A/n
Hey guys! I'm sorry that this is so late, or if it offends anyone. First off, YAY! First chapter of Bert's Cooking Show! A show about Bert the troll and his amazing...? recipes. Second, WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT THESE RECIPES AT HOME WITHOUT TROLL SUPER VISION.
Announcer: Welcome to the all new Hobbit Productions project, Bert's Cooking Show! Now for our host, Bert the Troll!
*Bert marches in, wearing a brand new apron & chef hat*
Bert: 'Ello 'Ello! Glad to be 'ere tonigh'. I'm sure your guts're rumblin' for my 'omestyle cookin'!
*Bert turns to the side of the stage*
Bert: Let's see 'oo our victim- I mean main course is tonigh'. Will! Bring 'em in!
*William carries a wriggling sack onto stage & dumps it onto the floor.*
Bert: Hmm, Yes. Very nice.
*Bert pulls Aragorn's hair so that he is standing on his knees. Aragorn has a gag in his mouth, muffling his protests.*
Bert: Now, this is the perfect ingredient for Human steak drizzled with raspberry sauce.
*Bert sets Aragorn on the kitchen counter.*
Bert: We'll start by cleaning the meat.
*Bert takes off Aragon's gag. Aragon bites Bert.*
Bert: Oi! Why you 'ittle! Come back 'ere!
*Aragorn bites off the ropes bindings & runs away, leaving an angry Bert with a bleeding thumb.*
Bert: Well, looks like our dinner 'as run off. Guess we're 'avin nuffin' ta eat tonigh'. Farewell, I suppose.
Announcer: Will Bert get to cook something next episode? Will he get rabies from Aragorn? Will his foods taste awful? All will be answered next time, on Bert's Cooking Show.
A/n
Yeah yeah, I know.
"SloTurtle, we waited this long for THIS?"
Sorry, but I haven't gotten everything completely laid out. So this is sort of a practice episode.
Trust me though, it'll get easier to writer better & longer chapters once we're further in the show.
Hope you enjoyed,
Toodles!