EPISODE 9-1

Count Bleck and his minions were returning after a long day out. It was late evening, the time to sit back in front of the fire with a cozy drink and mentally prepare yourself for bed. There was a lot of excitement as they all came in the front entryway, barreling in like charging bulls. There would be a lot of winding down to do.

"I can't believe we don't go out to eat more often," Mimi was saying as they went in. Mimi was dressed in her best going-out-to-town outfit, with a long blue sundress and a fake pearl necklace, low heels and a floppy hat with a flower on the brim. She was carrying Félicie in a matching handbag. Félicie poked her head out and panted energetically.

"We should do more missions in culinary towns," added Dimentio. "The meal was absolutely delectable, a festival of flavor for my palate."

"Don't forget chasing down the giant Koopa Robot," Mr L. piped up. "I didn't think we'd ever catch him! Good thing Brobot was there. That was the coolest mission ever."

"Ah, even if we didn't 'ave that great metal warrior, I could o' handled it meself." O'Chunks thumped his chest. "'Ardly a challenge worthy o' me time."

"Yes, yes, it was a wonderful day," said Count Bleck absently. He stopped walking and spread his arms out low. The minions stopped behind him.

"What's up?" asked Mr. L.

"Something's wrong here," said Count Bleck.

He held up his staff and looked around. There was the usual end table for incoming and outgoing things, the coat rack for visitors as it always was… but did they leave all the hall doors open when they left that morning?

"Hey, Count, there's broken glass over here!" Mimi called from the sitting room doorway.

Count Bleck hurried into the sitting room and looked. There was a large, lacy window on the wall, like the tessellated honeycombs seen often in the background of Castle Bleck. The beautiful work of art had been smashed, and broken glass was scattered across the floor.

Count Bleck sagged.

"Somebody's broken in," he announced.

"WHAT?"

"Broken in?"

"A burgler?"

"Our castle?"

"What'd he take?"

"What happened?"

"OUR castle?"

"Let me see!"

"ENOUGH!" Count Bleck cried, holding his hands up. "Be quick. Let's first check and see if anything is missing. Now think… what is the most valuable thing we have?"

They all thought for a moment.

"The Dark Prognosticus!" Count Bleck thumped his hand in his fist. "I'll go see if it's safe." He turned and swiftly exited

"I shall check on my valuable coin collection," said Dimentio.

"You're a numismatist?" Mr. L said in surprise.

"I have hobbies," Dimentio replied. "You don't know everything about me." And with that he, too, left.

"My diary!" Mimi shrieked.

"Mimi, I don't think they broke into the castle to read your diary."

"Yeah, but what if they found it!" And she, too, ran out of the room.

"Nastasia!" O'Chunks exclaimed. "She didn't come out wit' the rest o' us! Argh, if the brute laid one finger on 'er, I'll flatten 'im like a…" he shook his fist menacingly, but trailed off.

"Pancake?" suggested Mr. L.

"Ah, I was hopin' for somethin' a little more…" he shrugged. "Aye, pancake. Flatten 'im like a pancake." And he, too, left.

"Well," said Mr. L. "I guess somebody's got to clean up the broken glass." So he fetched a broom and a dustpan and got started on that.

"Timpani!" Count Bleck threw the door open to their room. "Timpani, are you in here?"

Tippi was sitting on top of the bureau. "Of course I am," she said. "I told you I was staying in today. What's gotten into you?"

"Thank goodness you're all right," he said, sighing with relief. "It looks like somebody broke into the castle. In the sitting room. The window's smashed."

Tippi gasped. "Oh, my word! I didn't realize—I was in here the whole time! I wouldn't have known!"

"That's good to hear," said Count Bleck. "If you didn't know, I can assume nothing happened to you. I can also assume that no one was in here. But just to be sure…" He opened the bottom drawer of the bureau all the way, reached behind it and pulled up a false floor panel, where he was currently hiding the Dark Prognosticus. He often changed its hiding place, often for no reason at all. This time he claimed it was because K. Man Koopa knew where it was.

It was still there, wrapped in a pair of O'Chunk's stinky socks as a final security measure. He clutched the book to his chest. "The worlds are safe," he sighed. He wrapped it up and put it back. Then he picked up Tippi on his finger. "Whatever happened, I'm glad you're safe."

"Are you talking to me or the book?"

"Don't be silly, Timpani, books don't have ears."

She snickered.

"It's a big castle," said Count Bleck. "I'm not surprised you didn't hear him, and even more so I'm relieved. I don't want you to go through any more danger on my account."

"Your account?"

"It's my castle, after all."

"Of course."

They assembled in the meeting room, all seven of them. Each of them had taken a section of the castle to search, same as they did when the Count was missing. They'd also gone over their own rooms with a fine-toothed comb, perhaps more carefully than they did anywhere else.

"Report," said Count Bleck. "Tell Nastasia everything that's missing, and she'll file a report."

Nastsasia clicked her pen open and held up her clipboard.

"Nothin' to report o' mine," said O'Chunks. "I checked the whole area an' didn't see a thing out o' place."

"Me, neither," said Mr. L.

"My coin collection is missing," said Dimentio darkly.

"So's my diary!" Mimi wailed. She was on the verge of hysterics.

Count Bleck looked at her. "Mimi I doubt very highly that someone broke into our castle and stole your diary."

"You saw the broken glass!" she shrieked, hiccupping with tears.

"No," he said, annoyed. "I mean, I doubt that while they were broken in, they stole a diary. I doubt that the two things happened together, you see?" He crossed his first two fingers to demonstrate 'together.'

"WELL, IT'S GONE!"

"Did you check in your pillowcase?" asked Dimentio?

"Uh huh."

"Between the mattress and the box springs?"

"Uh huh."

"Top shelf of the closet?"

"(sniff) Uh-huh." She blew her nose on her sleeve.

"Dresser drawer, under the jewelry box?"

"Uh huh."

"On the desk, under your catalogues?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, I'm out of ideas," said Dimentio. "Oh, wait- behind the vanity?"

"I checked everywhere!" she screeched. "It's totally gone!"

"What about your rupees?" asked Count Bleck.

"Those too," said Mimi, dabbing her eyes. "My precious, precious rupees. I shoulda left 'em at Merlee's mansion."

"Don't you, like, work there?" asked Mr. L.

"Shh!" she put her finger to her lips. "Don't confuse them!"

"Confuse who?"

"Too late."

"Nastasia," said Count Bleck, who had stopped listening after Mimi had said 'those too.' "Do you have anything to report missing?"

"My gold-plated fountain pen," replied Nastasia.

"Ah yes, the graduation present. I'm terribly sorry about that."

"Thank you for your concern," she said. She continued writing.

Count Bleck turned to his minions. "Now, do you know what we're going to do about this?"

"Call Detective Pennington?"

"No," said Count Bleck. "We're going to catch him ourselves."

"Ah," said O'Chunks. "I like revenge. Good fer yer warrior honor, eh?"

"Not revenge," said Count Bleck. "Revenge does not bring peace. No, we're going to do this because tracking down our own burglar is a good step to making the world a better place."

"Oh, jeeze," groaned Mimi. "We're not gonna, like, chase away his personal demons and try to make him a good person, are we? Cause that's totally lame. And boring."

"Well," said Count Bleck, "Something like that…"

"Aye, I can't imagine lookin' on the face o' the man who violated the sanctity o' this castle we call home an' not givin' him a taste o' these chunks!" O'Chunks struck a pose.

"I agree with the other two," said Dimentio. "Stealing a numismatist's collection is something that simply cannot be forgiven, nor forgotten. I would like to settle the score on him… with magic!"

"I like giving in to peer pressure," said Mr. L, "so I agree with them."

"Look at it this way," said Count Bleck. "Would the world be better off with one more true-hearted citizen, or one more jail cell filled up? Think of our goal, my friends."

Mimi put her face in her hands. They all groaned.

Count Bleck leaned back and sighed. Then he straightened back up. "Of course, if that doesn't work," the Count said slowly, putting his hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Well, then… perhaps for old times sake… I suppose…" and he trailed off.

"YES!" they all cheered.

"Blumiere," said Tippi warningly.

"Sorry, love," he said. "If I want to keep my minions on board, I have to keep them happy. I'll meet them halfway on this one."

Tippi giggled. "Yeah, yeah, I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this."

"My dear, you had no idea."