The famous copy-nin Hatake Kakashi walked up to the podium. He cleared his throat.
"A-hem. I, Hatake Kakashi, have an anouncement that I would like to make. I am not gay. Do you see this?" He paused to lift up a copy of Come Come Paradise.
"It is straight porn. I walk around reading straight porn in public. Clearly, I am not gay. Thank you very much."
He started to walk away but froze. "Oh, yeah, and just because my name is Kakashi does not make me a scarecrow. I actually like birds. Thank you." And then Kakashi walked away.