I knew it was coming but that doesn't change a damn bit how much it hurts… I take another drink from the bottle I have in my hand. Everyone is gathered around them, but me, congratulating them. Congratulate them, pah! I won't do that… I can't stand to look at the blonde for long periods of time anymore… I can't believe it's come to me finding answers in a bottle. Iori has expressed a few times that he has an interest in me… And I keep telling him that I don't feel comfortable going into a relationship with friend… I don't want to hurt them in the end if something goes wrong. Then he'd just nod but wouldn't go too far. Which I guess is good since he's made sure more than once that I haven't seriously given myself a case of alcohol poisoning…
I can still remember what happened between me and Takeru that night… If I'd been able to change that little thing, than the yellow rose wouldn't be engaged to Ichijouji… He is my best friend, but knows how jealous I am of him and it's caused a small rift between us. He's there for me, but he rarely visits me with Takeru. I look over at them talking with Taichi and Koushiro. It could be me that Takeru is so pressed against. I could be receiving the candy sweet kisses. I could have all those smiles. I could hold a delicate rose from heaven in my arms at night… But I don't…any more…. I never will again.. There is no blonde angel of hope in my arms… All because of one night…………………………………
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**sigh**
We both lie silently still in the dead of the night…
although we both lie close together…
We feel miles a part inside…
Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right?
Though I tried not to hurt you,
Though I tried
I guess that's why they say
Hot kisses were placed along the jaw line of a honey face. "Dai…"
His reply was only more kisses making their way towards his mouth. Takeru kissed back shyly not sure if he were ready for something like this…
"Daisuke…"
"You're so soft… Like a rose…" Daisuke whispered around the skin of his boyfriend's neck. TK shivered at the feel of his hot breath while the room was fairly chilly. "My beautiful yellow rose…" Daisuke kissed him again, leaving the blonde breathless and becoming hot and bothered…something he wasn't sure he was ready for. Yes he loved the caramel-skinned teen above him with his heart but, he wasn't sure if he was ready for the step that Daisuke was implying they take now.
"Daisuke! Stop please!" Takeru gasped out pressing his hands on the other's shoulders in a frantic way. He was becoming scared, the way that Daisuke was so consumed in his body, what happened to their relationship? Was it turning into a game of bodies?
Every Rose has its thorn
just like every night has its dawn.
Just like every cowboy, sings a sad, sad song
Every Rose has its thorn….
Yeah it does…
They sat in Daisuke's apartment Takeru on one side of the couch arms wrapped around him while Daisuke was on the other agitated with his boyfriend.
"I'm sorry but it's not right Dai-chan… I can't go there yet…" Takeru told him glancing towards his boyfriend with sheltered eyes.
"Keru-chan! I wasn't saying we take that step now!"
"Then what were you saying Daisuke?" Takeru demanded.
"What? I can't kiss my boyfriend anymore? Takeru, I love you. I don't want to hurt you. I know you don't want to take that step yet. I respect that!"
"I just felt you were testing the waters…"
"Takeru, I'm not testing waters! I want to hold and kiss you. I want to tell you how much I love you! Why won't you let me do that?" Daisuke asked in a loud tone standing up and giving his boyfriend a mild glare.
"Don't yell at me Daisuke. There is no reason for us to fight…" Takeru said giving his boyfriend his own hard look.
"I'm not yelling!" Daisuke ranted throwing his arms up in frustration.
I listen to our favorite song, playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder, does he know
Has it ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here right now if
Could have let you know somehow I guess
Every Rose has its thorn
just like every night has its dawn.
Just like every cowboy, sings a sad, sad song
Every Rose has its thorn….
"Stop it Dai!" TK yelled back at him.
"Stop what loving you? Never!"
"Daisuke, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong!" Daisuke said taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry Keru-chan… Give a moment to calm down?" he asked taking the blonde's hands and kissing one.
"Of course Dai-chan…. I'm sorry too… I'll wait right here…" he said kissing the redhead's cheek and sitting back on the couch. Daisuke went into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.
"Idiot… The last thing you need to do is loose Takeru…" Daisuke muttered to himself as he looked around his pitiful excuse of a kitchen. His eyes fell on the cupboard that he kept a certain bottle in. He walked over and pulled it out along with a small glass. "Just one…Just one to clear my mind…" he whispered as he poured the amber liquid into the glass and drank it down. Then poured another and drank it down as well. He rarely drank…Only after a great win and with the guys. He only drank once when it wasn't a victory and that was when Jun was in the accident because of him. He had told her to come over and help him move… He'd insisted… Another glass… It was his fault…. And another one…
Soon Daisuke's eyes were slightly bloodshot as he emerged from the kitchen and hugged his boyfriend from behind. "Hey… my little yellow rose…" he whispered kissing TK's cheek repeatedly.
"Feeling better Dai?" Takeru asked with a slight giggle. Daisuke was almost obsessed with kissing his cheek and temple.
"Hai… Much better Keru-chan…" Daisuke said as his lips moved lower a bit to the honey neck again. TK's breath picked up slightly.
"Dai-chan…?" Takeru got out before Daisuke was kissing him fiercely. 'Liquor?' His senses went on red alert. He tried to push Daisuke away again. This time Daisuke wasn't having it…
"What's wrong? Don't you love me Take-chan?" he asked nipping at lips, an ear, throat, collarbone….all while unbuttoning the shirt that the other wore.
"Daisuke… please stop!" Takeru was begging him but Daisuke silenced him with another kiss. Tears formed and streamed down pale cheeks. "STOP!"
"Sh… come on Takeru… Let's have some fun…" he whispered gently biting into a nipple. Takeru cried out and started to succeed in pushing him off of his slight form before his small wrists were grabbed and held still. "STOP. Fighting. Me." Daisuke instructed the writhing boy beneath him. Takeru gave a desperate pull on his wrists and while Daisuke was in shock over that he pushed him away and ran to the door buttoning himself up sobbing the entire way. "Takeru.. Takeru!" Daisuke seemed to come to his senses and tried to go after him.
"Not now Daisuke! Just… Leave me alone for awhile!" Takeru exclaimed harshly as he left the apartment and ran down the street to towards the park where he sat and cried.
Though it's been a while now,
I can still feel so much pain
Like the knife that cuts through the wound heals
But the scar… the scar will remain…
I know I could have saved our love that night
If I'd known what to say…
Instead of making love
We both made our separate ways…
And now I hear you've found somebody new…
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me, like a knife
I guess…
Then there was the night outside of Ken and Holly's apartment… the night we officially broke up…. Again I was drinking… Again I hurt Takeru…. Only this time I actually struck him… How could I hit my yellow rose? I don't know anymore… but I did and it kills me everytime I think about it….
#Every Rose has its thorn
just like every night has its dawn.
Just like every cowboy, sings a sad, sad song
Every Rose has its thorn….#
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It was all my fault… I got drunk.. then why am I still drinking? I set down the bottle and head for the door. Takeru sees me heading that way and whispers something to Ken. Iori is watching to see if he should follow me or not. I don't care at the moment… I really don't want to be around him like this… No one deserves to be with me when I'm like this…
"Daisuke!" Takeru says coming out the door behind me.
"Not now Takeru," I snap back but a hand touches my arm. I still immediately and turn to look at him.
"Daisuke… I'm sorry about what's happened… But I do love Ken-chan so very much…" he says looking at me with hurt eyes.
"Takeru…" I breathe his name and place a hand on his cheek. He doesn't hide the flash of fear that went through his eyes. "I still love you… Just not the same way I did…. You're still important to me… and if you need anything, you can come to me... okay?"
"I know Daisuke… You will be at the wedding?"
"Of course I will… I'm going to try and straighten myself out by then… But Ken will be a good partner for you, Keru-kun…" He's smiling at me… not a smile for his Ken-chan… one that's just for me. We hug and I tell him to get back to his fiancée. He nods and smiles and heads back in.
I turn and start heading towards my apartment. A cold wind blows and I shiver a bit. I pull my sorry excuse for a jacket tighter around me. You are becoming a really pathetic person Daisuke… I tell myself…
An arm links with mine and a head with rich brown hair rests on my arm. I look down at Iori surprised. "Iori… what are you doing?"
"Walking with you…" he whispers. I stop and force him to look at him. He's about twenty now, and damn sexy.
"Iori… Please I don't wan-"
"I don't care if you hurt me Daisuke. I fell in love with you years ago… but you were still in love with Takeru… I know you can't love a ghost…" Iori tells me looking up at me with pleading emeralds.
"I'm a hell of person to be with Iori… you've seen my temper-"
"And stood up to it."
"And you know about my drinking-"
"When we get to your house I'm confiscating the bottles."
"Iori… I don't want to mess up again…"
"Daisuke… Please… Give me a chance… I've waited years for a chance… I've tried, everytime to turn me away I've tried to find someone new… Everytime I end up back to you…."
"You're stubborn," I say as I wrap arms around his waist.
"So are you… and I think you need someone as stubborn as you around…" he answers quietly resting his hands on my shoulders.
"You've got the job," I say before kissing his lips. Just a small brush to them but he pulls me closer and deepens it a bit. I smile into it. I've been trying to keep him safe because after Takeru left, I knew I had large feelings for the emerald eyed boy…but he hasn't given up on me…even after I gave up on myself….
Even now… I hear people saying we won't make it for long… but I can tell them.. This time, I'm going to love him the right way…