Turnabout
Rating: A STRONG PG-13, with mentions of sex. None is graphic, though, and the whole fic is much less strong than anything we've ever seen on either Buffy or Angel.
Disclaimer: Everyone associated with the Buffyverse is owned by Joss Whedon, et al. In other words, not me. Whedon et al are also the ones profiting from the Buffyverse. In other words, not me again.
Pairings: Dawn/Angel. Mentions Dawn/Spike and Buffy/Angel and Buffy/Spike.
Summary: Dawn and Angel have an agreement.

A/N: This fic takes place some time in the future. No time is actually specified, but it's well after Dawn is a "consenting adult." If that even applies to balls of energy that take human form. Again, thanks to Joanna for the beta.

He is, of course, utterly beautiful. Oh, there's no denying that. In fact, he may be more beautiful than the man I actually love, in the classic sense. His hair's a little more perfect, his muscles a little more bulging, his fingers a little longer. . . . but, regardless of all those little things that are better, I don't love Angel.

That doesn't prevent him from coming to my bed. Well, I suppose I shouldn't phrase it like that. It makes it sound like I don't play an active role in this. . . whatever this is. And, to be honest, I don't know what to call it. For a long while, I classified it under the "Meaningless Sex" category, but that's not exactly true. Our relationship is full of "meaning," it's just that the said meaning is exceedingly complicated. There's even some affection, I suppose.

No, I don't have to "suppose." I like Angel. I care for him even. The longer I know him, the easier it is to care for him. There's so much more to him than the Hero Upon the Pedestal that Buffy placed him on. I sometimes wonder if Buffy ever knew Goofy Angel that likes the Three Stooges, or Sentimental Angel that listens to Barry Manilow, or Conflicted Angel that still prays to the very same rosary that would burn him.

I really don't think she knows any of them. She knew Moonstruck With Love Angel, and Tortured Angel, but never really delved deep enough into Angel's character to actually know him. Sometimes I believe that you can't really love someone if you don't know them. But then I think of my sister, and how strongly she felt. . . still feels about Angel. That has to be love, doesn't it? Because the relationship they had was single handedly responsible for shaping how Buffy feels about any and all other relationships she's ever had with a member of the male gender, including Spike.

Angel never counted on that as an outcome. He truly expected, in his wonderfully sweet but shamefully naïve fashion, that Buffy would find utter happiness with some Joe Schmo normal guy. I've tried to picture that, on occasion. Buffy with a shoe salesman from Utah. . . Buffy with a teacher from Georgia. . . Buffy with a doctor from Pennsylvania.

Nope, the mental images aren't readily forthcoming. The closest I can get is Buffy with a psychology TA from Iowa, and we all know how well that turned out. Given what Buffy's told me, I can be pretty certain that Riley was far from what Angel had in mind when he left Buffy's life. But then, we can't always finish what we start, can we? Angel certainly couldn't.

Which is why he's lying next to me now, completely nude and still, and I lie next to him, no way near as still with the sheet draped across my skin. Sometimes, when he is not quite as anguished as he is tonight, he teases me about my insistent "modesty." Given the circumstances, I suppose it is humorous.

I'm screwing my sister's soulmate because she's screwing the man I love. Why bother with covering up?

Buffy doesn't know, of course, and neither does Spike. I know how Buffy would feel, because I felt it the moment I first saw Buffy and Spike together. When the man you love with all your heart chooses to be with your sister. . . Not that Angel "chose" me anymore than I chose him.

Oh, no. I want Spike. Angel wants Buffy. It's that simple, and those two things are never going to change.

On the other hand, Spike wants Buffy. Buffy wants Spike.

Thus, the solution is obvious. Spike and Buffy are together, as are Angel and me. Well, maybe it's more convoluted than obvious, but still. . .

It's the only way, really. If either Angel or I sought the comfort of others, we'd wind up hurting them. That's kind of the inevitable path when you use someone. This way, though, Angel and I are using each other. No strings, no heartache. Or, at least, no additional heartache. Nobody gets hurt.

In fact, this is probably the safest sex Angel can ever have. I'm a living reminder of everything he'll never have. I think it's safe to say that his "curse" isn't going to be a factor anytime soon. "Perfect happiness" is a bit beyond his grasp. Of course, it's a bit beyond mine, too.

The End

A/N, II: I'm contemplating a second chapter from Angel's POV, if there's any interest in this one.