Woo, a whole new fic by me! Hopefully this one will turn out better than the last one... even though it's like, completely different. Anyways, this one I got the idea for by playing Soul Calibur2 and eating a bag of Extreme Chedar Doritos! Wow, maybe I AM insaine... hmm.. oh well, let's get this started!

Another Contusion, My Funeral Jag

The funeral was held on a sunday, the dreary gray still morning of November ninteenth. This was the first time I had ever been in the Manor's exclusive cemetary, and on such a despressing event. Pitty.

The first time I herd the news, all emotion had been drained out of me. I didn't cry, I didn't even feel anything. Maybe I would never feel again... who knew? The dew in the air filled my tired lungs, the freshness almost made me choke. I coughed a bit then strightened up, agusted the tie that had been cast around my neck. I looked down at the damp watch clipped onto my wrist. 10:00 AM. They should be here soon...

As the guests arrived, I only got more and more anoyed. "I'm sorry for your loss," "This is such a tradgey," "Your parents where such nice people," I knew what they where really saying was, "Is my name in the Will? What did they leave me?" People came I did not even know, allthough, I wasn't very surprised in my father's line of work. My father... my mother...

As they poured into the black iron gate into the until-recently-locked graveyard I just wanted them all to leave, they didn't want to pay them respect, they wanted their stuff. They walked around with artifiscal sarrow. It made me want to kill them all. Just go away... All of them dressed in the blackest of black, tapping the solid black oak coffins saying little prayers and looking around for me. To talk and 'comfort' me. They did no such thing. Funny how people think shaking hands and patting backs make people feel better.

By the time the revren showed up, he took his postition behind the podium dressed in his Godly robes and collar. It made me sick. The two closed coffins resting behind him, just sat there like a thing of the past. Maybe I was a thing of the past. Soon everyone would take what my parents left them and go, and never look back.

Everyone sat down in the little white chairs, stuck in the ground and looked patiently twards the man. He raised the Bible and before he started reading, glanced at me, sitting in the front row. "Please let us aknowlage the pain of the son Angline and Artemis Senior left behind." Everyone turned heads at me. I wanted to disapear. As the people nodded in symphaty the revren continued.

He went on and on about how my parents where good wholesome people who did good for their friends and family. I had to admit, the little show they put on was quite impressive, flowers that I could not identify and pictures of them everywhere. If only it wasn't on the brink of pouring down rain. I hoped it would not rain, then they would go inside. I would not have that happen.

Zoned out of the ceremony, I began thinking. Of when it happened.

One Week Ago...

"There's nothing wrong with expressing how you feel, Artemis." The most recent physiatrist, Dr. Burke had tired to convince him. "Nothing wrong, maybe, but what's the point of expressing yourself if theres nothing to express?" Artemis had retorted. Dr. Burke leaned back in his chair and looked defeated, pitty, it had only been the first ten minutes of the appointment. "This school was designed to help you learn, you cannot learn if your blocking your mind with worries." This almost made Artemis laugh. "There are plenty of things I could say to that comment, Doctor, but-" Artemis was cut off by the anoying beep of Dr. Burke's intercom.

"Doctor, Mister Fowl has a phone call, they say it's urgent." The nurse out side the room informed them. Artemis sat up and stretched his arms. He stood up and looked back at Dr. Burke before leaving. "Until next week, Doctor." Artemis grinned proudly and left the room.

Artemis turned the corner and saw the nurse holding the phone up to her ear. "Yes! I herd you the first time, I allready informed him- - - Stop yelling, he's right here!" She yelled into the reciver and the pratically threw the phone at Artemis.

He raised the phone up to his ear and listened and found a pleasently familier voice. "Artemis? Artemis this is Juliet," Said the shaky nervious girl on the other side of the reciver. "Ah, yes, how have you been? How long has it been since we've-" Artemis was getting anoyed, cut off twice in the last minute.

"Artemis... there's been an acident," Juliet said, it did sound urgent. Artemis lowered his voice greatly and lowered his head.

"What kind of acident?" Artemis said in a gruff voice.

"It's your parents, Artemis, their... they've been... murdered,"

I was thrown back into reality by a man's voice. "Such that is the fate of driving intoxicated..." A car accident?! That's the cover-up their using? I thought disgusted. If only these people knew the truth, they where stabbed,my mother in the stomac, and my father in the right temple. I remember seeing the red-stained blanked throw over the bodies when I got back to my home that night.

The revren carried on with his false sadness until the moment they where all waiting for. He pulled out a long piece of parchment and began going do the will. Once the revren's eyes went over the paper, his face got a very surprised look. It almost made me interested.

"The Will clearly states," He paused agusting the paper, making sure he was reading it right. Everyone in the crowd leaned farward impatiently. Pigs. "It states that all of Angline and Artemis Fowl the second's estate along with their possestions and money... Goes to their son, Artemis Fowl the Third..."

The people gasped, in amazement that out of the things my parents owned, it all went to me. Every single thing. The guests turned their heads in jelously and disgust at me. They growled and taunted me with there stares. I couln't take it anymore.

As calm as I could, I walked up to the podium in front of the on-looking crowd. "You can all leave now. Your presenice has been apprecitaded." I grabbed the paper and bowed my head somberly.

The on-lookers where completely sclient for a very long time. There was no use in more yelling. They wen't going to listen. Not until the rain started that is. My head was bowed still as I waited for their stupid to wash away. It never did. Why wait? There was no point it would be like waiting for everyone else at a dinner table to stop eating so you could leave.

I paused just for one moment before walking down the middle of the rows with the confused guests staring. I didn't look back. When I arrived at the black iron gate, I stopped before openeing it. Just stood there unknowing of the looks the silent crowd was giving me. I wrapped my hand around the latch. Took a deep inhale of moist grey air and squeezed the latch. That was about the time the rain came down.

I flung open the gate and walked out. The people, unprepared yelled and jumped from their seats and ran out of the garden. Twards their expensive enviroment-unfriendly cars. I sighed and watched them all leave, hearing the loud crank of the machine when they lowered the coffins six feet into the soil. Standing on the outside of the cemetary, my head turned just in time to get a last look at their final resting place. Right then and there, I made a promise to myself... I was never to go back into that part of the garden, until it was my turn to be stuck in the dirt. Just like my parents.

By now, the last of the cars speed away from the house and the hired grave-diggers left the cemetary. I was still standing there, holding the gate open. The rain still came down. I was standing in front of the gate, inches from being closed. Somthing stopped me. Somthing made me not push it those extra few inches and close it forever. A cold wind floated by me.

I opened the gate and walked inside the cememtary. That promise I made a few minutes ago could wait until tomorrow.

My feet squished mud and fertilizer and rocks of all sizes out from beneeth the ground as the rain began to erode the surface of the earth and my sanity. I kept walking, my eyes bruned into my skull red and irritated from all the rain.

I came to the small lumps of soil, in the middle of the drenched garden. Two light gray polished stones that read out my parents names. What their names where. Angline Fowl "Such a Kind Woman" Artemis Fowl the Second "A Smart Strong Brave Man"

I stood, the the rain, glaring at the headstones. I hated them. I hated my parents for leaving. Leaving me behind. It was their fault wasn't it? They made enemies. Enemies that killed them. Left me alone forever.

My head drifted downwards, my eyes closed. "Maybe they'll kill me to," I muttered to myself. voice almost downed out by the rain.

My lips curled into a selfish smile. "that'd be nice."

Woohoo. Next chapter coming soon. : )