Hello! Distrust is being weird with me, so the 8th chapter isn't probably coming for another week. But! I did have the inspiration to write this heavy-angst Dragonfable fanfiction. I hope you guys enjoy it, and although it makes sense to me, I would like to know what you thought of it, so please drop a review.

Also, this oneshot isn't something that you can understand fully and completely by reading it once. I, personally, would recommend reading it at least twice. Having said that, have a nice time reading this!!

Samantha (Abloom)

There may come a time in your life when you can't be loved by anyone, even one's self.

And sometimes I wonder why I kill.

Any other defender of Falconreach would say it's for their protection. A few have had their kin destroyed by monsters, and the people who hail them.

Destruction; that's all that we live by. You have to wonder why the monsters attack to start with. In many cases, their home was destroyed. In even more, they were just borne of an evil spell. Who created the spell you ask? It was someone who had revenge or their protection in mind. Doesn't that sound vaguely familiar?

We all think that we have a reason to kill; the thing is that we really don't.

All we do is stoop down to the attacker's level. The attacker's morale is only low because someone caused it to stoop down to the person before that's level. Going back and back, that's all you see.

The chain has been going on for centuries, and few think to challenge it. It's like wondering why you brush your hair. You just do, although it's not completely necessary to come it every day.

Somewhere along that chain, it becomes a habit, or instinct. We kill for material things, religion, or revenge, but everyone still wants to take your beliefs, supplies, and life. Those who wish to have freedom will only be given it falsely, due to the imprisoning fact that they killed to do so. The enemy will haunt you no longer during the day, but at all times.

Your enemy had a family too.

Your enemy suffered losses too.

You attack them, they attack you, you attack them, and they attack you.

It never stops, even when one side is dead. Revenge always is sought. That's the way it's always been.

I realized this the first time I killed someone, and their eyes stayed open. A corpse never naturally looks sleeping, peaceful, or angry. They look…dead.

Here I sit under a cherry tree, on a cliff overlooking the ocean. My staff will never see the wrongs in its actions, and it doesn't have to question why it does something. It has a master to do that. It has me to see and feel the lust of battle, and to also feel my heart wrench every time I kill for my "family", or for my "people." If it wasn't for the chain, you wouldn't have to kill at all.

But sometimes you can look at the "Great Warriors of Falconreach" that way. They kill for false reasons, for there is no reason to kill.

I wouldn't want you to think that I don't do the above, for as one in the higher ranks, I do it more than anyone. And hence, I commit these crimes daily, which is part of the reason why I see my mistakes.

In this way, our race is almost disgusting; we have no power over our fates. Even in realizing my wrongs, I grow angry at myself, emotionally killing others that I know. That happened too many times; I am alone now.

All I have currently is my status, which was achieved with the taking of other's lives, which is what I'm least proud of.

Along with that I have the wind. While some people might say that the air accompanies them as a friend, that does not describe my case. The only thing the wind has ever done for me is make me feel lonely, like a shell of the pure being that once was the mage, Maigo.

I guess you can only realize the true impact of death once someone you love dies because of you. I was given only one person in this world to love, and that person never knew how I felt.

Aoris loved me, and I loved him from afar. At that time I didn't know how to use weapons, and was afraid of the fact that he was a mage. I told him that I was afraid, and he made a joke about it, making me think that he didn't care. But, that idiot signed up for the next war. Just a week later, Aoris the wind mage was dead.

That was three years ago, and after that incident I turned angry and cold, wanting to kill.

And now, I sit at the base of a cherry tree, staring, but not paying any attention to the red sea, and feeling the wind howl in my face. I was called crazy for fighting so much, and now I am shunned for not fighting in the current war.

I see that I hadn't thought about Aoris for awhile, and I wonder why I kill. I can't deny that I loved someone very much, but what's the use if they aren't around anymore? Sometimes I think that, instead of sinking down one level, my morale just kept going lower and lower until I was barely human.

What would have happened if I had told Aoris that I loved him?

I don't know, that's not the path that I chose. The only thing I can feel now is my staff, cape, and helm leaving my body, the wind flowing past my head, and the cliff disappearing behind me.