The scene opens on a deserted construction site. The Animorphs are gathered around a piano, at which an insane-looking redhead sits, playing the theme from Phantom. Ax is in human morph, wearing a white mask that covers half his face.
Jake: Remind me again why we're doing this?
Me: Because I said so.
Marco: And why did you say so?
Me: Because Ax is the cutest thing on two--wait, four--legs, and it'll be sooooo sweet to see him singing the part of a crazed mass murderer.
Ax: What is a mass murderer? Urder? Er? Mur? M--
Me: *puts a hand over his mouth* You're very cute and I love you, but do me a favor and shut up.
Rachel: OK, might as well get this thing over with. Where are the words?
Me: Inside my mind.
Tobias: *dryly* Oh, how original.
Me: *starts playing and singing*
The Phantom of the Dome Ship
In sleep he morphed with me
In dreams we fought
That voice which says weird things
That he's been taught
And do we fight again?
For now I find
The Phantom of the Dome Ship is there
Inside my mind
Marco: Wait, wouldn't that make him a Yeerk?
Jake: No, not really.
Marco: Um, why not?
Rachel: Because Erik is cool, and you aren't, Marco. Oh, wait--did I say "you"? I'm sorry. I meant to say "Yeerks."
Me: OK Ax, go.
Ax: Morph once again with me
That strange DNA
Your time that's left in morph
Grows short today
And though you fight with him
I'll get him from behind
The Phantom of the Dome Ship is there
Inside your mind
*stops singing* I don't understand. Fight with whom?
Me: Visser Three, I think.
Jake: You think? You're the one who wrote these words!
Cassie: I have a question. Does Erik die?
Marco: I hope so. He's getting annoying.
Cassie: Hey! Be kind to phantoms and other animals! *hugs a tree*
Tobias: What?! Erik isn't an animal! He's a person, just like you and me! Oh wait . . . I mean, just like you. I mean . . . great, now I'm all confused.
Me: What he said. Stop being a snotty bitch, Cassie. (AN: I've always wanted to say that to her!) Erik is a person, not an animal.
Jake: I would hope so, after what you've written . . .
Me: *blushes* Hey, smut is a very sensitive subject.
Rachel: Can we get ON WITH IT PEOPLE!!! Thanks.
Me: Those who have seen your Andalite form
Draw back in fear
Your human morph is the mask you wear
Ax: It's thought-speak they hear
Both: The Animorphs' DNA and your/my voice
In one, combined
The Phantom of the Dome Ship is there
Inside my/your mind
Animorphs: He's there, the Phantom of the Dome Ship
He's weird, the Phantom of the Dome Ship
Tobias: No offense, Ax.
Me: Hey, that's not in the script!
Cassie: Are you sure Erik doesn't die?
Me: Well, he does in the original book, but then, that's written in French, so who can trust the translation? He doesn't in the musical, but then, the music is written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, and we all know how weird he is. I mean, the man wrote CATS, for Christ's sake!
Marco: Hey, don't diss CATS!
Everyone: *stares at him*
Me: I don't wanna know. Ax . . .
Ax: In all your Yeerk battles
You always knew
That boy and Andalite
Me: Were both, in you
Both: And in this construction site
Where Elfangor died
The Phantom of the Dome Ship is there
Inside my/your mind
Ax: Sing, my angel of morphing!
Me: He's there, the Phantom of the Dome Ship
*starts singing really high*
Meanwhile . . .
Ax: Since she made me listen to the recording of this on your human CD player . . . why does Erik sound so . . . strange when he talks in this song?
Everyone else: *tries not to giggle*
Jake: Well, um, Ax, do you . . . knowhowbabiesaremade? *said in an embarrassed rush*
Ax: *long pause* Oh.
Jake: Um, yeah, well, supposedly, Erik gets really . . . how shall we say . . . aroused at the sound of Christine's voice. Heh. Heh.
Ax: *even longer pause* Ohhh.
Everyone else: Um, yeah.
Me: *stops singing for a second* Ax? Hello?
Ax: Oh, uh . . . SING FOR ME!!!
Me: *sings really high, long note*
The scene closes on a deserted construction site. The Animorphs are gathered around a piano, in front of which an insane-looking redhead stands. She and Ax are locked in a passionate kiss.
gradual fade out . . .