Title- Innocence
Author- Abbie Carmichael
Contain Warning- language, rape, and violence
Disclaimer- I don't own it, I don't get money so shut up
Season/Spoilers- First season within the first few eppys.
Summary- A friend's touch can heal so easily, but can hurt easier.
Pairing- Olivia/other
Archive- if you want it, take it, just please tell me.
Authors note- Okay, I know I'm working on Tough Life, but as I was starting on a new chapter, and this came to me. It might sound a little different was of healing to rape, but this is how my friend dealt with it, and I am writing this for her. I hope you enjoy.
Innocence is defined "The state, quality, or virtue of being innocent." I am not asking you to know this. I'm just trying to make you understand, because if you can remember there was a time when you were innocent. Maybe you still are, maybe not. But the fact is there is someone in your life who is, who if ripped from such a pure state would not only hurt themselves, but you too.
"Hey, I'm leaving for the night," Olivia said, standing up and yawning.
"You do realize that it is only 7?" Munch teased.
"The infamous Benson leaving before she is forced?" Elliot joined in.
"Shut it boys," she said.
"Oh… someone's moody," Brian said, smiling.
"Ya know what," Olivia said, "I'm going to go," she said, pointing to the door with both index fingers in a swaying motion with a plaster smile.
"See ya," Munch said, looking up.
"Bye Liv," Elliot said shyly.
Olivia walked out of the office and to her car, heading to her apartment to get ready for her date.
Ring. Olivia heard the buzz as she was applying the last bit of lip stick. She slipped on her heels and let Mark in the building.
As she heard the knock she opens the door to a smiling hansom man.
"Wow. Olivia, you look amazing," he said, making Olivia blush.
"Not bad yourself," she said, adding a kiss.
"Ready?"
"Yeah, let me get my purse," she said, turning her back. She could feel his eyes following her every movement.
They walked down the stairs to his car on the side of the road.
"So how have you been? I mean, you've changed so much…" Mark said as they were seated at the little Italian restaurant.
"Um… better," she said. "I mean, you are right, I have changed. I am a detective now," Olivia said, picking up the menu.
"I told you," Mark said smiling. "I take it you don't live with your mom."
"Um… she died," Olivia said, holding back a tear.
"Oh… I'm sorry… I didn't know…" Mark said, feeling bad. "How you holding up?"
"Okay actually. I mean, I guess I never really got over it, but it wasn't the biggest lost in my life," Olivia said, genuinely smiling.
"That's good," Mark said. They continue into conversation until the waiter came back.
Olivia spent that night catching up with Mark. He had been her best friend forever. He was the only one who knew the truth about her family in school and was always there. He was the one who was her first boyfriend, her first love, and her first heartbreak. But, however, they stayed close. He moved to Boston, then to St. Louis, but came back to New York every once in a while. Though, it had been forever since his last visit.
"Well, I think they might kick us out if we don't leave," Olivia said, finishing off her wine.
"Okay. Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?" Mark asked.
"Um… could you drop me off at my place?" she asked.
"Sure," he said, placing a credit card in the hand of a waiter as he stood.
They walked out to his car and drove off. In about a half hour he pulled up to the sidewalk. Olivia led him up to her room and kissed him goodbye at the door.
"Oh what, the infamous Benson still doesn't let guys in after dark," Mark teased.
"Mark…" Olivia couldn't go in further with him. Not again.
"No, don't worry about," he said, turning to leave. As he walked down the hall, Olivia stopped him
"Wait! Um… only for a minute?"
"Just to talk," Mark said. Olivia let in, desire taking over. Olivia let him in, knowing very well it wasn't 'just to talk'.
They did talk for a while, but Mark was getting restless. He leaned over and kisses Olivia. She replied with a kiss, on more on lust than love. They continue to make out on the couch until Mark started at Olivia's clothes. She pushes him off.
"No," she says flatly.
"Oh come on," he tries. "Olivia, it's been forever…"
"And I want to keep it that way," she said, completely pushing him off of her.
"Livvy…" he starts.
"Just go," Olivia said, standing.
"I'm sick of this. Every fuckin` time I come, this always happens!" he yells.
"Mark," Olivia tries to reason.
"Shut it!" he says, pulling her to the couch with him. She struggles, but he is bigger than her, a lot bigger than her. He held her with one hand until he got on top of her. Olivia tried to fight it, but she couldn't. Nothing could get him off of her.
About twenty minutes later, he left. She stayed on the couch, not trusting herself to get up. Her mind would not let her go to sleep. Thoughts of him flooded her awake if she tried. But, what scared her was that it was the good stuff. Him hiding her in his room when her mom locked her out of her house for a week, their first date all played out slowly in her head. How could the person she trusted more than life itself do this?
The next morning Olivia woke up slowly. She moved from the couch to get in a shower. She let the water hit her body slowly, but never reacted to the extreme chill. After getting out, she dressed in her jeans and long read V-cut shirt. After starting the coffee, she picked up a little. By eight she was out the door. And by nine she was to work.
"Hey," Munch greeted.
"Hi," Olivia said, equally cheery.
"So how was your date last night?" Munch teased.
"What date?" she asked innocently.
"Benson," she heard the captain call. She followed the voice to his office. "You okay?" he asked, looking up.
"Why?" she asked immediately.
"You look… out of it," he said, raising a brow.
"Just didn't sleep well," she lied.
"Okay, well go meet Stabler at St. John's hospital," he said.
"Alright," Olivia said.
Olivia drove down to the hospital slowly. She had made it past Cragen, now just Elliot.
"Hey," she said to a nurse. "I'm Detective…" the nurse cut her off.
"Down the hall on you right, then the third door on your left," she said, smiling.
"Thanks…" Olivia ran down to the room to find Elliot.
"What happened?"
"She was found last night. She said it was her mom's friend. Sick bastard," he mumbled. Olivia gasped as she walked in the room. A girl, about five was hooked up to many machines. Her face was covered with patches.
"Hey honey," Olivia started. She talked to the little girl who said only three audible words the whole time. About an hour later Olivia and Elliot left, but Olivia promised she would be back.
On the way to Olivia's car they talked about the little girl. Olivia was happy he was too caught up in this case to worry about her.
Besides, the little girl was more important. The girl didn't ask for it. The little girl didn't open the door for him. The little girl didn't know better.
Olivia never told a soul about that night. She knew she wouldn't be treated the same if she did. She really didn't want to be treated like a vic. So she kept it inside to slowly eat her. That night would tear her apart; because like the little girl, she had lost one thing that was suppose to be hers… her innocence.