This is my first Gilmore Girls fic, so I would really appreciate it if you review! Tell me what you think. J
Pairing: R/J
Summary: Rory starts to consider her relationship with Dean after finding her bracelet.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. ~*sigh*~
~*~*~*~*~
She couldn't suppress the smile that spread widely over her face as she skipped lightly into her room, clutching her wrist as if she was afraid it might fall off. A huge weight had just been lifted from her chest; all of the knots that had accumulated in her stomach over the past few hours slowly loosened themselves, leaving her feeling limp and exhausted, but inexpressibly happy.
Rory flopped down on her bed, letting waves of relief wash over her. The bracelet she had secured firmly onto her wrist was beginning to bite rather painfully into her skin, but she ignored it. Smiling, she held it up to the sunlight, turning her wrist slightly and watching the rays of light flicker brightly off of its surface.
However, as she watched the glimmering patterns of light reflect off of her wall, her face fell slightly, a small frown clouding her features. She shuddered involuntarily, wondering what would have happened if she hadn't found the bracelet. She let her hand gently fall to her side with a dull thud, and stared at the ceiling reflectively.
She could picture the entire scene; the injured, cold look in his eyes, the forced smile and the equally forced laugh, the anger ill concealed in his voice as he told her it was all right, he didn't care. And then the stiffness between them would escalate into a full fledged argument, and she would have to begin all over again, trying to convince him that she did love him, that she wasn't interested in anyone else, and that any male who stood in a ten foot radius of her did not need to be blasted of the face of the earth.
Sighing, she flipped over onto her stomach, tracing patterns on the rumpled cotton pillow. She suddenly felt tired and empty, all of her energy draining out her as she tried to push thoughts of Dean out of her head. It didn't matter; she had found it. Everything was fine. Absolutely fine.
And it would be perfectly natural for Dean to be angry if she had lost the bracelet. It was pretty much a symbol of their relationship, and it was really rather careless of her to lose it. Dean had every right to be annoyed. He really did.
But still, she couldn't stifle Jess's calm, matter of fact voice, repeating itself in her head, whispering to her, "It's only a bracelet." Only a bracelet. Losing a bracelet shouldn't be the end of the world. Losing a bracelet wasn't something that should really heavily impact their relationship. It was just so… trivial.
Abruptly, she sat up, swinging her legs off the side of the bed, eyes wide, her brown hair swirling around her suddenly pale face. Trivial. Their whole relationship was trivial. Their dates had begun to run on a schedule: "Hello, Dean!" Kiss Dean. Argue over where to go. Kiss Dean again. Go to where Dean wants to go. Kiss Dean some more. Walk home. Kiss Dean. "Goodbye, Dean!"
Was that what love was really supposed to be like? Their relationship was… nice. It was nice. Secure.
Boring.
She liked Dean. The first time she had kissed him was unbelievable; the whole world had melted around her, and electric bolts had sizzled up and down her spine, setting her blood on fire. But now… kissing had become part of their routine. It didn't mean anything anymore. And she didn't feel that way anymore when she kissed him; no thunderbolts, no apocalyptic explosions. In fact, she didn't feel anything anymore when she kissed him.
Hesitantly, she raised her wrist and stared at the bracelet as if seeing it for the first time. She had tied it so tight, it was beginning to cut off her circulation; her hand was turning purple. Slowly, she unfastened the bracelet and placed in gently on her bedside table. She stared at it for several seconds, her eyes wide, before abruptly standing up and marching out of the room.
She needed coffee. NOW.
(A/N: I just felt like sticking this in: the bracelet is kind of an allegory to Rory's relationship with Dean, so when she took it off, it technically meant that she decided she was going to break up with him. ~*gasp!*~)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jess slowly wiped the counter, watching the spots methodically fade away beneath his grimy dishtowel as it swept over them. The diner was deserted; it was never too busy in the afternoon. Brushing a strand of dark hair out of his face, he glanced out of the window at the town beyond.
There was too much sunshine. Too many smiling faces, too many happy people. People who didn't know what it was like to be hungry. People who didn't know the meaning of pain. People who would never understand him, because they've never had to live in New York City, among the lowest of the low.
He missed it; he missed it more than anything else. He'd never felt so out of place; so alone. He didn't belong here, among the sun and flowers and Taylor's collectable plates. He didn't belong in their world.
At least in New York he had had people who understood him, who knew and respected the mask that veiled his true self. They didn't try to probe, to find out who the real Jess was. They knew this would be crossing a boundary that was not to be crossed; they knew that this façade was his shield, the wall he had built around himself to protect him from pain, from feeling.
It was apparent, however, that Rory Gilmore knew nothing of the city's unwritten laws.
Those sky blue eyes of hers, they were always probing his, trying to see into him, trying to unravel the convoluted workings of his brain. It was unnerving. Not as much the fact that she actually wanted to know him, as the fact that he wanted her to know about him, wanted to tell her everything, wanted to lay his heart bare at his feet.
He was scared.
No girl that he had ever met had affected him the way she had. With her wry, sunny voice and ever present smile, she had somehow extinguished all of those barriers he had established around himself. She made him want to feel.
Sighing, he ran a hand through his tousled hair, tossing his dishrag to the side, and scanning the street with uninterested eyes. Suddenly, he blinked, standing upright. There she was, stalking down the street, eyes watching her feet intently. She seemed tired; not physically, but emotionally. Her face was quiet and brooding, and her eyes were dull and unseeing, lacking in their usual luster.
He knew she was coming towards the diner. He turned towards the coffee machine and filled a mug to the brim, and set it on the counter. What was wrong with her? She had found the bracelet, hadn't she? Or hadn't that been enough for Bagboy?
Suppressing with some difficulty the surge of anger that rose in his chest, he turned abruptly from the counter, and attempted to look busy. His senses, however, were attuned to the area behind him; waiting for the click that would herald the opening of the door, waiting for the sound of her footsteps, waiting for the dull thud of a body dropping itself into one of the seats lined by the counter.
~*~*~*~*~
Luke's Diner. A.ka. coffee heaven. Rory peered into the window, looking for signs of life. It was empty, except for Jess, who stood with his back to her, looking busy with some gadget behind the counter. Slowly, a smile spread itself over her face as she watched him work. She was glad he was there. Even though she didn't know him very well, he was easy to talk to. Over the past few weeks, she had almost begun to feel more comfortable around him than she had ever been with Dean; around Jess, she could express herself openly without being afraid of offending him.
The door opened with a quiet click that echoed through the nearly empty diner. She crossed the room and sat herself with a thud on one of the seats by the counter. "Jess?" she asked quietly. He turned, raised an eyebrow, and said in a very Jess-like manner, "Rory. What brings you here?"
She gave him a small smile, feeling her spirits lift slightly at the sound of his matter of fact voice. Jess had somehow always had that effect on her. "Coffee, what else? Ooohhh, is this for me?" She had just noticed the steaming cup of coffee situated at her elbow and sniffed it appreciatively, inhaling its rich, thick aroma.
"No, it's for Luke. He's formed this new found passion for coffee."
Rory grinned and grabbed the coffee. "Thanks," she said.
Jess turned towards her and planted his hands on the counter, watching her intently. "The fact that you didn't smell the coffee all the way down the street is in itself disturbing. It took you a full fifteen seconds to realize it was there. What's wrong?"
Rory lowered the cup and raised her eyebrows at him. "Wow, is my life such an open book?"
"Yup," was his calm reply.
Rory sighed and reached out to place the cup on the counter. As she did so, her sleeve fell back slightly, to reveal a bracelet-less wrist. He glanced at her wrist, a flicker in his eyes the only sign that he had noticed what he had seen. He was starting to form an idea of what was wrong.
Rory took a deep breath, staring at the counter. "I don't know. I just… it's Dean. I was thinking about… what you said. I mean, I think you might have been right. It's just a bracelet, Dean shouldn't just freak out if I lost it. And I got to thinking about our relationship, and I just kind of realized that… I don't think this is what a relationship should be like. So… I think I'm going to end it. I think I'm going to break up with him."
He watched her intently, his face a mask. Inwardly, his emotions were violently clashing with each other, but outwardly he was the epitome of calm. Even though he was happy, no, ecstatic, that she had finally realized that she and Dean weren't right for each other, it still hurt to see her so upset. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, and somehow he meant it.
Rory looked up at him quickly, and smiled slightly. "Don't be. It's kind of a relief. I think I knew this was what it was going to come to, anyway. But it's going to be hard."
Jess turned away from her, and when he turned back, he held a second cup of coffee in his hand. "You have just earned yourself another cup of coffee, Rory Gilmore. Drink up. It's on me."
She smiled up at him, her deep blue eyes filled with gratitude. "Thanks, Jess. Not just for the coffee, but for listening, and stuff." He turned away quickly, his heart hammering. How did those eyes of hers always have that effect on him? He prayed to every god he knew that he wasn't blushing.
"S'ok. It's not like I had anything else to do, anyway," he said shortly. He glanced back at her and saw that she looked slightly hurt, her lips twisted into something that resembled a half frown, half pout. Immediately feeling remorseful for his abruptness, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a book, tossing it onto the counter before her. She picked it up, examining its worn cover intently. "Pride and Prejudice. Wait, you have to be kidding me, you read Jane Austen?" She was grinning up at him, her face amused, all former signs of unhappiness vanished.
He raised his eyebrows at her, returning her grin. "Hey, what's wrong with Jane Austen?"
Rory smiled, a feeling of warmth settling in the pit of her stomach as she prepared for yet another literary battle. As she watched the rays of sunshine settle softly over Jess' face, illuminating his keen dark eyes and lean, sensitive face, she decided maybe breaking up with Dean wasn't going to be so horrible after all.
~*~*~*~*~
Sooo…. what do you think? Should I write another chapter? Please review! I will be your slave for life.