September 2003

"Hello, Harry."

Harry winced. The sound of her voice had caused him to jump, sending the tiny pieces of shredded napkins scattering across the small table. A few pieces fell into the circular rings of sweat left from his glass of water that he hadn't touched. Harry stared at the floating bits of paper. He couldn't will himself to meet her eyes... yet. Harry heard her pull back the chair across from his and take a seat but after that, she was perfectly silent. Luna was always silent, it seemed. It was maddening and yet comforting, all at once. She never expected him to fill the air with empty words the way that the world always seemed to demand that he do. Luna knew that Harry needed to take his time and she let him. She didn't demand to know his feelings, or how he was adjusting, or what he was thinking constantly. If he wanted to offer the information, then fine - she'd be there. She was always there. Luna wasn't taken in by The Chosen One or by The Boy Who Lived. To Luna, he simply existed as Harry. And this was the one thing that Harry desired of the world - to be seen apart from the war, from Voldemort, from death... so why was he choosing this path for himself?

He cleared his throat.

"Luna, I..." he chanced a glance at her and found she was watching him, steadily. Her big, blue eyes shone clear and seemed to say that she'd accept whatever he was about to confess. And inexplicably, he grew angry. He was about to hurt her, to break his own heart, and she'd simply take it without a fight. "Luna, I'm going to ask Ginny to marry me." Luna's face fell for one iota of a second, before she pulled her lips into a small smile. And that tiny, nearly imperceptible break in her face seemed to shatter Harry.

"Ah, well. It would seem that congratulations are in order," Luna reached across the small café table and patted Harry's hand with her own. Before she could pull away, he grabbed her hand with his own. The gesture made her start, and she glanced up at Harry.

"I'm sorry, Luna," he said, his voice hoarse.

"For what, Harry?" She fixed her eyes on him, searching his face. Harry broke her gaze and looked around the café. The Muggles were all carrying on with their own business. They, like Luna, paid no special attention to Harry. This was why he escaped to the Muggle world. If he had known at eleven that he would seek the Muggle world out as a refuge, Harry would have laughed until he cried. But in the five years after the end of the Second War, life had become nearly unbearable. Naturally, he had the friends who had supported him before the world fell apart but even they were different now too. Ron and Hermione were living together, creating their own future... and though they never intentionally excluded Harry, he was no longer a central piece of their relationship. They were creating a life together and it did not feel right to expect them to make the same space for him as he would have when they were in Hogwarts.

The rest of the wizarding world treated him like a war hero. He supposed he was but Harry had hoped that he'd be given the chance at a life he had never experienced - a life of anonymity. A life in which people didn't stop and applaud him in the streets. Where children didn't stop and stare. He knew in his heart that he should be thankful that his world understood and appreciated what he had been through but - did they really? Did they truly understand? No. Harry had been through some very dark places in his young life, but now? He couldn't begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel. He only thought he knew isolation before. And now, now he was going to marry Ginny Weasley.

Harry had no doubt in his mind that Ginny would accept. The two had been a couple ever since the Battle of Hogwarts and everyone seemed to accept their relationship as permanent. Ginny was his best friend's sister, and Harry loved her family. In fact, he was a part of her family. He had no doubts that she would be faithful to him and to be steady along side him for the rest of their days. And truly, was there anything more that a person could ask for? Ginny was a wonderful woman, and Harry knew that they could be good for each other... if he knew that there wasn't someone else who was better suited for him.

And he believed that person was sitting across from him at this very moment.

"I feel as though I'm," I'm what? Harry thought. Betraying you? "I'm... We..." Harry stopped, at a loss for words. He glanced at her, his eyes pleading. Harry willed Luna to understand so that he wouldn't have to say the words himself.

"Harry, you're feeling guilty. I know that. I can see that. But you need to figure out why you're feeling this way before you can try to express it to me," Luna said and gently pulled her hand free of his. Harry clenched his fists. Anger, again.

Luna and Harry forged some sort of special relationship while they were students at Hogwarts. In a way, they were very similar. They were both outcasts and, at times, ostracized by the world at large. But while Harry wanted to rage at the world for not understanding and for abandoning him, Luna took it all in stride. He knew that it got to her at times, when they were younger, but she took it all with grace. Luna Lovegood was a study in grace but more often than not, the world failed to recognize it. Harry's face burned with shame and his stomach doubled over when he remembered how he used to mock Luna - behind her back and sometimes, to her face. He didn't understand back then what she would become to him.

The year immediately after the War had been the worst of Harry's life. What should have been a year of triumph and celebration was marked by a life pushed even further into the public eye and, subsequently, a crippling isolation. He became angry, and lashed out at those he loved most. Ron and Hermione accepted his behavior and attempted to help him through it. After all, they had been there the most - through the worst. They understood. But it was Luna who helped Harry to understand why he was angry. She sat with him for nights and days, simply listening to him ramble out his madness and work his way through what he was thinking. It was she who held him as he cried, and would be the steady hand that he reached for when he awoke from terrible nightmares. Harry still didn't understand why he turned to Luna and not to Ginny during that first year after. And Ginny recognized what was going on too. Perhaps it was a mark of how good she was that she accepted Harry's choice in companion without complaint, or maybe it was because she knew that she couldn't and didn't want to face Harry's darkness. Harry half suspected the latter.

Quite simply, Luna was a light. She was his light... and he was about to throw her away because the world expected it of him. Harry clutched his stomach - he felt that he might be sick.

"I think I'm making the wrong decision," he managed to say before clamping his mouth shut. Again, he turned his eyes to Luna's, pleading.

She offered him a small, sad smile before pulling the long strap of her handbag over her shoulder. Once more, she reached across the table and gently placed her hand on top of Harry's and squeezed gently. She stood and turned to go.

"You're-you're leaving me?" Harry spluttered. Luna sighed and turned back to look at him.

"Harry, I don't know what you want me to say-"

"What you're thinking would be nice, for a start. You're just sitting there, letting me drown... all while smiling? You, of all people, know that this isn't easy for me," Harry spat at her. He gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white, as he fought to overcome the anger that had risen up. Luna's smile fell to a hard and grim line.

"Harry, you called me here to talk... but the majority of the time you sat there looking ill. But now, I need to return to work. The Quibbler is close to being published and I need to over see it. We're doing ourselves no good just sitting here, staring at one another," Luna said. At the mention of the publication, Harry barked out a laugh.

"The Quibbler? Of course. You wouldn't want the inquiring masses to be left out of any developments surrounding the healing properties of a Blast Ended Skrewt's tail shell." As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Luna's face fell and she stared at the ground for a moment before meeting his eyes. There was a quiet fury there that he had never before seen.

"I've known you to be many things, Harry Potter... but never hateful. I understand why you're angry with the world but I will not be your punching bag. If you can figure out what is going on in that mind of yours, you know where to find me. But until then, I will not be treated with cruelty." Luna turned on her heel and rushed out of the café. Moments after the door slammed shut, Harry heard a loud and distinctive pop. He knew that she had Apparated and was gone.