Trypanophobia
Bryan bit down hard on the nail of his thumb. He hated it when he saw people biting their nails, he thought it was a filthy habit but his nerves had now reduced him to doing something he hated the most. His leg began to shake a bit and he continued to distract himself by counting the number of people that walked past his window through the heavy snow.
There was a knock on the door. Thank goodness, someone to talk to. A better distraction. "Come in." he didn't care who it was, he just wanted someone to come in and distract him.
Vera showed up in the doorway. A petite honey-blonde haired girl with brown eyes that could penetrate the coldest soul. Alright so he should've been more specific and not wished for just anyone.
"Are you okay, Bryan?" she asked sweetly, stepping inside and closing the door behind herself. "You rushed up here pretty quickly. Did something bad happen at the hospital?"
Bryan huffed; he wasn't sure but he probably would've much rather have admitted his weakness to one of his teammates rather than to her. "No, things are okay."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes."
The blonde rolled her eyes, plopping her body down hurriedly onto the bed, sprawling herself across it so that she wasn't too far away from him, "I'm going to stop asking politely and just flat out tell you to enlighten me on what's wrong."
"I'm fine." Bryan insisted stubbornly. "You're fussing for no real reason as usual."
"It seems like I do have a reason though. You're biting your nails...You practically throw a fit every time you see me doing it and now you are; it's a nervous habit, what's the matter?"
None of her words were going to break him down this time. She had always managed to strangle the truth out of the three Russian males, and he had to admit, Bryan had always been the weakest to her begging and the concern-filled light brown eyes. He was determined to fight her off this time.
"Get off it Bryan; you can't handle everything by yourself. You're worried about something, what is it?"
Nope. He wasn't going to say anything. Not this time. This time he'd keep it to himself. She didn't need to know everything that went on with him, and he wasn't ready to open up to her anymore than he had in the past. It was irritating that some part of him wanted to say something, but another part of him didn't want to say a single thing so as to keep at least a small portion of his pride in tact.
Five quiet minutes past. Vera having turned to lie on her stomach and kick her feet behind herself as she watched the male with fake interest until he'd eventually get fed up of her. "Bryan," she mumbled, whining, "come on, just tell me, what's bothering you?" He was strong, and just as stubborn as Tala and Kai so he didn't make a sound and just continued to stare outside. It was quite irritating having to sit there in silence the whole time but she was more than just determined to get the answer out of him. He probably hadn't realized that she was just as, if not more, stubborn than the lot of them. "Bryaaan." She continued in a singsong voice, opting to bug the truth out of him.
He simply lost it, finally lashing out, "Would you stop being so irritating?!"
She didn't seem set back at all though. His outburst was so lesser in comparison to Kai's own so things like that no longer took her by surprise. Although, she had to admit that she hadn't quite expected that out of someone like Bryan. "I can't. Satisfy me with answers and I will reward you with silence." He was the one that was quiet now though, he was ignoring her again and this time for more than just his pride. "Bryan, you look like you're making yourself sick with worry. What's the matter?" she'd gone back to her kinder and gentler side, seeing as it was the one that Bryan co-operated with more.
"I need to go back to the doctor tomorrow." Bryan replied bluntly. He glanced over at her again, his eyes still cold, "Satisfied?"
"Not entirely." She replied honestly, sitting up and crossing her legs. "What's so bad in going to the doctors again tomorrow?"
"It's to get some shots."
Still she felt and understood nothing. "And?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.
His head connected hard with the window frame, releasing a shaky and restless breath, "I hate injections."
She smirked finally, resting her head on her arm, "Hate? Or scared of?" His death glare surpassed Kai's, which in fact startled her for just a second there. She scooted closer to him, moving to sit across from him on the same small windowsill. "Why are you so afraid to say that you're scared of injections? A lot of people are, it's nothing to be ashamed of at all."
He wasn't sure if he could believe her on that one. He didn't really think that there were people out there that had the same fear of injections as he did. He'd panic, he'd pass out, he'd throw up; he'd never had such a bad reaction to anything before. Needles, and injections most of all, just had that effect on him.
"Have you tried talking to a shrink or something?"
"No, and I don't plan to." Bryan replied bitterly.
"Why not?"
"Because I hate shrinks as much as…"
"As much as you're afraid of needles." Vera finished for him, smiling widely at the end. She placed a hand on his forearm, bringing his attention back to her, "It's just a shot though…"
Bryan interrupted and corrected her hurriedly, "Two shots."
"Two shots then. It's just two shots, you can get through them. All you need to do is relax, don't look at it and it'll be done quickly."
"You make it sound so damn simple when it isn't."
She smiled sympathetically and took his hand, her fingers brushing light lines in a circle on the back of his hand, "Sorry; maybe it's more of a phobia so it really isn't as simple as I make it sound." She smiled further while his attention was completely set on the touch, "Relax, just sit back and focus on something else like you're breathing or…I don't know, stare at something else in the room. Think about it this way; it won't last long and the second it's done you can leave."
"I know." Bryan murmured. Maybe it bugged him most of all because she wasn't as scared of injections as he was. She was always understanding of him and any of his concerns but this one just seemed like he was over exaggerating. They were needles, injections, but they bothered him, they were the one thing that shook him to the core. He never fainted for anything unless it was exhaustion or after a beating. Needles however simply destroyed whatever tact he had.
"Have you told the doctor that you're afraid?" he shook his head hurriedly at the question, still not bothering to look at her. "Then why don't you? The doctor could do…a lot of things to make things better." She stopped to think for a moment, resting her temple against the cold glass, "Like…give you a sedative? Or…use the smallest needle, or at least do it some place where it'll hurt less." His jaw was tense, he was uncomfortable even admitting he had a problem so she was sure that he wouldn't tell the doctor anything about being scared. "Crying helps, you know? It relaxes you, makes your vision blurry too so even if you look at it then you won't be able to see anything." She didn't get any response again and she sighed with frustration, "Come on Bryan, you can't really handle this without telling someone."
Bryan huffed irritably, getting up and sitting down on the bed instead, "I told you. That's it."
Vera turned to face him, pressing her back lightly to the glass of the window, "And what is it you expect me to do with this information?"
"I don't know."
--That Night--
It grew closer to midnight and Bryan was still sitting up in bed, unable to sleep. He thought that the sooner he went to bed, the closer it got to the time he'd have to go to the doctors and get those dreaded shots done. Thus, he avoided his sleep as much as possible. Although, it wasn't all that difficult considering his nerves didn't allow him to sleep in any case.
A fist touched his bedroom door as it had done earlier in the day. This time it didn't give him the chance to reply before it slid open slowly and Vera peeked in. "Hey; didn't think you would've managed to sleep yet."
"You were right…" Bryan grumbled beneath his breath.
"Look," She began with a sigh, sitting at his feet on the bed, "I had an appointment for a flu shot three weeks from now; I found a doctor who could give it to me tomorrow instead. Mine is like half an hour before yours so we can go together and I can show you that it'll be okay." He seemed dumbfounded, unsure of what it was that he could say to show his…appreciation. "Well don't give me that look; you expected me to do something with the information so I did."
"Thanks."
"Well then," She got up and walked back over to the door, "Try to get some sleep." That sweet smile graced her features again, "Good night."
--Next Morning--
Bryan ran down the stairs, speeding through the hallway and to the kitchen. He figured he'd work his nervousness into a good hour of jogging or something before his appointment. "Where are you off to?" Vera asked urgently.
"Running."
"I know you don't like needles but running isn't the answer." She joked, pulling him away from the back door and over to the table. "Seriously though, exercise is bad at a time like this; warm muscles react badly to cold chemicals. You need to relax rather than work out."
"Am I not allowed to do anything?"
"You're allowed to drink tea." She quipped, picking up a cup and placing it in front of him, "I made you some; it's good for calming nerves, I thought it'd do you some good at a time like this." He continued to grumble over sips of tea, clearly not seeing how a cup of tea was supposed to help him. Watching from the island counter, she thought that he really must be scared of injections if he was letting it get to him this much. In the whole year she'd known him he was usually unshakable when it came to plenty of things. They'd watched some of the most gruesome movies together and still he wouldn't even flinch at it. He surely protected her, embraced her occasionally when they got too much but she always noticed that none of it affected him. On the other hand, he had always been sensitive to needles. She remembered visiting him in the hospital and he wouldn't even look at the ones in his arm. He had threatened to pull them right out once too, which confused her further on how she hadn't realized it sooner.
Possibly it was his entrenched demeanor that just made her feel like nothing could really upset him that much. He had a temper, so maybe that was why she had passed off that threat before.
"Still nervous?"
"What do you think?"
She shook her head, sighing and going back to cleaning the kitchen. She was suddenly so glad that she'd sent Kai and Tala out for the day. They'd ask too many questions.
For the next two hours Bryan walked around the house with nothing better to do than to await the day's end with anxiousness. They arrived at the clinic just in time for Vera's appointment. She made him stay outside, claiming he shouldn't go in so he won't look at the needle because it'd make him even more nervous.
Just as he was beginning to get even more nervous from just standing around a hallway Vera stepped back out holding the wool to her shoulder. She looked fine, no harm done so that soothed him just a little bit. "See," she took the wool off and showed him the pin prick, "nothing." She sighed and hooked her arm onto his, pulling him gently down the hall to his own doctor's office, "You acting as though you're going to die."
Bryan grumbled quietly, taking a deep breath, "Well…as long as I don't die with needles in my skin then dying sounds okay."
She held onto him tighter, tugging her sleeve down, "I'll be sure to fulfill that dying wish of yours when we come to it." She stopped the two of them in front of the door, turning to him to smile gently, "Don't worry, don't tense up and you'll be fine." He nodded and she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Relax." She squeezed his hand supportively and tilted her head to look at him properly, "I'll tell the doctor to give you a sedative if you think it'll help." There was just a bit of resistance in his eyes, he really didn't want to admit he needed the help.
Bryan sat around outside the doctors office while she went in to inform the doctor of his problem. He didn't know why he had even bothered to get a sedative, he was hoping this thing would be over with quickly so that he can just go home and say that it was all done and he wouldn't have to go through it again…for a long time, hopefully. When she got back to him she handed him a pill and a glass of water…how that thing was going to help him, he had no idea but he would take what he could get if it was assured it'd make him feel better. She practically pushed the boy into the room about ten minutes later, she sat beside him the whole time. He'd closed his eyes; there was no way he wanted to catch sight of a needle, otherwise he'd lose his nerve entirely and want to leave.
Distantly he could hear the doctor talking to him but he was completely unfocused by that time. He winced the second that something began pinching his left arm, "Oww." He bit down on his tongue, squeezing the hand that he was holding. And that was when it hit him. He was holding the hand with the same hand that was hurting him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to open his eyes to see what was going on but then there was that pinching pain and he considered keeping them closed for a little while longer. He heard the doctor mumbling "done" to him and he felt it was safe to open his eyes again.
His attention instantly went to the direction of that former pinching feeling and he was right in his suspicions. The injections had been done in his right arm but his left arm hurt a lot more than that.
"Sorry, that's going to bruise a bit." Vera apologized, laughing softly while bringing him to stand up.
She'd pinched him! That's what the pain was. She pinched him. She literally grabbed his skin and squeezed it so hard that blood vessels burst. On the Brightside, he didn't feel the needle, he didn't look at it and so all ended well. He was out of the room the second he was able to leave. Vera was laughing at his promptness to leave, still apologizing for bruising him.
The two were making their way down the street painfully slow. The blonde didn't want him to fall over or anything of the sort. That sedative had surely calmed him but she didn't want it to calm him too much. "Feeling better now that it's over?"
"A lot."
They sat in the park for a bit. It meant they were half way home. "I really am sorry that I hurt you."
Bryan smiled, closing his eyes and shaking his head, "No, it's fine, it actually helped." Looking back at her he noticed her getting a little closer, lightly her lips brushed against his, then against the corner of his mouth before she pulled away completely. It was a blink and you'd miss it kiss. And he almost had missed it due to his drowsiness. "Now I really don't trust doctors."
"Why?" She giggled.
"Because that pill is working now and not when you pinched me." His hand subconsciously went to rub the bruised forearm and all the two could do was laugh a little. Thankfully the worst of his day was over. No more needles. No more injections.
A/N: Another Phobia-centered oneshot like I promised. Not much to say on this one. Please leave some feedback, it's well-appreciated. Thanks for reading. Keep safe everyone.