Yesterdays
Summary: How do you say goodbye to the love of your life. A mushy T & G one shot.
Disclaimer: High School Musical and all of its characters belong to Disney. I just have them on secondment. This was inspired by Yesterdays from the wonderful band Switchfoot. The poem extract is by W. H. Auden called Stop all the Clocks.
A/N: Thank god for music with inspiring lyrics that will hopefully help me get over my writers' block with Living the Dream and Brief Encounter.
As I sit here in silence feeling the melancholy music wash over me, I wonder how I can go on. The church is full of all your family and friends. Even old teachers have come to pay their respects from both East High and from UCLA. You were so loved and so you should have been, you were such a special person, so sweet and warm and so full of life and I am proud you let me into your life. Taylor has just read the eulogy and it tore my heart to shreds. Now it's my turn. I don't know if I can carry it off or if I will crack under the pressure. I stand and wipe my sweaty palms down the side of my legs. My hands are shaking but I know I must do this for you.
I stand at the lectern staring out at the sea of familiar faces from our past and present. Chad and Taylor, Sharpay and Zeke, Kelsi and Ryan, Martha and Jason are all there in the second row behind the parents. They look intently at me willing me not to crack. Taylor offers a watery smile of encouragement. I clear my throat and push down the bile I can feel in my stomach.
"This is hard. How do you sum up the best years of your life and how do you say goodbye to the person that gave them to you? Everything wasn't plain sailing. We had our ups and downs but we worked them out together as a team, as partners, as best friends. I'm not one for flowery speeches but I found this poem that illustrates exactly how I feel so I'll just let it speak for me.
She was my North, my South, my East and West, my working week and my Sunday rest, my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song. I thought that love would last forever. I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun. Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good."
I know my voice cracked and tears sprang into my eyes but I managed to hold it together. Just. I stumbled from the dais and sat down heavily between my Moms who were both quietly weeping. Chad touched me on the shoulder.
"You did her proud buddy," he whispered in my ear. I just nodded. My heart was too full of emotion to do more. I was spent.
The flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line.
Your family in suits and ties.
And you're free
I stand at the side of your grave and watch helplessly as they lower you into the ground. This is it, the final goodbye and I can't help it; I'm dying too.
The ache I feel inside
is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free
Who would have thought that when I was forced up onto that stage to sing with you at the ski lodge my life would change forever? I can hear that song in my head now and I can see you so clearly dressed as you were then with that sweet smile that captured my heart. The panic I felt when you walked away and I thought I'd lost you forever, and then the hands of fate stepped in and brought you back into my life.
I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Oh I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
And until I'm with you, I carry on
I still laugh at how we triumphed over the evil deeds of the 'Ice Princess' and how your kind heart allowed her into our group even after she tried to tear us apart. I know we became good friends and that was all down to you my darling. We were all separate units until you came into our lives and broke the status quo.
I was so proud when you graduated from UCLA, stood up on stage in your gown and cap, reading your valediction and when you flung your cap in the air signalling your freedom my heart soared because I knew it was my freedom too; my freedom to finally ask you to be my wife and be with you forever and the elation I felt when you said yes.
Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless numb and sore
A part of you and me is torn.
You're free
I still see you walking down the aisle, dressed like an angel coming to make my life complete. I was on top of the world when you finally said 'I do'. I hope I lived up to your expectations and made you as happy as you made me.
But now I lie awake as the dawn rises from her sleep touching the world and waking it to a new day, a new beginning but not for me, never for me. I cannot see the future without you by my side to share the joys and pain that life can throw at you.
I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life in me.
I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Oh I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
And until I'm with you, I carry on
I'll carry on I'll carry on.
It was hard watching you slip away dying a little every day. You were so brave when we were told the news. It was me that cried like a baby and it was you that got me through. It was you that was the strong one and it was me that failed you in the end but it was so hard watching you get weaker and weaker and I felt so helpless and feeble as the life drained out of you. There was nothing I could do. At least you're free from the pain that was eating you up inside and showed in your beautiful brown eyes. It was killing me inside, watching you fade away.
Every lament is a love song.
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
And now as I stand at your graveside, tending to your grave. I cannot believe a month has gone by; I've lived in a daze. I place fresh flowers around you and feel angry that that is all I can do. I've brought your beautiful gift that you gave to me. She is the reason I live, the reason I am not yet with you. I promise to love and protect her and show her the beauty of the world; the way you did me.
Every lament is a love song.
Yesterday, yesterday,
So long my friend, so long.
Sorry this is so short but It's been floating about inside for a while and I hope it is the catalyst to unblocking my creativity for the other stories.