Holy crap has it been a long time since I put anything out! For those of you still with me I just wanna say I'm soo sorry for the super long hiatus, family issue and depression put writing on hold, but I'm good now and better than ever! This is a short little random thing I had cookin' in my head for a while and wanted to share with ya'll. This fic is dedicated to my great friend Gamyie.
soo without further delay, Enjoy ~
After we defeated Egghead for the thousandth time we headed back to Tails' workshop to celebrate with a small party thrown by Amy. I woulda stayed inside and enjoyed myself like the others...but I just couldn't. I couldn't just smile and celebrate a battle that I'm ashamed of.
Why am I not proud of winning this fight with Egghead as opposed to others?...I-I turned, I changed into that darker form of myself! I didn't want to and had no control over it, but the minute I saw my friends struck down, I-I lost control. If not for their terrified screams and pleas of mercy, the doctor would have died by my hands. I raise my two hands before me as I think this 'I almost took a life ….. no it, that thing almost took a life!' I corrected myself. My pity party is cut short by the sound of metal clanking against the roof tiles. Not needing to look back to know who it is I just sigh and let my eyes wander to the starry sky.
"What are ya doin' up here Shads" I asked calmly, curious to know what he had ta say.
"Hmph, I was about to as you the same question" A small smile made its way onto my face. Just like Shadow,always so edgy and serious.
"Just not in much of a partying mood I guess." I replied shrugging my shoulders, hoping he bought the lie..well more like stretched truth.
Without saying any reply I heard him walk closer and sit down next to me, quiet taking over the rooftop once more as we both observed everything but the person sitting next to him. It stayed like that for a while, but I guess even the ultimate life has his limit seein as he was the first to break the silence.
" So what's the real reason you're out here ?" He asked, showing he didn't buy my act.
"I-I told ya already, just not feelin up to it." I made sure to avoid his distrusting glare,if he didn't believe me before, no way I'd be able to get him off my back with that stare down of his.
" Sonic..." I could hear the growing irritation in his voice.
" Why do you care anyway?"
" ….While I may not know much about you on a personal level, I do know it isn't like you to to isolate yourself...that and the pink one is attempting to get me to dance and I need to buy some time." '… Wow charming, but I could tell he was being genuinely sympathetic. Weird I didn't think this side of him even existed. '
Seeing no other way to avoid the subject I figured I might as well come clean. 'Maybe it'll help take a load offa my shoulders or something.'
"Alright alright! Ya got me, I'll talk" I said with a nervous grin.
" I...It's just, its about the fight with Egghead.." I blurted out probably making zero sense, but it still relieved me a bit to just get a bit out. Looking to my right I could tell Shadow had almost no clue what I was goin' on about.
" What about the fight?"
" I turned into that ...thing again" I said, feelin, a chill down my spine just thinking about that thing." So, with that form we were able to defeat the doctor" Shadow said matter of factly.
'Wha-what's with him? Didn't he see what went down, what it almost did?!' I thought to myself as I looked at him in disbelief.
" S-so? Dude I almost killed the guy! That dark form thing is a monster. " Jeez I knew Shads was the first ta turn to violence, but I didn't think he was that bad.
" The world wouldn't mourn him, and your experiences hardly deserve the title of monstrous." His words were simple and to the point, but hit me like a punch ta the gut. What gave him the right to decide something like that? To decide just how horrible something like that really is, it's not like he was there.
" Y-you seriously just went there?" I asked, laughing a bit in disbelief. "I've done nothing but turn into monsters, of course I know what it's like! Forget about the werehog, or that demonic rage filled thing, or everyone's favorite the darker version of myself? Cuz I sure as heck haven't... you never saw those things Shads, you have no idea how bad things got." I exclaimed, letting all of my rage out and finally giving my frustration a voice. I wasn't sure if he didn't know how to respond to that or if he was choosin' not to, either way we lapsed into another awkward silence.
After a while of staring at anywhere but each other, it was Shadow who broke the silence...again.
"... You're right, I wasn't there, I suppose I just...couldn't imagine someone enduring an experience worse than what I went through. Forgive me" I could sense the sincerity in his voice and while it was an apology I no doubt accepted, it was also one I didn't expect.
"I-it's cool Shads, no hard feelings" I gave him a small smile and got an agreeing nod in response.
Feelin' a bit better about what happened after getting it off my chest, I got up to go join the others, figuring there wasn't much else to say,. Only to be stopped by Shad's words.
"What's it like? Being in your...other form, I mean" He asked with a serious and curious look on his face. I sat back down wondering why he wanted to know and more importantly, why I was about ta tell em'. I had no idea what to say so I just said the first things that came to mind.
" Uhh..well.. it's kinda like... -sigh- it's both horrible and amazing at the same time, Shads. Kinda like yer watchin' a horror movie starring yourself, no matter how many times ya shout 'watch out!' the others can't hear you. Though I guess it'd be better described as feeling like your holding the world in your hands, knowing that you could crush it easily anytime you chose, and fighting the insane urge ta do it." Letting go of that info, however little it was, did help me feel better a bit but also brought back some unwanted memories.
Shadow must've taken notice to my sudden change in mood and decided to speak up. " I see , such power must have been very overwhelming for you."
" Tch.. ya think?" I said still a little tense.
He nods again, as if to acknowledge my statement, and continues on with sayin' what's on his mind.
" I've gone through something similar to you , being consumed by rage and almost letting it guide myself toward dark paths and wrong choices. I was only saved when I grew to realize how horrid it...I really was."
"you...uh...you mean the Black Doom stuff right?" I ask already knowing the answer.
"yes" He responds, I shake my head and can't help but let out a kinda bitter laugh as my eyes wander back to the twinkling lights above. " Looks like we're both monsters the, eh Shads?"
" No, not quite." He responded, vague as ever, curiosity piqued I tried ta get a further explanation out of him.
"What do ya mean by that?"
" I believe there's a difference between a monstrous being and one tainted through the hardship of pain and loss, and I truly believe you to be the latter."
To say his words caught me off guard would be an understatement, I mean again I know Shads aint all bad but rarely does he say what's on his mind like that. " Heh, you're pretty alright yourself, Shadow." I said givin him my signature wink and smile which got me an eye roll in return.
Getting up Shadow began to make his way off the roof but stopped mid way sayin " I don't know about you, but I've spent more than enough time on this roof..." and continued on his way. "Hey Shads, wait a sec." I said getting up and makin my way over to him.
" What now, faker?"
" Er nothing just...y'know thanks, for the talk I mean. That was pretty cool of ya" I reached a hand out to the ultimate lifeform and to my surprise actually got em ta shake it, and I swear I saw the smallest hint of a smile for a split second. Once we let go of the handshake we both went back inside, where every one was still in party mode and Amy decided to tell and show just how worried she was that I left 'Lucky me.'
So how'd you guys like it? I hope it was worth the wait. Speaking of which to make up for my hiatus send me a prompt and or random idea and I'll attempt to write a fic/poem with it!
Till next time guys ~