Lean, by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language

A/N: For shajs on the tumblr/AO3 fic swap ^_^ I wanted to play with concepts and format again. Assumes a previous relationship. This is a stand-alone, not in my Wish You Were Here universe.

"Commander Shepard...Captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel...you're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

My stomach does a flip as Kaidan comes out from around the crates and cuts off the mechanic. I didn't hear the disgusted retort, blood rushing in my ears. Thank god he's alright...Garrus didn't say anything while we frantically fought through the Collectors before we got to this spot, but he knew why I was looking in all the pods and at all the seeker swarm victims. I tried to fight my rising panic the more colonists we found and Kaidan wasn't among them. And now here he is.

Standing in front of me.

I can hardly breathe. Our eyes lock as we shake hands and I'm uncertain as to what to do. It's only been a few weeks for me, but for him it's been two goddamn years. I miss him...miss having him on my six. I miss how I could always find him at that console outside my quarters. How I could always go to him and ask his opinion, him teasingly saying he didn't want to waste my time with personal debriefings. Miss how his eyes crinkle in the corners when he does that shy little smile of his...the softness of his lips. The warmth of his skin against mine. Does he still miss me? Or did he move on with his life?

I see the disbelief, the hurt, and the hope in his eyes, the struggle for him to keep his face neutral. Ever the Alliance officer. I swallow hard when I see him break momentarily and scrunch his eyes closed. He pulls me close and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. Tension uncoils in my gut and I exhale heavily, holding him close and relaxing into his embrace. I can't help but press my lips against his neck, feeling his pulse. It's alive and pounding, almost choking me.

"I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did."

He murmurs in my ear and the words hit me like a ton of bricks. He pulls back a bit; I don't want to let go but I won't stop him. His cheek brushes against mine, my stubble rough against his smooth skin. How I missed this...missed him.

And then, we kiss...

The world stops and time stands still when our lips meet. Elation swims through my body. I crush him against me, drinking in his touch. I feel his fingers in his gauntlets digging at my under-armor between the plates in my hard suit, desperate for more contact. He leans all his weight on me and I happily take it, an echo of countless times on the SR1 when he was seeking comfort or support. We breathe together, heartbeats syncing up and beating as one. The relief is palpable at being together again.

And then, a kiss...

Time froze and the ground spun beneath my feet. Fire raced through my veins when our lips met. Maybe Shepard could feel it; he pressed us together so hard it made me breathless. I leaned against him and lost myself in the kiss. I could hardly believe it...

I poured all the franticness of the past into it, the desperation. The relief at finally seeing him, the happiness of him being alive and well. The uncertainty of hearing it from a friend, a brother's roommate, a person so-and-so works with...never a direct source, that Commander Shepard was seen around Omega, Commander Shepard was alive, Commander Shepard was flying the Normandy under rogue colors...never anything for certain.

Until now.

I didn't know what I would find when I searched out the last area I heard gunfire. Didn't know who Delan was mouthing off to. I had put up with his attitude because I needed his help trying to get the AA gun calibrated, but somehow he always managed to find an excuse to leave in the middle of it for another 'more pressing' matter. This time it actually had been legit, as it turns out. Lilith had been complaining the comm towers were acting fuzzy for the past few days and they finally went dark. Then came the swarms.

I thought I was a goner when the bug-drone had stung me. I couldn't move. Couldn't close my eyes, forced to watch as I failed my cover objective. Protect the colonists. Staff Commander Alenko, hated by the very people he's supposed to help with faulty equipment, and can't even protect himself.

I had yelled internally, hoping against hope that whoever was firing rounds nearby might somehow hear me. I wouldn't allow myself to think of who it might be. The one person who has a knack for delivering miracles. The person I surrendered everything to. I couldn't afford to think like that; he was dead. I heard him die. Those painful gasps, the hiss of oxygen rushing out into the void. Then the silence. The future died with him. My future.

But none of that matters anymore. He's alive, here in my arms. Our breath mingling as one while we kiss, like it did the night before Ilos. The weight of the galaxy was leaning on him that night, and in turn, he reached out for me.

His arms had wrapped around me tightly, drawing me to him. I willingly went to him, my own hands clutching at him that night. Whether life or death awaited us, we didn't know. But we would face it together.

And then, we kissed...