Of course, I don't own Twilight. That would be the much talented, and insanely rich Stephanie Meyer.
We all owe her tons of credit for the use of her creations to which we use in our own little twisted fantasies.
PROLOGUE -
As much as living hurts without ... him, I've tried to move on as best as possible. It's been over a year now, and I think its time to face the unfortunate realization that he is not coming back. And as much as I try not to think of that day, there are tomes when I just can't help it. To hear the memory of his voice, the soft images of his Adonis-like face; it hurts. But that's when i can't help but smile the most. Not at the actual pain, but more of the reality of the pain. There was a time, i thought that i had gone numb. I was afraid i had lost it all, so there are times, when I'm glad the pain comes, as a reminder that everything that happened was real. That he, and that his family were real. I just wish his affections were real though. But ... no, they were just a figment of my own imagination i think. But over time, it's gotten better. I've gotten better. Thanks to Jake. I really don't know what i would've done without him. He's helped me through the worse of it all, and continues to be there regardless. I watch the way he looks at me without even realizing, so tender and warm. Loving, in a way, but doesn't he know that I'm broken. I can't be fixed. Worse of all, i don't want to be fixed. I want to stay this way, to keep the pain and aching hole in my chest. I can't betray the memory of him, of our love - or at least, my love for him.
a/n: this more or less is a journal type entry of Bella. i was going to do the story, in her point of view, but
changed my mind. please feel free to review and leave any sort of comments, i'd love to hear them! xbriony