Story: Wolverine: The Collective Remakes of Awesomeness
Author: Master Jin Sonata
Written: May 17th, 2009
Genre: Humor/Adventure
Rating: T (Violence, Language)
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or its awesome clawed berserker.
The originals have been removed, and the updated versions are now in this new final update!
Along with huge error fixes compared to the originals, in this collective you will find:
Wolverine's Birthday Party
(With Added Dialog & Extended Ending)
Originally Published On May 20th, 2007
Wolverine Just Wants His Beer, Bub
(With New Scenes & Extended Ending)
Originally Published On June 20th, 2007
Wolverine Shouldn't Fight Magneto Alone
(New Chapters)
Originally Published On September 13th
New Short: Wolverine vs Sabertooth: Burger Brawl
Wolverine's Birthday Party Part 1 of 2
The Night Before
Professor Xavier and the other X-Men were in the lobby ready to begin preparations for Logan's big birthday bash.
"Students, to make this celebration the best ever for our friend Wolverine, I will pair all of you with one another and take on separate tasks to see that everything gets done before he gets back tonight," Professor Xavier explained.
"Oh this outta be good…" Iceman whispers to Cyclops.
"Since when did Logan like birthday party anyways?" Jubilee whispers to the others.
"I don't know, but I hope it doesn't end up like the last one we threw for him…" Nightcrawler says with a sigh. "Do you know how long it took me to pull that beer bottle out of my ass after Wolverine got pissy when the piñata didn't drop cigars or booze?"
"Ahem!," Professor Xavier said, getting their attention once again. Cyclops and Jubilee, you two make the birthday cake. Jean Grey and Beast, you two send out the guest invitations. Iceman and Gambit, you get the party favors. Storm and Nightcrawler, you two will keep a lookout for Wolverine and make sure he doesn't find out about the party. Okay, all of you are dismissed."
With that said, the students nodded in agreement and set out to carry on with their gropu projects.
Cyclops and Jubilee: Take 1
In the kitchen, Cyclops and Jubilee are ready to prepare a large cake for Wolverine.
"Here's the deal: you hand me the ingredients, and I'll mix them in while I read the directions," Cyclops stated. Jubilee nodded and went to the fridge.
"I'll need two eggs…"
Jubilee opened the fridge and looks around for some eggs, She eventually found some in the back, but they had gone rotten.
"Oh well, It won't hurt…" she thought, grabbing them anyway.
"A bottle of milk…"
Jubilee searched high and low for the milk, but couldn't find any.
"Damn, no milk…I'll just use some of this stuff then," she thought, grabbing a brown bottle from the door instead.
"Two cups of flour, a cup of baking soda and a cup of sugar…"
Jubilee now went into the cabinets. Inside she saw a bag of white material, but the letters were faded. There wasn't any baking soda either, so she used Alum instead. As for the sugar, they were out too. She grabbed a box of frosted flakes as a substitute.
"And a dash of oil…"
"Hmm…I wonder what kind of oil he wants…"
Jubilee left the kitchen, and returned with a bottle of Wolverine's motorcycle-oil.
With all the ingredients gathered, Cyclops mixed them all together while he continued to read the instructions, not even noticing what Jubilee had given him.
Jean Gray and Beast: Take 1
Underground, Beast was working hard on his computer. Jean Gray came inside shortly after and walks up to him. She was carrying a cup of coffee and a floppy disk.
"I have the list of people we should send invitations too," she said, handing Beast the floppy disk.
"Ah, good. Let me just minimize this info containing the information on our arch villains and open the E-Mail program," Beast said, inserting the disk into the computer and typing in the info. "There, now all we do is wait as the information processes before being sent."
"That was easy," Jean said, taking a sip from her coffee, but suddenly it slips out of her hand and spills onto the computer's keyboard. "Oh my, I'm so sorry!" she said, looking to get something to clean the mess up with.
"It's no bother. I spill things on this keyboard many times and it hasn't caused any trouble yet. Come, let's get a towel from the hallway."
The two left the room temporarily, not knowing that the computer began to short circuit.
Iceman and Gambit
In the lobby, Gambit was waiting for Iceman to return with the party favors as he sets up the decorations. The door slams open and Iceman walks in with a large box of goodies.
"Check out what I got! All they had was kiddie stuff, so I went to the smoke-shop and got Wolverine his favorite cigars!" Iceman said, plopping the box in front of Gambit.
"Cigars? How did you manage to get these," Gambit asked, picking one up, not noticing that he was discharging kinetic energy inside the material.
"I borrowed your Photo I.D.!" Iceman responded.
"…And you weren't questioned by the shop owner?" Gambit asks
"Nope, not at all!" Iceman said with a cheesy smile.
"…Right…" Gambit replied, setting the cigar back inside the box. "C'mon, let's get this finished."
"Gotcha!" Iceman responds."Guess I'll tell him later that I froze the shop owner and made off with the goods after he threatened to hand me over to the authorities…" he thought to himself.
Storm and Nightcrawler
Outside of the mansion, Storm and Nightcrawler are both on the lookout for any signs of Wolverine's impending arrival.
"Okay, you keep watch in the back, I'll watch the front. Use this walkie-talkie to keep in touch with me if he happens to show up over on your side. I'll do the same if he comes to mine," Storm instructs Nightcrawler.
"Gotcha," Nightcrawler said, as he teleported to the back of the mansion.
Just as soon as Nightcrawler re-appeared, he was suddenly ran-over by a large black SUV, while his walkie-talkie was crushed under the tires. Out of the SUV stepped Wolverine, who looked extremely tied and beaten.
"Damn Sabertooth crushing my motorcycle…glad I decided to steal his new ride…" Wolverine grumbled, as he got out and went inside through the back.
Cyclops and Jubilee: Take 2
Back in the kitchen, Jubilee watches as the cake began to rise in the oven. As the aroma began filling the air, she smelled it, and then became a bit nauseous.
"Hmm…smells like that stuff Wolverine drinks…" Jubilee thought.
"How's it coming along?" Cyclops asks while getting the icing and candles out.
"Um…just fine!" Jubilee lies, giving a really big giveaway-cheesy smile at Cyclops, who once again doesn't notice her flawed part in the baking.
Jean Gray and Beast: Take 2
The two entered back into the lab with towels, and cleaned up the mess from the spilled coffee.
"There, all clean. Now let's check to see if the invitations were all sent," Beast said, turning on his monitor. His eyes widened as he gazed at what was on screen now.
"What is it?" Jean asks.
"Oh my…that spilled coffee must had short circuited my computer and crossed both of my programs together…now it seems those invitation were sent out to all of our arch-villains instead…" Beast said with a very worried look.
Minutes Later In The Lobby
Professor Xavier gathers everyone for a quick evaluation before they head to bed.
"How's the birthday cake?" the professor asks.
"Looking good!" Cyclops said, ah he and Jubilee showed it to them.
"Have the invitations been sent?" the professor asks next.
"Um…you could say that..." Beast said with uncertainty. Jean Grey nudges him hard to make him fix his attitude.
"And the decorations seem to be in place," the professor comments.
"Yep, and I got something Wolverine will enjoy. It'll be a blast!" Iceman boasted while Gambit rolled his eyes.
"Lastly, any word on Wolverine?" the professor inquires.
"No, no word on his arrival…but the strangest thing happened…I found Nightcrawler lying out in the back unconscious with tire tracks all over him," Storm said, holding the still-dazed Nightcrawler in her arms.
Professor Xavier raises an eyebrow. "Tire tracks…?"
SLAM!
The back doors burst wide open. Everyone turns and stares as Wolverine walks into the lobby, yawning before heading upstairs to bed, not even noticing the decorations or the gathering of people in the lobby for that matter.
Everyone looks at each other not knowing what to say next. Professor Xavier eventually broke the silence.
"Well then…that was interesting…well, I guess we all can just turn in for the night. Be sure to be up early. The party starts a 11:00 a.m.," Professor Xavier said. The others shrugged and headed to bed.
End of Part 1
Please review! An extended ending will follow in the next chapter. Stay tuned!