Hi again!

This was written as a sort of journal/diary entry from Leia's point of view. It follows cannon from ESB through ROTJ. I broke it down into 'pages' so it is easier to read as I wrote it all together as one LONG story.

Everything you recognize from the movies belongs to George Lucas. Everything else is from my head.

Enjoy!

It's hard to believe that it all started with a kiss. Well, not ALL of it, there were some moments before that, but the defining moment that led up to now was that one kiss. A stolen kiss on a disabled ship hiding from the Imperials, (in a space slug no less) its passengers scrambling to get the hunk of junk back together to avoid certain death. Not exactly a romantic setting. Damn him. How is it that despite the fact that someone can be so stuck up, egotistical, half witted and irritating they can also be kind, gentle, caring, funny and, dare I say it, loveable? Yes, in that brief moment, that one kiss, I realized something. I, Princess Leia Organa, had fallen completely head over heels in love with Captain Han Solo, pirate and scoundrel. Good Gods, what was the universe coming to?

Until that point, I considered him more of a nuisance than anything. I mean, sure he was a great help to the Rebellion, after all he did save Luke's life (twice) and he was one of the best pilots we had, but the man was just so annoying. I swear I think he really enjoyed arguing with me. Every time I turned around he would find something, anything, to get me started. It always ended the same way too; we would both get angry, say a whole lot of things neither of us really meant and then storm off in opposite directions. Not this argument though, oh no, this one ended up quite differently. (All though I did end up running away from him.) I didn't know what to do. So, like a fool, I locked myself in the cockpit of the Falcon and tried to pretend it never happened. (Gods, how juvenile.) So after we had finally escaped several Imperial Star Destroyers and Han broke the bad news that we had no hope of repairing the hyper drive and would have to travel to Bespin in sub-light speed I was not very happy. I wanted to curse the Gods that it was going to take us almost three and a half standard weeks, yes almost a whole month, to get there. After all, how was I supposed to resist those beautiful eyes, that cocky smile, that gorgeous body (okay, my mind is wandering again) for almost four weeks trapped in such close quarters? This was not good. To my surprise, he was a perfect gentleman about the whole situation. I found myself shocked when he came to me the first night of the trip (well night according to our sleep cycles, it's kind of hard to distinguish in space after all) and told me he had cleaned up his cabin for me to use. At first I tried to refuse, asking him where he intended to sleep. He said he would be fine, not to worry about it. He never once mentioned the kiss either.

So later that night I found myself tossing and turning, unable to sleep despite the fact that I was exhausted. I found myself wandering towards the cockpit where I knew he would be. He had offered to take the first watch. Since our long range sensors were down (in addition to the hyper space) and he flat out refused to turn 3P0 back on, we had to keep a watch out for other ships and space debris. I softly walked in and settled into the oversized co-pilots chair. I was expecting a smart remark, but he just turned to me and smiled.

"Couldn't sleep?"

I remember hearing the concern in his voice. I shook my head and sighed. It took me a moment to realize he was staring at me, a goofy grin spreading across his face. Then it occurred to me. My sleep deprived mind had forgotten to tell me to dress more appropriately. There I was sitting in the (suddenly) very small cockpit of the Falcon with Han only mere inches away, and all I was wearing was one of his t-shirts he had lent me as a night shirt. My feet were bare and my hair was completely loose of the braids I normally kept it in. I could feel myself blushing as I suddenly became very self conscious. I tried to pull the hem of the shirt further down my bare legs without much success.

He surprised me when he quietly whispered "You're beautiful."

I stopped fidgeting with the shirt and stared at him. He leaned in and brushed a stray piece of hair from my face. His hand returned to cup my cheek gently. I should have stopped him as he leaned in even closer but instead I found myself staring into his beautiful hazel eyes. The kiss started like the first one, gently, but as his hand tangled in my hair it became deeper, more passionate. I started to panic; no one had ever kissed me like that before. I pushed him back slightly.

"Han stop."

He looked hurt. "Why?"

I stood up and turned to leave. "Leia please. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I just…can't do this."

I couldn't possibly tell him the real reason, he probably would have laughed. So I just ran back to my (his) cabin and cried myself to sleep.