~Honeyed Words. Glacé Lips. Acid Tongue~
By CyanSan
Warning: Foul/Dirty/Colorful-Language, Lemons, Slash, Sexual Interactions Between Males a.k.a Yaoi, Manipulation, Sarcasm, Sarcastic! Harry! Slytherin! Harry!, Genius! Harry!, Powerful! Harry!, Grey! Harry!, Realistic! Harry!, Maybe-a bit-Mad! Harry!, Sort-of-Jaded! Harry!, Kind-of-Cynical Harry!, Bashing!, Manipulative Dumbledore!.
Rating: 18+ (Not For Young Or Sensitive Eyes)
Summary: What if growing up with the Dursley's made Harry more intelligent, powerful, and realistic instead of easily manipulated, weak, and sheltered. Harry grows into a more cynical, jaded, and bitter male under the 'care' of his relatives rather than the broken, and malleable martyr that Dumbledore wanted. Watch as Harry shows the wizarding world that he isn't someone to be trifled with while in the process he catches not only a certain Dark Lord's interest, but an elegant platinum blonde noble's, and a dark haired potions professor's.
…:::Prologue: The Realist Wizard:::...
Harry had finally been let out of the small cupboard. A cupboard that was his farce of a bedroom. A cupboard that the Dursley's had allowed him to have out of the kindness of their oh so generous hearts from his week of starvation, dehydration, isolation, and dehumanization for accidentally using his 'powers' to vanish the glass from the snake tank at the zoo.
He was only probably being allowed out today so as to complete his long list of backbreaking manual child labor that they called 'chores'. 'Chores' he was forced to complete or else he would be forced into more inhuman punishment, treating him like some sort of mindless slave instead of their poor unfortunately orphaned almost eleven year old nephew. 'Chores' starting with cooking copious amounts of unhealthy meals since he was four and could barely reach the stove. A stove that he could still barely reach now, and was currently on a stepstool to reach said stoves back burners so as not to strain himself.
"BOY! You better hurry up!" Vernon snapped from his place at head of the dining table.
Harry inwardly sighed. He couldn't do anything against the bastard, and it wasn't for a lack of trying either. When he was younger he had tried to get out of his 'chores' and tired to disobey his horrible relatives orders and treatment of him, but it only resulted with him getting broken bones, bruised skin, whip lashes, and more starvation, dehydration, isolation, dehumanizing, and emotional turmoil.
He was too young at the time to understand what was happening to really do anything about it or to go to anyone for help at the time. Even now that he could understand the wrongness of the whole situation, he couldn't do anything about it. He had tried to enlist help with several individuals for the past several years, even going so far as to the police and child services themselves just to be brought back into their oh so loving care.
It was strange, though, as he had run to the police several times for their severe gross abuse, but every single time he was brought back into the Dursley's custody and the coppers had all conveniently forgot about it ever happening. Too conveniently as he had gone back on several different occasions to multiple different people who all claim he has never reported it to them before or had ever even seen him before that day.
He desperately wished he could do something to them with his 'freakishness' (as they called it), but it had been too unpredictable when he was still trying to get away from them. It was at the time of were he had given up on idea of ever leaving their house until he was of legal age to do so was when he decided on focusing all the energy he had on leaving the Dursley's to be able to use his 'powers' (as he called it), discovering all it was and what he could do with it in the times he wasn't being watched by them, and grounding it under his control (though not yet completely if by the vanishing of the glass of the snake exhibit was any indication).
He didn't yet want to his 'powers' on them now as he didn't want anybody to question him about his 'powers' if he 'accidentally' killed his farce of a family with them. He also didn't want his farce of a family turning him over into government custody if something went wrong when he used them and they survived or if they didn't survive, he didn't want people to ask questions on how they died so unnaturally. For all he knew he would be sold to the government to be experimented on, used and abused like a mindless weapon, or worse yet be showcased as some sort of oddity for all to see and gawk at.
He turned the bacon over in the skillet making sure not to spill the grease as he did. When he finished cooking the meat he turned off the stove burners and lugged the heavy metal skillet with his thin frail arms over to the dining table where he piled the rest of the bacon onto a large greasy plate.
"Go get the mail you useless boy!" Vernon yelled through a mouthful of greasy bacon he had just greedily swiped from the large plate.
He didn't spare the food a moment's glance of longing. He felt his sadistic Uncle would feel the need to lengthen his period of punishment for acting out of his so called 'station'. [A/N: Feel free to add your own air quotes and overly dramatic eye rolls here.] He withheld a sigh as he turned to leave the room, knowing he was obviously not going to be treated to even his regular morning old cheese and stale bread breakfast this fine morning.
He walked into the hall and sorted through the mail. Pausing the shuffling when he saw a letter addressed to himself and his farce of a room. Harry narrowed his eyes in suspicion, not faltering in his steps as he carefully transported the letter to his cupboard using his 'powers' so his Uncle wouldn't feel the need to remove the very curious letter he had received.
*Time Skip*
Later that evening, whilst Harry was alone in his cupboard, he looked down upon the parchment letter with a kind of numb detachment. Re-reading the letter to make sure that he hadn't finally gone round the bend from the Dursley's severe mistreatment of him.
Dear Mr. Harry James Potter,
I'm pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Enclosed are the list of necessary books and equipment. The school term begins on the first of September. We await your owl no later than the thirty-first of July.
Sincerely,
Deputy Headmistress
Minerva McGonagall
SUPPLIES LIST:
UNIFORM;
First-year students will require: 1. Three sets of plain work robes (black). 2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear. 3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar). 4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings).
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.
COURSE BOOKS;
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk. 2.A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot. Theory by Adalbert Waffling. 4.A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch. Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore. Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger. Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble.
OTHER EQUIPMENT;
1 wand, 1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2), 1 set glass or crystal phials, 1 telescope, and 1 set brass scales. Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad.
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK!
Harry's eyebrows raised up to his hairline. This simple letter would explain a lot of his 'freakishness' that his Uncle liked to spout on about, his relatives unexplained fear of him, and the abuse of his person, as well as the Dursley's extreme phobia of anything fantastical or in anyway not 'normal'.
Harry skimmed the letter for a third time to see if any of what was written could possibly be a trick or a prank (Not that he thought that the Dursley's or anyone in the neighborhood was smart or dumb enough to try to trick/prank him anyway).
He knew this was no trick by the serious and detailed way it was written, but he could tell that there was more to this than a just a simple letter. Harry studied each and every word purposefully. Harry's intelligent poisonously green eyes narrowed, and not even a second later did he break into a maniacal unhinged grin that made the Glasgow Smile (1) scar's on his face (which started from the corners of his mouth and ended at his ears) flex apart and twist terrifyingly in a sickeningly grisly display that exposed his too sharp teeth and marred the normally almost unnoticeable silvery-pink scar tissue into an angry blood red.
'Accepted? Why I never signed up,' Harry mocked inwardly as he caught their oh so small mistake, his smile grew wider in smugness like the cat who caught the canary.
He knew the letter was real, but he was now certain that someone was trying to manipulate him because there was no way in the seven realms of hell that his relatives had signed him up for a school of 'freakishness'.
Harry used his powers to turn the letter to ash and banishing it with a wave of his hands so his relatives wouldn't see it if they woke up before he decided to confront them with his powers at long last.
An unhinged smile played upon his lips as he thought about just what he was going to say to his relatives tomorrow; What he was going to say and do to his relatives so they comply to what he desires, and also wondering where (or how exactly) he was going to find a carrying pigeon, raven, or (as the letter reads) an owl to send his reply on such conveniently short notice.
He finally fell to morphus while smiling like a Cheshire Cat (2) long into his sleep, all the while he dreamt of his long awaited self-imposed karma he was going to force upon his relatives.
(1). Definition of a "Glasgow Smile": A "Glasgow smile" is a nickname for the practice of cutting a victim's face from the edges of the mouth to the ears. The cut – and the scars it leaves – form an "extension" of what resembles a smile. Synonym: Glasgow Grin/Smile, Anna Grin/Smile, Chelsea Grin/Smile, or Cheshire Grin/Smile. Example 1: Picture the Joker's scars. Example 2: Picture the scars The Black Dahlia receives on her face from her murder. Example 3: The sickeningly grisly scars on the Joker's face made a mockery of a smile in it's morbidity as a Glasgow grin. Example 4: The Glasgow Smile of the mad man was stretched impossibly wider as he grinned insanely after he asked, "Do you wanna know how I received these scars?"
[NOTE: Harry actually does have scars at the edges of his mouth from the Dursley's as well as many other more or less notable scars, but the mouth scar aren't so noticeable until he smiles widely.]
(2). Definition of "Smiling like a Cheshire Cat": "Smiling like a Cheshire cat" refers to anyone with a conspicuous and long-lasting smile mostly in a self-satisfied way. Example 1: Picture the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Example 2: Sirius was Smiling like a Cheshire Cat after he pulled a major prank on Severus.
End Prologue. Published 5/8/2016. Edited 8/15/2016
Disclaimer; I do not in anyway own or profit off of Harry Potter series. All rights and acknowledgements for said ownership of characters, story, and profit are in possession of Good Ol' J.K Rowling. However, the story/plot that doesn't cooperate with canon or situations not in canon that I've written or characters (OCs) that I have created fall within the realm of my own mindscapes imaginative creations aka what isn't J.k's in this story is mine though I still do not profit off of it. This is purely written nonprofit doujinshi fanfiction made for the express purpose of mine and others enjoyment and entertainment. I also do not in anyway own or profit off of Alice in Wonderland or Batman (Joker) that I had made reference to in this story.