Hey y'all! It's me, SoakEm4Crutchie! Who am I kidding, you don't care who I am, you just want the story. Well, here you go then. The Newsies franchise is not mine, neither are the characters, yada yada yada... Here it is, enjoy.
A PSA from the Newsies to their fans:
Jack enters an empty, well lit room with white walls and faces the camera.
"Hi guys! If you are watching this you are probably a fan of the movie / stage musical "Newsies". And know that we characters love all of you. Fans are great!" he said.
Davey came in and stood next to him. "We just have a couple things to say regarding your fanfictions. Mostly, the accents."
" And the Original Characters." Added Jack.
The video cuts to Spot. "First off, 'Youse' or 'Yous' does not mean the same thing as 'you' in every instance. 'Youse' is plural; it's the equivalent of 'Y'all'." He explained.
Now Kid Blink is the only one in frame. "A real New Yorker could say 'All of youse' or 'The rest of youse' or 'The two of youse', but not 'Hey Jack, have youse seen my shoe?'"
(The camera cuts back to Jack and Davey)
"Second, STOP WRITING OUT ACCENTS! 'Youse' is acceptable to write out, because it's a word and that is the way it's spelled. Butchering the spelling when you're writing dialogue, or even thoughts, is hard to understand, annoying, and borderline offensive." Said Jack.
Davey continued. "This is fanfiction. Everyone who reads it should already know what the characters sound like, you don't need to drive it into the ground. If you've noticed, a lot of the characters in this PSA have accents. They aren't written out, and it's easy to understand."
(Cut to Boots)
"You don't hear Harry Potter Fanfictions written like this: ''Wot?' Asked Ron. ' I dion't undahstahnd!'' interjected Boots.
(Cut to Spot)
"Or The Walking Dead fanfictions written like this :''Luhk aout Carul, Dere's uh wahkerr buheind ya!''"
(Cut to Jack and Davey)
" So why us? Why do we have to say 'Dat Spa Collon, He maikes me a little noivus!'?" asked Jack into the camera.
(Cut to Kid Blink)
"And also, why are all of your OCs the same? They all have weird colored eyes, beautiful faces, white as a sugar cookie, skinny, unusual talents. Dead mothers, abusive fathers/uncles, found beaten up in an alley, taken to the lodging house, fall in love with a newsie, usually me or Spot. They're all teenagers. They're always girls. They disguise themselves as boys for no good reason… The list goes on.
(Cut to Spot)
" Be creative for christsake! What about a male OC? What about a non-straight OC? What about a non-white OC? What about a fat OC? What about an adult OC? Or a little kid OC? What about an OC that doesn't fall in love? What about a disabled OC? What about an OC that acts like an asshole? What about one without a tragic backstory? What about an ugly OC? The possibilities are endless, and yet almost every one of youse (see how it's used correctly) refuses to change your characters from a boring, self insert in a love story! When will youse ever learn?"
Spot sighed and left. The camera cuts to Jack and Davey.
" Well he got worked up. But really people, be creative!" exclaimed Davey.
(Cut to Crutchie/y)
"For once, can I be in a story that isn't about me dying of some disease? Can I get a romantic partner just once?" asked Crutchie/y.
(Cut to Swifty)
"Can I be in a story?"
(Cut to Bumlets)
"Or me?"
(Cut to Pie Eater)
" Or me?"
(Cut to Jake)
" Me too!"
(Cut to Dutchy)
" Or me?"
(Cut to Snipeshooter)
" Or me? I really want to be in a story where I do something other than steal Race's cigars!"
(Cut to Racetrack)
"Can youse give me interests besides gambling and smoking?"
(Cut to Jack and Davey)
" Come on guys. Newsies is a great movie/Broadway/touring show. We have an inspiring message, that no matter how ordinary, anyone can do something extraordinary. We have an amazing fanbase, who are enthusiastic, excited, and well versed in history class! We have a few stories that are amazingly creative. Let's make more of them that way." Said Davey.
"We fictional characters can't write our own fanfiction, but you fans can. Make your next story something exceptional." Added Jack.
(Blackout)
Hope you liked it! Review if you want, don't if you don't, but pretty please with newsie hats on top review. ;D I hope this has inspired the... three? people who read this to write something a little more original.
Until the muses need me again,
SoakEm4Crutchie
(EDIT: I'm back again, y'all! A request has been made in the reviews by ConfessionsOfAGeekyFangirl, that I continue this story with the newsies trying to write their own fanfiction to show us how it's done. I am here to say that yes, I will definitely get on that as soon as possible. I'm a bit busy this week, but it will hopefully be up by at least the first full week of January.)