Day 1 of my summer diary:

Ok, before I begin to write something in this book that I look back on and "laugh" about, this was not my idea. This was Twilight's idea. She said "It will fun to look back on all our summer memories together, and it will be great way for you to improve your writing skills." I don't know what's up these ponies these days. They think everyone loves what they do and force it down everyone's throats. Last week I had to walk Sweetie Bell to school and she kept talking about her cutie mark and kept asking questions like "Do you want a cutie mark, and if you did, what would it be?" I tried to act like I cared, but deep inside, I wanted her to shut up and walk herself to school.

But this is for Twilight. She'd better not think I'm going to write my feelings or something like that. Last thing she needs to know is how deeply I actually feel about some of these jerk-offs. She'd probably send me off to some kind of trouble kids school. She's probably going to get a couple pages out of me and then I'm done for the whole summer.

I have nothing to write about now. See, I told you...

"Well, I guess that's it for today." Spike closed the book and put it under his pillow, while at the same time laying his head down and trying to get an extra hour of sleep, until...

"SPIKE, GET UP!" a yelled a clearly annoyed Twilight.

"Son of a bitch!" Spike muttered under his breath, still laying in the bed. "I'm coming, hold on!" he yelled while getting up and stretching his arms and legs.

He walked down the castle hallways, still trying to get some sleep as his eyes remained mostly shut. As he was walking, he bumped into something warm, covered in fur, and smelling so good that he put his arms around it like hug.

"Aww, good morning, Spike," a low voice said. Spike's eyes shot open as he realized that it wasn't Twilight's voice he was hearing.

"Oh, hey, Fluttershy... why are you here so early in the morning?" Spike asked.

"Oh, Twilight called a Meeting about our plans for the summer," Fluttershy said with a smile.

Really? Did Twilight just wake my ass up over a fucking meeting about how to spend Summer? Ok, they asked for it!

"Ok. I'll be out there in a few, but why are you over here?" Spike asked.

"I have to use the bathroom. I have to drop a hot steamer," Fluttershy said, rubbing her belly.

"Oh, umm... God bless you?" Spike said, laughing awkwardly.

They went separate their ways, and Spike made it to the table of harmony to see Twilight talking to the girls. They heard him come in and all greeted him with a "good morning." He sat in his chair and joined in the conversation.

Time to do what I do best: be an asshole to assholes.

After much internal debate over the best way to momentarily escape the conversation, Spike finally got up and walked to the kitchen to get himself a glass of milk.

"Love the taste of milk in the morning. Gets me ready for the day," Spikes said to himself.

Spike reluctantly walked back to table and sat down, with everyone still listening to Twilight go on about something that Spike didn't even bother to listen to.

"So we need to head over there by tomorrow–" Twilight was cut short by a wave of milk being spat out by a fake-laughing dragon, while Rainbow Dash and PinkiePie were actually laughing.

"Wow, Twilight, that was too funny! Say it again!" Spike yelled sarcastically.

"Spike, what I was saying was really important. Maybe you should listen!" Twilight snapped back, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"Oh my god what are we going to do for Summer because it is so important OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!" Spike yelled, doing his best "obnoxious Twilight" impression.

"Nailed it!" yelled Pinkie Pie from across the table.

"Spike, I wouldn't have a summer and neither will you if you don't listen!" Twilight yelled in anger.

"Fine, I'll listen," Spike said, crossing his arms.

"Ok, so basically blah blah blah blah blah Dezz nuts blah blah blah blah you're not my dad blah blah blah blah blah blah Ha gotten!" Spike heard Twilight yell.

"Wait Wait, can you repeat everything you just said?" Spike said.

Everyone at the table slumped down and groaned.

[color=0000ff]"Sugar cube, this cut it short," Applejack said.

"Oh man, so you're not going to be for the whole summer?" Spike asked Twilight sadly.

"Yes, Spike. Princess Diana, um, I mean, Princess Celestia needs me, so I'll talk to you later when we go to GOLDEN CORRAL!"

"Oh my God! I CAN'T WAIT TO STUFF MY FUCKING FACE WITH ALL THAT FRIED CHICKEN!" Rarity yelled. Everyone looked at her with shocked faces.

"FAT BITCH!" Fluttershy yelled from the bathroom.

"Mean fatty food yay," Rarity said, toning it down a little.

They all got up and walked out the door, and Fluttershy followed yelling "Wait up! I want some chicken too!"

40 minutes earlier

"Oh shit, it's not going down! This is so not cool!" Fluttershy muttered angrily.

"Ok Ok, what to do, what to do?" she thought, panicking. She had no choice. She had to put the blame on someone, but how?

"WHO WANTS TO GO TO GOLDEN CORRAL!" Twilight yelled.

"Oh my God! I CAN'T WAIT TO STUFF MY FUCKING FACE WITH ALL THAT FRIED CHICKEN!" Rarity yelled.

"Oh yes, blame it on the person who loves to eat," Fluttershy whispered with a sinister smile.

"YOU FAT BITCH!" Fluttershy yelled again.