My first Walking Dead fanfic. I own nothing but the mistakes. I am forever a Caryl lover. I only wish that they end up together.
Carol was coming out of the house early morning, before dawn. Her backpack and coat loaded with what she needed to survive. She did not say goodbye or leave a note for Tobin. She thought about it, but she thought I clean break would be best. She really didn't know him, and she dismissed their relationship as two lonely people with nothing better to do. She did have a letter to leave Rick and the others. She left it on the porch of his house. Most of the people she had known and traveled with were at Rick's and the house next door. She had spent the last few days at Tobin's house. But she thought no one paid attention because so much had happened in past few days with Denise and Negan's men. Everyone had other things on their mind.
As she laid the note on the welcome mat, she saw Daryl pushing his motorcycle toward the gate. Was he doing the same thing as her? Was he leaving? She quietly left the porch and followed him to the gate, but staying out of sight. It was shift change, and there would be a few moments during the exchange that she could slip out without being noticed. But how was Daryl going to get that motorcycle out without unlocking the gate?
While Daryl was arguing with Sasha about leaving, Carol crawled under a hole in the ground under the wall and took off to the house on the other side. Daryl was still talking. She tried to hear him but nothing was audible. Then she heard the gate open and the start of the motorcycle. She ran out to the road just so he would be able to see her. She should have stayed hidden but she wanted to talk to him one more time.
He was on the bike, getting ready to shift it to a gear more when he saw her. He came to a stop.
"What are you doing out here?" he said. The engine still running on the bike.
"I could ask you the same thing, where are you going?" Carol asked.
"I am going to find the guys that killed Denise, and I am going to kill them. And no one is stopping me.", he stated.
"I won't stop you." Carol starred at him trying to memorize his face.
"okay, then why you out here?" Daryl asked
"I am leaving. I don't think I can do it anymore." she said in a low voice.
"What do you mean? " Daryl cut off the engine. "What happened with you? What did they do to you?" He had asked that a couple of days ago, and didn't understand her answer then.
"Daryl, I don't want to kill anymore, and if I stay here, I will. I care too much about these people. I need to go before I kill again." Then Carol walked toward one of the spiked cars.
"No, you can't leave!" Daryl swung his legs off the bike and followed her. "We have to kill in this world. If we don't, we die."
Carol looked up and could see Sasha looking at them both. Soon the whole community would know she was leaving.
Daryl looked up at Sasha and shaking his head, as if to say 'its okay'. "Com'on get on the bike", he say to Carol.
"No! I am leaving and I am not going to kill another person if I can help it." Carol had tears in her eyes.
"Woman, get on my bike now!" That was the first time he had called her 'woman' in a long time. It made Carol smiled a little.
"Sweet talking will get you nowhere Dixon." Carol opened the door of the car and threw her bag in.
"I mean it!" He took his hand and turned her around facing him. In a softer voice he said, "Come with me. I won't go after those guys and we can just get out of this place and talk."
"Too late, I need to go." Carol was about to get inside the car, when Daryl stepped closer and looked her in the eyes.
"Please don't leave." Daryl was very close to her now and she looked into his eyes. He spoke only so she could hear him. "I can't lose you, you are family to me. "
Carol hugged Daryl. She knew he would be the hardest part about leaving. She was happily surprise when he tightly hugged her back and squeezed her. "Don't" he simply said in her ear.
She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. She was crying. This was too much like the time they hugged after the Terminus incident. Her heart was bursting and all the emotions were flowing out in tears. Daryl sighed and wiped her tears with his thumb.
No words were spoken, as he took her hand. She grabbed her backpack and let him lead her to the bike. They climbed on together. And he took off on the road. Carol held on tight as they took off at a crazy speed. She didn't know if he was angry or he just wanted to get away. She let herself enjoy the feeling on holding him. She didn't know what he could say to make her change her mind, but she was enjoy this time together.
Daryl took them over by the quarry where the walkers had been released. There wasn't a walker in sight, but just a big empty quarry. They parked the bike and went over to look the giant hole in the earth. Carol wonder when Rick and the others would find her letter. And if Sasha would let them know she took off with Daryl. Oh well, nothing was going to stop her. Not Rick, not Tobin, and not Daryl.
They walked over to a large rock and sat on top. Their shoulders touch as they watched the sunrise peaking over the quarry.
"Why?" that was all Daryl could get out of his mouth.
Carol sighed. "I have been feeling this way for a while. Remember the night we took off after Beth? I was ready to run that night. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of the things I have done to keep the people I love alive. "
Daryl turned to her and picked up her hand. "Tell me."
Carol didn't want to tell it. As if it would make it so much more real to remember everything again. But she knew she needed to tell him, get it off her chest, like a confession. It would let him understand what a terrible person she had turned into.
She started with Karen and David. And how she fully thought she was saving the group. She wasn't thinking that more would get sick. And later how she understood when Rick banished her from the prison. She was a threat. At least to anyone that could hurt the people she cared about the most.
Then she spoke of when she finally told Tyreese about their deaths, while they were at the tiny home with the girls. Then with tears in her face, she told about Lizzie killing Mika and how she had to kill Lizzie to save Judith and Tyreese and herself. She wanted Tyreese to kill her that night, but he forgave her instead. Still ashamed, she didn't look at Daryl while telling any of this story.
Then her anger toward Morgan because he wouldn't kill. That she wanted to kill Morgan because he was hurting the group by not protecting them. "See what kind of person am I, that I want to hurt someone who wants to keep people alive. I don't like who I have become."
By the end of the story, Daryl had his arms around Carol and soothing her. "It's okay, you did what you had to do. You aren't broken."
They held each other for over an hour before Carol got up and moved off the rock and picked up her bag.
"Where you going?" Daryl asked as he jumped off the rock.
"I cant stay. I need to leave before..." Carol started to walk away.
"Before you save more lives? You have been saving my butt for a while now. And everyone else's. Including Maggie just the other day."
Carol turned and walked to him and gave him one more hug. "You have been so good to me, take care of yourself". Then she pulled away. Daryl held onto to her arm as it slipped out from under his hand. But before her fingers could more across his hand, he pulled her back to him. Their foreheads were touching, "we need you, I need you."
They were so close, and Carol thought this might be her only opportunity to give Daryl a proper kiss. She had kiss his cheek and forehead, but never his lips. It seems like he was thinking the same thing because he moved his face closer to hers. And suddenly they were kissing. Carol thought it would be a sweet chaste kiss, but it lasted longer than that. She step back, but Daryl took her head in his hands and kissed her again. This time more passionately. Carol forgot why she was leaving and continue kissing him. They stood holding each other and kissing each other. Daryl pulled away once to just to say, "please stay."
After what felt like they had spent the day at the quarry, Daryl talked her in to going back to Alexandria. "let's go back and talk to Morgan and Rick, and if you still want to go, then I will go with you."
Carol was speechless. She nodded. All she knew what that she had deep feelings for Daryl and wasn't prepared to leave him. As they drove to gate, they could see the RV getting ready to leave.
Glenn came to the gate, "Maggie is sick, we are headed to the hilltop."
Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know if you would like more.