AN: Of everything that happened in that last book this was all I could think to write about? Ah, well. A lot happened right there at the end, but there were some fascinating character developments all wrapped up in the middle, too. After watching Sydney struggle with her body image for two books and then manage to get herself under control in TIS, I was a little surprised that her father's comments didn't have more of an effect on her in this book. She's a never-endingly strong human being, but some people just should not be allowed to have kids..
"You daydreaming, Sage?" I glanced up from my hands at Adrian, who was raising his eyebrow and smirking at me. Zoe, of course, glanced up too, and Adrian chuckled as he realized that "Sage" could refer to either of us. "Sage the senior, of course," he clarified. "Zoe is focused and attentive, as always." I grimaced as I watched her try to decide if he was making fun of her or not.
It was dinner at Clarence's, and all but Zoe and I were engaged in a fun, rowdy conversation about everything from the Valentine's Dance to some TV show that Jill swore up and down was the best ever and no one else seemed interested in. I desperately wanted to be a part of the conversation, even if I had nothing to contribute to either topic, but couldn't due to Zoe's presence, leaving me sadly picking at my slice of pizza and perhaps looking less than interested, occasionally glancing at Zoe who somehow managed to look nervous and disdainful at the same time.
"Sydney's focused and attentive, too," I said mildly, silently thanking Adrian for having brought me into the conversation. Jill laughed and Eddie glanced at us curiously.
"Of course," Adrian answered, smirking. "When Sydney's not daydreaming she's busy making perfect grades. I've heard she's a very quick study." Jill choked on her drink at that and Adrian's cheeks turned pink as he remembered that he and I were not the only people in the room who would get his veiled flirtation.
To cover my own blush I took a long drink of my water‒—limiting myself to one caffeinated drink per day meant no more Diet Coke if I still wanted coffee in my life‒—and prayed there was no way anyone other than Jill would have any idea what he was talking about. When I put the glass back on the table and cautiously peeked around, everyone looked curious but no one looked suspicious.
"Well she's certainly always working on that stupid project for Ms. Terwilliger," Zoe muttered, and I glanced at her. She looked abashed as she realized that because I was sitting right next to her and everyone else had supernatural hearing, every single person at the table had heard her. We fell into a slightly awkward silence.
"Well, Angeline's still hungry," Angeline said suddenly. We all turned to look at her, faces ranging from amused to disapproving.
"Angeline talks like Elmo now?" Jill giggled.
"What? Sydney did it, and they were just talking about how smart she is." I sighed, suddenly exhausted. Exhausted by Angeline's at times childlike behavior, exhausted by pretending not to be friends with them when my sister was around, exhausted by the weight of Zoe's gaze on me, knowing she'd report everything back to our father.
"Do you want my piece, Angeline?" I asked before anyone had a chance to respond to her demonstration of wild misunderstanding. My slice was basically untouched and she eyed it for a moment before nodding. I handed it off to her, then stood. "I'm going to go to the restroom, I'll be back in a moment."
I did actually head toward the bathroom, but just stood in front of the sink, back to the mirror with door open once I got there. I ran my hands through my hair, closing my eyes.
Just twenty minutes with my father and I couldn't even eat a slice of pizza. How pathetic was that? I knew that I was still very slim, I knew that five pounds was barely noticeable anyway, I knew that I hadn't even gone up a size. And yet all I could think about was that none of that was good enough for him. Of course, it hadn't helped realizing that Zoe was more aware than I could have imagined of my friendship with the Palm Springs crew, whether she knew about Adrian or not.
"Sage?" I turned toward the door, though of course I already knew who it was.
"Where did you tell Zoe you were going?" I asked, heart suddenly, unexpectedly pounding with the words she'd said to my father earlier.
Sydney certainly has Moroi and dhampir friends… she hangs out with them, does favors for them.
"Feeder," Adrian said. "Figured that way there's no way she'll follow me." I nodded, satisfied. He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. "Something's wrong," he said, looking at me. "Something happened."
"No, nothing happened," I said and he raised an eyebrow. "Not the kind of thing you're thinking of. Nothing dangerous. Well, except Zoe trying to convince Dad that I've started making friends with you guys."
Adrian suddenly looked concerned and started to say something.
"It's fine, it's fine. I convinced him I wasn't, he just made sure to remind me to focus only on things essential to your staying hidden." Adrian nodded, reassured.
"So what is it, then?" he asked, putting a hand on my cheek and sliding it down to rest on my neck.
I glanced down, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. I'd gotten better about this, he'd helped me. I had been fine, started eating a healthy amount. But somehow twenty minutes with my dad turned all of that on its head.
No, not twenty minutes. Four words.
"My dad noticed that I'd gained weight," I whispered, looking back up to meet Adrian's eyes.
You've gained some weight. That was all he'd said about it: that it was probably smart to order a smaller plate of sushi because I looked like I'd gained some weight.
I could feel Adrian's hand tense up and he pulled it off my neck, taking a step back. He honestly looked too furious for words for a moment, and I regretted telling him. But it was only a moment, and then he'd gathered himself.
"And so you gave away your pizza?" I nodded. He sighed. "Sage, you're beautiful. And I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that to counteract whatever your jackass dad has told you, but I'll do it. Okay?"
"I'm fine, I just wasn't in the mood for greasy pizza right after… you know." He nodded.
"Oh, I know. Believe me, I get fathers that make you feel two inches tall." I grimaced, remembering the incredibly awkward time I'd met his father, and the mess Adrian had been for days afterward.
"Zoe's going to notice how long I've been in the bathroom," I said after a moment, heading for the door. He shifted so he was blocking my way.
"I'm going to ask Dorothy to put a bowl of salad on the table, and you're going to fix yourself a bowl and eat all of it." It wasn't a request or even an order. It was simply a statement of fact. I nodded anyway, and he turned to open the door. Hand hovering over the knob, though, he turned back to me.
"You're not two inches tall, Sage," he said. "You're a mountain. You tower above him."
Someday my father's opinion wouldn't determine how many calories I allowed myself any given day, but until then, Adrian would ground me. For once, he'd be my flame in the dark.
I left the bathroom and heard him right behind me, quiet and right in my ear as I headed back for the living room.
"You're beautiful, Sydney Sage." I turned to look at him, but he'd already turned and headed back the other direction toward Dorothy for a feeding. When he saw me he smirked, his Adrian persona back on for the sake of potential listening ears, but when he spoke the words were real. "As many times as you need to hear it, Sage, I'll say it."
And somehow, I knew with every fiber of my being that he meant it.