7 MONTHS IN THE WORLD:
" Today that noisy woman who calls herself my Mom tried getting me to say 'Mama.'
I lauged at Mom and said," Da da."
She kept trying but I held strong and didn't give in. Admitting defeat Mom left me alone and walked out of my room, confining me to my crib. More like a jail cell. The fluffy creatures with happy faces began to circle in the air above me, playing their musical spell to make me fall asleep. I will not give in like everyone else! That woman will not control me! "
12 MONTHS OLD:
" Today was the most frightening day I've ever experienced. Mom bought me a poofy dress to wear, which made it difficult to walk in and was itchy. I cried, demanding her to take it off at once, but she laughed and took pictures. " Happy Birthday, Bulla. You look so cute." I stopped crying and glared at her. Sometimes I wish I could say words other than 'Da da' and 'Ba ba' and 'Hi.'
That kid Mom calls my brother, left his strange device on the floor.
Finally! I walked quickly and picked it up. I'd seen Brother hold it up to his ear so I decided to do the same. Nothing happened. I laughed. Stupid Brother, I knew this device was meant to be chewed on. It didn't taste good, and it was cold, but I didn't mind. It felt good to my four teeth.
"911 what's your emergency?" A voice asked.
Who said that?I looked around the room. I could hear mom in the kitchen but that wasn't her. Nobody was on the couches nearby either.
"Please stay on the line. I'm sending help right away."
I squealed. It's the device making all the noise! I remembered seeing Brother use his fingers to push the buttons so I decided to do the same. Every button I pushed beeped loudly. I laughed to myself. This is fun!
"Bulla! No!"
I froze. I know what 'No' means.
Brother snatched the device out of my hands. I gurgled, trying to say: I was playing with that!
"Ugh, you drooled on my cell phone!" He wiped it on his shirt.
I reached up at him. Give it back!
Dad frowns all the time, only when we're alone does he smile and make faces for me. Brother always frowns at me. I stared up at him, expecting him to smile like Dad would, but he doesn't. He says the most hurtufl word," NO! Don't ever touch this agian!"
I instantly screamed.
Mom stormed into the room," What did you do to her!" She picks me up and scans me for any wounds. I point at Brother, hoping she'll understand I want the toy in his hands.
"I didn't do anything! I just took my phone away from her."
I didn't hear the knock on the door. I only screamed louder when Mom walked away from Brother to answer it. I stopped crying when the strangely dressed people ran into the room, pointing oddly shaped toys at Mom and Brother. Brother raised his hands in the air in response.
One of the men in the wierd costumes took me out of Mom's arms. She too was forced to raise her hands in the air. I laughed when the strangers in costumes made Mom and Brother lie on the ground while they searched the house for something. I gibbered madly, while pointing at the phone lying next to Brother.
I want that! Make him give it to me! I knew they had the power to make it happen, but after laughing and returning me to Mom's arms...nothing was resolved.
If Dad was there he would've given it to me. He always does what I want.
.
.
After my nap Mom put me in a special chair. I liked that it stood high in the air. I looked over the side and smiled. I was one of the tall people, not taller than Brother and Mom, but close enough.
Familiar faces stood smiling and staring at me. I wasn't sure if I should cry or smile at all the attention, I became more unsure when they began to sing a song. When I decided to make up my mind to cry, they parted, letting Dad walk through with a cake which had a stick sticking out with a bright, dancing light on top of it.
Dad set the cake in front of me, my special chair has it's own table surface. I reached out to touch the candle, but the boy next to me blew it out. I turned to him, why did he do that? The boy looked back at me with his big, innocent dark eyes. I love his eyes, they're so dark I can get lost in them.
"Sorry Bulla. You can't touch the candle, it would hurt." The boy said.
I smiled at him. This is Brother's friend with the strange name I can't remember. He's a lot nicer than Brother. I reached out and grabbed a handful of the cake. The 'candle' was pretty but I doubt it would've been fun to play with if it'd hurt. I trust Brother's Friend. He's kind of my friend too. When he comes over he always makes time to play with me before he goes. Unlike Brother who never plays with me.
Brother's Friend's dad, who looks exactly like him, whined." Aw. She's eating all the cake."
Brother's Friend's brother replied." That's her cake Dad. Bulma's mother is cutting the cake over there, see?"
I was greatful when everyone stopped watching me to eat their own slice of cake at the long table for tall people. Actually, I was greatful Mom left to eat her own cake, I didn't care if everyone else watched me eat cake since Mom was the only one blinding me with her camera! What's so fascinating about me eating cake? She has often told me that's she's called a genius, mainly because she makes cool toys. But I don't think so. She gets excited over the dumbest things sometimes.
The fun part of my ' Birthday' was when Mom set me down in front of a bunch of shiny boxes. I sighed when Mom began to blind me again with her camera. I reached out to grab at one of the boxes, it was so shiny I couldn't resist. The shiny exterior of the box ripped, exposing the nose of a toy. I stopped, understanding that I had to rip the shiny exterior of the box in order to produce a toy! And they are all mine!
"Do you need help?" Mom asked, crouching beside me to rip away the shiny exterior from the box. I gurgled and slapped her hand away, they're my 'presents' Mom!
She got the hint and left me to tear away at the boxes on my own. The gifts were nice but I loved unwrapping them the most. I only made it through half of my presents before I laid down and fell asleep. I tried fighting it. I knew Mom would be all over my presents if I fell asleep. I tried to talk, I tried to say," Keep Mom away from the boxes! I will unwrap them later." But all that came out was unintelligble noises. 'Baby Talk,' Mom calls it.
I fell asleep. Mom unwrapped my presents. Eh. At least I can play with the toys later.
.
.
I usually sleep through the night, but for some reason tonight was different. My room was dark except for the floating stars lighting up my room. I sat up in my crib and realised I wasn't alone. Brother was standing next to the crib, watching me sleep.
Did you have a bad dream? If you cry Mom or Dad will comfort you. Brother's face looked troubled. I smiled, knowing exactly what to do. I grabbed my pink teddy bear and stood up. I held the bear out for him to take. Here. Her name is Pinky, she's always there when I can't sleep. She's my favorite but you can borrow her. Brother just stood, frowning. I stretched as far as I could. Here. Take her.
Pinky became to heavy for me to hold, and she fell to the floor. I peeked through the bars of my crib, Come back here! Brother needs you.
I lifted my head and slapped the bars, hoping brother will pick her up.
With his voice low and hard, Brother spoke." I hate you. I wish you were never born."-I fall to my butt. I thought everyone loved me.-"Why wasn't I enough?"
Brother begins to cry. I try to speak, I want to tell him it's okay. He's wrong, Mom and Dad love him more. They let him play with toys off limits to me. But that's too complicated for me to say, to express. I know I can say one word, so I do.
"Bruh ter." It's the closest I can get to Brother. I smile when he stops crying. He wipes the tears from his eyes, but nothing has changed.
"I'm not your brother." He snarls, picking Pinky up from the floor. I watch uncertainly as Brother walks to the window and opens it. I reach out. No! Don't! Brother holds Pinky out the window. He looks back at me, then let's go.
I shutter, then scream. Why Brother? Why did you kill Pinky?
He shuts the window and runs out of the room.
I stop screaming. I know I just need to scream a little longer for Mom to come, but I don't. I lay back down and watch the floating stars circle around the room. Brother is just mad at me for chewing on his toy earlier. He'll forgive me tomorrow. Maybe Pinky will still be in my crib in the morning. Mom says everyone loves me. Tomorrow, everything will be better. Brother will feel bad and treat me special, he might even play with me.
Brother loves me. Right?