Title: Replace Me
Author: y0ungalaska
Pairing: Rachel Berry & Quinn Fabray
Rating: T
Summary: One day. One day changed everything. But seven years later, can it all be saved? (Oh dear, I suck at summaries)
A/N: So in honor of all of the FABERRY, I am posting all of my fics. I'm working crazy hours, but I promise to try to update as much as I can. Also, after this, it jumps in time. Consider this a prologue. All characters belong to RIB, I just... like to play with them from time to time ;) (P.S. All mistakes are my own.)
Replace Me
May 26th, 2012 - The Day Before Graduation: Prologue
Rachel Berry had always been known as the girl who would ultimately become a big star. And even though half of the school disliked her for one reason or another and the other barely even acknowledged her, the one person, the one constant had always been Quinn Fabray.
The two had carried on this love/hate relationship through their entire high school career, but no matter what, when Quinn was in trouble or needed someone, Rachel would always be there. Even if the blonde wouldn't admit it to herself, Rachel always reached out to try and help in any way that she could.
It was no secret that the brunette wished that she could call the blonde her friend. She'd always thought that, even though the two were on opposite ends of the totem poll when it came to high school, they were so very much alike. She knew what it was like to be ridiculed, knew what it was like to have people expect things of you. She knew what it meant to have to carry on a reputation and live up to it. After all, she was the bright and shining star of McKinley High. Quinn had gone from H.B.I.C, to the pregnant girl, back to H.B.I.C, to the school delinquent and through it all, Rachel had always understood her. Always.
And when she'd realize that Quinn was in need of anything, a friend, a shoulder to lean on, she would present herself to the blonde and, for a moment, they would raise the white flags and exist on the same level. It saddened her to see the blonde going through so much and being the head cheerleader and literally the most popular girl in school, it hurt her even more to know that the title meant nothing. No one, no matter how much they swore to care for her well-being, was ever there.
It was always Rachel.
Somewhere between the arguments over Finn Hudson, the constant slaps to the face and the never-ending insults, Rachel found herself falling for Quinn Fabray.
The moment she'd realized it had been one of the scariest times in her life, but true to Rachel Berry form, she threw on a show face and played the part. She would fight for Finn constantly and be there for Quinn when the world seemingly turned their back on her. The fighting over Finn became nothing but another way for Rachel to get the blonde to notice her and, for a while, it worked. She knew that outright asking for the blonde's friendship would ultimately get her shot down, so she took what she could get. Over and over again, always being there for Quinn, always caring and always trying to make her see the error of her ways. And maybe even see the girl standing before her.
But that moment never came.
And so here she stood, the day before graduation, talking herself up in the girls bathroom. It could quite possibly be the last time she'd ever see the blonde and the idea scared her. A life with out Quinn was something that the brunette didn't want to think about and even more so, she didn't want to experience it. So on this day, Rachel Berry was going to throw caution to the wind. She was going to walk up to the blonde, look into those hazel eyes that spoke volumes if anyone actually paid any attention, and she was going to bare her soul.
Hearing the final bell, Rachel looked at herself in the mirror, calmed her breathing, and pushed herself to walk into the halls. She knew, without a doubt, that the one place she could find the blonde would be at her locker. The fleeting thought of it being the last time caused the smile on her face to drop, but only until she stood at the end of the hallway and laid eyes on the blonde.
Quinn stood, true to form, in a white and yellow sundress. Somehow, the sunlight that bounced off the lockers, hit her in the most perfect of ways. Sun-kissed skin shone before her, bringing her smile back times ten and she stood there, watching the girl, hoping with everything in her that Quinn would reciprocate her feelings. Things had been going quite well for the two of them. Of course, it was nowhere near perfect, but at least they were on common ground.
Straightening herself and pulling her books closer to her body, Rachel strolled over to her locker and began mindlessly filling her bag with things that had no matter. Even if they did, the brunette didn't acknowledge it. Her mind was set on her task.
Closing her locker, she turned around and tracked the three steps it took to get to the girl she'd felt like she'd loved forever. Clearing her throat to get Quinn's attention she spoke, "Quinn, may I have a word with you?"
"Sure, Rach." The blonde closed her locker and hoisted her shoulder bag. "What's up?"
"I, um," Rachel berated herself. This was not the time to get cold feet. "well, it's the last day of our entire high school career and I was thinking..."
A perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised, asking her to continue. 'Your words, Rachel. Use your words.'
"I know that we've had what some would like to call a love/hate relationship, you and I. And I know that, through everything, we've pretty much come out okay, don't you think?" Pose a question. That was the perfect idea right now. Otherwise known as the infinite stall.
"Okay..." Quinn answered a bit confused. "I suppose we're good."
"Right. And since we've been on the up and up, so to speak, don't you think, with it being the end of our high school days that we … I mean, that maybe we could, possibly, be more than you know...what we are?"
Quinn watched as those brown eyes caught hers and for a moment, she tried not to lose herself. At the last moment, she pulled herself back and cleared her throat as she watched students passing by, some rejoicing over the end of the school year, others openly gawking at the two of them with no shame. "Where...um, where are you going with this?"
As much as she wanted to just blurt it out, Rachel couldn't find the words. Rachel Berry. Couldn't. Find. The. Words.
"We're friends right, Quinn?" Another question. Another stall.
"Yes..." the blonde let the answer drag out and Rachel could see the wheels turning in her hazel eyes. She was completely clueless and Rachel was obviously not doing a good job or Quinn would have seen right through her. She always had.
"And friends can tell one another anything, correct?" Rachel prodded on, hoping that the line of questioning would lead to Quinn understanding the route she was going. Please make her understand.
Quinn squinted her eyes and tilted her head. Yes, Quinn. Please understand this.
"Yes, but I have no idea where you're going with this."
The brunette sighed. Obviously there was no other way to do this than to tell her, flat out, what she was trying to say, what she'd been trying to get Quinn to see for the past year.
"Quinn, there are some...things that I've been meaning to talk to you about and I know that this is the last day of school and there's a chance that we may never even see one another again, but I cannot leave Lima without saying what I have to say." The hallways had emptied, she had no idea how long they'd been standing in that spot, but it didn't matter. Timidly, Rachel reached forward, taking one of Quinn's delicate hands into her own. Looking into those hazel eyes, she waited for a recoil, but it never came. "We've been through so much, Quinn. We've fought over Finn, we've argued, you've slushied me, called me names, practically terrorized me, but all of it never really mattered when thought about in the grand scheme of things. This is...was high school and things like that happen. Reputations have to be upheld whether for the sake of one's sanity or just for the sake of being popular, but throughout all of that, something changed..."
Quinn listened intently to the brunette as she rambled in true Rachel Berry form. It was when the words 'something changed' were mumbled that she disconnected their hands and stepped away from Rachel. It was as though she'd been slapped in the face and as the realization hit her, she fought with herself. She fought with the conflicts between her head and her heart. Her head screaming to run but her heart begged her to stay, to listen and to reciprocate. She could have...
"No." Quinn muttered as she threw a hand up to stop the brunette. "No. You... we are not doing this. Not now. Not ever."
"Quinn, please, just … listen to me, will you?" Rachel's voice was quietly pleading with her, but Quinn couldn't listen. She wouldn't.
"No. I heard you loud and clear, Berry. No." The use of her last name hit the shorter girl like a freight train. Quinn hadn't called her that for almost five months and it stung. Horribly. "Whatever it is that you're thinking or … or feeling, it can't happen. More importantly, it won't happen. So just... stop. Don't even thinking about saying anything else."
"Quinn," the way the brunette whispered her name almost made her crumble. Almost.
"You can't just... you're not even gay, Berry. And for the record, just in case you've forgotten, neither am I. You... you love Finn."
"No, I don't." Rachel, finally finding her voice, stepped in closer only to watch the blonde step away from her again. "I don't love Finn and you know that."
"Don't tell me what I know." Quinn bit back. She needed to make her leave. She needed, for the sake of anything they could possibly become, for Rachel to leave...to get out of Lima and never come back. "It's the end of the year, the end of our high school years. When I walk out that door, I will forget about everything and everyone and start fresh. I don't need this. I don't need..."
"You don't mean that!" Rachel's voice was slightly above a whisper but her voice was frantic.
"I mean it. I won't ever look back on this place and miss one single thing about it. So, you should take that and process it and realize that this," she pointed between the two of them, "this will never be anything more than it is. And after tomorrow, it won't exist."
The breath that Rachel tried to take in wasn't enough for her lungs, no matter how deeply she inhaled. Quinn had just shot her down, badly. She knew it was a possibility, but looking back on the past five months, she swore that what she'd seen, what she'd felt was not only real but mutual. Now, looking into those eyes, those beautiful and tortured hazel eyes, Rachel realized that she was wrong. Her heart broke into a million pieces. Losing at Nationals, every break up with Finn, none of it compared to this moment and before she knew it, the tears were falling. She looked at Quinn one more time, trying to understand, trying to grasp the moment, but it was gone. Pulling her bag closer to herself, she ducked her head and walked past the blonde.
It was truly over.