Title: Savior
Author: Lisa
Rating: G
Author's Notes:
Hi minna! I am on vacation for a few weeks and, of course, will be using some of my time off to work on my fics! I still owe updates to "Shipwrecked" and "Remembrance," but in the meantime, here is a short one-shot in Mamoru's p.o.v. taking placing at the end of Episode 8 of Sailor Moon Crystal (right before Usagi is revealed as the princess). Hope you enjoy, and please drop me a review at the end!
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and the others don't belong to me, but this story does.
I had been wandering aimlessly through the streets of Tokyo for what seemed like hours now. I barely registered the streetlights flickering on and flooding the sidewalks with their fluorescent glow and the gradual thinning of the crowds as they headed home for what promised to be another quiet fall evening. Not for me – no, the previous night's events replayed themselves in my mind like a never-ending slideshow of misery, taunting me for my inability to be the man that she needed. What I had said to Usako during our unexpected encounter in the park was painfully true. I was too embarrassed to look her in the face because I had failed to live up to my name. I had failed her in the worst moment.
I sighed and watched as the small puff of steam rose then dissipated in the night air as the horrible images again clawed at my battered ego. Zoisite's hands had clenched onto her so tightly, undoubtedly leaving bruises on her flawless porcelain skin as he mocked us. All the while I lay there, every part of me screaming to get up and save her. I just…couldn't. This wasn't the first time I had come face to face with my powerlessness. It certainly, however, would be the most memorable. I wasn't strong enough then, and a part of me doubted that I could ever be strong enough to deserve her. My beautiful Usako…
I clenched my fists so tightly I could feel the blood drain from my hands. She had been seconds away from being ripped apart by Zoisite's ice crystal. I could see the fear in those sky blue eyes as she digested the very likely and imminent reality of her untimely death. Her breaths had come out in gasps, her cheeks flushed as adrenaline coursed through her veins, her body equally torn between fight or flight. All the while I watched and pleaded for her life. How could I have just watched…?
Having reached a newfound level of disgust with myself, I almost missed the fluttering that signaled new trouble was brewing. I took a few deep breaths, wondering if I had only imagined the feeling that I could only describe as butterflies dancing within the pit of my stomach. No, they were real. I felt the inexplicable pull that would draw me to her, Sailor Moon, my Usako, and succumbed to its mysterious power. This time, I vowed, I would not fail her. My opportunity for redemption had come, and I wasn't about to let it pass me by while I still had breath left in me.
I spotted her just as I arrived on the battle scene, a streak of gold that was falling down the length of the Tokyo Tower with alarming speed. Praying that my skills of coordination and precision had not yet deserted me, I swooped down toward Usako's tiny frame and nearly cried out in relief when I felt her warm body fall into my awaiting arms. She was half-conscious when we made impact, but I soon felt her stirring as we landed to safety on a nearby beam. Usako's eyes widened with surprise, relief, gratitude, and another emotion I couldn't quite place as we crouched over the rather precariously placed beam, breathing heavily and our bodies humming with energy.
Why was it that she was surprised every time I came to her rescue? Was it that she thought me incapable, so that any time I actually succeeded in saving her, it was an unexpected victory? Or was it that she thought herself undeserving of rescue, that each time I came could be my last before I decided she wasn't worth it? But it couldn't be the latter...could it? The very thought that she didn't see herself as I saw her left me sick to my stomach. Couldn't she see her true worth? Didn't she know that I would do anything for the strong, determined, sometimes silly but always adorable, and breathtakingly gorgeous girl in front of me? How could she, when you just watched as she was about to be torn to pieces last night? A nasty voice in my head reminded me of my previous failure. I swallowed the lump that instantly formed in my throat, suddenly unable to meet those eyes that openly allowed me to peer into the very depths of her soul.
I opened my mouth to speak but promptly had the wind knocked out of me by the force of her embrace. Usako's arms were gripping me so tightly to the point of pain, but I wasn't complaining. How many times had I dreamt of holding her like this? I wanted to return her hug yet was frozen by the boldness of her initiation. She separated from me but kept those deceptively strong hands clutched around my shoulders. I remained statue-still like an idiot, my mouth hanging open, unable to process the blur of events and her dizzying closeness.
"It's too dangerous here! We'll take care of the enemy," Usako said with a conviction that I had never heard her use before. "Please run as far as you can!"
The last sentence hit me like one of those metal beams that we were currently balanced on. Did she expect me to run while she faced danger head on with her newfound courage and determination? Not a chance. I had to show her that I wasn't afraid, that I could be the Mamoru she deserved. Her strength gave me strength, and I would draw on it to protect her at any cost.
I began to protest but was soon silenced by a pair of soft lips. I froze yet again as her lips ravaged mine with a kind of desperation that both scared and excited me. Her eyes were closed while mine remained stubbornly open as I silently reeled from the shock of it all. She had kissed me. Her lips were moving against mine, filling me with a kind of peace that I'd never thought I would be able to experience. My mind wasn't able to process the meaning behind her act. Did it…did she…did we…?
Before I could even return her kiss, let alone get a word in to make sense of anything, Usagi had broken away from me. She graced me with one last tender look that left me shaking, then sprinted away into the darkness. I watched with unabashed awe as she gracefully jumped from beam to beam and re-entered the battle. This was her true self, her true potential, I realized then. She just needed to see it herself. And if she let me, I would spend the rest of my life reminding her of her worth.
Lost in rosy musings of what could be, I barely registered the growing ball of green energy beneath Kunzite's fingertips until it was almost too late. As the force of his attack grew, I watched with increasing alarm as I saw her jump in front of her senshi and very best friends, shielding them with her own body. That was my selfless, amazing Usako. Time seemed to stand still as I processed the sheer terror that gripped me from the possibility of losing her. Unconsciously, little by little, she had worked herself into my closed-off heart until it was brimming with her. She had become the embodiment of my dreams and wishes – my only hope for the future. To lose her would be to lose myself all over again. To lose her would be to lose all reason for living.
"I will protect you, Usako!" There was no inner debate, not even a flash of our so-called instinctual need for self-preservation. There was only her and the sight of the deadly attack that was now being hurled at her with full speed. I only had one goal, one mission to erase a lifetime of loneliness and regrets, and I wasn't able to fail now when it most mattered.
The impact could only be described as a million needles piercing me from the inside and threatening to rip me apart. The pain felt like white-hot pokers placed against my bare skin, burning and burning until only ash remained. Unconsciousness beckoned to me now with the promise of bringing an end to the agony. It was an inviting offer, one I had no choice but to accept even if I wanted to resist. I was falling, falling until I felt her softness beneath me. I was in her arms again, arms that gripped me so closely until it was almost as if we were one. Suddenly I had no more pain, no more fears.
Now I won't disappoint you anymore, Usako. My last act is my gift to you for all the happiness you brought me in this cruel world. I only wish I could hear you call me Mamo-chan one last time…
As the darkness dragged me under with its iron grip, I couldn't help the smile that lifted the corners of my lips almost imperceptibly. She was my savior, but this time and for the last time, I would be hers.
Done! You know, this had always been one of my favorite scenes (and obviously a turning point in the series), so I'm glad I could finally explore what might've been going through our poor Mamo's head at that point. Thoughts? Please leave me a review, and be on the look-out for more ficlets/new chapters to my other stuff over the next few weeks! :)
This story was written and posted November 2015.
