Disclaimer: I don't own either of these characters, or the song that I took inspiration from.
Authors Note: This is my entry for Slytherin Head's Music Box competition. I picked the number 25, and was given the song Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson. Since I don't really like Kelly Clarkson, I didn't actually listen to the song, instead looked up the lyrics and wrote a fic based on the lyrics. I have no idea what the song is actually like. If I misinterpreted, I'm sorry. I was going to make this a multichapter and submit on the original deadline of the 26th of July, but I fail and life got in the way, so I never even started before the original deadline. So when Slytherin Head decided to be awesome and extend the deadline. . .I procrastinated some more until today. I found I didn't have the inspiration for a multi-chapter any more, and settled for a one-shot. I only proofread this once before posting, so if there are any mistakes I missed, I'm sorry. I've never written Lupin/Tonks before, not sure if I got character details right or not, I probably made Lupin too angsty, if I did let me know. Set before they got together, so vaguely OotP-ish? I'm not good with specific times, sorry :/ So yea, read, review, enjoy. The last two don't necessarily need to be in that order ;) This is my second ever fanfic, please be gentle with me.
Remus flopped onto the sofa, running a hand through his hair wearily. When was the last time he had showered? Or slept? Or eaten, for that matter? He couldn't remember. His wand was still in his hand after his run in with that Death Eater group, and he dropped it onto the worn coffee table in front of him before sitting back, enjoying the moments rest. His sleeve was singed, the burn underneath felt raw and stung where the fabric of his shirt touched it. He plucked at his sleeve irritably, pulling it away from the burn, and propped his head up on his other hand, his elbow balanced on the arm of the sofa. His eyelids were drooping, the heat from the fire crackling merrily in the hearth was deliciously warm, the musty smell of the old, unlived-in house had started to fade since Molly had started her rampage against the dust and dirt of the place, Kreacher was muttering darkly elsewhere in the house, and the lumpy sofa was starting to feel softer and more comfortable the longer he sat on it. He shifted his position slightly, slouched lower onto the sofa, resting the back of his head against the back of the sofa but keeping himself propped up with his jaw on his hand.
He barely registered someone entering the room, his eyelids had shut themselves and he had started to snore lightly. It was only when whoever-it-was plonked themselves down on the sofa next to him did he start awake, grabbing for his wand. He scowled as he patted his pockets and found nothing, having forgotten where he was. It slowly came back to him as he looked up, at the old tapestry opposite, then at who had sat next to him. Tonks was staring at him with a mix of amusement and concern, and was holding out a wand to him. A quick glance at the table told him it was his, and he took it from her, sheepishly shoving it into a pocket. "You know you haven't been getting enough sleep when you can't hear Molly yelling about dinner." She commented drily, watching him sit up and rub his eyes with the heels of his hands. She took his hand in hers and his chest tightened, his heart rate picking up speed as she gently turned his hand palm up. Her grip tightened when he tried to pull away, and he was about to protest when she yanked his sleeve up past his elbow. He winced as his sleeve dragged along the burn, making a hissing noise between his teeth as pain flared up his arm with the sudden motion.
Tonks scrutinised it with an inexperienced eye, her training hadn't included much on healing, and she only deemed wounds to be serious when the wounded party couldn't move unaided. She probed the burn gently, making Remus jerk his arm back and twisting it so he could look at the injury himself. "It's not even blistered," he mumbled, trying to ignore the tingles on the unburnt skin where she had touched him. He tried to draw back as she reached for his arm again, and found he had nowhere to go, he was already sitting back, his side was rammed against the arm of the sofa. She wrapped her slim fingers around his wrist, laughing and telling him to "stop being such a big baby" as she drew her wand from a pocket of her robes. He felt his heartbeat pick up again, thundering in his chest, and the tingling increased with the feel of her hand around his wrist. He frowned slightly, more at himself than at her. Stop it, Moony. She's almost half your age and you're acting like a lovestruck schoolboy.
His internal scolding stopped as she ran the tip of her wand over the burn, murmuring a spell, and relief spread from where her wand brushed his skin as the spell cooled and healed the burn. He let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding, relaxing against the lumpy cushions and giving her a wan smile. The pressure around his wrist disappeared and he drew his arm back, pulling his sleeve down and checking the cuff of his shirt when he noticed that it felt significantly looser than it had before. Sure enough, the button was missing, and he sat forward, scanning the ground. No sign of the little white button that held the cuff of his shirt closed. He sighed and sat back up, glancing back at Tonks. She was staring at him with an unreadable expression, and he felt his face heat up. What are you blushing at her for, you blithering idiot? His mind snapped at him, and he turned away again, moving so he was sitting on the edge of his seat and clenched both fists to make himself stop fiddling with his shirt cuff.
He was suddenly aware of how close she was, he could almost feel her sitting next to him, he could definitely feel her eyes on his face, and avoided her eye, looking everywhere in the room but directly at her. She sat just in his peripheral vision, still as a statue, turned towards him. He couldn't tell what her expression was like, but his face hadn't cooled enough to turn to her just yet. Gods, he thought his blushing days were over a long time ago, back when he had started to notice girls, and then remember why he couldn't be with any of them. Not even Tonks, who knew about his. . . furry problem. He didn't even know if she felt the same. Who would? Everyone knew that werewolves were monsters, they couldn't be trusted, not even in human form. There was no point in trying to convince himself that she could fall in love with him, not with his kind of flaws. He was too old, nearly twice her age, and the monster in him could only be tamed, it couldn't be removed. He suddenly felt furious with himself for letting himself feel this way, he had given himself a weakness that not even she knew about. She never would, either. It'd be too dangerous for her to be so close to him, the age difference was too wide, and without the Wolfsbane Potion he was dangerous to be around during the Full Moon. No, it'd be safer for her if she never knew about his feelings.
"Remus?" He started again, jerked out of his reverie by a soft voice next to him, and he finally turned to face her, feeling his heart twist at the look in her eyes. She had edged closer to him while he was lost in thought, he could count the freckles on her nose and the lashes that framed her eyes. He felt as if time were slowing down, his arms moved as if through molasses as they moved together, closing the distance between them. His lips had barely brushed hers in the chastest of kisses when he registered footsteps nearing the door of the parlour. He jerked away from Tonks convulsively, standing up just as Sirius poked his head around the door.
"Molly says your dinner's getting cold and you're to get down there before Ron eats it all." He announced with the air of a small child relaying his mothers' message, and gave them a strange look before backing out again, leaving the door open. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb, and glanced at Tonks, before backing away and striding out of the room. What had he been thinking?! Even if she did feel the same, it wouldn't be a good idea to let anything happen. He wouldn't be able to give her everything that she deserved. She couldn't honestly feel the same way about him, with the monster in him barely contained. Could she? He couldn't say for sure.