The truth is –- we're all dying. From the moment we're born, we are all dying, and the universe is unspeakably cruel. Our one hope is that we can find some purpose, some meaning before that last day comes. Some happiness... and love.

- Peter Bishop, Fringe 3x22 The Day We Died

This late at night the lab was a silent haven. Now that she had her balance back, that the lights didn't pierce her eyes and make her ears buzz, now that the feel of the floor, hard and solid beneath her shoes, was once again familiar, it was good.

Even though she was nearly certain Fitz was going to get it all burned down.

"I'm still not sure this is the best idea," she mumbled, watching disapprovingly as he arranged the string of lights over the roof of the door.

If she hadn't been so nervous about him breaking safety protocol, she might have thought it endearing the way he carefully placed each hold, ensuring a pleasant symmetry in his decorating.

"Oh stop being a Grinch," he protested, eyes on his work as he spoke. "After…" He paused, puffing out a breath. "Well we could all use some cheer right now and I'm sure Coulson will let go of the rules for the occasion."

"Safety hazards don't take time off for Christmas Fitz," she scolded, though she knew her warning was being redirected straight to the spam folder in his brain.

She'd been protesting his current project on and off for nearly an hour already and he hadn't wavered. So instead of continuing the argument she strolled over to grab the fire extinguisher, the little one, all she'd need if she caught an early spark.

Her movement must have caught his attention because he glanced down at her, a look of indignation spreading across his face when he saw what she was holding.

"You're joking," he muttered.

"I never joke about safety," she told him firmly. "At least now I'll be prepared if all those lights make the power bar spark when you turn them on. This is a lab Fitz, we have dozens of highly flammable-"

"You think I can't set up a few fairy lights without burning down the base?!" he cried.

"-liquids. And yes you might burn down the base!" she shot back.

He huffed, clearly offended, but she saw his hands pause in their work and after a moment his shoulders fell. "Yeah… alright then," he conceded.

It didn't feel at all like a victory. "That's it? You're taking them down?" she asked in surprised. "Just like that?"

He sighed. "That is what you wanted isn't it?"

"Well it is but…" She pressed her lips together, staring back at up at him as he waited for her to finish the thought from the top of the ladder, fairy lights in hand.

'But I know you're only giving in because you don't want to do something that will upset me. Because you think you need to be gentle with me but you don't. You need to stop doing everything for me.'

She couldn't say that though. Telling Fitz to stop doing everything he could to make her happy was a bit like trying to tell the tide not to come in. It wasn't going to understand your argument and it couldn't stop itself even if it did. If you wanted to stop the tide you had to eliminate the moon, and she had no idea how to do that.

"It's just… you've arranged them so nicely, it would be a shame to take them down," she tried, smiling warmly and feeling her heart lifting up to him when he smiled back, frustration fading and giving way to affection that gushed out of him like chocolate chips melting out of a warm cookie. It was sweet and warm and full of promise.

Did he know that he didn't need electricity to light up a room? That all he needed to do was look at her like that?

He took in his work, tilting his head as if he were seeing it for the first time. "Yeah? You think I've done a good job with it?"

"I think you've done a lovely job with them," she agreed, nodding enthusiastically. "We don't need to light them up, we can just leave them as they are."

"It's a bit depressing to have them dark like that," he remarked, coming down the ladder to stand beside her, frowning at them before his smile returned and chuckled, turning his head towards her with sparkling eyes. "I always loved the glow they have lit up. My mum used to say that's what we look like to angels, all lit up with life together."

'It's what you look like to me,' she thought, heart aching in her chest.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him but she didn't know how. How could words express what she was feeling right now? How could she show him how precious he was in way that he'd believe her, a way that he'd understand?

"We can set some up in your room if you'd like," she offered. It wasn't enough, but it was all she could think to say.

His head shook through a yawn. "I think I need to sleep first," he told her. "Maybe tomorrow if we aren't busy dealing with the next disaster… You'd think Hydra would want to spend Christmas with their goblin babies not making our lives miserable." His attention shifted back to the lights, following the cord down to the floor where the plug lay next to the outlet. "First though…"

As she watched he strolled over to his desk, searching through his drawer before pulling out a pen and paper.

"What's that for?" she asked, following him to peer over his shoulder. In his neat, familiar writing she read Caution: Do not plug in. The words were underlined for emphasis.

"In case someone a bit less careful decides to touch what's not theirs," he explained.

It was probably the late hour that lowered her inhibitions, the lack of sleep that allowed her body to do what it wanted to do, free of the control she would have otherwise asserted upon it as she reached up her hand to graze the backs of her fingers against his cheek.

The action made him pause, surprised before his hand came up to join hers, holding it in place as he leaned into the back of her palm, their eyes meeting and though neither spoke it felt as if something important had been said.

"It's late," he mumbled after a few precious seconds had passed with their skin pressed together. She didn't want the contact to break but she couldn't find the courage to resist as he gently lowered her hand, running his thumb across the backs of her fingers before letting it go. "And I'm sure we'll need our rest for tomorrow."

He secured the note to the cable with a piece of tape and they walked together to their rooms. She wished she could hold his hand as they walked, wished she could kiss him goodnight when he left her at her door, but she was afraid, afraid of how she'd feel if she discovered he didn't want her to anymore.

Once she was alone in her bed, she tried to sleep but it wouldn't come. Tonight it wasn't fear that kept her eyes open but longing. It was an itch, crawling across her limbs like little spiders, scrambling across her stomach like a centipede, to reach out to him. It wasn't nearly as terrible as the nightmares, but it kept her awake all the same and she was almost angry with herself for it. Sleep still didn't come easily to her and nights like these, though more and more common, were something she had intended to take advantage of.

After nearly two hours of staring up at the ceiling, tracing patterns on it with her eyes as if that could lull her into slumber, she realized it was futile. She didn't want to sleep, she wanted one of two things: to creep into Fitz's room and tell him she loved him over and over until he believed it, or to do something that would make him feel even a fraction as loved as he made her feel.

The second one seemed far less daunting and, mind churning, an idea sparked in her head that made the corners of her mouth rise up.

Yes, that was perfect. Did she have the materials?… yes…. yes she did, she had everything…. it would take a few hours, maybe the entire night but….

Her grin spread across her face, sleep forgotten and she hopped out of bed, feeling like a Christmas elf as she snuck down the dark hallway and into the lab.

The lights flicked on automatically when she entered, illuminating her workshop, and she pulled on a lab coat over her pajamas, snapping on a pair of rubber gloves and some safety goggles before heading towards the supply cabinet.

It wasn't difficult, but she enjoyed it, applying well practiced techniques for the first time in too many months, feeling the familiar satisfaction that came from her ability to create from the vast library knowledge held in her head.

As her work came together, and she began to see the fruits of her labour, a completely different kind of satisfaction bubbled inside of her, a kind of joy that came from the thought of spreading joy to someone she loved.

This would surely bring out a smile from her favourite engineer. She couldn't wait to see his face in the morning when he came into the lab.

The clock read six thirty when, at last she had finished, and though the hush of night still held she thought she heard footsteps down the hall. People were waking up and, even though she knew Fitz probably wouldn't welcome the awakening, she also didn't want someone else to be the first to lay eyes on her work.

He wouldn't mind a bit of an early start, especially after she showed him her gift.

A groggy Fitz answered the door, creaking it open a minute after she'd knocked and when she saw his wide yawn she almost regretted waking him up. He wasn't angry though, instead his eyes were soft with that all too familiar concern, lighting abruptly with surprise as he took in her lab coat and pajama bottoms.

"Er… does Coulson need us for something?" he asked, confused.

She shook her head, throwing him a fond smile which only seemed to confuse him further. "I have a surprise for you."

This time she took his hand, leading him out into the hall, through the base and to the lab. He didn't resist, as she'd feared he might, but instead kept a steady grip on her, his touch spreading warmth up her arm and into her chest. He didn't ask where they were going, blindly trusting her in his state of midway between sleep and wakefulness, though he did yawn a few more times, blinking at the overhead lights as his eyes adjusted. It was nice, the quiet between them, filled with peace and comfort rather than the tension it had held on and off for over a year now.

"Close your eyes," she instructed when they'd nearly reached the entrance.

He turned to her, eyebrows raised and she smiled, gently swinging their hands between them.

"You'll like it, I promise," she said, her voice coming out like candle light.

"Alright then," he conceded. He must have heard it too, in the way she spoke, because he smiled, shutting them with exaggerated tightness. "They're closed."

"And no peeking," she warned.

His only response to that was an offended huff. Of course I'm not going to peek.

She led him into the lab, placing her hands on his shoulders to position him so that he would see it the moment he opened his eyes and he let her, patient, trusting and maybe also still half asleep.

"Keep them closed!" she urged.

The noise he made was somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle. "Jemma what-"

"I'm almost finished," she promised, rushing over to switch off the overhead lights. They usually weren't turned off manually but this was a special occasion. When she'd returned to his side she reached down to reclaim his hand, delighted at the ease at which he accepted the gesture. "You can open them now," she chirped.

When he did, taking in her gift, the expression on his face was worth a million nights spent awake.

Strung out before him were his fairy lights, glowing in shades of green and blue, lighting up the darkness, like Fitz lit up hers.

"It's-"

"Chemiluminescence, yes," she nodded, radiating warmth when he turned to look at her, his expression filled with such wonder at such a seemingly little thing, such wonder at her for creating it.

"You did this, for me?" The astonishment in his voice tugged at her heart.

Her head bobbed up and down in a dazed nod and she felt her eyes burn. "I did. They don't run on electricity so we can keep them on without-

"Without them being a fire hazard," he finished, gaze boring into her. It wasn't fair, the things his eyes could do, the things they could make her feel. "It's genius."

"I wanted you to have your fairy lights," she explained, words coming out in a rush because her stomach was suddenly buzzing with nerves at the way he was looking at her. "You did such a nice job arranging them and I, well I thought you could use some cheer after- after the year we've had and I wanted you to have something that…" she paused, the thing she wanted to say tangling up on it's way out, stalling her though he listened with rapt attention for her to continue. "I… I wanted to do something that would make you feel as special as you make me feel…" she went on, her voice falling just above a whisper, "as special as you are to me."

"As…" He looked from her to the lights, at a loss for words, eyes brightening as if he were fighting back tears.

Then, without warning his arms were around her, holding her tightly but not with the desperation or hunger for comfort that had been so insistently present each timed they'd embraced this past year. This was joy, pure and untainted, strengthening his hold on her and then hers on him when she brought up her arms to return it, pushing her smile into his shoulder.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. He turned his head and his lips brushed her cheek in a soft kiss that was like the friendly warmth of a fireplace in a quiet cottage. "It's perfect."

"You're quite welcome," she answered happily. She twisted around, keeping her grip on him and resting her cheek on his chest to take in their creation. It was beautiful, and both of theirs, the way more things should be. Maybe next year they would. "You've never done that before," she said softly.

His chin nuzzled her hair. "Done what?"

"Kissed my cheek," she told him. "I…" She wasn't sure why her ears suddenly burned, there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but all this still felt new, exciting. "If you ever wanted to do it again, I wouldn't mind."

Even though she couldn't see his face she heard the smile in his tiny puff of a chuckle. "I wouldn't mind doing it again either."

She wasn't sure how long they stood there, holding each other as they listened to the base wake up. They had a surprisingly long time to themselves and it was wonderful. It was one of the best mornings she'd had in a very long while, free of fear or loneliness, exactly where she wanted to be.

There would be more chaos to come, more heartache and fear, but right then she felt hopeful for the future, for a future with Fitz and, just for a moment none of the rest of it seemed to matter. In the lab, in Fitz's arms beneath the fairy lights, they were happy and the world was filled with peace and love.

/-/-/

Thanks for being my giftee :D You were great and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas (and enjoyed your present!) So glad I had a chance to get to know you a bit and that I'm following you now :D

I'm not sure if Jemma actually had time to put all this together in one night, I've never made lights out of chemiluminscent proteins/bacteria so I have no clue what the time range is but it's Christmas (which is magic) and it's Jemma (who is magic) so here it is :D