and fighting in the war together side by side or of all the missions he had completed as the Winter Soldier and all the horrible things he'd done but also of Natalia. She and Steve were bright spots in a sea of darkness for him. He had known about Steve, had read about them, so when the memories came back he wasn't shocked or surprised; more relieved that he remembered for himself rather than just taking a museum exhibit's word for it. Natalia had been a pleasant surprise.
He couldn't really understand the memories at first. All he got were flashes of red hair, ballet rooms, gunfire and warmth, lots of warmth. Then it became clearer and he remembered training her, working together as partners, he remembered compromising himself by falling in love with her. He remembered feeling lighter and happier than he ever had since his time as an asset. He remembered the feel of her skin against his: so warm, so inviting against his perpetual cold. He remembered the way she smiled at him, the way she looked at him and the feeling that welled up in his chest when he looked at her. He remembered lying in bed not knowing where he began and where she ended and feeling like he could shut the whole world out and it'd be okay because he had her. He remembered thinking he could have a happy ending with her. He had forgotten what he was, what she was, where they were, who they worked for and had foolishly hoped. Here he was hoping again but this time they were free, at least a lot freer than they were before, they were together again and god was she warm.
He could feel her stir a bit in his arms before her hand that had previously been on his chest reached up to cup his neck, her warmth seeping into that spot on his skin.
"Why are you awake? I thought I tired you out pretty good." She said in a voice heavy with sleep. They could afford the luxury of sleeping soundly seeing as how they lived in Stark Tower and the placed was secured and fortified to the teeth what with all the threats out there against them all. He chuckled as his mind caught up with her words.
"You certainly tried very hard."
"I didn't hear you complaining then."
"And I'm not complaining now."
"Still doesn't explain why you're up."
"I was just thinking."
"Dangerous thing for you to be doing." She replied, teasingly. He smiled a bit in response.
"And just what were you thinking about?"
"This, you, us. I didn't know how much I missed this. Being alone with you, having you in my arms, safe and warm. So warm." He felt Natalia shifting and he looked down to see her staring up at him, her face devoid of the various masks she usually wore. They weren't in public, it was just them in this moment, just him and her, and they could be themselves in front of each other.
"I missed it too, James. You have no idea how much it hurt not being with you or seeing you but it not being you, you not remembering."
"I'm sorry." She rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly at that like she always did when he apologized for not being with her over the years or for the state of things when they did meet like when they saw one another again in Odessa and that day on the bridge.
"Stop apologizing. It wasn't your fault. You didn't remember and you were following orders. I understand that, you know I do."
"Still doesn't change what I did." He replied, his metal hand lightly tracing the scar from when he shot her on the bridge. She shivered slightly at the cold metal making contact with her shoulder but didn't pull away.
"No, it doesn't change it but it doesn't mean I'm upset about it or angry. You're a good man, James." He scoffed slightly while shaking his head.
"Not really, no. But you're the only one who understands that, Natalia." She smiled at him in response.
"You're the reason I got through this. If it wasn't for you I'd probably have put a bullet in my head to shut the ghosts up."
"You wouldn't have. You had Steve."
"I did, once I stopped running from him, but I don't know if it would've been enough. The both of you saved me." She leaned up and pressed her lips lightly to his own. A kiss most wouldn't associate with trained assassins such as themselves but they could just be with each, they could be human and in need a gentle touch every once in a while.
"I love you, moya teplo." Natalia smiled at his nickname for her, my warmth.
"I love you too, moya soldat." He smiled at hers. It wasn't always something he was proud of but he was happy to be her soldier, always and forever. He pulled her closer to him, reveling in the warmth and the safety of her arms and fell into a sleep that as of late had been a lot more peaceful and he knew it was thanks to her, his Natalia.