I don't own any Grey's anatomy Characters! Just wanted to say that! :) Sorry about the story being temporarily deleted. My computers been acting all wacky. :/ Oh and I'm sorry if I dont get any medical details right, Im not a doctor. And also, I don't exactly know what cutting feels like or anything, so details could be inaccurate. Thanks for your paitence if I'm taking too long to write the chapters!
Prologue – Run
"Leave me alone Derek! It's none of your damn business!" I angrily said as I yanked my wrist out of his grasp. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! I mentally reprimanded myself for not re-bandaging my arm as I ran away. I leave him there, shocked, worried, and from what I could tell, disappointed.
Chapter One- Cut Away the Pain
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
I watch, as the blood streaming down my wrist falls on the floor of the bleached bathroom tile.
"Meredith!" We're going to be late!" Izzie yells through the door. "What are you doing in there anyway? We have to go!" I listen as she walks away, and thumps down the stairs.
I sigh; my moment of true peace was over, the comfort in scarring my body, like my emotions, was gone. I pick myself up off the floor, and go to the cupboard to bandage the straight lines of red on my wrist. As I wrap the white gauze, I muse over how everyone would react if they knew how I "mutilate" myself every day. I think Cristina is starting to notice though, how I constantly wear long sleeves, and how I winced yesterday when Izzie grabbed my wrist to show me something cool in the pit. Oh well… she probably will think that it contributes to my dark and twisty side. But most likely she'll be pissed at McBastard for making me feel like this. Ha. It's his entire fault anyway. When I'm done, I try to act normal as I run down the stairs to meet Izzie and George.
"Mer, are you okay? What's wrong with your arm?" Christina questioned. Dammit. I cuss myself out as I yank my sleeve back down. In a moment of unawareness, I accidentally pushed my sleeves up to work on charts. Seeing the bandage made her concerned. "Nothing Christina, I'm fine. Really." I hate lying to her, but she might make me go to the ER to get stitches. Or worse, tell Bailey. Christina eyed me suspiciously. Then suddenly she grabbed my upper arm and dragged me into a supply closet. I watched sadly as she yanked up my sleeve and unwrapped the bandage. She stared at the fine slits that traveled up to my elbow. She was quiet for awhile. I slowly pulled my arm back and started rewrapping my arm. "How long?" She asked. "Since Satan came." I replied calmly. When I finished, I looked up, and was shocked to see rage in her eyes. I hoped nervously that she wasn't angry at me. "Does…does it make…you…feel better?" She forced through gritted teeth. I smile faintly and nod. She stared some more. "It gives me peace, knowing that I'm as messed up on the outside as I am on the inside." Silently, she pulled me into a gripping hug. "I understand," she whispered, "but there is no way in hell that I'm going to be nice to him from now on." I pull back, nod, and pat her on the shoulder before I leave the closet.
"Grey! Yang! Where the hell have you been? I paged you ten minutes ago!" Bailey yelled at them. "Sorry Dr. Bailey, Christina and I were having a talk" I calmly told her. That just made Bailey squint. "Well when you two are done being the banes of the gossip mill, I need you all to help on a high profile case." We all looked at each other excitedly, except for Christina who just stared at me, with a semi-pissed off expression. Bailey noticed. "Grey, is there something you want to share?" Izzie, Alex, and George looked at me expectantly. I stared blankly at all of them. "Nope. Totally fine." Fuck. That usually means that I'm not fine. "I mean Ok! I'm totally okay!" I gave them a fake smile. I could tell they didn't believe it. "Hmph. Well Grey and Yang go see the Shepards, O'Malley go to Burke, and Stevens and Karev follow me." Ugh. Why did I get assigned to them, the cause of my despair? I silently cursed at the universe for giving me a shitty day. Even worse, I'll have to deal with Christina's judgment.
"Grey, Yang, glad you could join us." The She-Sheppard greeted us. McAss just gave me a sad but almost glad-to-see-me look. I gave him a blank stare back. Christina glared, and Satan updated us on the case. When she was done, she just sighed at the death glare Christina was giving him, and walked away. "I'll page you two when we need something." She called over her shoulder. "Meredith…" He started, "Dr. Grey to you." I coldly corrected him. He sighed and started again. " Dr. Grey, we need to talk." Suddenly Christina stepped in front of him. "No. You. Don't. Asshole." She gave him the I-will-stab-you-with-a-scalpel-if-you-come-any-closer-look. "Excuse me Dr. Yang! But that's up to Dr. Grey!" He angrily retorted. " I gave him a look. "Leave me alone." and walked quickly to the elevator. Thank god it was empty. I pressed the emergency stop button, sank to the floor, and fought tears. Then I remembered the box cutter in my pocket. I take it out and start to ease my pain.