Disclaimer- Not mine. The song belongs to James Taylor and the show belongs to whoever owns them that is not me.
Author Notes- I'm back! I'm finally feeling well enough to sit down and do some writing. So here we are.
Rainy Day Man
What good is that happy lie
All you wanted from the start was to cry
*********************************************
Jamie sat on his bed, he'd have to go back to the Glory institution tomorrow, but for right now, he was just happy to be home. He felt a pang of sorrow as he saw the corner where he once beloved guitar use to be, along where one of his favorite posters use to hang. Both destroyed in a fit of rage that chances are helped put him in Glory. A knock on the door averted his attention and he focused on Alex, who stood smiling in his doorway.
"Hey Alex." Jamie said breaking out in a small, yet real smile.
"Good to see ya kid." Alex replied striding into the room.
"You too."
"They say your doing much better up at Glory now."
"Yeah, I made some changes." Jamie replied.
"So I heard. Good for you Jamie." Jamie blinked in surprise and Alex couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up in the back of his throat. "You thought I was gonna tell you to talk to Hank again?"
"Well...yeah."
"If you feel your doing better without him, then you do what you have to. If that means not talking to Hank, then good for you for knowing how to stop it."
"Thanks...I think."
"Brooke wanted me to tell you to come by the station, but I told her I'm not sure if you'd have time for it. She misses you, and doesn't quite understand the problem."
"I don't even fully understand the problem." Jamie admitted.
"I'm not sure anyone does then." Alex replied. Jamie shrugged a little.
"I guess not."
"Wish I could stay longer, but I just quickly detoured on my way down to the station. I hope you can come home again soon Jamie."
"Yeah me too. Thanks for stopping by."
"No problem. Bye."
"Alex...."
"Yeah?" He asked halting in the door.
"Honest opinion, do you think that keeping Hank away is good? I know what you said before, but in your opinion."
"In my opinion, if hashing it out with him isn't getting you anywhere, then I think you are doing exactly what has to be done. And what needs to be done is you need to get better. Plain and simple."
"Thanks Alex."
"Anytime." Alex headed out the door.
"Bye!" Jamie called to his retreating back, and Alex threw him a wave over his shoulder. Jamie sighed and slumped down against his pillows. closing his eyes hoping to take a quick nap.
*********************************************
It looks like another fall
Your good friends they don't seem to help at all
When you're feeling kind of cold and small
Just look up your rainy day man
**********************************************
Jamie wandered around his house, he couldn't sleep, though he wanted too. It was nice to be home, but he'd spent so long away from it, he almost felt uncomfortable there. Like he didn't belong. That thought made him feel very cold, and he absently rubbed his arms to try and generate some warmth. Scribbling down a quick note to Peter, Jamie rushed from the house, suddenly feeling as if he had to get away from the emptiness the house seemed to hold for him. He hurried down the street, going the opposite way from the station, wanting nothing more than you stay as far away from the building and the people inside it as possible. However, as he rounded a corner, he found himself face to face with Val, Tyler, and Brooke.
"Jamie!" Brooke exclaimed, flinging her arms around him before he could react. She instantly let go, when she felt him cringe. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Jamie replied, hesitantly looking up at Val and Tyler.
"Its good to see you Jamie." Val said with a warm smile.
"Hank told us you were home for a visit." Tyler replied, a lot less warmly than Val or Brooke. His tone was not lost on Jamie who sighed internally sensing that Hank and been talking to Tyler.
"Its great that you get to visit!" Brooke bubbled over with excitement, seemingly not noticing the tension that was building between the group.
"Yeah, its nice to be home."
"Do you have any idea when you'll get to come home to stay?" Val asked tentatively. Jamie managed a small, yet forced, smile.
"The doctors say I'm improving a lot, so hopefully sometime in the near future."
"It'll be so great when you come home." Brooke said.
"Yes, then maybe you'll stop all this stupid stuff with Hank." Tyler snapped, earning incredulous looks from Brooke and Val.
"Tyler!" Val chided.
"No, really, that way we won't be caught in the middle of it anymore." He snarled.
"How are you caught," Jamie inquired "in something that has absolutely nothing to do with you? This is between Hank and myself, and if Hank chooses to involve you in it, that is his business."
"You drew the battle lines when you put up your little embargo against Hank. How can you expect us not to be affected."
"Tyler," Jamie began with obviously stretched patience." You don't know the story."
"I do so, I do follow your little soap opera you know!"
"You would know nothing about this if Hank was not the one giving you information, and it will be one sided, just like if you were only getting the story from me. Maybe you should ask me about it before you judge me for it."
"I don't need your side, its pretty clear. You've decided, Hank isn't helping, and therefore no longer want to talk to him, I just don't understand your logic."
"Easy enough, I want to get better, and I have been ever since Hank has stopped 'visiting' and I use that term lightly."
"Hank told me WHY he did what he did." Tyler said staring at him with a knowing look.
"He had no right to do that, but if it is done, it is done." Jamie replied calmly. "He still however, only seems to be interested in convincing himself he is right, rather than me, or even to check on my well being."
"Have you even tried to listen to his explanations?"
"Yes, but has he considered mine?" Tyler was quiet for a moment, and Brooke shrunk a little closer to Val at the exchange.
"Maybe," Tyler snarled "When your in your right mind again, you'll realize how stupid this is." The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Pain flashed across Jamie's face, and his eyes snapped up to his own, pain and disbelief echoed in them.
"I first of all, cannot believe you said that to me. I am not insane, nor am I mentally unstable." Jamie said through gritted teeth. "If you do not care for the way I chose to live my life, then kindly step out it."
"Jamie I....." Jamie turned on his heels effectively cutting off the conversation.
"Goodbye, Val, Brooke, I'm sorry for such a rude encounter." He called over his shoulder, and he hurried away, as one, Val and Brooke turned their glare on Tyler, who sighed heavily.
"Lets go get Hank, and I'll explain on the way."
**********************************************
It does you no good to pretend child
You've made a hole much too big to mend
And it looks like you lose again, my friend
Call on your rainy day man
***********************************************
Why was he so upset? Jamie cursed himself as he double-timed his step. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and the EMTs as possible. He doubted they would follow him. Its his fault after all, he excluded Hank, Hank in return told Tyler, who didn't bother to get his side of the story, so he sided with Hank. Val, he thought, might take a little persuading, but eventually would side with them as well. And to his knowledge, Brooke didn't know what exactly was going on, so she might stay neutral. He was getting better now, didn't they understand that? Weren't they the ones who kept telling him to get better? He was now, but it came at a price. A price they didn't seem to try or want to understand. They didn't understand that this hurt him too. Maybe they just didn't want too. Jamie felt pulled in several different directions. One, he felt he was doing the right thing, another was that maybe he should give Hank another chance, and the third, the overwhelming one, was that it was his fault to begin with, everything was, and he deserved to be miserable. Shaking his head hard, to try and clear it, he rushed blindly towards home.
***********************************************
Now rainy day man he don't like sunshine
He don't chase rainbows
He don't need good times
Grey days rolling
**********************************************
"How was your visit?" Mike asked as the dark haired young man looked up.
"It was okay." Jamie muttered looking down. Alarms went off in Mike's head in he slid into a sitting position next to him.
"This doesn't sound good Jamie, wanna tell ole Mikey what's got ya so upset?"
"It's just....its hard to explain." Jamie replied, training his eyes back to the pad of paper in front of him.
"You've got me worried now."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too." Jamie seemed to be slipping back into the robotic phase he had been in.
"Jamie, what happened?" There was no answer for a long while and Mike sighed when he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get one.
"What did you think of Hank?" Jamie asked finally.
"He didn't seem to be very healthy for you."
"Do you think I did the right thing?" Mike vaguely wondered where this was going.
"Yeah, I do. If it helps you get better, than do what you have too. What happened Jamie?"
"Another person doesn't seem to think so." Jamie replied, the slightest bit of bitterness in his voice.
"Do you want me to get a doctor so you can talk?" Mike asked, concerned.
"No, it can wait until tomorrow. Could I just go to bed now?" Surprised at the request considering it was only 8:30 at night, Mike nodded, sensing the young man needed to be alone.
"I'll be outside if you need me." Jamie barely acknowledged him as he put the pad of paper down and rolled up tightly on to his side. Mike sighed, knowing they couldn't do anything until Jamie asked for help.
**********************************************
Then you'll see him
Empty feeling
Now you need him
************************************************
Val entered Jamie's room, and the first thing she noticed, was he looked tired, like he had before. Instantly on guard she forced a bright smile to her face.
"Hi Jamie. Brooke extends her apologizes, she wanted to come up and cheer you up, but school work got in the way."
"Hey Val, and its okay." Jamie replied, without looking up.
"Are you okay?" There was a brief silence before Jamie looked up.
"Do you agree with what Tyler said?"
"No, that's one of the reason's I'm here Jamie. I don't agree with Tyler or Hank, and Tyler was particularly out of line with what he said."
"You don't think I'm insane or in the wrong?"
"No, I never did. If you think you do better without Hank, then don't talk to him. You certainly seemed better without him around."
"I'm not sure anymore Val, I mean.......I feel almost as lost as when I first got here." Val reached forward and squeezed his hand. He cringed and pulled his hand away with a gentle, and apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, I forgot." He didn't reply, but kept the same soft smile on his face. "Why are you suddenly second guessing yourself Jamie?"
"I don't know." He replied, diverting his eyes.
"Is it because of what Tyler said?" When Jamie didn't reply she sighed. "It is. Jamie, I'm going to apologize for him."
"Don't." Jamie said softly. "Don't you dare, because it doesn't mean anything coming from you. YOUR not the one who said it, he is, and he wouldn't be apologizing if you do it." She was quiet for a minute before heaving a heavy sigh.
"Your right, I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry." She sat down beside him, and offered him the brightest smile she could muster
"So cheer up Jamie, you really don't want me bringing Brooke up here."
************************************************
All those noble thoughts they just don't belong
You can't hide the truth with a happy song
And since you knew where you stood all along
Just look up your rainy day man
*************************************************
Caitie studied Jamie from the doorway. "You look like hell."
"Hello to you too." He replied barely glancing up.
"What are you doing?"
"They're making me keep a journal now." Curiosity peeked, she wandered over. She did notice right away, he wasn't writing it in, doodling in the margins really.
"Why do they want you to keep one?"
"Said it was for my own benefit." He shrugged and threw the book aside, motioning for Caitie to sit down. "So, what's going on?"
"Ya know, life in Kingsport, never that exciting. I think Brooke is coming up within the next week or so." Jamie smiled tiredly.
"It'll be good to see her."
"What's wrong Jamie?"
"I just feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle, I guess." Caitie inched a bit closer to him.
"Let me guess. The super squad."
"Hank and Tyler." Jamie admitted. "Did Val tell you about when I ran into her, Brooke, and Tyler?"
"A little bit....she told me Tyler was out of line."
"I feel like anytime I try and get better, there's always someone there to pull me back down." Caitie put her hand on his shoulder.
"Jamie, all I can tell you is that if you want it bad enough, you'll achieve it."
"I suppose this situation really showed me who my real friends were." He put his head down on her shoulder and closed his eyes. She looked down at him in concern and let a sad smile touch her face.
"Yes, it really did."
*************************************************
Now simple pleasures they all evade you
Store-bought treasures none can save you
Look for signs to ease the pain
Ask again
Go on and pray for rain
************************************************
As promised, Brooke finally made it up to visit. Jamie made sure to be outside this day, as he didn't want the institute itself to upset her. Val, Caitie, and Brooke crested the hill, and he raised his hand in a slight wave. Brooke charged down ahead of the other two.
"Hi Jamie!"
"Hey Brooke." She quickly sat down across from him.
"I brought you something!" He raised an eyebrow as she produced a chocolate bar from her purse. Jamie grinned.
"Sugary goodness." He murmured as he gratefully accepted it. "How'd you sneak it in?"
"Mike said as long as we kept you happy for an hour, it was okay just this once." Val replied. Jamie offered a piece to each of the girls, who all declined before eating part and stashing the rest.
"So how's it going up here?" Caitie asked.
"As well as it can I guess. My schedule is different now."
"Is that good?" Val asked.
"Yeah, less therapy, so they must think I'm getting better."
"That's great Jamie!" Brooke exclaimed. He couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.
"Can I ask you something?" Val asked.
"Sure."
"Do you think things could ever be the same with the squad again?" Jamie was quiet for a few moments.
"I don't think so." He finally said, watching as her face fell. "To much has happened. There's been to much hurt..."
"I'm so sorry Jamie." Val said, her eyes trained on the ground.
"I'll still be your friend Val. I'll still be around, It just won't be like it use to be. It'll never be how it once was." She nodded and Brooke sighed.
"Your not coming back to the squad, are you?"
"No Brooke, I don't think I am."
"Well good." Caitie stated. "That means the chip in your brain has been deactivated." Jamie tried to stifle a laugh as Val turned on Caitie.
"What's that mean?"
"Nothing." Caitie rocked back on her heels, humming innocently. The visit went uneventfully from then on, making chit chat, and trying to take Jamie's mind off his current situation.
*************************************************
It looks like another fall
Your good friends they don't seem to help at all
When you're feeling kind of cold and small
Just look up your rainy day man
All I need to do is look up my rainy day man
*************************************************
Mike sat in the grass a few feet away from Jamie. He'd been in better spirits ever since the three girls had visited.
"What are you writing?" Mike asked, as the young man jotted something down in his journal.
"Its my official resignation from the EMT program." Jamie admitted.
"You really can't go back, can you?"
"No. I don't think I can. So much has happened...I was only there to begin with because I had to be. I remained there because I wanted to be part of that world still. I guess I just didn't belong there."
"Why would you say that?"
"I'm obviously not the only one who thinks it." Jamie replied with a slight shrug. "I figure I'll just make everyone's life a little more comfortable." Mike sighed.
"Do you really want to leave?" Jamie stopped and looked up at him for a moment before his answer came.
"I can't stay in a place where I can't trust the people I work with." And with that said, Mike pushed him no more.
*************************************************
Now what good is that happy lie
All you wanted from the start was to cry
Author Notes- I'm back! I'm finally feeling well enough to sit down and do some writing. So here we are.
Rainy Day Man
What good is that happy lie
All you wanted from the start was to cry
*********************************************
Jamie sat on his bed, he'd have to go back to the Glory institution tomorrow, but for right now, he was just happy to be home. He felt a pang of sorrow as he saw the corner where he once beloved guitar use to be, along where one of his favorite posters use to hang. Both destroyed in a fit of rage that chances are helped put him in Glory. A knock on the door averted his attention and he focused on Alex, who stood smiling in his doorway.
"Hey Alex." Jamie said breaking out in a small, yet real smile.
"Good to see ya kid." Alex replied striding into the room.
"You too."
"They say your doing much better up at Glory now."
"Yeah, I made some changes." Jamie replied.
"So I heard. Good for you Jamie." Jamie blinked in surprise and Alex couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up in the back of his throat. "You thought I was gonna tell you to talk to Hank again?"
"Well...yeah."
"If you feel your doing better without him, then you do what you have to. If that means not talking to Hank, then good for you for knowing how to stop it."
"Thanks...I think."
"Brooke wanted me to tell you to come by the station, but I told her I'm not sure if you'd have time for it. She misses you, and doesn't quite understand the problem."
"I don't even fully understand the problem." Jamie admitted.
"I'm not sure anyone does then." Alex replied. Jamie shrugged a little.
"I guess not."
"Wish I could stay longer, but I just quickly detoured on my way down to the station. I hope you can come home again soon Jamie."
"Yeah me too. Thanks for stopping by."
"No problem. Bye."
"Alex...."
"Yeah?" He asked halting in the door.
"Honest opinion, do you think that keeping Hank away is good? I know what you said before, but in your opinion."
"In my opinion, if hashing it out with him isn't getting you anywhere, then I think you are doing exactly what has to be done. And what needs to be done is you need to get better. Plain and simple."
"Thanks Alex."
"Anytime." Alex headed out the door.
"Bye!" Jamie called to his retreating back, and Alex threw him a wave over his shoulder. Jamie sighed and slumped down against his pillows. closing his eyes hoping to take a quick nap.
*********************************************
It looks like another fall
Your good friends they don't seem to help at all
When you're feeling kind of cold and small
Just look up your rainy day man
**********************************************
Jamie wandered around his house, he couldn't sleep, though he wanted too. It was nice to be home, but he'd spent so long away from it, he almost felt uncomfortable there. Like he didn't belong. That thought made him feel very cold, and he absently rubbed his arms to try and generate some warmth. Scribbling down a quick note to Peter, Jamie rushed from the house, suddenly feeling as if he had to get away from the emptiness the house seemed to hold for him. He hurried down the street, going the opposite way from the station, wanting nothing more than you stay as far away from the building and the people inside it as possible. However, as he rounded a corner, he found himself face to face with Val, Tyler, and Brooke.
"Jamie!" Brooke exclaimed, flinging her arms around him before he could react. She instantly let go, when she felt him cringe. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Jamie replied, hesitantly looking up at Val and Tyler.
"Its good to see you Jamie." Val said with a warm smile.
"Hank told us you were home for a visit." Tyler replied, a lot less warmly than Val or Brooke. His tone was not lost on Jamie who sighed internally sensing that Hank and been talking to Tyler.
"Its great that you get to visit!" Brooke bubbled over with excitement, seemingly not noticing the tension that was building between the group.
"Yeah, its nice to be home."
"Do you have any idea when you'll get to come home to stay?" Val asked tentatively. Jamie managed a small, yet forced, smile.
"The doctors say I'm improving a lot, so hopefully sometime in the near future."
"It'll be so great when you come home." Brooke said.
"Yes, then maybe you'll stop all this stupid stuff with Hank." Tyler snapped, earning incredulous looks from Brooke and Val.
"Tyler!" Val chided.
"No, really, that way we won't be caught in the middle of it anymore." He snarled.
"How are you caught," Jamie inquired "in something that has absolutely nothing to do with you? This is between Hank and myself, and if Hank chooses to involve you in it, that is his business."
"You drew the battle lines when you put up your little embargo against Hank. How can you expect us not to be affected."
"Tyler," Jamie began with obviously stretched patience." You don't know the story."
"I do so, I do follow your little soap opera you know!"
"You would know nothing about this if Hank was not the one giving you information, and it will be one sided, just like if you were only getting the story from me. Maybe you should ask me about it before you judge me for it."
"I don't need your side, its pretty clear. You've decided, Hank isn't helping, and therefore no longer want to talk to him, I just don't understand your logic."
"Easy enough, I want to get better, and I have been ever since Hank has stopped 'visiting' and I use that term lightly."
"Hank told me WHY he did what he did." Tyler said staring at him with a knowing look.
"He had no right to do that, but if it is done, it is done." Jamie replied calmly. "He still however, only seems to be interested in convincing himself he is right, rather than me, or even to check on my well being."
"Have you even tried to listen to his explanations?"
"Yes, but has he considered mine?" Tyler was quiet for a moment, and Brooke shrunk a little closer to Val at the exchange.
"Maybe," Tyler snarled "When your in your right mind again, you'll realize how stupid this is." The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Pain flashed across Jamie's face, and his eyes snapped up to his own, pain and disbelief echoed in them.
"I first of all, cannot believe you said that to me. I am not insane, nor am I mentally unstable." Jamie said through gritted teeth. "If you do not care for the way I chose to live my life, then kindly step out it."
"Jamie I....." Jamie turned on his heels effectively cutting off the conversation.
"Goodbye, Val, Brooke, I'm sorry for such a rude encounter." He called over his shoulder, and he hurried away, as one, Val and Brooke turned their glare on Tyler, who sighed heavily.
"Lets go get Hank, and I'll explain on the way."
**********************************************
It does you no good to pretend child
You've made a hole much too big to mend
And it looks like you lose again, my friend
Call on your rainy day man
***********************************************
Why was he so upset? Jamie cursed himself as he double-timed his step. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and the EMTs as possible. He doubted they would follow him. Its his fault after all, he excluded Hank, Hank in return told Tyler, who didn't bother to get his side of the story, so he sided with Hank. Val, he thought, might take a little persuading, but eventually would side with them as well. And to his knowledge, Brooke didn't know what exactly was going on, so she might stay neutral. He was getting better now, didn't they understand that? Weren't they the ones who kept telling him to get better? He was now, but it came at a price. A price they didn't seem to try or want to understand. They didn't understand that this hurt him too. Maybe they just didn't want too. Jamie felt pulled in several different directions. One, he felt he was doing the right thing, another was that maybe he should give Hank another chance, and the third, the overwhelming one, was that it was his fault to begin with, everything was, and he deserved to be miserable. Shaking his head hard, to try and clear it, he rushed blindly towards home.
***********************************************
Now rainy day man he don't like sunshine
He don't chase rainbows
He don't need good times
Grey days rolling
**********************************************
"How was your visit?" Mike asked as the dark haired young man looked up.
"It was okay." Jamie muttered looking down. Alarms went off in Mike's head in he slid into a sitting position next to him.
"This doesn't sound good Jamie, wanna tell ole Mikey what's got ya so upset?"
"It's just....its hard to explain." Jamie replied, training his eyes back to the pad of paper in front of him.
"You've got me worried now."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too." Jamie seemed to be slipping back into the robotic phase he had been in.
"Jamie, what happened?" There was no answer for a long while and Mike sighed when he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get one.
"What did you think of Hank?" Jamie asked finally.
"He didn't seem to be very healthy for you."
"Do you think I did the right thing?" Mike vaguely wondered where this was going.
"Yeah, I do. If it helps you get better, than do what you have too. What happened Jamie?"
"Another person doesn't seem to think so." Jamie replied, the slightest bit of bitterness in his voice.
"Do you want me to get a doctor so you can talk?" Mike asked, concerned.
"No, it can wait until tomorrow. Could I just go to bed now?" Surprised at the request considering it was only 8:30 at night, Mike nodded, sensing the young man needed to be alone.
"I'll be outside if you need me." Jamie barely acknowledged him as he put the pad of paper down and rolled up tightly on to his side. Mike sighed, knowing they couldn't do anything until Jamie asked for help.
**********************************************
Then you'll see him
Empty feeling
Now you need him
************************************************
Val entered Jamie's room, and the first thing she noticed, was he looked tired, like he had before. Instantly on guard she forced a bright smile to her face.
"Hi Jamie. Brooke extends her apologizes, she wanted to come up and cheer you up, but school work got in the way."
"Hey Val, and its okay." Jamie replied, without looking up.
"Are you okay?" There was a brief silence before Jamie looked up.
"Do you agree with what Tyler said?"
"No, that's one of the reason's I'm here Jamie. I don't agree with Tyler or Hank, and Tyler was particularly out of line with what he said."
"You don't think I'm insane or in the wrong?"
"No, I never did. If you think you do better without Hank, then don't talk to him. You certainly seemed better without him around."
"I'm not sure anymore Val, I mean.......I feel almost as lost as when I first got here." Val reached forward and squeezed his hand. He cringed and pulled his hand away with a gentle, and apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, I forgot." He didn't reply, but kept the same soft smile on his face. "Why are you suddenly second guessing yourself Jamie?"
"I don't know." He replied, diverting his eyes.
"Is it because of what Tyler said?" When Jamie didn't reply she sighed. "It is. Jamie, I'm going to apologize for him."
"Don't." Jamie said softly. "Don't you dare, because it doesn't mean anything coming from you. YOUR not the one who said it, he is, and he wouldn't be apologizing if you do it." She was quiet for a minute before heaving a heavy sigh.
"Your right, I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry." She sat down beside him, and offered him the brightest smile she could muster
"So cheer up Jamie, you really don't want me bringing Brooke up here."
************************************************
All those noble thoughts they just don't belong
You can't hide the truth with a happy song
And since you knew where you stood all along
Just look up your rainy day man
*************************************************
Caitie studied Jamie from the doorway. "You look like hell."
"Hello to you too." He replied barely glancing up.
"What are you doing?"
"They're making me keep a journal now." Curiosity peeked, she wandered over. She did notice right away, he wasn't writing it in, doodling in the margins really.
"Why do they want you to keep one?"
"Said it was for my own benefit." He shrugged and threw the book aside, motioning for Caitie to sit down. "So, what's going on?"
"Ya know, life in Kingsport, never that exciting. I think Brooke is coming up within the next week or so." Jamie smiled tiredly.
"It'll be good to see her."
"What's wrong Jamie?"
"I just feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle, I guess." Caitie inched a bit closer to him.
"Let me guess. The super squad."
"Hank and Tyler." Jamie admitted. "Did Val tell you about when I ran into her, Brooke, and Tyler?"
"A little bit....she told me Tyler was out of line."
"I feel like anytime I try and get better, there's always someone there to pull me back down." Caitie put her hand on his shoulder.
"Jamie, all I can tell you is that if you want it bad enough, you'll achieve it."
"I suppose this situation really showed me who my real friends were." He put his head down on her shoulder and closed his eyes. She looked down at him in concern and let a sad smile touch her face.
"Yes, it really did."
*************************************************
Now simple pleasures they all evade you
Store-bought treasures none can save you
Look for signs to ease the pain
Ask again
Go on and pray for rain
************************************************
As promised, Brooke finally made it up to visit. Jamie made sure to be outside this day, as he didn't want the institute itself to upset her. Val, Caitie, and Brooke crested the hill, and he raised his hand in a slight wave. Brooke charged down ahead of the other two.
"Hi Jamie!"
"Hey Brooke." She quickly sat down across from him.
"I brought you something!" He raised an eyebrow as she produced a chocolate bar from her purse. Jamie grinned.
"Sugary goodness." He murmured as he gratefully accepted it. "How'd you sneak it in?"
"Mike said as long as we kept you happy for an hour, it was okay just this once." Val replied. Jamie offered a piece to each of the girls, who all declined before eating part and stashing the rest.
"So how's it going up here?" Caitie asked.
"As well as it can I guess. My schedule is different now."
"Is that good?" Val asked.
"Yeah, less therapy, so they must think I'm getting better."
"That's great Jamie!" Brooke exclaimed. He couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.
"Can I ask you something?" Val asked.
"Sure."
"Do you think things could ever be the same with the squad again?" Jamie was quiet for a few moments.
"I don't think so." He finally said, watching as her face fell. "To much has happened. There's been to much hurt..."
"I'm so sorry Jamie." Val said, her eyes trained on the ground.
"I'll still be your friend Val. I'll still be around, It just won't be like it use to be. It'll never be how it once was." She nodded and Brooke sighed.
"Your not coming back to the squad, are you?"
"No Brooke, I don't think I am."
"Well good." Caitie stated. "That means the chip in your brain has been deactivated." Jamie tried to stifle a laugh as Val turned on Caitie.
"What's that mean?"
"Nothing." Caitie rocked back on her heels, humming innocently. The visit went uneventfully from then on, making chit chat, and trying to take Jamie's mind off his current situation.
*************************************************
It looks like another fall
Your good friends they don't seem to help at all
When you're feeling kind of cold and small
Just look up your rainy day man
All I need to do is look up my rainy day man
*************************************************
Mike sat in the grass a few feet away from Jamie. He'd been in better spirits ever since the three girls had visited.
"What are you writing?" Mike asked, as the young man jotted something down in his journal.
"Its my official resignation from the EMT program." Jamie admitted.
"You really can't go back, can you?"
"No. I don't think I can. So much has happened...I was only there to begin with because I had to be. I remained there because I wanted to be part of that world still. I guess I just didn't belong there."
"Why would you say that?"
"I'm obviously not the only one who thinks it." Jamie replied with a slight shrug. "I figure I'll just make everyone's life a little more comfortable." Mike sighed.
"Do you really want to leave?" Jamie stopped and looked up at him for a moment before his answer came.
"I can't stay in a place where I can't trust the people I work with." And with that said, Mike pushed him no more.
*************************************************
Now what good is that happy lie
All you wanted from the start was to cry