Author's Note: I don't own any part of NCIS or its characters.
This is based off the prompt '2am.'
Enjoy!
"You are never going to understand!"
The tears were hot on her face. She was so tired of fighting with him and she found herself wishing he would just leave it alone.
"Oh, I'm never going to understand? Sure, because I've never lost anyone I love."
Ziva sighed. "That is not what I meant."
"Except that it is. You think when I lost Jeanne it didn't mean anything to me? What about Kate?" Ziva noticed the tears now streaking down his cheeks. "I'm sorry I don't know what it's like to lose my younger sister, but I do know what it's like to lose someone I love."
She reached for his hand. "Tony, please."
But he shook her hand off. "No, I'm done arguing with you. It's two in the morning; I have no fight left in me."
"So what does this mean?" she asked as she wiped her tears away. "Does this mean it is over?"
"Over?" Tony asked skeptically and then laughed. "Is that your solution? Once things get tough, you end it?"
Ziva wiped at her tears again as she moved away from him, pacing the living room. She had nothing to say and wasn't sure anything would help the cause. This was a never-ending fight they got into whenever the topic of her past came up. She was used to shutting it out and never talking about it. It was how she was raised. Losing loved ones was just a part of her life. But Tony didn't understand that.
"Come on, Ziva, don't stop fighting now."
The tears fell faster and she still had no answer. Because it was true. She never fought for her relationships with anyone. She caught a glimpse of the clock. 2:13.
Suddenly, Tony was standing in front of her. "I know you don't talk about it. I know you think that's an easy way to deal with it. But all I want to do is help."
"Help? You think you are helping when you throw Jeanne in my face? Or Kate?" she asked. "I know you loved Jeanne. I know you loved Kate. But do you know what it's like to watch your sixteen year old sister die? Do you know what it's like to suddenly see your family ripped apart?"
And now Tony stood with no answer. "I am sorry I do not open up about my past. It is just how I was raised to deal with things."
He stroked her cheek with his thumb, catching tears as they fell. "I don't want you to be afraid anymore. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide behind the past."
She wanted to be honest with him. She wanted to trust him. She knew she could trust him. And yet, she hesitated. "I do not know any other way."
"I can help you."
"But I do not understand why I need to change anything," Ziva said, her voice rising again. She was frustrated he wouldn't drop this all. "I have been fine all these years and now you are making a huge deal out of it all."
"Jesus, Ziva, why can't you just let me help you?" Now, Tony was almost yelling back at her. "Why can't you let me into your life?"
Ziva couldn't even form words through her sobs. She rarely ever cried and it was for this reason. She hated feeling weak and vulnerable. She hated when people thought she needed her help. "Why would you ever want to help me?"
He laughed again but Ziva couldn't figure out what was so funny. "Why are you laughing?"
"Because, Ziva, I love you. Have I not made that clear?"
She expected this to happen sooner or later. They hadn't been "together" for long, but they had been friends for what seemed like a lifetime. She loved him too, but was always hesitant about telling him. "I'm damaged goods, Tony."
He was standing in front of her again, his thumb back on her cheek. "Everyone's damaged goods, Ziva. It makes us who we are." And then he kissed her, and for once in her life, she didn't care if she was vulnerable or weak.
Because she was loved.