- By: Jamey Rogers

I was under water. I couldn't breathe. I tried to swim to the surface but my leg was stuck in mushy slimy mud. I try to look around but its pitch black, I can't even see myself. I try to pull my leg out of the mud but it's no use. I'm stuck. I try and remember how I got here or even who I am, but my mind is blank. The only thing I know is that I'm here, at the bottom of an ocean and I can't get out. I'm slowly running out of air. I pull and pull and pull, but it's no use. I crouch down to the ocean floor and try to dig my leg out. It's no use. I slowly realize that I'm probably going to die down here. Why does it matter though, I already have no idea who I am. But I still if there's someone out there looking for me, missing me. I once again try to pull my leg out, I pull and pull. On the last pull my leg releases and in an instance I'm swimming to the surface. I'm almost there. I swim, and swim. When I see the surface I'm relieved. Maybe I'm not going to die after all, was my last thought before everything went black.

I open my eyes to see a white room. 'I'm not dead?' I think. I sit up and immediately regret it. A flash of pain whips through my lungs and back, like getting struck by lightning. I wince and sit back. I look around the room I'm in. It's a plain white room with a bed and a bathroom. I look at myself, I have a hospital gown on and I have an iv stuck in my arm. 'A hospital?' I think. I have so many questions, just as I'm about sit up again the small white door right across from my bed opens. In walks an elderly nurse in around her late 50's. She has blue nurse outfit on and her gray hair in a bun. She wheels a cart with what looks to be food on it. She smiles brightly at me and puts the cart on the right on side of my bed. "You're awake." She says. It's not a question; it's more like an observation. "I was wondering when you would. It has been a whole year." She says pushing a button on my bed. My bed slowly moves forward until I'm in a sitting position. I open my mouth to say something but she shushes me. "Not now, I'll go tell the door doctor you're awake. While I'm gone try and eat something will you." She tells me. I'm about to respond but she turns around and walks out of the room. I take her word for it and reach down and pick up the small green rectangular tray. On it is a bowl of vegetable soup and a couple small crackers. I pick up the spoon and slowly take small sips of the soup. I hear a knock at the door and I look up to see the doctor coming in. "I know you're very confused right now. But I will try my best to answer your questions if you try your best to answer mine." He says. I nod and he begins. "What's your name?" I shake my head looking down.

"I don't know." I whisper. I look up the doctor; he has a white long coat and short black hair. He doesn't look any older than 30.

"It's ok, do you remember anything?" He asks. I rack my brain, 'What was the last thing I remembered?', 'How did I get here?' The room's silent while the doctor let's me think. Then I remember something, it's not who I am, not how I got here, not even something big.

"The lake. I was drowning, my foot was stuck. I couldn't breathe. Then everything went black." I say. The doctor nods.

"Someone found you floating in the ocean, when they brought you here we thought for sure you wouldn't make it. You were in a coma for a year, but here we are. You have amnesia. We will try our best to help you any way we can, but with head injuries you never know." The doctor slowly explains how I was hit over the head with something and that's why I can't remember anything. He says that they almost lost me a couple time, but they managed to save me.

"We still don't know who you are. Maybe in time to come you'll remember. I'm doctor Rados. Damen Rados. Call me Damen." He says.

Over the next couple weeks Damen and I become very close friends. He tells me that I'm around 27, 5.8, and quite fit. I go to a therapist every week and every so often Damen invites me to his house for supper. I've learned a lot about Damen. He's 31 and has been married for 5 years. He has a two year old son named Alex. His wife Amanda is quite the cook. I still stay at the hospital though. I still can't remember anything.

"Are you listening? I was just saying how my son Mark and his friend Spencer are coming home for thanksgiving. Do you have any plans for thanksgiving?" My therapists tells me. I'm not listening to her, for three weeks I've gone to her and I always stare at her desk. On her black desk there are all her pictures of friends and family. 'I wish I could remember.' Mary sighs.

"You will remember, I promise." She says and keeps on going on about Mark and Spencer. You see Mary is a woman in her 50ˈs. She's a short woman with short gray hair and she never stops talking. It's quite annoying. I never really listen to her, but today is different. Something about the name Spencer rings a bell. I keep on trying to register what it is about Spencer. Then I realize the most exciting thing ever since I woke up in that stupid hospital bed in not remembering a thing. ˝Spencer.˝ I whisper.

˝What? ˝ Mary asks. ˝Spencer.˝ I say this time louder. Mary stills doesn't understand. I speak up louder this time.

˝My name is Spencer.˝ I say. I can't believe I remember my name. I'm grinning from ear to ear. 'I remember something' I think. It may be something as little as a name but it's something. "I'm proud of you."Mary tells me, "It's only a name but I'm very proud." She's says and I believe her.

For the longest time it goes on like that but about one year later I decide to go to school and get a job. I settle down and live a life of not remembering my past. That is until one day's years later when I'm forced to remember.

10 years later

I was sitting quietly in my apartment thinking of the day's events. The police had found two of my student's bodies and they looked like they had been murdered. I had become a professor 5 years ago at Harvard teaching the highest level mathematiques. I can't even imagine who would murder someone. They were sending in the BAU from Quantico, Virginia and I couldn't help but feel like that name meant something to me. But as usual I can't remember a thing.

The next day I head to my classroom as usual and prepare for the days lesson. I have come to love my job over the last five years of teaching. Each year there's a new vibe to my students and I try making my class enjoyable. As I wait for the last few students to arrive I think about my past. Only 10 years ago did I wake up and not remember a thing. The only thing I remember is my name. Little things over the years felt familiar and I quickly learned. "Professor, are you alright?" One of my top students, Melissa, asks. "Yes I'm fine thanks. Now today we will learn..." The day went on like that until two people walked into my class room. One, a woman, tall with long blonde hair and a man black with a lot of muscle. There was something about the two that was so familiar. I couldn't quite wrap my head around. I'm brought out of my thoughts by the woman saying something, "Hello, I'm SSA Jenifer Jareau and this is SSA Derek Morgan. We're with the FBI. May we ask you a couple of questions?" She asks. I nod and tell my students to keep working while I talk with the agents. Jenifer and Derek start walk closer to me when they both stop and stare at me. Derek's eyes go wide and Jenifer goes pale. "Are you guys ok?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows trying to understand why they looked so familiar. Derek shakes his, "Yes we're fine. You just look like something we knew a long time ago." He explains and I nod in understanding. Jenifer looks at me not saying anything. "Ok, now your name is?" Agent Morgan asks. "Uh Spencer." I say. They look at me again in disbelief. I look at them too. "Why do you look so familiar?" I whisper. "What?" Agent Jareau asks. "Oh nothing." I say quickly. "OK how long have you worked here?" Derek asks. "About five years." I reply and they ask me questions about me, my students and a whole bunch of other things. They leave shortly after and I'm left still wondering about them.

That night I go home and I'm greeted with a friendly face, Amelia, my fiancé and the mother of my unborn child. "Hey," she greets me with a kiss, "how was work?" I sigh, "The FBI came in to question people. They looked really familiar Lia." I say. "Like breaking through amnesia familiar?" She asks me. My fiancé was really beautiful. She was tall with long brown hair and brown eyes. Her smile lights up a room every time she enters it. I nod, "Lia I felt like I knew them. They thought I was someone they knew. Could it be possible that I was in the FBI?" I ask. "It's more than possible Spence. They'll probably be at the school again tomorrow right? Talk to them, figure it out. If anyone can figure it out Spencer, It's you." Amelia tells me. I believe her, I can figure this out and I will figure this out. "You know Lia, you're going to be an amazing mother." I tell my fiancé. "You'll be an amazing father." She replies and I nod. Even if I don't figure it out, I still have my future wife and my unborn child. They're my family. Ever since I met Amelia she's been my family. Even as I think that I still know deep down that I want to know who I was all those years ago, no matter what.

Amelia was right, as soon as I pull into the parking of the school I spot the FBI agents I met yesterday and four other very familiar looking agents as well. As I head to the front doors of the school Jenifer runs over to meet me. "Spencer, I don't know if you heard but we found another body. James Waters, he was in your class just the others." She tells me. I shake my head, "No I had no Idea." I exclaim. "Your class is the only thing that the victims have in common." Jenifer says. "You think I did this?" I say in disbelief, "I didn't. I would never. I have a family, a fiancé and a baby on the way. What you're saying is crazy." I tell the agent. "I never said that you did it Spencer. We just have to think of the possibilities." She says. "I get that it's just. When I look at and the rest of your team you look so familiar and I can't understand why. You ten years ago I woke up in a hospital with no memory of who I was or where I was. IN ten years the only thing I remembered is My first name, Spencer. Throughout the years I hoped I'd remember at least another small thing. I never did, but when I saw you and Derek you guys looked so familiar." I say. "This might sound crazy but, ten years ago a agent on our team died. At least we think, he dround, we never found his body. His name was Spencer and he looked exactly like you." Jenifer says. "I had a girl on my team, Penelope Garcia, look into it. I think my teammate; my friend who I thought did is you. I think you're Spencer Reid." She finishes. I don't know what to say, it makes sense, it really does. "Wow I don't know what to say." I reply. As soon as I say that my head starts to feel as though someone is smashing a hammer onto it. My vision becomes blurry and I can't hear. I close my eyes expecting to see black like you always do when you close your eyes. Instead I see images of myself and Jenifer, no JJ. Morgan, Prentiss, Hotch, Rossi, Gideon, Garcia, Blake, my mother. My whole life flashes through my head, becoming a FBI agent, playing baseball and hitting a homerun. In just an instant my head stops hammering and I open my eyes. I see JJ standing in front of me. "Are you ok Spencer?" She asks. I nod, I'm more than ok, I remember everything. I no longer have amnesia. I laugh and quickly decide not to tell her just yet. Not I'm going to later on. When they catch the unsub. I nod, "Yah I'm fine. My head just started pounding for a second there." I reply, "Tell me when you catch the killer. Whoever did this is sick minded and definitely not me." I say. "Ok will do, have a nice day." JJ says and walks back to Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, Callahan and Prentiss? She must have come back to the BAU.

I tell Amelia that night, she's thrilled. She tells me every day to tell them but I still haven't. Five days after my talk with JJ they finally catch the unsub, it turns out it was the Janitor who's room is right next to my classroom. The team is scheduled to leave in two hours. This is it, I think as I head to the police station. I haven't yet decided how to tell my family that I remember or even that I have a fiancé and a child who is due in just a month.

I walk into the police station and the first person I see is Prentiss. I walk up to her and say, "When did you come back to the BAU Emily?" That was a stupid thing to say I realize after I said it. Oh well. She looks at me really confused, "How?" She asks. "Well..." I start and explain to her how I remembered. When I'm done she slaps me in the face. "What was that for?" I ask. "You just told me that you've remembered for five days! With that big brain of yours you should of known that Reid." She says. I roll my eyes, "Whatever." I say. "I'm glad you're back, do have a family?" She asks. I laugh, "Yes actually, I have a fiancé named Amelia and a child due in a month." I tell her. "Wow! Reid that's awesome!" She says and hugs me, I hug her back. We talk for about another ten minutes when the rest of the team comes. "What are you doing here Spencer?" JJ asks. "Well I came to ask Prentiss when she came back to the BAU, but she never answered me." I say sarcastically. She looks at me with wide eyes, "Why?" she asks. "Do I really have to explain again? Five days ago when I was talking to you I got a headache. Remember?" I say and she nods along with the rest of the team. "Well what was really happening was that I was regaining my memories. My whole life flashed like a film through my head, graduating high school at the age of 12, joining the BAU, everything. Before any of you yell at me for not saying anything, I didn't know how to ok. I was so close to, but I wanted it to be the right time. Every day I didn't tell you guys Amelia yelled at me like crazy." I tell them. "Wait who is Amelia?" Morgan asks. I chuckle a little only Morgan would say that of all things after everything I have said. "Amelia is my fiancée; she's also carrying my child. My little girl is due in a month." I say to Morgan, to say the least he looks shell shocked just like everyone else. After everyone gets over their shock Morgan speaks up, "Reid my man! I'm proud of you, but if you ever do anything like that again I'll kill you for real." He walks up to me and gives me a manly hug. "Will do." The others come up and hug me too, First Kate, then Rossi, Hotch, JJ and then Prentiss. "You better not leave again Spencer Reid." JJ says. I laugh, "I'm never going to leave again." I say and I'm completely honest. I don't know how the rest of my life will play out but, I do know one thing for sure and the team is my family, not by blood but by choice, by friendship and everything in-between.

*Five years later*

"Are you ok?" My beautiful wife asks. I nod smiling at her. It's been five years since I've regained my memories. In those five years I've gotten married to the love of my life and I have a beautiful daughter Alicia. Today is my first day back at the BAU. When I first remembered I didn't know what to do. I stayed teaching and kept in touch with the team, but it wasn't the same. Knowing and not seeing their faces every day. When Amelia was offered a job two years later in Quantico, I knew what I was going to do. Six months later we moved in a house close to Jj's to her happiness. I didn't know if Strauss or even Hotch would let me back so I kept my mouth shut for two years teaching at a university close by and going to a BBQ every month. Until one day at Jj's while we were having our monthly greeting Will asked me why I haven't gone back to the BAU. I didn't know how to answer, the truth was, I was scared they wouldn't want me back. I couldn't exactly tell them that... I stayed silent for a few seconds when everybody agreed with Will. They told me I should come back; even Hotch told me they could use me since Kate left. The next day he talked to Strauss and she said yes but I would need to get it approved by the board, let me just say, it took six months. Now here I am going back to the BAU for the first time in 15 years. The last time I even stepped foot in it was before I met Amelia, before I had Alicia, before I had amnesia and before my accident. To say the least I am very nervous. I kiss my girls goodbye and head out the door.

In a half hour I'm at the door of the BAU ready to step inside. I make my to the floor I am all too familiar with, before I push open the door I hesitate. 'Is this really what I want? What they want?' I ask myself. I shake my head, 'Of course I want this, and of course they want this. They wouldn't have asked if they didn't want me back.ˈ I open the door and step inside. It looks exactly the same and it smells the same. I smile and head to Strauss office. "Ah, Dr. Reid, I'm glad you're back. Don't make me regret my decision." She says. "I won't." I say and she nods and tells me to follow. We walk to the conference room and the rest of the team is already there. "Let me introduce Dr. Reid." Strauss says. Morgan slaps me on the back and Emily and Jj hug me. This was definitely the right decision. I have Amelia and now Alicia, but even better I now get to see my family every day. I smile. My life has been more than complicated, but I finally found the people I love. They're right in this room with me and at home waiting for me.